Honestly, Dear Listener

A lot of us didn’t get what we needed as kids, so we adapted—squeezed ourselves into shapes that kept us safe. As adults, our nervous systems still remember those shapes. This episode is about our inner child: the part that wants to play and create, but also freaks out when life feels unsafe.

Carrie shares how ACA and parts work (IFS) helped her begin reparenting herself; Emily talks survival mode, productivity, and why singing felt like safety. We get into grief-in-autumn vibes, the self-soothing we never learned, and—because it’s us—a strangely perfect detour into inner ears and earwax: inner child, inner ear—chef’s kiss.

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References:

• ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families - 12-Step Support & Recovery Group - for anyone who, because of people or circumstances in their childhoods, had to adapt in painful, unhelpful, or unhealthy ways to survive—whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually

• IFS - Internal Family Systems - also known as “parts work” - a psychotherapy tool developed by Richard C. Schwartz that views that the mind as a collection of relatively separate subpersonalities or parts, each with its own unique viewpoint and qualities

• “Ball of Wax” - english idiom meaning “everything” or “all of it”
  

TIMECODES:
0:00 - Intro
0:49 - Grief
3:24 - Inner Child work
10:39 - Often, our parents didn’t have enough tools to give us what we needed
12:35 - Hiding from healing in the church
18:54 - We were trained that if we were okay, we were doing something wrong
21:59 - We weren’t taught how to self-soothe
24:32 - When the Inner Child calls bullshit/earning back our Inner Child’s trust
27:14 - Getting healing for US is the best gift we could give our kids
28:48 - Our Inner Child is the seat of our creativity
34:39 - Trauma lands hard as a child
35:28 - The Earwax Discussion

Carrie tried smoking grass at 14. It's not what you think. It didn't go well.

Today, we’re doing something a little different: Carrie is sharing a finished thing—a non-fiction short story she wrote called “The Inside Girl.” It’s about growing up in a bubble, longing to be inside of culture, and the day teenage curiosity met cattail fluff and…fire. It’s a story she needed to write to make sense of her longing to belong.

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Where to find Carrie:

Read “The Inside Girl” on Substack

Substack: carriekingpresents.substack.com

Instagram: @carriekingpresents

YouTube: @carriekingpresents

This week on the show, we talk about play and rest and how they’re kind of important parts to our creative practice. We talk about giving our minds a rest and letting our bodies take the wheel by choosing low-stakes experiments (waste the page) to loosen perfectionism. On the rest side, we talk about what it is (choice) and isn’t (doomscrolling).

We’re getting a little rebellious with this one—and perhaps even a tad wasteful *gasp*!

References:

• Utah Shakespeare Festival - annual summer/fall theatre festival in Cedar City, UT

• Into the Woods - 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep and a bunch of other famous people

In this Rewind & Reset episode, we look back at Quarter 3—Carrie stepping into her writing and performance dreams, and Emily navigating grief while still creating music and finding her footing. We talk about what it means to stop playing small, to honor our own timing, and to carry those lessons forward into Quarter 4 with gentleness, courage, and creativity.

References:

• Carrie’s Substack - Read & SUBSCRIBE here

• Carrie’s “Girl on the Mountain” Substack post - (It’s actually called “The Audacity of Wanting”)

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:13 - “Dead dad couture”
3:05 - “Drawers”
5:10 - English is an asshole language
7:04 - The world’s greatest joke
7:54 - Clothing on animals…we die.
13:45 - How Carrie’s Q3 goals went
19:40 - What’s ahead for Carrie in Q4
23:19 - Emily’s Q3/Q4 goals

NOTE: This is part 2 of our two-part series talking with Singer/Songwriter Melissa V. Cartwright. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to part 1 and then come back here for part 2.

In this follow-up conversation with Melissa V. Cartwright, we continue unpacking the process of spiritual deconstruction—especially how it reshapes the way we create. We talk about what happens when the certainty we once clung to dissolves, and how grief, disorientation, and memory show up in our art.

From “cry nights” and purity culture to unexpected dreams and desert metaphors, we explore the tension between old beliefs and creative freedom.

Ultimately, we ask: what if not knowing is a perfectly good reason to make something?

Melissa’s Bio:
Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. 

Where to find Melissa:

Website: www.mvcperformance.com
Instagram: @mvcperformance
TikTok: @mvcperformance
Passionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube

References:

Have you ever felt guilty for enjoying the spotlight? This week we talk with singer, songwriter, and voice coach Melissa V. Cartwright about what it means to grow up evangelical, wrestle with performance, and deconstruct the old programming that told us our art could only be “for God’s glory.” Together, we explore perfectionism, fear, and how to reclaim joy, play, and the freedom to be fully seen.

Melissa’s Bio:
Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show. 

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Where to find Melissa:

Website: www.mvcperformance.com
Instagram: @mvcperformance
TikTok: @mvcperformance
Passionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube

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References:

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
5:11 - Growing up in fundamentalist Christianity as performers
6:38 - Melissa’s history & deconstruction
14:53 - Communication & overspiritualization
19:17 - “I don’t have to hate God to not buy into the bullshit”
19:33 - Worship leading & our bids for connection
23:18 - The weight of overspiritualization & perfectionism
25:26 - Performance: for God or for you? & FEAR
32:00 - Do we need constant saving?
32:48 - From saving the world to play

Hey, Dear Listener,

A quick heads- up before we begin:
Today's episode involves the death of a parent. If you're navigating any kind of loss--whether someone is truly gone or just no longer who they were before--take care of yourself as you listen. 

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In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about what happens to all the expectations we carry once the person who placed them on us is no longer here. Emily shares about the recent passing of her dad—her childhood best friend and fiercest cheerleader—and how his absence has unexpectedly reshaped her relationship to music, identity, and pressure.

We explore how parents pass down not just values, but scripts—and how, in their absence, we’re sometimes left wondering who we really are.

Whether you’ve lost a parent or are simply renegotiating the story you’ve been handed, we hope this episode meets you where you are.

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References:

• As I Lay Dying - novel by William Faulkner
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:38 - Creatives & Overthinking
4:39 - “My dad died.”
10:48 - “I’m living his dream.”
12:26 - Grieving someone while they’re still alive
22:48 - Expectations- “Who am I if my parents are gone?”
25:55 - What Emily’s noticing about expectations/her identity now that her dad is gone
30:00 - An irreverent chat about cremation
40:27 - Grief

What happens when the work that once gave you life starts to feel like a cage?

In this episode, we talk with designer, teacher, entrepreneur, (and Carrie’s former sewing program director) Trishawna Quincy, who shares the story of how she left a stable job she loved—one she built from the ground up—to launch her own sewing business. We talk about discerning when it’s time to pivot, how to say no without guilt, and why building a creative life you actually enjoy is worth the risk (even if it means ironing a cocktail dress when you’re broke).

We cover:

• Navigating career transitions with intention (and spreadsheets)

• How to know what kind of work lights you up vs. what drains you

• Setting boundaries around your time and talents

• Why following joy isn’t a luxury—it’s fuel for the hard parts

• The unexpected power of making videos, honoring process, and letting your students into your creative practice

Whether you’re a multi-hyphenate creative, a burned-out teacher, or just someone who’s hearing the quiet call to “jump,” this one’s for you.

Learn more about Trishawna’s private sewing lessons and creative work at tikivisionstylelab.com.

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Where to find Trishawna:

Website: www.tikivisionstylelab.com
Instagram: @tikivisonstylelab
TikTok: @tikivisionstylelab

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References:

• Sewing Training Academy - workforce program in Nashville, TN offered by Catholic Charities
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
3:57 - History of the Sewing Training Program
8:44 - Trishawna’s childhood history with sewing
16:52 - Feeling the need for change
22:41 - Fears about jumping, fear, and uncertainty
28:45 - On saying “no”
38:14 - Advice for new entrepreneurs 

This week, we were supposed to record an episode about a totally different topic—but then real life (and a weed whacker) happened. So instead, Carrie and Emily get honest about what it looks like when your beautiful, color-coded goal list gets trampled by end-of-school chaos, family birthdays, two pages of unchecked boxes, and a spontaneous deep-dive into Christian denominational history. (Yes, really.)

We talk about:

• The guilt spiral of not hitting one single weekly goal

• Why setting “tiny dumb goals” might be the secret to success

• The trauma residue of rigid goal systems (ahem Christian school “offices”)

• How soft goals and flexibility can actually get us further

• ADHD, motherhood, and how hard it is to prioritize play when bills are looming

If you’ve ever set ambitious intentions only to get steamrolled by life—or if your nervous system clutches its pearls when you try to have fun—this one’s for you.

Spoiler: You’re not a failure. You’re a human. And you’re probably doing great.

References:

• 85: The Tender Artist’s Goal Toolkit: Building Habits without Crushing Your Soul with Allie Moss 06.27.25 - episode of Honestly, Dear Listener podcast - aired 6/27/25

• Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy - book by Aundi Kolber

If you’re an artist with big dreams and a limited amount of energy (hello, real life), this episode is for you. We’re joined by singer/songwriter, vocal coach, and goals-group-organizing wizard Allie Moss to talk about how to set meaningful creative goals without falling into hustle-culture burnout.

We dig into:

• How to tell the difference between “I don’t want to do this” vs. “I’m scared to do this”

• Why your inner critic needs a nap while you’re making things

• The beauty of quantity over perfection

• Gentle approaches to time management, including Allie’s streaks habit app and her color-coded calendar system

• The power of community and accountability (without the shame)

Whether you’re writing songs, books, or to-do lists on the back of receipts, this one’s full of practical advice for showing up to your creative life with intention—and a little grace.

Where to Find Allie:

Website: www.alliemoss.com
Coaching Website: www.alliemosscoaching.com/
Instagram: @Allie Moss
Apple Music: Allie Moss
Spotify: Allie Moss
TikTok: Allie Moss

Thinking Outside the Blocks:
Website: www.thinkingoutsidetheblocks.com
Instagram: @thinkingoutsidetheblocks

References:

• Quarterly Quests from Ali Abdaal’s free workshop - see his work here

• The 12 Week Year - book by Brian P. Moran & Michael Lennington

• Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones - book by James Clear

• The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron

• Streaks - habit-forming to-do list app
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
1:20 - Meet Allie Moss
10:52 - How to know what you actually want (vs. what you “should” do)
16:51 - Why quarterly goals work better than yearly resolutions
18:41 - How to chunk down
25:45 - Becoming the kind of person who does the thing (identity-based goals)
29:51 - How to hush your inner editor
35:19 - Calendar blocking, creative energy, and realistic planning
47:34 - Accountability that doesn’t suck (and the power of community)