"She's saying hey men, why don't you approach — while she slaps a baseball bat into the palm of her hand. Come on guys, approach, I won't use my mace on your skull. And she doesn't understand why it's not working."

Brian and Alison read an article where the author tells men to start asking women out at work again.

She wants the approach to happen but she doesn't want to dismantle the risks men run in approaching. She thinks MeToo was a good thing!

Also: what happens to the framing when it's female prison guards and male inmates, why anonymous workplace confessionals always stop at the worst example, the copier-room story that turns out to be an awkward conversation, and the enormous unrecognised labour men were already doing to make any of this happen — Barack Obama included.

"Women who are rejected are wounded. Men who are rejected are dangerous."

"Men can't do enough to free them from the horrors of freedom. Even kidnapping them is insufficient. They'll have to put them in a jar as a brain or something."

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"He drove three hundred miles in four hours to a politician's home, clubbed her to death, and drove straight home. And that's definitely not politically motivated terrorism."

Brian, Hannah Wallen and Dr Randomercam on the killing of Ann Widdecombe, and a police account that stopped being non-political shortly after insisting it was.

Also: a school that removed a boy over an assault allegation without contacting his parents or investigating, later conceded there was no evidence, and is now being sued by his family after his death. Plus the Taco Bell parasite, and why the men women say they want are the ones walking away.

"What worries me most about the thunderstorm of Boomer deaths isn't the bereavements. It's Toy Story six and seven — when all the children are dead, what are the toys for?"

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"The one thing women don't want is for men to ask what they want. Implicit in asking is that you don't know her — which is offensive, because you should."

"Women want all men to give them the super stimulus of a sociopath but still have the custodial nature underneath. Which is impossible."

Brian and Alison read an article listing what women really want from men, and play REPO between rounds of it.

The author has chutzpah: she wrote a piece declaring a man pursuing a woman is harassment by definition — and a book called My Dear Stalker. Which is exactly what it says on the tin.

Also: how you would obtain consent to approach someone before approaching them, why the list forecloses on any man with a heartbeat who isn't a vampire werewolf billionaire, and the return of "look in the mirror and ask if you're actually the good guy."

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"We call it the left, but mental sterilization is a better term, considering the outcome."

"It's the anti-masculinity party versus the everything-else party. If you're a feminine woman who likes a masculine man, you're in the black category too."

Brian and Alison on a study finding that right-leaning people now out-reproduce left-leaning ones, using a tool borrowed from evolutionary biology to measure it. For people born in the early 1900s, political orientation barely predicted family size at all.

The researcher treats it as selection. Alison's objection is that nothing is being inherited — it's spreading culturally, which is worse, because there's no ceiling on it.

Also: what happened to atheism when it decided religion was bad for women, and the masculine norms inventory beloved of development bankers, on which men flatly reject two of the five and mildly endorse two more — mildly, on a scale running from "I don't give a fuck" to "eh, maybe."

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"A profile is a document a person built on purpose. Every photo, every word, and the obvious things they choose to leave out are information."

"You basically have to be a Christian in name only for her to count you as one. Kill your babies, trans your kids, all about the Pride flag — that's not quite right, is it."

Brian and Alison read a guide teaching women how to detect a covertly conservative man from his dating profile, and a second piece by a man coaching other men on how to pass the test.

Also: the fleet of invisible conservative men she thinks secretly want her, why "conservative" here means nothing more specific than "man," the tell she can't say out loud — taller, stronger, greater risk tolerance — and what she is actually selecting for once you take out everyone who protects and provides.

"She's cultivating these young women as a sexual resource for the worst type of men in society. The ones who built the financial fatberg, so they can feed on it."

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"Remember the Sims, the most popular game in the world in the two thousands? This is the Sims. This is the fucking Sims."

Brian and Hannah Wallen on a clip from the Louis Theroux podcast in which Johnny Depp describes a suspicion he had about Amber Heard during the divorce.

Also: the opening of the Tyler Robinson case, why the legacy media outlets complaining about YouTube's algorithm have been sitting on the homepage the whole time, and Woman Simulator — a game about ironing socks and not leaving the house, complete with an ankle monitor, which appears to exist mainly so it can be sent to a friend as a joke.

"I've sillied myself into a corner. Someone else talk."

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"What are you, pro sex trafficking? No. I'm against terrible movies."

Brian and Alison read a piece blaming men for Supergirl's box office, when it was women who didn't show up, while playing REPO with Gabriel.

Also: why the sex-trafficking subplot exists at all, the writer's one prior credit, whether Tim Poole is really the Grand Poobah of the manosphere, and how the entry requirement for manosphere membership has collapsed to having an opinion while wearing a penis.

"When a movie is targeted at women, it's men's obligation to make it successful."

"This movie was written by a woman, and it plays like it."

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"So you're a solipsist. Nothing exists outside your mind. Fine — stop hitting yourself, then."

Brian and Alison are joined by TL;DR for a play by Rachel Cusk in which Medea kills her children because Jason left, and the audience is invited to applaud her.

Also: the masculine norms inventory that scores how closely a man resembles Snidely Whiplash, and the Treasury money spent asking Ethiopian men the same. The 94 percent custody figure that traces back to a 1989 Massachusetts study nobody can produce. Warhammer 40K lore. And what would happen to a man in the manosphere who was as misogynist as the ambient feminist is misandrist.

"In twenty years I have never heard anyone in the manosphere say you should take men who kill their families and turn them into role models. That's what she's doing."

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"My parents have been enthusiastic about this ever since they found out about it. Oh, that would be nice. And I'm like — okay, guys, just don't let them convince you to die."

Hannah Wallen hosts on the assisted dying bill for England and Wales, passing its Commons vote while the article they're reading is a year old and describes exactly what happens next.

Also: what "a vote for the status quo" is really a vote for, why the same MPs who won't allow the state to execute a mass murderer will allow it for a grandmother with a brain tumour, what Canada and Australia are being used to test, and the suicide statistic that changes completely depending on whether you count attempts or deaths.

"The health service is run by machines that hate us and want us dead. The machines are run by people, so it's hard to describe. But it is a machine, and the cogs of it are civil servants."

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"We stop poisoning the relationship between men and women, and see if it grows back a bit."

Brian and Alison read a Medium piece on "precarious manhood" — the conjecture that masculinity is a status men must continually re-earn, so men should renounce their masculinity instead — and trace the conjecture back to the Psychology of Men and Masculinities field, the field that informs the American Psychological Association's guidelines on how to treat men and boys.

Also: the article's freak-show tour of male influencers and the female specimens it declines to compare them to, the optimization treadmill with no finish line, and what happens to the dating pool when heterosexuality itself is defined as oppression.

"People so convinced men are evil that they have a freaking scale of how evil are you. And when men say, actually, I don't like any of these things on your scale, they don't conclude the scale isn't describing men. They just do a whole bunch of chicanery to pretend it is."

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