Today on Honestly, Dear Listener, we are unpacking what the heck “the patriarchy” even means, how it hurts artists, and what YOU can do to dismantle it. Joining us today is Carrie’s childhood friend Rachel Darden, a working actor known not only for her talent but also for her keen observations on the state of the arts.

From storytelling shackled by skewed representation to the invisibility of aging women, the patriarchy has left its mark on creativity. Today, we'll explore the need for diverse stories and authentic female portrayals in an industry often blinded by gender biases. We also discuss how the patriarchy is hurtful for men and what all genders can do to recognize and counteract the patriarchy in their art and in their own lives.

Prepare to rethink what it means to be a feminine creator in a world stubbornly molded for the masculine narrative. We're unpacking it all—aging, sexism, representation, and the resilience of womanhood.

Where You Can Find Rachel:

• TikTok - @likely_nauseated

• Instagram - @likely__nauseated

References:

We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.

It’s our first episode of Season 4!

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.

Where to Find Amber:

Website: evolvevocalstudio.com
Instagram: @EvolveVocalStudio
YouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  
Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudio
TikTok: @EvolveVocalStudio

Listen to our past episode with Amber HERE!We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.

It’s our first episode of Season 4!

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.

Where to Find Amber:

Website: evolvevocalstudio.com
Instagram: @EvolveVocalStudio
YouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  
Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudio
TikTok: @EvolveVocalStudio

Listen to our past episode with Amber HERE!

References:

• The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron

• “51: Finding Our Creative Identity with Gemma Sugrue 09.20.24” - Honestly, Dear Listener episode Season 3, Episode 51

  
  

TIMECODES:
0:00 - Intro
1:04 - Amber intro & WE’RE NOW IN SEASON 4!
2:34 - Motivating ourselves while not kicking our own butts
11:17 - Filled up with ourselves/self-centering
20:42 - Toward and away motivations
27:57 - Steps to catching and changing negative motivations

Ever been stuck in a tiny cubicle, staring at a fluorescent light, memorizing alternative history while yearning for human connection? Welcome to our private Christian school experience. This week, we take you back to the rigid world of goal charts, scripture memorization, and cubicle learning, where asking for help required raising tiny American and Christian flags—and asking for more wasn’t an option. But what happens when you finally unlearn that conditioning?

Emily shares how she accidentally manifested a band and a gig, sparking a deep dive into the fear of wanting, why women struggle to ask for more, and how creativity thrives when we allow ourselves to receive. We also explore a big question: What if the opportunities we want were always there, but we were taught to believe we didn’t deserve them? Plus, a teaser for next week: What if your body already knows what you want, even when your brain doesn’t?

Tune in for laughs, existential revelations, and a little manifestation magic as we break out of Christian cubicles and into cosmic possibilities.

References:

• Somebody Somewhere - TV show on HBO

• The Secret - book by Rhonda Byrne

  
  

  TIMECODES
  0:00 Intro
  0:31 - Our fundamentalist private Christian school woes
  13:50 - About the last two weeks…
  15:34 - Let’s talk about manifestation
  20:05 - Getting out in the world
  28:27 - Manifestation: where do I start?
  33:12 - “It’s scary to want.”
  35:17 - Contentment vs. satisfaction
  39:12 - Next steps
  

  Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

  • 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

  • 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

  • 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

  • 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

  • 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

Ever feel like the world is on fire, your creative energy is on life support, and the certainty you once clung to—faith, government, the idea that adults know what they’re doing—was all an illusion?

Yeah, us too.

This week, we’re getting real about the existential free-fall of realizing certainty was never actually real, the shame spiral that comes with feeling too much, and the struggle to carve out small pockets of joy without guilt. Along the way, we unpack the absurdity of self-directed cruelty (love yourself, you asshole), the tension between being informed and completely overwhelmed, and why questioning everything doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re alive. Buckle up for brutal honesty, questionable metaphors, and maybe, just maybe, a little hope.

References:

• “Thinking Out Loud” - song by Ed Sheeran

  
  

TIMECODES
0:00 Intro
0:33 - We’re the fun ones. So why don’t I feel fun?
5:23 - Invalidating our own painful feelings/feeling shame for feelings
12:16 - Fundamentalist upbringing contributing to feeling shame for feelings
13:087 - Uncertainty vs. uncertainty
22:34 - Finding balance between wallowing and purposefully ignorant
24:52 - “Love yourself, asshole!”
26:18 - Access to information is a double-edged sword

Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

• 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

• 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

• 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

• 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

• 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

In this week’s episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we talk about showing up in the middle of neither of us being okay. We talk about how our creative energy—heck, our energy in general—is like a coin, an “energy coin” and how we spend it on mental and emotional resources, sometimes on creativity and connection, and other times on self-criticism and fear. We discuss the struggle of self-trust, the reality of creative burnout, and the challenge of accepting that some days, we simply don’t have the coins.

Along the way, we acknowledge the privilege of rest, the cost of overextending, and the importance of grace in a world that demands constant output. If you’re feeling depleted, this episode is a reminder that self-compassion is an investment worth making.

TIMECODES
0:00 Intro
2:00 - Collectively, we’re not okay
3:25 - Let’s talk about creative energy coins!
5:41 - We spend our coins positively and negatively
9:04 - We believe we have (or SHOULD have) unlimited coins
18:01 - Buying things on credit/overdrafting/mental health!

Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

• 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

• 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

• 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

• 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

• 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

Who says artists have to pick one identity and stick to it forever? Creativity is about curiosity, exploration, and—let’s be honest—trying on new looks like an unhinged fashion season. In this episode, we’re talking about reinvention—not as a brand strategy, but as an artist’s natural evolution. Your creative identity isn’t a fixed logo—it’s a closet full of possibilities. Some seasons, you’re all about red bows and high-waisted belts; next season, maybe it’s neon crocs and mismatched socks. The point? You get to change. So, let’s embrace the freedom to evolve and celebrate the endless costume changes that come with making art.

References:

• Beyonce Wins Best Country Album at the 2025 Grammys

• “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles

• Lizzo Declares a New Era

• Follow Us on Spotify!

• Please Consider Giving Us 5 Stars on Apple Podcast

TIMECODES:

0:00 - Intro
0:36 - Artists as Brands
6:03 - How do we know ourselves without having experimented with ourselves?
7:40 - Artist’s have to have freedom
8:02 - Reinvention as fashion seasons
20:41 - Art is playing dress-up

Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

• 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

• 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

• 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

• 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

• 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we dive into the uncomfortable but necessary conversation about bias—the ones we know we have and the ones we don’t always notice. Carrie shares a personal story about confronting her own snap judgments in a dive bar, and we explore how biases show up in politics, social media, and everyday interactions.

No matter what side of the aisle we’re on, at the core, most of us want the same things—we just disagree on how to get there. So how do we recognize when we’re dehumanizing others? How can we create space for grace, empathy, and self-awareness? Let’s talk about it.