Hope Pieced Together

We know that the number of teen suicides is rapidly increasing and that children present with symptoms of depression and other mental health issues from a younger age than ever before, creating a growing need for mental health support in the emergency rooms of psychiatric hospitals. Today we have a conversation with Jeremy Sprott who is one of our board members and the owner of a company called Mental Health Solutions where he and his team offer these much-needed mental health services by responding to and assisting patients who have attempted suicide or self-harm. Whether the patient has cut themselves, overdosed, or threatened to commit suicide, these situations are extremely hard for parents who often feel guilty for not noticing the warning signs. In this episode, Jeremy talks to listeners about the trends in child and adolescent mental health, advising families on when someone needs to be brought in, what they can expect from the ER procedure, who decides on the facility, and what they have to keep in mind about the reviews that many of these places have. But, as with all other things, prevention is better than cure, and in this light, Jeremy talks to parents about spending quality time with their kids and creating a space in which they can safely share what they are going through without feeling like they are a burden on their parents. Joining in, listeners will also hear about the tricky balance between having resilience and keeping quiet about struggles, the value of preventative therapy, what kids need most from their parents, and why we need something more than anti-bully campaigns. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• Jeremy talks about his background in Christian youth ministry and counseling. 
• What it is like to be part of a team that responds to crisis calls in psych hospitals.  
• Starting his company after recognizing a need in the emergency rooms in the Houston area.
• The observable trends in the kids and adolescents coming in for psychiatric services. 
• When families need to call 911 or consider bringing someone in for a mental health need.   
• Jeremy walks us through the procedure once a patient arrives at the emergency room. 
• Hear what goes on behind the scenes while families are waiting for feedback in the ER lobby.
• The role-players who participate in the conversation about which facility a patient will go to. 
• Why reviews about psych facilities are not always reliable sources of information. 
• Common circumstances that result in adolescents needing mental health support.  
• Encouragement to parents who blame themselves for not having seen the red flags.
• The importance of spending quality time with your kids and why they often avoid sharing. 
• Understanding that, while resilience is important, it is okay to admit when you are struggling. 
• Viewing therapy as a means of preparing kids and teens for whatever life brings.  
• Jeremy talks about the misconception that a person of faith should not need counseling. 
• What kids need most from their parents when they are going through a difficult time.  
• Why you should be real in the process instead of pretending that things aren’t messy. 
• Bully-proofing our children instead of trying to get rid of all the bullies we encounter in life. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Jeremy Sprott on LinkedIn

Jeremy Sprott on Twitter

Mental Health Solutions

Mosaics of Mercy

Sherry Burkhard

In life, we often have moments that we say define us. Moments that stick out, clear as day — moments that shift the trajectory of our lives. We often refer to those as our turning points. That time in our lives where a shift happened as our life takes on the newly established trajectory. In this episode, we are so fortunate to hear a real-life story of what the journey through recovery looks like from two different perspectives. Today we are excited to host two international guests joining us on our podcast. We welcome Naetha and Calliese, who are currently in the UK and joining us via the world wide web. Together we talk about the journeys both Naetha and Calliese have been on — one part of this story is being the person amid a personal battle and the other part of the story is being a mom witnessing the struggle. Naetha and Calliese share their own unique experiences as they traveled through their recovery journeys, they share resources they used during the process, hurdles, treatments, and powerful moments they recall from this time. Stay tuned as we dive into this inspiring turning point story of a mother and daughter as they share about their experience. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• Naetha and Calliese tell us about their backgrounds.
• Calliese shares about her personal battle with substance abuse, mental health, toxic relationships, and more.
• Naetha shares with us the struggle of watching and witnessing this journey as the mother.
• Calliese talks about the event that set her recovery path in motion: The Turning Point.
• How Naetha and her husband made critical decisions to try and restore their family.
• How a mother watched her daughter make decisions that could lead to her death.
• Naetha and Calliese share the key resources they used during this journey.
• The importance of timing and the role it plays in the process — Who to call and when.
• The hurdles Calliese went through: Tacos and treatment.
• The transition period Calliese experienced during her treatment: “I don’t have a problem.”
• The powerful message of how God orchestrated the recovery plan behind the scenes.
• They share powerful moments they recall that stand out in their journey. 
• Calliese shares where she finds herself now — at this point in her recovery journey. 
• Naetha also talks about how things are different today versus a year ago.
• How you cannot put a time stamp on recovery because it is always on-going. 
• Calliese and Naetha share takeaways they want the listeners to walk away with: Hope and connection.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Al-Anon

Mosaics of Mercy

Sherry Burkhard

While individual therapy can be immensely helpful, family therapy takes into consideration the important role our family plays in who we are and even the struggles we have. Our guest today, Christie Farris, is a dual-licensed LPC (licensed professional counselor) and LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist) who advocates for a systems approach to individual and family problems. Our parents and family are meant to function as our secure base from which we get our primary source of support, so when these relationships are strained, people can suffer trauma and experience a range of attachment and trust issues. Therefore, working with the family as a whole can shed valuable light on the patterns and coping mechanisms that perpetuate dysfunctional dynamics and prevent members from enjoying healthy relationships. In this episode, Christie shares when (and when not) family counseling is likely to be beneficial, what a typical session looks like, how to deal with a family member’s refusal to participate, and why parents should never feel as though therapy means that they have somehow failed. In fact, most families can probably benefit from therapy, so tune in for this episode to learn more about it! 

Key Points From This Episode:

• Christie’s background as a high school teacher and discovering her passion for counseling.
• Going back to grad school for her Master’s and getting licensed as an LPC and an LMFT.
• The value of working in a variety of settings and the areas that she specializes in.   
• The differences and similarities between the work of an LPC and an LMFT. 
• Hear how the mental health struggles of one family member can impact the whole.
• Why our parents and family play such an important role in how we view all our relationships. 
• When family counseling is beneficial versus when other processes need to happen first. 
• The cost of failing to get help and how therapy is becoming more accessible. 
• Learn what a family counseling session looks like and why everyone has to feel supported. 
• The importance of stating that there is no such thing as finding the ‘bad guy’ in therapy. 
• The tendency for patterns and coping mechanisms to develop in families. 
• Striking the balance between focusing on the family versus individuals within the family. 
• The false belief that if we, as parents, check certain boxes that our children will turn out ‘good’. 
• Encouragement to parents who fear that therapy means they’ve done something wrong. 
• Dealing with scenarios where someone in the family refuses to go to therapy. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Christie Farris

The Dance of Anger 

The Essentials of Family Therapy 

Sherry Burkhard

Mosaics of Mercy

We are thrilled to have Dena and Tom Yohe, the authors of Hope for Hurting Parents, join us today. The book comprises a curriculum for support groups and is a resource that we, at Mosaics of Mercy, have used, and today we talk to them about their background and how they came to write this book. But before the book, Dena and Tom started a support group for parents whose children suffer from addiction and mental health issues and recognized a need for a group that is faith-oriented. While they benefited greatly from joining an Al-Anon support group, they realized that they wanted to create a space for specifically Christian parents to find encouragement and where the focus is on them and not their troubled kids. In this episode, the pair talks about their goal with the Hope for Hurting Parents community and groups, how the sessions are structured, and whether non-Christian parents will benefit from attending. We talk about the importance of mothers and fathers staying on the same page, coming to sessions together, overcoming the fears around vulnerability and sharing, and the numerous benefits to joining a support group. Dena and Tom also share the many other resources they have and some encouraging stories of restoring hope to parents. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• Our guests talk about their background in pastoral ministry and their involvement in Cru. 
• Hear about Dena’s and Tom’s children and the journey of starting Hope for Hurting Parents. 
• Their goal of helping parents to not only survive but thrive amid challenging circumstances. 
• Who the Hope for Hurting Parents groups are for and why they choose to be specific about it. 
• Find out how the groups are structured and how they facilitate engagement and feedback. 
• Two aspects they stress in the groups: confidentiality and not offering unsolicited advice. 
• Some insights on whether the group is suitable for someone who is not a Christian.
• Fears people might have about coming to the group and how they approach reluctant fathers.
• Overcoming the obstacle of men who are uncomfortable with vulnerability and sharing emotions.  
• Becoming aware that working your own program is the best thing you can do as a parent. 
• The benefits of being part of these groups, including feeling understood and finding hope. 
• Learn about the many other resources Dena and Tom have to support hurting parents. 
• Stories about parents who are transformed even when there is no improvement on the part of their children. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Dena Yohe on Twitter

Tom Yohe on Twitter

Hope for Hurting Parents 

You Are Not Alone 

Hope for Hurting Parents (Organization)

Hope for Hurting Parents on Facebook

Dena Yohe YouTube Channel

Cru

Al-Anon

The Other Side of Sadness 

Sherry Burkhard

Mosaics of Mercy

When personal struggles are overcome and leveraged for the benefit of others, it is a true victory and blessing. Joining us on the show today is Olympic gymnast Maria Ines Flores who trained at the well-known Bela Karolyi Gym alongside the likes of Mary Lou Retton back when she was a young girl at the peak of her athletic career. The conversation starts with Maria telling listeners about her life as a gymnast, highlighting her natural aptitude for sports and how her family and loved ones supported her and compromised a great deal for the sake of her promising athletic career. She talks about the strenuous training that, in retrospect, might have hampered her performance at the Olympics and when she finally decided to hang up her leotard for good. But that was the beginning of a difficult time for Maria who then struggled to fill the void that giving up gymnastics left, and how she battled to find her way forward without the passion that consumed more than six hours each day. But, years later, when her gymnast daughter also decided to quit the sport, it was as if she relived the same trauma and knew that she needed to get help to recover from the deep sense of loss that had laid dormant for a long time. After getting help from a neuro-linguistic therapist, she was finally free and able to say goodbye to gymnastics for good. Today, she helps other athletes overcome the same challenges she had, sharing her wisdom around competition, sacrifice, nutrition, balance, and more with people of all ages.   

Key Points From This Episode:

• Get some background information about our guest and how she got started in gymnastics. 
• Hear about Maria’s sport-intensive schooldays and moving around to get the best coaching. 
• The incredible support Maria was getting from her parents, grandparents, coaches, and more. 
• Maria talks about the other sporty members of her family and her competitive children. 
• The importance of enjoying the sport and maintaining a healthy perspective on competition. 
• How training too hard for the Olympics jeopardized Maria’s performance as an athlete.  
• Maria reflects on the sacrifices her family had to make for the sake of her athletic aspirations. 
• Why it is so important for athletes to find another hobby or interest other than their sport. 
• The difficult transition from intensive training to quitting and not knowing how to fill the void. 
• Maria shares how neuro-linguistic therapy helped her to grieve and let go of gymnastics. 
• How her body and relationship with food changed from her training days to after she quit. 
• Striking the balance between being over-restrictive and in control and completely letting go. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Maria Ines Flores on LinkedIn 

Let’s Be Fit Today on Facebook

Let’s Be Fit Today on Instagram 

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood 

Mary Lou Retton

Simone Biles on Twitter

Institute for Integrative Nutrition 

Christy Henrich Story 

Sherry Burkhard

Mosaics of Mercy

Today we are fortunate to have one of the co-founders of Mosaics of Mercy, Paige Butler, join us. While she holds the official title of Director of Operations, she, like many of us, wears many hats in the organization. In this episode, we talk about her title at home and how she has tied it into one of our programs. She is raising her four-year-old grandson who has been in their home since birth, and while she is delighted to be fulfilling the role of parent, it comes with its own challenges. There are so many reasons why grandparents step in to take care of grandkids, whether it is because their children are in jail or battling with substance abuse, or because the parents are unable to take care of them or have passed away. Some grandparents help out temporarily, some are in it for the long haul, and others even formally foster or adopt their grandchildren. Either way, this is a journey that requires a ton of support. Tune in for this episode to learn what you can expect from a support group and how you can get started with such a community! 

Key Points From This Episode:

• Paige’s story and how it has helped her to create a much-needed support group. 
• Get a sense of the kind of situations the members of the group find themselves in. 
• The importance of understanding the many reasons why grandparents end up in this role. 
• Find out what the structure of the Grandmothers Raising Grandchildren support group is like. 
• Hear about the unique experiences that the group focuses on and provides support for. 
• Paige’s lunch and learn events that cover the legal aspects of raising a grandchild.
• Hear about their library of resources for grandparents and their program for children. 
• Paige explains why family tree exercises can be a traumatic school experience. 
• Overcoming the obstacles involved in grandparents having other grandkids to pay attention to. 
• The importance of taking care of yourself first before trying to take care of your grandchild. 
• The role that being part of a supportive community has played in Paige’s journey. 
• Advice for starting a group and finding hope and joy in the challenging circumstances. 

Tweetables:

“With some grandparents, it has been a mutual decision with their children and that was in our case as well. Some grandparents, and that is true in my group, have children in jail, so they are not sure if it is a short-term or a long-term commitment. Some know it is long-term. Some have come to this due to mental health issues with their children; some due to substance abuse, and I will say that is the most common scenario.” — Paige Butler [0:02:53]

“We are not just a group that talks about sad things, we are a group that celebrates victories in our grandchildren and our children and we laugh and smile a lot.” — Paige Butler [0:05:57]

“If any teachers or principals or administrators are listening to me, the family tree exercise causes trauma for our kids. We often have to seek therapy for our kids because of a simple exercise in the classroom that is supposed to be joyful and fun.” — Paige Butler [0:14:45]

“When we are grandparents raising grandchildren, we are parents. We are not getting to spoil; you don’t get dessert before dinner at our house – we are more the traditional parent.” — Paige Butler [0:18:16]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Paige Butler

The Grandfamily Guidebook

Mosaics of Mercy

Being bullied can be a traumatic event and may potentially lead to mental health struggles. Joining us today is to talk about this issue is Merrissa Hughes, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Licensed School Counselor, and a former teacher. Combining her classroom experience with her counseling training, Rissa has a deep understanding of the impacts of bullying. This in this episode, we define bullying and explore the different forms it can take. Rather than being a once-off occurrence, bullying is unwanted aggressive behavior with a real or perceived power imbalance. We also hear about some of the effects that being bullied can have. From depression to anxiety to withdrawal, Rissa alerts us to signs to look out for if we suspect a child is being bullied. As parents or teachers, it’s natural to want to intervene in these situations, but in most instances, this is not recommended. A child or teenager who is being bullied has been disempowered, so they must be re-empowered, once again, through gaining their own coping mechanisms. Rather than being told how to deal with the bully, Rissa suggests that parents and counselors help children find ways that resonate with them. Along with this, we also cover other ways parents can be there for their bullied children, the importance of stepping back at the right time, and Rissa’s own story of hope. Be sure to tune in today!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Hear more about Rissa’s background and her journey to becoming an LPC.
• The incredible story of how Rissa met Brené Brown at a nail salon.
• Differentiating between meanness, rudeness, and bullying.
• Types of bullying including verbal, social, and physical and their characteristic features.
• Common mental health effects Rissa sees in children who have been bullied.
• The importance of being proactive with children’s mental health rather than dismissing it.
• How EMDR can be used to work through the trauma of being bullied.
• If you suspect a child is being bullied, connect with them, and let them know you are there.
• Rissa’s approach to reframing the cognitive distortions that occur as a result of bullying.
• How Rissa empowers her clients to find coping mechanisms that resonate with them.
• Even though it’s difficult, parents must give their children room to figure things out.
• Signs parents should look out for to know when to bring in professional help
• When parents or counselors should intervene and contact the school.
• The role parents play in their children's healing journey.
• Rissa’s tips for when a parent is the one instigating the bullying.
• How to deal with bullying in a church setting, which is supposed to be a safe space.
• More tips from Rissa on how parents can be there for their children who are being bullied.
• A final story of hope from where Rissa shares her own story of being bullied.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Merrissa Hughes

Brené Brown

Dare to Lead

Texas A&M University

The Call to Courage

Is It Rude, Is It Mean, Or Is It Bullying?

EMDR Institute

The Gottman Method

Mosaics of Mercy

Today on the podcast we continue with our theme for May, hope to cope, and it coincides perfectly with mental health awareness month. People have shared their stories about hope and how they take care of their mental health on our social media and the podcast, and today Sherry’s son Clay joins the conversation. As a teenage boy, Clay experienced paralyzing depression and anxiety after he had to give up swimming following an injury. Not relating much to his peers at school, his sense of isolation escalated and soon turned into negative self-talk, which made him increasingly depressed. But he didn’t initially think he needed help as he believed that his mental and emotional state was just part of who he was, keeping him quiet about the turmoil inside. Eventually, he reached out for help and started on the journey to healing, which included choosing carefully who he shared with, spending less time on social media, and exploring the activities he loved doing like reading, writing, and playing music. Clay talks about how his experiences have allowed him to help others who are facing similar challenges, how therapy did and did not help him, why you shouldn’t accept depression and anxiety, and more. 

Key Points From This Episode:

•    Hear about the article Clay wrote for The Mighty and his experiences leading up to it. 

•    The discomfort he used to feel in social situations and being labeled as “shy”. 

•    How perfectionism and being too hard on himself was one of the main stressors. 

•    The incident that gave way to his isolation, negative self-talk, and eventually self-hatred.

•    Why he didn’t initially share what he was going through and when he realized he needed help. 

•    The importance of being careful to find the right people to share your story with. 

•    The fear of therapy and hearing someone else confirm that you’re not okay.  

•    Find out what Clay’s process of surrender was like and when he became receptive to help. 

•    Understanding that people relate differently to different approaches to therapy. 

•    Maintaining a healthy relationship with social media and knowing when to quit. 

•    Exploring the things you enjoy doing and overcoming the fear of not being good at them. 

•    How Clay’s experiences give him a unique opportunity to help others with similar struggles.  

Tweetables:

 “I think the biggest stressor for me personally—and it’s been this way for a long time—is that I’m extremely hard on myself; an extreme perfectionist. But then I can also check out from being a perfectionist but I don’t necessarily stop beating up myself so I do things poorly but I just get even angrier at myself for doing things poorly.” — Clay Burkhard [0:06:07]

“My biggest concern was just being afraid of realizing that I was not okay because I knew that but to have other people tell me that is a whole other thing.” — Clay Burkhard [0:16:50]

“I’m very happy with where I am now and the experiences I had because I feel like they give me a unique opportunity to relate to other people and see the world in a different light that I probably wouldn’t have seen before.” — Clay Burkhard [0:28:53] 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

The Mighty

“When Depression Looks Like Shyness”

Mosaics of Mercy 

Sherry Burkhard on LinkedIn

Sometimes you heal from it, and sometimes you heal through it. It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and our theme this month is Hope to Cope. We know that it can be difficult at times – when we’re going through different struggles – to find hope, to know exactly how to walk in the midst of that, and how to cope. This month, we’re bringing in guests to share their personal stories of hope with you, because often we share knowledge through something that we’ve walked through ourselves, rather than from a professional place. Today’s guest is Emily Mowry, a PTSD survivor, science teacher, and Interact, sponsor. She shares with us her background and how she got into teaching, as well as some personal stories about the trauma that she has experienced and how she learned to cope with it. Emily wants us to know that diagnosis isn’t a linear process and that, sometimes, privilege can mask certain symptoms of mental illness. We also discuss healthy coping mechanisms and finding safe spaces to share when experiencing trauma, as well as the importance of scheduling joyful activities. Finally, Emily shares a source of hope that helps her to keep fighting in her journey towards healing. Tune in to find out more!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Emily tells listeners about herself and her background.
• The difficulty of diagnosing mental illness and defining trauma.
• Experiencing trauma versus having PTSD.
• Emily relates her personal experiences with depression and anxiety.
• Diagnosis isn’t a linear process.
• Privilege allows someone to mask symptoms of mental illness.
• Shame and how it can prevent someone from reaching out for help.
• Healthy coping mechanisms and finding safe spaces to share when experiencing trauma.
• Fear, sadness, and anger should be felt, named, and expressed.
• The importance of scheduling joyful activities.
• Shifting the narrative from victim to survivor.
• A source of hope from Emily.

Tweetables:

“The experience of trauma is a part of the human condition” — Emily Mowry  [0:11:48]

“In going on this journey with being diagnosed with a mental illness, you have to take things with a grain of salt, and learn to be a little creative in your own thinking” — Emily Mowry  [0:20:54]

“Find your safe spot to be vulnerable… find a community to walk and grow with you… find a way to learn how to feel again” — Emily Mowry  [0:39:26]

“My source of hope is: you can keep fighting because you already are a fighter” — Emily Mowry  [0:56:09]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

What Color is Your Parachute?

The Price of Privilege

Safe People

iGrok App

Mosaics of Mercy Resources

Today listeners can look forward to an insightful interview with Lona Snell who is a Christian counselor in the community. Lona has her own practice where she and other counselors work with first responders and their families, focusing on the interaction between their work and home lives. In the past few months since the outbreak of COVID-19, first responders have been in the crossfire, risking their own safety and lives to help others. Dealing with life and death situations daily, these people experience perpetual trauma, which inevitably affects their wellbeing in the long run and frequently results in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If the trauma remains unresolved, these people may battle with anger, addiction, substance abuse, and a host of other issues, therefore behaving very differently in public than at home — the worst of which affects spouses and children. In this episode, Lana advises on how each of us can become better at supporting first responders, being sensitive listeners and equipping spouses and children to correctly interpret the sometimes unpredictable behavior. She also discusses the importance of self-care, effective communication within families, counterbalancing trauma, and the role that others can play in a person’s journey to healing. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• An overview of Lona’s interests and focus areas in her counseling practice. 
• Those who are considered first responders: firefighters, dispatchers, funeral directors, etc. 
• Find out what all Lona’s credentials mean, from CART to CCTP and EMDR.
• The main issues that the first responder population tends to face and how they self-medicate. 
• The disconnect between the public and private life of the first responder.  
• How these workers often accumulate “compound” trauma and the symptoms of PTSD. 
• Hear what happens when trauma remains unresolved or is constantly suppressed.
• The importance of knowing how to respond appropriately when someone opens up to you.
• Understanding that vulnerability is strength and the place where powerful change happens. 
• Children’s inaccurate interpretation of disengaged first responder parents. 
• The many faces of compassion fatigue: insomnia, depression, excessive sarcasm.    
• Teaching kids how they can respond to and support their parents at home. 
• Advice about the appropriate amount of sharing with kids and how to model self-care. 
• Counterbalancing work-related trauma by surrounding yourself with uplifting things. 
• Approaching faith in counseling and the role people play in demonstrating the love of God. 
• An encouraging story about a first responder giving back after finding healing for himself. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Lona Snell 

Lona Snell on LinkedIn

HIPAA

Brené Brown

Mosaics of Mercy 

Sherry Burkhard on LinkedIn