"We won't cover your treatment, but we'll cover your death."

"That is what happens when you get government healthcare. You are now enrolled in the HMO from hell."

"Anybody who signs an order to do it against the will of the patient should be convicted of first-degree murder."

Hannah Wallen, Lauren Brooks and Mike Stevenson on Canada's assisted dying regime — patients offered death before anyone has worked out what's wrong with them — and Alberta's proposed bill barring clinicians from raising it first.

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"We cannot condemn the Muslim community. Fair enough. But we can condemn white men for the actions of this Islamist man."

"The most dangerous place for a woman is her own home. The home is very dangerous for women — it's just not the man in the home that's dangerous. It's the tub."

"A lot of what's coming out of the psychology of men and masculinities sounds more like conversion therapy than anything else. The only way a man can find peace is by renouncing his masculinity and declaring his sinful nature — and he'll never find peace, he'll just have to keep renouncing it over and over."

Two targets this week. First, an Islamist drove a van into the Berlin Pride parade, and Alison and Brian trace one commentator's route from that attack to white men being responsible, and from there to men in general.

Then: Janice Fiamengo sat down with relationship therapist Laura How to explain why she stopped believing feminism was what feminists said it was. A YouTuber calling herself Feminist Cat Lady Spinster made a video attacking her for it — feminism is really about equality, it doesn't dictate how anyone should live, masculinity isn't linked to mental illness — and Alison goes through it claim by claim, including the screenshot arguing a woman's most dangerous place is her own home.

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"Selective Service is stage one of the draft. It's the shopping list. Stage two is when they start calling people up. Stage three is when they send you to war. That's the consumption stage."

"I'm not going to shoot you right now, I'm just aiming the gun. That's just not good enough."

"When a girl plays with Batman, Batman becomes the girl. He sits down at the tea party and politely eats cake."

"You can't unslop slop."

Brian, Hannah Wallen and Dr Randomercam on the Selective Service System going automated — pulling names straight from federal databases — and why a draft register nobody has to fill in is a shopping list nobody consented to being on.

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"Nobody's going to genuinely cheer for the Stalin cameo. And nobody wants a movie that's 100% Stalin cameos. That's what this is."

"How can you possibly complain that men found her repulsive if the point was to create a repulsive character?"

"Someone should write a romance book between a radfem and an MRA. You'd make millions."
"Isn't that basically just The Taming of the Shrew?"

Brian and Alison read a Medium piece blaming men for Supergirl's box office, and take it apart between deaths in REPO. Alison's answer: the writer hasn't read Campbell, the thing she claims men withheld from women isn't in the myth at all — and the women it was aimed at didn't turn up either.

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"Men don't need their full set of organs. What kind of entitlement is that — aren't you recovering from your loss of privilege? Do you deserve two kidneys?"

"They could have enriched themselves with their leisure. They could have done what the men in Athens did and created a whole new basis of philosophical thought. Instead they turned to the men giving them that leisure and called them their oppressors."

"Large language models take the output of academics and bureaucrats and recombine it stochastically to produce the output of academics and bureaucrats. You can't make a welder out of that. You can't make a lumberjack out of that."

Brian and Alison on whether sexbots and artificial wombs are the escape hatch anyone thinks they are. Alison's argument is that the women the fertility papers describe aren't behaving like women who want babies and lack resources — if they were, they'd be campaigning for the baby bonuses these authors keep proposing, and they aren't. Also: whether Islam is the most feminist religion, what the ex-Soviet bloc's fertility collapse actually tracked, and the surgeon riddle that AI still can't answer when you reverse the genders.

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"Marx says work is the site of oppression, and radical feminists say the person who doesn't work but gains the benefit of the wage earner is the one who's oppressed. So is earning a wage oppression, or is not earning a wage oppression?"

"You're dealing with an economy that has gone from being productive and selling things to selling Xerox copies of things — which doesn't require men."

"Everyone goes to college because it's time to go to college. Don't do that."

Brian and Alison on why men are leaving the workforce, and on a paper that measures it without ever asking the obvious question. The finding they land on: boys opt out by watching men as a class rather than their own fathers, the effect survives moving across state lines, and adult exposure does nothing at all — coefficients indistinguishable from zero. Alison's argument is that nobody studying this will look at the one variable that would explain it, which is men being recast from providers into oppressors.

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"For all the brouhaha about climate change, it looks like the most urgent problem is how much women hate men. Maybe we should look into how we could perhaps not teach women to hate men, and then men and women could be happy together — and we could put the robots to more pertinent tasks."

"You give your kid a phone, you have just given other people influence over your child. When Google started donating Chromebooks to schools, parents asked whether these things were going to track kids. Oh no, definitely not, we're going to totally respect their privacy. Five years later there was a lawsuit, because they didn't."

Brian is joined by Hannah Wallen and Dr Randomercam.

A robotics firm is putting a teaching robot called Sally into classrooms, and children will be able to download a portable version to take home for homework. The company was careful to state she shares no designs, blueprints or technology with its parent company, which makes sex dolls.

Also this week: a same-sex couple in Ontario are suing their surrogate for around $600,000 after she refused their request to abort at twenty-two weeks, when a scan showed a cleft lip and a minor heart defect. The panel's argument is that this is a strange hill to choose — if your case is that a child with a genetic deviation from the norm shouldn't be born, and your own parental rights rest on a genetic deviation from the norm, you may want to watch where you tread.

Plus Kier Starmer's resignation, Dua Lipa's banned books library, and why randomness brings us closer to God.

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"You get your own little mood board as a man. You get a mood board and that's your identity. You get a vibe. You don't get masculinity, because you have to renounce that."

"It is far more virtuous to virtue signal that you care about trans people than to make sure a city has electricity — even though you might never do anything for trans people at all."

"The guy keeping the lights on in my house is doing a lot more for people than this woman. Maybe he should be considered more moral. The guy who fixes the sewers is doing a hell of a lot more than any of the sociologists of men and masculinities."

Brian and Alison work through a Medium article instructing men that the route to freedom runs through renouncing masculinity, and play REPO between arguments.

Alison's counter is that the piece never describes masculinity at all — it describes allyship, and measures men entirely by signals that cost the signaller nothing. It also measures every man against exactly two reference points, Andrew Tate and Pedro Pascal, one of whom apparently functions as a magic spell: invoke the name, get the reaction.

Plus the moral circle problem — why the most virtuous possible object of concern is the one with no claim on you, and what that means for the men actually keeping the water running.

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"This is the weirdest alternative-universe Terminator Skynet fanfic yet."

Brian and Alison pick up the Cambridge fertility paper again, which is now proposing round-the-clock childcare complexes and co-housing to persuade urban women to reproduce without men.

Also: what two centuries of army load-carriage studies settled about the weight a man can carry indefinitely, why single mothers' fertility falls with every generation — it held up when there were uncles, granddads and brothers to lean on, and doesn't in a man desert — and how liberalising employment law in Korea took the family cartels down with it.

"We are a biparental species that engages in pair bonding. A male is what the female is supposed to want. The end. Astoundingly controversial to say here, but this is just first principles."

"Nobody at Cambridge sat down with these people and said hold up, wait a second. Nobody even thought this might affect Cambridge's reputation. That's where we are — maybe we shouldn't advocate enslaving half the human race. No, slavery is back in style."

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"There's not a pause button on disability. You don't become less disabled because the government decides they want to take austerity measures."

The title is the opening line of the M*A*S*H theme. The song's actual name is "Suicide Is Painless."

Hannah Wallen hosts with Lauren Brooks, Mike Stevenson, Richard the Lionhearted and Brian, on the UK assisted dying bill arriving in the same year as cuts to PIP and disability support.

Also: what happens when a painkiller you've taken for thirty years is withdrawn and nothing replaces it, why pensioners and the disabled end up fighting each other over one budget line, the supply chain that decides whether your medication exists this month, what a newspaper headline about people with learning disabilities not reaching sixty-five actually measured, and the windowless vans that used to pull up outside German homes to collect a disabled relative.

"We're living under a tyranny of bastards who tell us they have the technology to detect whether we're using a fan or a television."

"Once you come to terms with what you've done, then what you've done is the worst thing that can ever be done. So you just have to keep inventing this forever to stop yourself getting there."

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