Love is one of life’s most interesting words. It’s a great word. one of the best words. It’s also perhaps one of the most overused words.

No doubt, it’s a tragedy if you don’t hear that word enough in your life, but I also believe there’s a case to be made for hearing it too much. By too much I certainly don’t mean to imply that anyone can get too much love in their life. Only that the specific word “love” gets overused as a universal stand-in for thoughts and feelings that could often be better expressed in other ways and with other words, if only we were to take the time to do so. And my point is, if you really love someone you should, whenever possible, take the time to say it better.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not a love Nazi. I say “I love you” a lot, and I’d definitely much rather you use the word love too much than too little. All I’m suggesting is the phrase “I love you” isn’t very specific. It means very different things at different times, it doesn’t always hint at what prompted it, and it rarely fully expresses what we’re thinking or feeling. “I love you” may get the conversation started but then let’s not leave the rest of what we’re feeling unsaid. And let’s definitely not leave the person we’re saying it to guessing at what we mean. Instead, let’s do the work to find the words that do the best job. They don’t have to be fancy words. Just clearer, more direct, more honest words.

Language is a tool box. Words matter. Actions may speak louder than words but words are pretty much all we have to explain where our actions are coming from. Knowing how important words are Tina and I have agreed to try and reach into that toolbox and beyond the word “love” whenever we can in order to best express our feelings. And I have to tell you, it makes a huge difference. So instead of just saying, “I love you,” we practice digging a little deeper and getting more specific.

So instead of just saying, “I love you,” these days Tina is more likely to hear me say things like:

I respect you. I admire you. I appreciate you. I’m so grateful for you. I’m overwhelmed by you. I’m so comforted by you. You’re fun. You’re funny. I desire you. You’re so smart. You’re sexy. I feel safe around you. You’re so talented. You’re strong. You’re patient. You’re kind. You’re so easy to be with. You’re the kind of person I aspire to be. You put my heart and mind at ease. You’re my hero.

And of course, she hears a lot of my all time favorite expression of affection: “I really like you.” I’m a big believer that the foundation for a truly amazing relationship is not just loving each other, but truly liking each other. I believe in falling in like.

So, just a little reminder that there are people in our lives who’d really benefit from hearing how you really feel about them. “I love you” is great. But don’t let love be the only word in the toolbox. Dig down and find other words, better words, more specific words, and then learn to use those words—openly and often—as tools to build yourself, and those you love, a more beautiful life