Hope Pieced Together

Anxiety is something that most of us can relate to at the moment. The uncertainties surrounding the global pandemic are affecting all of us in some way, and worries about health, safety, livelihoods, and finances are intensified by the constant influx of news and shifting circumstances. Joining us today is a local counselor, Carolyn Robistow, to share with us about navigating anxiety and tapping into our resilience as human beings. While we may be confronted with a new level of uncertainty, it is helpful to remember that all of us have successfully overcome significant challenges, including being uncertain at times. In this episode, Carolyn gives listeners a few exercises for grounding themselves so that they are better equipped to cope with the situation, and while these activities do not exempt us from the discomfort, that can help to get us from worrying about the future to being focused on the present. Tuning in, listeners will also learn more about the different ways that anxiety can manifest, noticing your emotions, creating space for both positive and negative feelings, and extending grace to the people around you. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• The two main areas that Carolyn’s clientele are currently anxious about: health and finances. 
• Carolyn’s unique perspective working with over-functioning, high-achieving professionals. 
• The role of our amygdala in keeping us in a state of regulation and how it gets triggered. 
• The different ways that anxiety manifests in people who are not normally anxious. 
• Being aware of how you feel in your body and when you react in a dysregulated manner. 
• Allowing yourself to feel the waves of emotion from a grounded and resourced place. 
• Techniques for pulling yourself out of future worry and grounding yourself in the present. 
• How to hack the vagus nerve to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. 
• Keeping in mind that grounding exercises do not remove but simply alleviate anxiety.
• Recognizing your own resilience and that uncertainty is something we have all dealt with. 
• Realizing that positivity and gratitude do not exempt people from suffering.  
• The benefits of finding things to be grateful for and sharing them with someone else. 

Tweetables:

“The whole purpose that our brain has is to help us exist in a state of regulation and homeostasis. So, it wants us to be safe and protected and comfortable and happy.” — Carolyn Robistow [0:04:06]

“Feelings do come in waves, they don’t come and stay. They may be more intense than we want so we work to bring them into smaller, more tolerable waves but overall, they tend to be waves and are temporary.” — Carolyn Robistow [0:09:56]

“Anxiety is like getting lost in future worry. Grounding is meant to bring us into the here and now.” — Carolyn Robistow [0:13:34] 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Carolyn Robistow

The Joy Effect 

Mosaics of Mercy 

Sherry Burkhard on LinkedIn

Suicide carries such a stigma around it that people, including mental health professionals, feel afraid to bring it up, even when someone around them may be struggling with the issue in some way. As the number of suicides and suicide attempts continues to rise every year, it is increasingly important to break down these barriers and to engage in open conversations around the topic. Today’s guest, Whitcomb Terpening, a licensed social clinical worker, and suicide specialist, runs the only dedicated suicide practice in the US. In this episode, Whitcomb shares more about her journey and how it intersected with a professional passion for treating suicide. We talk about why it was important for her to establish a practice that was an alternative to in-patient hospitalization. Suicide is a spectrum and as such, there needs to be a variety of treatment options available. We also discuss how to spot suicidal thoughts in people, particularly amid this coronavirus crisis. Many of the usual signs are more difficult to notice, so it's necessary to be alert to certain behavior. Along with this, Whitcomb also illustrates the importance of just asking someone if they’re struggling with suicidal thoughts. People often believe that by mentioning it, they will put an idea in someone’s head, but this could not be further from the truth. Giving someone a safe place to talk is an incredibly comforting experience. We also talk about how the community at large can play its part in preventing suicide, the importance of reaching out, and some training resources that non-professionals can undergo to deal with the issue. Be sure to tune in today!

Key Points From This Episode:

•    Learn more about Whitcomb’s background, The Semicolon Group, and the practice.

•    Find out about the personal experience that led Whitcomb to work in suicide. 

•    Some of the statistics around suicide in the US that Whitcomb has written about.

•    Coronavirus crisis specific suicidal related signs to look out for and ways to reach out.

•    How to approach someone you feel may be suicidal and what to do next.

•    When the right time would be to call for additional professional help.

•    How to help people dealing with suicide-related grief during this time and resources to use.

•    Training people can do to equip themselves with skills around dealing with suicide issues.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode 

Whitcomb Terpening on LinkedIn 

The Semicolon Group

We tell suicidal people to go to therapy. So why are therapists rarely trained in suicide?

How to find a therapist if you’re suicidal

Our Silence is Killing Us

QPR Institute

Texas Suicide Prevention

Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training

CALM: Counseling on Access to Lethal Means

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Crisis Text Line

Joining us today is Kristin and Paul Abrahams to talk to listeners about marriage in stressful times. Right now, around the world, people are dealing with unprecedented stress, circumstances that take their toll on our mental health. With COVID-19 having many countries in lockdown, couples are facing a new repertoire of challenges. Kristin and Paul share some helpful resources to support marriages through this crisis, including books and devotional apps that help the whole family to reconnect with God, communicate better, and stay entertained. In addition to Kristin’s leading role in marriage ministries at Faith Bible Church, the couple also facilitates the re⎮engage marriage counseling program and talk to listeners about what it entails, the benefits of group counseling, and how they can get involved even if they are not a member of their church. In light of the global pandemic, they discuss the conflict that arises from suddenly being together 24/7, the shifting roles around the home, new work-related responsibilities, and dealing with the increasing anxieties surrounding the crisis. Getting on the same page as your spouse is hard enough as it is, but it is complicated even more when partners have different coping mechanisms. In this episode, we equip you with the information, tools, and communication strategies needed to keep your marriage strong during tough times and also encourage listeners with the hope that we always have in Christ. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• Kristin’s involvement with marriage counseling at Faith Bible Church. 
• Why Kristin and Paul are “qualified” to help other people overcome challenges in marriage. 
• Hear about the re⎮engage ministry, our guests’ involvement, and the structure of the course. 
• The benefits of accountability and vulnerability that emerge in the context of a group. 
• How group counseling offers the opportunity to learn from other couples’ experiences. 
• Examples of the issues that brought couples to the program before versus after the outbreak. 
• The stress of new and shifting roles that being restricted to the home has brought about.
• Navigating changing workloads, new responsibilities, and job insecurity. 
• The difficulty of getting on the same page when people have conflicting coping mechanisms. 
• A list of helpful tools for couples to employ during this trying period. 
• Why it is important to implement some form of structure and consistency in the home. 

Tweetables:

“One of the things that are really cool about re⎮engage too is that it is a discipleship program in that, yes, we are talking about our marriages every single week, and yet the real focus is on our intimacy with Jesus and how he transforms us.” — Paul Abrahams [0:04:44]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kristin Abrahams

Faith Bible Church 

Watermark Community Church 

re⎮engage

Brené Brown

Jesus Calling

How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong

Join The Journey

Brian Regan 

Whataburger

Love Nudge 

Zoom

In the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak, we are all constantly faced with the reactions of those around us. Lauren Hollis joins us today to talk about helpful ways of coping with external responses, as well as those within ourselves and our families. Lauren is a counselor in the Woodlands area and an LPC-certified child life specialist. As such she is very well positioned to give an informed perspective on what we are currently facing with the global pandemic. It is so important to understand our own responses and then to apply understanding to these and the ones we encounter. There are loads of great information and ideas in today's episode as we explore the implications of being housebound, homeschooling and other people's trigger points. Lauren argues that it is a great time to consciously allow ourselves and others more grace, even when it is tough! We talk about the array of reactions that we might witness in light of the coronavirus and how these can be tough to agree with.

The connection between motherhood and ADHD is often made through cases where children are diagnosed with the condition. But what about situations where a mother is struggling with some level of ADHD? Our guest today, Patricia Sung, has her own podcast that deals with that exact question! Motherhood in ADHD is her exploration of her journey, grappling with the difficulties of her ADHD and the beauty and glory of raising children. Patricia shares her story of a late diagnosis going into her college years and how difficult it was to manage initially. 

Almost twenty years later she has a much larger set of tools and strategies for managing but she tells us how becoming a mother threw another spanner in the works and posed a whole new set of challenges for her. She talks about how it is possible to flourish with ADHD and how your tools and planning can become your lighthouse in a stormy sea. We discuss the difficulty of separating ADHD from personality traits and how perfectionism is strongly linked to her awareness of her condition. Patricia wants to help mothers be the best they can be, even with the issues that stem from ADHD. For her it is all about reassurance and removing self-doubt, creating a sense of community and solace. The conversation also covers the shame spiral that can occur and ways that she has found to exit the cycle. For a beautiful, hopeful and honest discussion on something not often spoken about enough, tune in with us today.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Some background on Patricia and her podcast about mothers with ADHD. 
• Patricia's later diagnosed with ADHD and what happened when she arrived at college. 
• Common reactions to ADHD diagnoses and the spectrum of feelings that arise.
• Challenges to mothers with ADHD; Patricia's experiences since having kids 
• The importance of planning and what happens when something unforeseen arises. 
• Connections between perfectionism and ADHD and the development of over-carefulness.  
• The differences between each person's kind of ADHD; no one size fits all system for coping. 
• Getting help and the role of a counselor in managing the challenges of ADHD. 
• Patricia's experience of 'brain-spotting' and accessing uncomfortable feelings.   
• Feelings of guilt and shame around motherhood and hopelessness in the face of struggle.    
• Including your children in your life; keeping boundaries but showing up authentically.
• The recipe for great teams, culture, and communication; less judgment for voicing issues. 
• Patricia's message of hope, community and letting the light shine in safely.

Tweetables:

“When you have the right support with ADHD, you can flourish.” — Patricia Sung

 [0:09:11]

“Everyone's ADHD is different.” — Patricia Sung [0:21:25]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Mosaics of Mercy

Patricia Sung

Motherhood in ADHD

Brené Brown

Harry Potter

Burnout

C.S. Lewis

The Power of Habit

Smarter, Faster, Better

Charles Duhigg

On today’s show, we have Carolyn Robistow, a Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of Texas. Carolyn specializes specifically in helping those who struggle with stress and anxiety, perfection, infertility, ADHD and focus. Inside this episode, we talk about the importance of prioritization in our lives, Carlyon expands on a new brain-based therapy called Brain Spotting, as well as a play therapy method called Sandtray Therapy. We also talk about the importance that self-compassion plays within our lives and establishing our worthiness. Carolyn shares with us her approach to therapy sessions, where she foresees her practice heading with the implementation of video sessions, and her passion for mentoring interns not only through the therapy aspect of private practice but also how to run a business. We end the episode today with a heartfelt, personal story of hope from Carolyn. So stay tuned to hear it all on Hope Pieced Together.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Carolyn shares on “The Should’s,” how we prioritize things matters.
• The importance of sorting through your top tire values. 
• Brain Spotting: What this is and the benefits of its implementation. 
• Carolyn talks about the training required behind Brain Spotting.
• Carolyn shares more about Sandtray Therapy and how it works.
• We hear about Athleta — Self-compassion, and yoga mixed workshops 
• We talk about worthiness and the importance of reminding ourselves that we are worthy.
• Carolyn shares about her passion and wheelhouse and how she approaches therapy. 
• Private practice — Not only therapy but it’s also running a business.
• Carolyn talks about her video sessions.
• Carolyn shares her story of hope: Infertility and the ebb and flow. 

Tweetables:

“You need to make sure that you know where you are putting your priorities, your time and your energy, because you shouldn’t be doing everything. You’re not going to do everything well. You need to pick what’s in your best interest, what’s in your value set and what’s going to feed your spirit, or fill your cup, versus what the world seems to be telling you, you should be doing.” — Carolyn Robistow [0:03:25]

“We don’t have to do everything 100% to be valuable and worthy human beings.” — Carolyn Robistow [0:05:10] 

“I love the concept of being with ourselves, even when things are not going well. Self-compassion is something that perfectionists need a bit more of in their lives.” — Carolyn Robistow [0:22:45]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Carolyn Robistow

Carolyn Robistow on LinkedIn

Carolyn Robistow on Facebook

Joy Effect Counseling

Athleta

Mosaics of Mercy

Sex and pornography addiction are coming more to the fore in the modern world as we see the effects of readily available explicit material on the internet. Today we discuss these issues with LeighAnn and Mike Schweser, a couple who have dealt with these problems in a very personal way. After 18 years of a supposedly happy marriage, Mike's use of pornography started to become apparent to LeighAnn and even though there were denial and attempts at new habits, the problems remained for years, leading up to an affair and the near-end of their marriage. We hear from our guests about the extreme challenges that they faced, the important moments and how an undying commitment to each other and God helped them come through the struggle together. 

It is a conversation about a lot of difficulty and shame but also one with a huge message of hope for all listeners! The resounding theme is the compassion and understanding that Mike and LeighAnn fostered for each other in the darkest of times and this idea is great for any couples that might be struggling, no matter the issue. We hear about how this addiction is not actually about sex but more about shame and emotions, the process of learning more deeply about each other, the importance of faith in this process of healing and more. Make sure not to miss this amazing story of love, hope, and redemption!

Key Points From This Episode:

• How LeighAnn and Mike met, their young marriage after school and their shared values. 
• The events that shook LeighAnn and Mike's marriage after 18 years. 
• Feelings that came up for Mike when LeighAnn confronted him about his issues.
• Moving to Houston, travels to Africa and the secret lives that developed for the couple. 
• The letter that Mike wrote and how LeighAnn discovered the affair he was having.
• How LeighAnn learned about addiction and took the guilt off of herself. 
• The realizations that Mike had, attending counseling and confession and breaking the denial structures. 
• LeighAnn's thoughts on forgiveness and the grace that God gave her. 
• Support systems and the hope that our guests found in Pure Desire.
• The pervasiveness of struggles with pornography with today's ease of access. 
• Why masturbation is still sex outside of marriage and is dangerous for later life practices. 
• Creating a safe space to understand each other and addiction better. 
• Mature and patient decisions about recovery and maintaining compassion for each other. 
• The amazing moments of understanding and learning through couples work together. 
• Mike's hope in spite of denial and not knowing how he would heal. 
• Giving the seemingly impossible a chance and not giving up on a partner. 
• A final message of hope from Mike and LeighAnn!

Tweetables:

“Denial is not just a long river in Africa.” — Mike Schweser [0:08:00]

“I made mistakes in our marriage too. I could have handled things better when we started to disintegrate.” — LeighAnn Schweser [0:23:48]

“Forgiveness is such a tricky thing and so many people have so many different opinions about it.” — LeighAnn Schweser [0:33:09]

“The goal is to develop, emotionally mature and start healing those strongholds.” — Mike Schweser [0:43:25]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Mosaics of Mercy

Patrick Doyle Podcast

Pure Desire

Treating sex addiction or other sexual issues can be very difficult. Not only are these issues often shrouded in shame but it is extremely hard for patients to open up to their therapist about them. As a therapist who formerly specialized in treating eating disorders, Kim Saltzman, our guest today, has applied her skill set to a new specialty: sex addiction. She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, dealing with a spectrum of sexual issues. In this episode, Kim sheds light on what it’s like being in this unique specialty. She talks about the types of issues that she commonly sees. 

Her passion is not confined to her practice alone. Kim hopes to become more involved in child and teen sex education by working with the church and parents. She believes that in providing parents with tools to answer questions about sex, it will normalize children’s natural curiosity on the topic. By doing it through the church, she hopes to illustrate that sexuality itself is not bad because it is God’s creation. Kim’s approach to sex addiction and sex education is open and refreshing. Don't miss out on today’s show!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Kim’s background and the motivation for choosing her specialty.
• The links between eating disorders and sex addiction and how Kim became involved in it.
• Learn about what APSATS is.
• How a patient would know to go a CSAT over an LPC.
• Sexual anorexia: A look into an often-neglected aspect of disordered sexuality.
• More on the work Kim hopes to do in the church and community around child sex education.
• Curiosity is normal and questions around sex should be normalized.
• Without context, learning about sexuality from the internet can lead to skewed conclusions.
• Our culture is accepting of men with sexual struggles while women feel more shame.
• How parents know if their teenager needs counseling for sexual struggles.
• It is usually incredibly difficult to get sex addicts to talk about their struggles.
• Some of the tools Kim uses to help patients put a plan in place.
• An overview of the inner, middle, and outer circle tool.
• There is extra shame for Christians who have sexual struggles and how Kim deals with it.
• Kim’s message of hope for anyone struggling with issues around sex.

Tweetables:

“We have to develop some sort of functional relationship with food. We can’t just eliminate was seems to be causing the problem.” — Kim Saltzman [0:03:47]

“There’s no shame in a woman having sexual struggles.” — Kim Saltzman [0:29:24]

“It’s very difficult to work through a shame issue if I can’t even talk about it with anybody.” — Kim Saltzman [0:53:10]

“I want to affirm that God created sexuality. He is the creator of this and he sees it as good.” — Kim Saltzman [0:54:50]

“The goal of our sexuality is to bring two people close together in an intimate way that they don’t share with anybody else.” — Kim Saltzman [0:56:24]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kim Saltzman

APSATS

Brené Brown

Sex Addicts Anonymous

Our guest on the show for today is Deena Watson and she joins us to share her experiences with psychiatric facilities as the mother of a child who struggles with chronic mental health issues. When Deena’s son Brian was in between his seventh and eighth school year he experienced his first manic incident. In our conversation, Deena recounts the story to listeners, telling us about how Brain’s behavior was assessed by a series of medical professionals before he was finally admitted to a psychiatric facility. Deena shares her own experiences through the whole process too, which went from an initial feeling of fear and powerlessness to a subsequent period of learning. 

The facilities and people that Deena interacted with along this journey with her son’s condition gave her experiences and taught her lessons that shifted her entire perspective on what a normal life should look like. Today we hear about the place of hope that Deena finds herself in several years down the road, and the story she tells shines a new light on the positive perspectives and gratitude that people who endure such extreme trials are blessed to experience.

Key Points From This Episode:

• How Deena entered the mental health world by discovering her son Brian’s illness.
• What happened when Brian had his first episode and set up several shrines in the house.
• Brian’s diagnosis that suggested his issues were not physical but psychological.
• Limiting factors to whether a patient will get care in a psychiatric ward: space availability.
• Intake procedures at psychiatric hospitals: advanced security, precautions, and screening.
• What happened on the day Brian was admitted: interviews and a video conference diagnosis.
• Deena’s emotions after leaving the hospital: guilt, fear, and powerlessness.
• Brain’s behavior, experiences, and journey back to reality in his first week in the ward.
• Feelings of reassurance Deena felt after visiting Brian and seeing he was peaceful.
• Benchmarks for patient release: can patients self-administer medication?
• Critiques of the outpatient program: it didn’t show Brian how to handle his chronic illness.
• Support Deena found at her therapy group after realizing many peers had mental issues.
• Challenges faced around returning to school: peer, teacher, and staff responses.
• How the family prepared Brian to be at school again by teaching him safe words, etc.

Tweetables:

“We visited with the family therapist. I don’t even know if it was for 15 or 20 minutes, and he took us outside and he said, ‘I need you to go immediately to a psychiatric hospital. Your son needs to be hospitalized today.” — Deena Watson [0:04:03]

“I walked out of the facility and fell to the ground and just sobbed.” — Deena Watson [0:13:40]

“I’m not scared to admit him to a hospital anymore. I think its the right thing to do when I see those signs going up that he is entering a manic episode.” — Deena Watson [0:39:09]

“I don’t wish this on anybody, but in the middle of it, roses are beautiful but they have thorns. We still like roses. That’s the attitude that we have chosen to adopt.” — Deena Watson [0:45:46]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Mosaics of Mercy — https://mosaicsofmercy.com/

Hope Pieced Together — https://mosaicsofmercy.com/hope-pieced-together/

Sherry Burkhard — https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherry-burkhard-9a128b16a/

Some things are so painful that they get locked up in the heart forever. People can spend their entire lives carrying these scars around, sometimes without even knowing they do. In an effort to buffer away from this hurt, individuals turn to all manner of destructive habits. Today’s guest is Kate Turner, and she is a practicing counselor who specializes in trauma recovery therapy and parenting. Kate joins us on the show today to speak about the roots and manifestations of trauma, healing methods she uses in her practice, and actionable skills parents can use to heal from their own pain thus inflicting less of it on their kids. 

Kate breaks down her HeartSync philosophy which sees the heart as a three-part being that both stores and guards itself against trauma, locking it in as a protective mechanism that ends up causing further damage. Kate takes her patients through faith-based visualization processes to help them unblock these stoppages and release old pain, to the effect of healing both emotional and physical ailments. She also shares more about her Love and Logic workshops which help children and parents learn more peaceful ways of communicating, having the effect of families ultimately leading more fulfilling and whole lives. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• What HeartSync is all about: a faith-based way of healing from trauma.
• The three parts of the heart: the emotional part, the logical part, and the ‘guardian.’
• Wounds that we suffer from as babies or children while we are over-egocentric.
• Using the heart model to understand how trauma gets buffered by distractions/addictions.
• How the guardian stops emotional trauma spilling into the logical part of the heart.
• Vices caused by the guardian keeping emotions in: drugs, food, sex, technology, etc.
• Somatic/physical manifestations of trauma that subside after therapy.
• The Christian elements of HeartSync that use Jesus as part of the healing process.
• Applications of HeartSync to people who have been wounded due to their faith.
• Dangers of giving kids free reign on the internet in their rooms: they encounter wrongdoing.

Tweetables:

“It’s not about fixing my kids, it’s about taking a look at myself.” — Kate Turner [0:24:17]

“I have seen people healed not only emotionally but also physically in the most, you could say, miraculous of ways.” — Kate Turner [0:47:11]

“It does take courage to pick up the phone and yet there can be so much hope and help on the other side of the line.” — Kate Turner [0:48:31]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kate Turner — http://katedturner.com/

Kate Turner on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/kateturnercounseling/

Kate Turner Counseling on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/kate_turner_counseling/

Father Andrew Miller — http://www.heartsyncministries.org/about/

Joey Gentempo — https://hisfathersheart.org/author/joeygentempo/

Internal Family Systems — https://ifs-institute.com/

Richard C. Schwartz — https://ifs-institute.com/about-us/richard-c-schwartz-phd

The Tech-Wise Family — https://www.amazon.com/Tech-Wise-Family-Everyday-Putting-Technology/dp/0801018668