Honestly, Dear Listener

Money—just the word can trigger a storm of guilt, shame, confusion, or scarcity. In this episode, we crack open our complicated histories with cash: growing up with little, being raised in churches that equated poverty with holiness, and internalizing a belief that joy and money should never mix.

We cover:

• Growing up in financial lack

• Church culture’s weird relationship with money, guilt, and perceived “worth”

• The deeply internalize message: If you love it, you shouldn’t charge for it.

• How money wounds show up in creative careers

• The fear of being seen as “bad” or “greedy” for charging what you’re worth

• Reframing money as energy—not evil—and leaning into circulation, not hoarding

Whether you’re a freelancer, artist, teacher, or simply someone who’s ever hesitated to name a price—this episode is for you. There’s healing in honesty. And humor. And yes, maybe even in money.

References:

• You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth - book by Jen Sincero

• Rich as F*ck: More Money Than You Know What to Do With - book by Amanda Frances
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
1:20 - Emily’s money origin story
7:55 - Effects of growing up the way Emily did
10:18 - Carrie’s money origin story
20:01 - Wrong beliefs about money
29:03 - Do we think people with money are bad?

Have you ever felt like everyone around you seems to have a creative identity—but you’re just… a bunch of puzzle pieces that don’t fit into any one box? Maybe you’re multi-passionate, maybe you’ve been told to “pick a lane,” or maybe you’ve spent years trying to be a Tide Pod on a shelf—marketable, palatable, and definitely not too much.

In this episode, we talk about what creative authenticity actually feels like in the body, how to recognize when you’re betraying yourself, and why saying “I’ll think about it” might be the ultimate boundary-setting magic trick. And we are joined by a guest who’s lived all of it.

Lizzy McAvoy is an award-winning singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and producer who traded the cornfields of Central Ohio for the creative chaos of Nashville. Her songs have been recorded by Jo Dee Messina, Home Free, The Shires (certified silver), Sondr (certified gold), and Tenille Arts—whose album featuring their collaboration “Butterfly Effect” was nominated for CCMA Album of the Year.

You’ve probably heard her work on FOX, Netflix, fashion campaigns, or even a car commercial without realizing it was her. She’s also taken home honors at the Production Music Awards and the Mark Awards two years in a row—including Best Folk Production Music Track and Country/Americana Track of the Year.

Where to find Lizzy:

Website: www.lizzymcavoy.com
Instagram: @lizzymacattack
Apple Music: Lizzy McAvoy
Spotify: Lizzy McAvoy

References:

• Behind the Act Podcast with Seth Schaeffer

• Read Carrie’s Substack here!
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
16:42 - Meet Lizzy!
21:06 - Living outside of our identity
30:59 - How do we know we’re living outside of who we are?
40:40 - Lizzy’s secret phrase when you can’t say no
43:51 - How do we know when something is a fit?

LISTEN TO PART 1 HERE (then come back and listen to part 2)

You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives.

In this second half of this two-part series, Emily and Carrie continue with their discussion on envy and focus specifically on Brené Brown’s definitions of resentment, admiration, reverence, schadenfreude, and freudenfreude.

_____________________________________________

A Note from Carrie

Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.

If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!

I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.

To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.

Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.

_____________________________________________

References:

• Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené Brown
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
0:24 - What Carrie is envious about
9:12 - Resentment definition
19:38 - Admiration and reverence definitions
25:37 - Schadenfreude & freudenfreude

You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives.

In this first half this two-part series, Emily and Carrie crack open Brené Brown’s definitions, explore how envy often hides under admiration, and share personal stories about classism on airplanes, body image in middle school, and the emotional chaos of someone seeming like a better version of you.

(Spoiler: it’s never actually about them.)

______________________________________

A Note from Carrie

Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.

If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!

I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.

To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.

Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.

______________________________________

References:

• Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené Brown
  

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:39 - Premium Select
10:16 - Jealousy & Envy
10:47 - Atlas of the Heart
11:46 - Envy definition
12:24 - Comparison definition
13:45 - Jealousy definition
21:17 - What we’re usually envious about
23:19 - What Emily is envious about
28:51 - Envy as Dehumanization

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about bodies—how we ignore them, how they yell at us when we do, and what it actually means to be embodied (especially for those of us who grew up thinking our bodies were the enemy). From panic attacks to protein charts, poop habits to dance breaks, we’re getting real about the messy, beautiful, annoying work of coming home to ourselves—one hard-boiled egg at a time.

____________________________________________________________

A Note from Carrie

Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie.

If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi!

I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals.

To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching.

Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this.

____________________________________________________________

References:

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle - book by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

• Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing - book by Hillary L. McBride

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - book by Bessel van der Kolk

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:14 - Bodies & High Control Religion™️ 
10:28 - Women Ignoring their Needs (Bodily Included)
13:36 - How Panic Attacks are Helpful?
28:39 - How Do We Heal?
31:14 - Self-Trust: THE KEY
40:54 - Things We Can Do to Strengthen Our Relationship with Our Bodies

📣 Big Fat Announcement! 📣

Starting Friday, April 18, Honestly, Dear Listener will be moving to a bi-weekly release schedule—that’s every other Friday instead of every single one.

Why? Because as much as we love creating this podcast, we’re also navigating real human schedules, creative projects, family life, grief, growth, and all the glorious mess in between. And we’re practicing what we preach: realistic expectations, nervous system kindness, and sustainable creativity.

So don’t worry—we’re not going anywhere. We’re just giving ourselves (and you) a little more breathing room. Same vibes, same chaos, slightly more spacious pacing.

Mark your calendars: New episodes every other Friday starting April 18. And in the meantime, hydrate, chase your side quests, and tell perfectionist pants-face to take a nap.

With love and fewer deadlines,

Carrie & Emily 🎙️💕

In this episode, we cover:

💥 Our Q1 goals—what we smashed (and what smashed us)

🎭 Emily’s dramatic arc from “first draft” to “I quit” to “wait… cabaret?”

🧠 Carrie’s ADHD brain vs. perfectionism vs. moving boxes

💌 Rediscovering old chapel notes and decoding middle school crushes (Jim Carrey?!)

🧩 Embracing misery, perfectionist parts, and nervous system meltdowns

🧘‍♀️ Shame spirals, grief, and asking your inner critic to please just shush for a minute

🛠️ Setting doable, measurable Q2 goals using a “12-week year” approach

🩰 Our goals for Q2 2025

✨ Why surviving might be the bravest goal of all

References:

• Ep 72: We’re All Biased. Now What?

• Ep 74: We’re All Out of Energy Coins

• Ep 75: Love Yourself, Asshole, and Other Mysteries

• The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months - book by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) - aka parts work

• Teeline Shorthand

  • Let’s Love Teeline Together - online Teeline shorthand resource Carrie uses

  • Piano Marvel - music piano sight-reading app Carrie uses

TIMECODES
0:00 - Intro
2:36 - Q1 Goals Rewind
31:20 - Q2 Goals Reset
40:19 - A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!

Today on Honestly, Dear Listener, we are unpacking what the heck “the patriarchy” even means, how it hurts artists, and what YOU can do to dismantle it. Joining us today is Carrie’s childhood friend Rachel Darden, a working actor known not only for her talent but also for her keen observations on the state of the arts.

From storytelling shackled by skewed representation to the invisibility of aging women, the patriarchy has left its mark on creativity. Today, we'll explore the need for diverse stories and authentic female portrayals in an industry often blinded by gender biases. We also discuss how the patriarchy is hurtful for men and what all genders can do to recognize and counteract the patriarchy in their art and in their own lives.

Prepare to rethink what it means to be a feminine creator in a world stubbornly molded for the masculine narrative. We're unpacking it all—aging, sexism, representation, and the resilience of womanhood.

Where You Can Find Rachel:

• TikTok - @likely_nauseated

• Instagram - @likely__nauseated

References:

We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.

It’s our first episode of Season 4!

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.

Where to Find Amber:

Website: evolvevocalstudio.com
Instagram: @EvolveVocalStudio
YouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  
Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudio
TikTok: @EvolveVocalStudio

Listen to our past episode with Amber HERE!We’re diving into our vault and pulling out episodes we want to make sure you don’t miss! Here’s a gem from October 2024 talking with our friend, Amber Mogg Cathey of Evolve Vocal Studio, about how we can motivate ourselves with kindness.

It’s our first episode of Season 4!

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we welcome vocalist, voice coach, friend, and frequent contributor to the show Amber Mogg Cathey back to the podcast. We discuss our strategies for how to positively motivate ourselves instead of what comes naturally to us: kicking our own butts into submission. We talk about positive versus negative motivations and how effective each is at motivating us. We also discuss what it’s like being the kid who stuck out and how we felt like, in order to escape the scrutiny of others, we took our own selves down a peg or two which only ended up hurting our self-esteem.

Where to Find Amber:

Website: evolvevocalstudio.com
Instagram: @EvolveVocalStudio
YouTube:  @EvolveVocalStudio  
Facebook: @EvolveVocalStudio
TikTok: @EvolveVocalStudio

Listen to our past episode with Amber HERE!

References:

• The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron

• “51: Finding Our Creative Identity with Gemma Sugrue 09.20.24” - Honestly, Dear Listener episode Season 3, Episode 51

  
  

TIMECODES:
0:00 - Intro
1:04 - Amber intro & WE’RE NOW IN SEASON 4!
2:34 - Motivating ourselves while not kicking our own butts
11:17 - Filled up with ourselves/self-centering
20:42 - Toward and away motivations
27:57 - Steps to catching and changing negative motivations

Ever been stuck in a tiny cubicle, staring at a fluorescent light, memorizing alternative history while yearning for human connection? Welcome to our private Christian school experience. This week, we take you back to the rigid world of goal charts, scripture memorization, and cubicle learning, where asking for help required raising tiny American and Christian flags—and asking for more wasn’t an option. But what happens when you finally unlearn that conditioning?

Emily shares how she accidentally manifested a band and a gig, sparking a deep dive into the fear of wanting, why women struggle to ask for more, and how creativity thrives when we allow ourselves to receive. We also explore a big question: What if the opportunities we want were always there, but we were taught to believe we didn’t deserve them? Plus, a teaser for next week: What if your body already knows what you want, even when your brain doesn’t?

Tune in for laughs, existential revelations, and a little manifestation magic as we break out of Christian cubicles and into cosmic possibilities.

References:

• Somebody Somewhere - TV show on HBO

• The Secret - book by Rhonda Byrne

  
  

  TIMECODES
  0:00 Intro
  0:31 - Our fundamentalist private Christian school woes
  13:50 - About the last two weeks…
  15:34 - Let’s talk about manifestation
  20:05 - Getting out in the world
  28:27 - Manifestation: where do I start?
  33:12 - “It’s scary to want.”
  35:17 - Contentment vs. satisfaction
  39:12 - Next steps
  

  Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

  • 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

  • 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

  • 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

  • 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

  • 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24

Ever feel like the world is on fire, your creative energy is on life support, and the certainty you once clung to—faith, government, the idea that adults know what they’re doing—was all an illusion?

Yeah, us too.

This week, we’re getting real about the existential free-fall of realizing certainty was never actually real, the shame spiral that comes with feeling too much, and the struggle to carve out small pockets of joy without guilt. Along the way, we unpack the absurdity of self-directed cruelty (love yourself, you asshole), the tension between being informed and completely overwhelmed, and why questioning everything doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re alive. Buckle up for brutal honesty, questionable metaphors, and maybe, just maybe, a little hope.

References:

• “Thinking Out Loud” - song by Ed Sheeran

  
  

TIMECODES
0:00 Intro
0:33 - We’re the fun ones. So why don’t I feel fun?
5:23 - Invalidating our own painful feelings/feeling shame for feelings
12:16 - Fundamentalist upbringing contributing to feeling shame for feelings
13:087 - Uncertainty vs. uncertainty
22:34 - Finding balance between wallowing and purposefully ignorant
24:52 - “Love yourself, asshole!”
26:18 - Access to information is a double-edged sword

Check out our episodes about spiritual deconstruction/fundamentalism:

• 21: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 1 02.09.24

• 22: How Fundamentalism STILL Affects How We Create PART 2 02.16.24

• 59: Fundamentalism, Mental Health, and Creativity 11.15.24

• 64: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 1 12.20.24

• 65: Panic, Prayer, and Prozac: Our Mental Health Adventures! Part 2 12.27.24