Hope to Recharge

As we work on ourselves, we sometimes find that doing it alone is not enough. In this episode, Matana shares some of the details on the upcoming 2022 Ignite your Life Retreat and what we can expect. For the lucky 25 women selected to join, this retreat will be chock-full of pampering, tips and techniques towards the path of thriving, self motivation, sharing and inspiration.

Hosted by Matana and Miri Grunhaus of www.mikahfashion.com and www.healwithgold.com, (Heal with Gold episode 133 and episode 135) this event will be a boutique retreat of yoga, meditation, mental health workshops, healing workshops, fireside chats, deep meaningful conversations, breathwork, Kintsugi workshops, massages, nature walks, pampering and nurturing and where you'll have exclusive and personal access to both Matana and Miri.

Visit the retreat page here: https://hopetorecharge.com/retreat

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845. It makes a huge difference!

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Signup today to reserve your spot: https://hopetorecharge.com/retreat

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Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845. It makes a huge difference!

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Quotes

“Embrace the great fullness of life and not just allow the pains to stop us from experiencing life.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Recharge to take the year and conquer it with your self, with your relationships” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

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Topics Discussed

• Gratitude
• Setting Personal Goals
• Mindfulness
• Inspiration
• Recovering from illness
• Experiencing joy from within pain

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If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute Consultation Today.

http://www.hopetorecharge.com/1on1

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind?

Find out more info here! http://www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

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Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

Joe Brikman joins us to share with us how he has come to thrive, despite adversity. As a boy, he was sexually abused by a female babysitter and at the age of 12, shortly after he told his parents, his father was diagnosed with cancer. Joe was sent off to a boarding school where, no matter his accomplishments, it seemed he could never live up to their strict expectations. This, combined with the flashbacks and issues he was dealing with, made him feel hopeless, and he attempted suicide on his 14th birthday.

After repeated negative experiences, Joe adopted a negative outlook on life, himself and his own abilities. He began expecting things to go poorly, and they did. To combat this, Joe went through years of EMDR and other therapies to deal with his trauma, but he still suffers from depression. He has learned ways of predicting and coping with episodes of depression.

In every realm of life, mental health, business, relationships or others, the tool to accomplish our goals is consistency. If we put a structure in place when feeling great, follow the plan even when we feel awful. If we feel that we are failing, change our definition of that word. In business, failure isn’t not closing a deal. Failure would be, not following through with our plan to make 5 phone calls every day. Failure would be, not being willing to learn from our mistakes. Failure is, not trying something different when what we’re doing isn’t working. We can’t succeed if we give up.

If we aren't living authentically, we aren't giving the world what we actually have to offer, and the world will be missing out on who we were really created to be. When I choose my priorities carefully and somebody feels neglected, instead of apologizing to them for not calling them back immediately, I place a positive focus by thanking them for having patience as they wait to hear from me. When an apology is needed for something done that wasn't intentionally malicious, we can find ways to thank that other person, and bring positivity into the situation instead of focusing on the negative and downplaying my good decision.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845. It makes a huge difference!

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Connect with Joe

Fixing Broken book: https://www.amazon.com/Fixing-Broken-Ultimate-thiriving-adversity/dp/B091NQX7CL

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Itsthejojoe

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Quotes

“When you're laser-focused on your mission, these things just make you laugh. Like when someone steals [your copy], you'll laugh because you know that you're the only you in the world. They can't copy you. They can copy your copy, but they can't copy you. You're the unique you with your mission and your drive is different from theirs. So you're going to end up in a different place.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Find things that you benefit from. Just because you're benefiting from something doesn't mean it's a trade-off.” @JoeBrikman @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Hope is the possibility of a better today.” @JoeBrikman @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

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Topics Discussed

• Dealing with childhood trauma
• Coping ahead with depression
• Consistency and success
• Failure
• Replacing apologies with thankfulness

—————————————————————————

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute Consultation Today.

http://www.hopetorecharge.com/1on1

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind?

Find out more info here! http://www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by DBT Path and by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

DBT Path offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

Today’s episode is about a very special and difficult topic that is a struggle for me to talk about. When I heard Erin Bagwell share her perspective on her experience with Postpartum Depression (PPD), I knew I had to have her on the show. In this powerful and raw episode, we discuss our own experiences with mental health in early motherhood and what new moms often go through.

All emotions are valid in motherhood. People make it seem that joy is the only acceptable option. Motherhood is hard. No one tells pregnant people that it’s not all going to be sunshine. It will be stressful. Mothers often feel strong bouts of fear, sorrow, rage, helplessness, loneliness and other difficult emotions. Many struggle to connect with their babies. There is a spoken and unspoken expectation that they will love every minute, leading them to feel that they aren’t allowed to be honest and reach out for support. Those with Postpartum Depression often deal with even more serious, threatening feelings such as the desire to kill themselves or their baby.

Making your own choices is valid. Neither Erin nor I had a positive experience with breastfeeding. We felt we were expected to do it, but it did not go well. I came to the conclusion that if possible, breast is best, but really, a healthy mom is what’s truly best. A Baby needs to be able to bond with Mom, and it is harder to do so when Mom is suffering from extreme anxiety or depression. If breastfeeding is causing that, logic says it is best not to breastfeed.

Erin has just released a new film documentary about her journey through Postpartum Depression: Year One. She began creating the film before she even realized she was dealing with PPD. She was mad that no one had warned her how hard motherhood would be, and wanted to personally process what was going on with her and her daughter. It turned into a much bigger project, one that we can all now view and share (free) on social media. If you have dealt with Postpartum Depression, know someone who has, or just need a new perspective about the struggles of early motherhood, you definitely should watch this film.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845. It makes a huge difference!

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Connect with Erin

Website: https://www.erin-bagwell.com/year-one

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erin.bagwell/

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Quotes

“It also felt like it had nothing to do with my little girl. My love for her was there, but it was hard to figure out how to express and how to make a life together.” @ErinBagwell @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“When everybody was telling me to enjoy every moment, it made me feel like I was already failing.” @ErinBagwell @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Don't be thinking it's Postpartum [Depression] just because you're having a hard beginning. Most beginnings are hard, and no one talks about it.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“I had to hold on to the idea of hope, to the idea that the sun would shine, and I didn’t know if it was there or not; I didn’t know if it was going to be, or if this pain would continue.” @ErinBagwell @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

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Topics Discussed

• Normal motherhood blues vs Postpartum Depression
• Joy
• Healing from Postpartum Depression
• Motherhood
• Breastfeeding
• Emotions in motherhood

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If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute Consultation Today.

http://www.hopetorecharge.com/1on1

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind?

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by DBT Path and by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

DBT Path offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

Bob Baker has been my virtual mentor for years. I have never actually met him before, but every morning, I listen to his podcast and let him guide me in speaking affirmations over my life. He is here today to share with us his own journey to embracing affirmations. Positivity had such a huge impact on my own healing, and Bob plays a big part in keeping that going in my daily life.

Despite what you might think because of his current gregariousness and big personality, Bob was actually quite shy and insecure as a teen. His junior year of high school, his good friend handed him a book by Wayne Dyre called Your Erroneous Zones. This book opened his eyes to a new world of possibilities. Suddenly, he realized: he could control his own destiny by choosing positive thoughts. He learned that thoughts influence emotions, which influence actions, which influence the direction a life can go. From there, Bob explored meditation, positivity, and spirituality. He saw success in his career and became a coach to other aspiring entertainers. He started a YouTube channel with all kinds of content and found his affirmation videos to be the most popular, so that has become his focus, and he just published a book about it.

Bob explained to me why affirmations work. Whatever you allow to be a consistent part of your thinking, that is what you will see in the world. It's like when you get a new car and you start to notice everyone around you who is driving the same type. It wasn't in your consciousness before, so you didn't see it. If you purposely put positivity into your consciousness, you will begin to see it everywhere. That is why you should speak positive words over your day.

What do you do when you don’t believe anything positive? Is it all a lie? One suggestion is to reword the affirmation so it is true for you. So, instead of saying, “I am a millionaire,” you can change it to, “I am open and receptive to new streams of income coming into my life.” And when you start your day anticipating new ways of making money, you will see the possibilities around you as possible instead of just dismissing them as impossible. Can’t figure out how to be grateful? Try saying, “I'm open to the idea of understanding gratitude.” If that’s not working for you, either give that affirmation a break and find an easier one, or double down and tell yourself the positive thought repeatedly until you believe it.

The most important strategy in having affirmations change your life is consistency. Do them every day. Believe they are possible, even when you can’t see how to get there. Don’t give up. Keep saying them over your life until they manifest because you have been open to their truth.

Through this journey of leading people to positive thinking, Bob has accidentally built an online family full of encouragement for its members who are, for the most part, not receiving positivity from their in-person communities. If you subscribe to his YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/mrbuzzfactor), you can join the community here: https://www.youtube.com/mrbuzzfactor/community: .

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845. It makes a huge difference!

—————————————————————————

Work 1 on 1 with Matana - With our 1 on 1 coaching program, you can work directly with Matana. Get a free 30-minute fitting tryout call to see if this is right for you. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute, 1 on 1 Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

—————————————————————————

As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group.

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind Group? 

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Connect with Bob:

Website: https://bobbakerinspiration.com

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/mrbuzzfactor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrbuzzfactor

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bob.baker

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Quotes:

• “Gratitude, I think, is like really one of the first steps to personal development and appreciating what you have now. I think it paves the way and opens things up for more good to come in.” @BobBaker @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “If you're willing to give the disaster an opportunity, also give the fabulous an opportunity.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “Shine your light… let your authentic self come out.” @BobBaker @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “Let's continue to spread the joy and the good.” @BobBaker @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• —————————————————————————

Topics Discussed:

• Affirmations
• Bob’s new book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Affirmations-Positive-Self-Talk/dp/173670530X
• What to do when you cannot believe affirmations
• Gratitude
• Why we should celebrate others’ wins
• Words of Encouragement When You're Feeling Down: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChVGiyU8JZY

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Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK
• Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by DBT Path and by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

DBT Path offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

In 2010, Debbie DeMarco Bennett learned that she had borderline personality disorder, (BPD) was in and out of psychiatric hospitalizations, frequently threatening suicide, unable to keep a job and her relationships were very hot and very cold. Having grown up in the foster care system and being placed in group homes, she worked with her psychiatrist and therapist at the health organization Kaiser, where she received her diagnosis of BPD. Her psychiatrist introduced her to Dialectical Behavior Therapy, (DBT), and after she enrolled into treatment, she realized that she was not crazy, but rather, was just someone who felt deeply, intensely, and never really learned how to manage, when difficulty surfaced.

DBT is a set of skills that helps people who have difficulty regulating their emotions to be able to learn how to do things in ways that allow them to create what is known as a life worth living and learning how to tolerate distress. It comprises different tools to accomplish this, including a large component of mindfulness, and is geared especially for those that have complex trauma and have difficulty regulating their emotions

After 2 years, Debbie was technically classified as "in recovery" and continued the process of rebuilding herself. Debbie discusses her early years in Episode 152 found here: https://hopetorecharge.com/episode/borderline-personality-disorder-the-road-to-recovery-debbie-demarco-bennett/, which is fascinating.

She continued attending DBT for another 5 years and was able to maintain her friendship with someone with whom she had been in a relationship for 10 years. As a milestone, they proudly just celebrated their 20 years of friendship. During her years working with DBT, she felt confident in her ability to heal and was certain that she would find the right person, even setting the table for 2 when she'd make dinner alone, thinking how one day, she won't be eating alone. Debbie attributes her ability to effectively communicate to the BPD skills she mastered.

While going to DBT groups, taking notes and documenting every word of Dr. Marsha Linehan, knowing that healing comes in community, that sharing and realizing you're not alone and supporting each other, she started a DBT program, despite working a job. Although the initial turnout was low, Debbie pushed forward and as DBT awareness grew, albeit through Selena Gomez and Lady Gaga speaking publicly about it, Debbie started an online platform, Emotionallysensitive.com. Today, there are students in 44 countries ranging in age from 15 to 80. Enrolled students participate in 12 week-long modules with weekly lecture-style classes, zoom workshops that include mindfulness, DBT skills discussions and somatics. Student have access to a variety of additional resource material, receive guidance from the DBT Path Team and connect with other sharing students in a forum supervised with compassion by a moderator, all with privacy, set boundaries, and guidelines.

Emotionallysensitive.com doesn't just offer sympathy, empathy and understanding through years of experience. It allows students to share and rebuild using the power of the community and acquire DBT skills for life. It isn't uncommon for new students filled with despair and pain to lash out personally at Debbie, but she often gets apology emails as those students grow and practice their new DBT skills, as time moves on. Debbie often refers partners, parents, siblings and children of those suffering from BPD to psychotherapist Amanda Smith at hopeforbpd.com who runs online groups to help them cope with those stresses and to learn the "language" of BPD.

Debbie's intention, is that people who have been suffering with BPD, who have been cast aside, disregarded or feared, or that people just didn't know how to support them, are clearly feeling seen, heard, loved and supported in the community.

Is DBT right for you? Let us know! We'd love to hear your thoughts and comments.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845. It makes a huge difference!

—————————————————————————

Work 1 on 1 with Matana - With our 1 on 1 coaching program, you can work directly with Matana. Get a free 30-minute fitting tryout call to see if this is right for you. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute, 1 on 1 Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

—————————————————————————

As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group.

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind Group? 

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Connect with Debbie:

Emotionallysensitive.com

Phone: 415-326-DBT5

Email: [email protected]

Facebook:@EmotionallySensitive.DBTpath

Twitter: @dbtpath

YouTube: DBTPath

Pinterest: DBT Path

Instagram: @dbtpath

Debbie’s Blog: Healing from BPD

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Links Mentioned:

Emotionallysensitive.com

Episode 152 with Debbie: http://hopetorecharge.com/episode/borderline-personality-disorder-the-road-to-recovery-debbie-demarco-bennett/

Dr. Marsha Linehan: behavioraltech.org/

Dr. Marsha Linehan: behavioraltech.org/

Psychotherapist Amanda Smith:hopeforbpd.com

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Quotes:

• “If you notice yourself starting to get stressed, there are skills to use in that moment to keep yourself from escalating and to keep yourself feeling regulated.” @DebbieDeMarcoBennett @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “I wasn't crazy. I was just someone who felt deeply, intensely, and never really learned how to manage.” @DebbieDeMarcoBennett @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “Many of us were never taught how to manage and then we're given this gift of DBT.” @DebbieDeMarcoBennett @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “It was really rebuilding and finding your true self because for 18 years, you didn't even know who you were.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “When you're evolving, you're attracting a different person for what you will be eventually.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “There's such shame. There's such stigma. There's such fear. But I think Dr. Marshall Linehan is brought a gift to the world of hope.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

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Topics Discussed:

• Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy after a diagnosis of BPD
• The power of healing in a community
• Coping with emotions
• BPD, DBT and relationships
• Taking the first steps after awareness

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK
• Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by Emotionallysensitive.com

Emotionallysensitive.com offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Our psychoeducational courses are taught by our founder, a peer in recovery from borderline personality disorder, and a licensed DBT-trained psychotherapist. Learning and practicing DBT skills can help create balance within us as well as in our relationships of all kinds (family, friends, workplace, romantic, etc..), and help those of us with intense emotions -- whether it’s from borderline personality disorder, bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, or other reasons, to create the lives we want and deserve. Enrollment opens soon. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

In this powerful solo episode, we hear a story of a daughter’s disappointment and how her mother makes space for that pain, with love and without judgement. Matana tells us how her daughter so badly wanted to travel abroad for a family wedding but due to covid travel restrictions, was unable to. Like so many facing mild or severe disappointments, regardless of the level of challenge, being there to help another person in pain can be daunting. 

Simply holding space for them, allows a feeling of empathy to unfold and can help sooth a broken heart. The knowledge that they are not alone can provide comfort and avoid long term trauma by having a guilt free listening ear to help them feel they are not alone in their struggle.

Asking a child or loved one what’s wrong isn’t being invasive. When done in earnest, without judgement or rebuke and when coming from a wellspring of kindness and love, it allows them to share their feelings in a safe place, not only creating a long and strong bond of friendship and trust.

Most of us yearn for a listening ear not only to empathize but to help relieve the burden on that at times, weigh heavily on us. Role modeling empathy to our children is an excellent method of training the next generation to be kinder humans and ultimately, makes us better too.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge!

If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

It makes a huge difference! 

—————————————————————————

Quotes 

“We don't have the answers to fix the pain, but one of the greatest gifts God gave us was the gift of empathy, the gift of sympathy, the gift of holding space for somebody else when someone is in pain or in tragedy” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge 

“Trauma is from the child feeling pain during childhood and not having support or a safe place to share that pain” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“The only way we can really get rid of the pain is by sitting in it” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge 

“I decided that I'm going to listen in order to understand, not in order to respond” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge 

“If your child is suffering in silence, just ask them to share with you what is going on without feeling threatened” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

—————————————————————————

Topics Discussed 

• Holding space for other people
• Listening to understand, without being threatened by what you might hear
• Listening to understand, without judging
• Using empathy to help others heal

—————————————————————————

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. We also offer free 30-minute fitting calls for our coaching program. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind? 

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

For the 20th anniversary of 9/11, I had the privilege of interviewing one of the few people who were inside the building and survived the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City. Ari Schonbrun worked on the 101st floor in the accounts receivables department of a stock market firm. Of their 960 employees in that office, only 302 survived. Most of those who lived were not in the office that day.

Listen to hear his incredible story of why he got to work late that day, the events that transpired on the 78th floor, how he got out of the building, what his journey home across the city was like after he escaped, and how his life has changed now since it happened.

Today, Ari has pulled out of the corporate world and is now solely focused on motivational speaking, life coaching, and growing his podcast, Whispers and Bricks. http://whispersandbrickspodcast.com The name of his show comes from the idea that God is always trying to guide his children with whispers. He's always there, whispering in our ears, but when we're not willing to listen, he often resorts to hitting us over the head with a brick. Ari sees 9/11 as a brick in his life. And it changed everything.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes. It makes a huge difference!

—————————————————————————

Work 1 on 1 with Matana - With our 1 on 1 coaching program, you can work directly with Matana. Get a free 30-minute fitting tryout call to see if this is right for you. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute, 1 on 1 Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

—————————————————————————

As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind Group? 

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Connect with Ari

Leave a Message on his website http://whispersandbrickspodcast.com/ask-ari/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/arischonbrunspeaksandcoaches/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/arischonbrun_llc/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQPhi4fzHNWJGFRCefW6VYA/videos

Twitter https://twitter.com/arischonbrun2

—————————————————————————

Quotes:

“In a parking lot, we have two choices. Somebody took a spot. And I said, it's not that it was mine. And the person took it. God wanted to give it to him. And God's going to give me my spot. Cause that's not my spot.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“We need to make some changes in the world, but before you can change the world, you've got to change yourself.” @AriSchonbrun @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Make one small change. Every single day, it could be minuscule could make the change because at the end of the year, you've done 365 things to make yourself better.” @AriSchonbrun @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

—————————————————————————

Topics Discussed:

• Experiencing 9/11
• Rebuilding after 9/11
• How life changed after 9/11

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK
• Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

We asked Dr. Kobernick to come back (her first episode is here: https://hopetorecharge.com/episode/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dr-chaya-lieba-kobernick/) because I have been getting tons of questions about Radical Acceptance, which is a building block of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I’ve also noticed that our most popular episodes have been those about BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and DBT so, I knew we needed an expert to come in and talk about it some more.

Radical acceptance is the most difficult skill to master in DBT. Normally, the best way to go about it is to start with small, immediate problems like burnt food or missing the bus. Once you are able to accept inconveniences like those, you can start working on accepting the more difficult parts of life like trauma or illness.

‘Dialectical’ means that there are two things in opposition to each other that simultaneously exist. The major dialectic in DBT is acceptance and change. We can both fully accept the way things are right now and work toward changing ourselves and our situation for a better future, but the acceptance part is not done in order to bring about change. It is done for the parts of life that we cannot necessarily change the outcome ourselves, at least not in this very moment, and we need to accept this moment.

Everyone experiences pain. It is inevitable. Suffering, however, is not. When we choose to accept our pain, we can experience freedom instead of suffering. Fighting against what’s happening and focusing on how unfair and unjust it is only leads to misery. We can be sad about our current situation and grieve loss and still accept that it is reality. You’ll know you have accepted a situation when you stop fighting for reality to be different or hiding from what’s happening. Radical acceptance is almost never a one-time decision. After you have chosen to accept something in your reality, you will be reminded of the difficulty of it again and again, and you must choose to accept it every time. It should gradually get easier for each problem.

To experience less distress, we need to realize that all emotions are welcome and needed in life. They serve different purposes. Happiness or bliss should not be one’s goal. A happier life includes every emotion at its proper time. The goal of DBT is to build a life worth living, not to feel only happiness.

Dr. Kobernick works with teens who have multiple problems and need the support of full DBT treatment. Teen treatment always includes family members because it is almost impossible for a kid to implement the changes needed in their life without the whole family system cooperating or at least one advocate being in the home with them. She works with the kid alone, the kid with their family, and the family alone in order to provide the best support possible.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! If we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes. It makes a huge difference!

—————————————————————————

Work 1 on 1 with Matana - With our 1 on 1 coaching program, you can work directly with Matana. Get a free 30-minute fitting tryout call to see if this is right for you. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute, 1 on 1 Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

—————————————————————————

As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group.

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind Group? 

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Connect with Dr. Kobernick:

https://www.thecbtdbtcenter.com

email: [email protected]

—————————————————————————

Quotes:

“A lot of us spend a lot of time not accepting the past.” @DrKobernick @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Suffering is optional. We do have to experience pain, but we don’t have to suffer.” @DrKobernick @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Radical acceptance is about grieving a loss.” @DrKobernick @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Most of life is not as painful as we believe it is.” @DrKobernick @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“Can’t is a tough word because that takes away our choice.” @DrKobernick @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

—————————————————————————

Topics Discussed:

• DBT
• Radical Acceptance
• Grief vs. Depression
• Suffering
• Emotions
• Teen DBT treatment

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK
• Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by DBT Path and by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

DBT Path offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

Two experts in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Drs. Galen and Aguirre, have just released a new book called DBT for Dummies. They are experts in explaining this to average people with no background in psychology. Together, we explore one of the basic tenets of DBT: radical acceptance. I tell clients about this practice all the time, and there's always so many questions about how it works.

Dr. Aguirre shares with me his journey of embracing DBT. He was realizing that he would help his friends or himself feel better in different ways than he would help his clients, and the inconsistency didn't make sense. The first day he first experienced DBT mindfulness by observing a raisin in his mouth was eye-opening, and as he explored more, he found DBT provided a logic that he had not found other places. He and his colleagues have been amazed to see the transformation in the lives of young DBT clients who have found no hope or help anywhere else. Kids who were once in constant emotional distress and wanting to die have learned how to cope with suffering. Families have learned how to support them and cope with their struggles themselves.

Dr. Galen breaks down the process of radical acceptance for us. It starts with acknowledging the reality of our current moment. Once we can accept the facts about our situation, we can begin to pinpoint what is causing problems and come up with solutions for our pain or take steps toward a goal that we have been too afraid to pursue. Accepting what is means releasing what isn’t (usually, a hope, belief, or relationship). This is often quite difficult and leads people to avoid the entire situation rather than embrace and grow from it. Another hiccup is that even after we have accepted something in this moment, we will get triggered into non-acceptance again later by a memory. And when that happens, we must start the process over again. But hopefully, it will be easier after the first time.

Almost every person who is learning this concept asks, “But how can I accept that my future is bleak??” That is not what radical acceptance is about. You cannot accept a future that hasn’t happened yet. Anything in the future is simply a fictional story. One of the most important ideas to understand is that we can only accept now. We also cannot change the past. We can only accept the present it has led us to. If we’re worried about a bleak future, the best thing we can do is live in the present and make choices that will hopefully turn our future towards where we want to go. And if we must tell stories about the future, why not positive ones? Negative stories so often lead to self-fulfilling prophecies of doom.

—————————————————————————

Connect with Gillian Galen & Blaise Aguirre

New book: DBT for Dummies: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1119730120

Blaise’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blaisemd/

Gillian’s Email: [email protected]

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/profile/gillian-galen

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/profile/blaise-aguirre

—————————————————————————

Quotes

• “You can't accept a future that hasn't happened because it hasn't happened. So all we can do is accept the very moment that we're in.” @GillianGalen @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “It's very difficult to accept things that you don't like, but the reality of it doesn't change. Whether you like something or not.” @BlaiseAguirre @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “The person that I become in non-acceptance is not the person who I want to be. He’s not the person who's going to be helpful to my family, to my friends, to my patients, to my loved ones. Because if I lose a child and now I am angry, you know what? I've lost more than one child. I've lost my relationships. I've lost my friends.” @BlaiseAguirre @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “There's tension there. I can disagree with something. I can think that it's unfair because it might be unfair. And I can accept it so that... I'm not lost too.” @GillianGalen @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge
• “[People think] if I accept it, I agree with it. No, no, no. They're two totally separate things. I can be grateful and I can be in pain. It means a practice in dialectical thinking.” @GillianGalen @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

—————————————————————————

Topics Discussed 

• New book: DBT for Dummies: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1119730120
• DBT
• Radical Acceptance
• What it's not
• What it is
• Dialectical Thinking
• Mindfulness
• Gratefulness

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

—————————————————————————

Connect with us!

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

—————————————————————————

2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

—————————————————————————

3) Subscribe to us on:

• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK
• Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

—————————————————————————

Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by DBT Path 

DBT Path offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Our psychoeducational courses are taught by our founder, a peer in recovery from borderline personality disorder, and a licensed DBT-trained psychotherapist. Learning and practicing DBT skills can help create balance within us as well as in our relationships of all kinds (family, friends, workplace, romantic, etc..), and help those of us with intense emotions -- whether it’s from borderline personality disorder, bipolar, PTSD, anxiety, or other reasons, to create the lives we want and deserve. Enrollment opens soon. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

Two years ago, I talked to Dr. Jen about preparing for crises on this episode. About a year after that, Jen met the love of her life while in the midst of a very sudden, very public breakup. Today, she joins me from their honeymoon to speak about her healing journey.

Jen shares how her close friends, family and even her own body had been trying to alert her to the unhealthiness of her romantic relationship, but she had not been willing to listen. Even when her intuition said something was not right, she could not find a logical reason to feel that way, so she stayed. She kept hoping it would turn out like she dreamed. It wasn’t until after the relationship ended that she realized most of the problems they were having stemmed from differing core values. It wasn’t that either one of them was a good or bad person at the fundamental level.

I asked Jen specifically here today to share with us her secret to not blaming the other person in a broken relationship and not focusing on explaining what they did to cause this pain; but rather to own your own story and keep moving towards healing. The most important thing to realize is, “This has nothing to do with me. This is their story. Those were their choices. And now, I get to choose how I respond to them. And I will act within my core values, even if the other person went totally against them.”

Jen was also able to recognize that just because one person had made choices that didn’t align with her values and had hurt her very deeply didn’t mean that everyone in the world would do the same. If she was able to live by her values, that meant that someone else out of 7 billion must be able to live by those values as well. She could find someone different who was actually a good match for her; there was no need to settle for someone who would not connect to her at the core.

Jen met her new man dancing at a club at a physical therapy conference. They connected quickly. He has been able to recognize that when she is triggered, it has nothing to do with him. He can focus on supporting her instead of being hurt by her hurt. They are both coming into this relationship knowing that neither of them is perfect, and they need to be willing to work through their frustrating times. Rather than follow conventional wisdom, Jen chose to go into this new relationship with authenticity and honesty. Together, they have quickly bonded and built a business in the midst of a chaotic year.

One therapist Jen worked with, encouraged “anger expression”. In an exercise, women were able to acknowledge and express how angry they were feeling and say all the angry words they wished they could say to the person that hurt them. It's not about hurting the other person or getting revenge; it's about releasing and expressing one’s emotion. Anger isn’t necessarily a bad emotion; it's what we do with it that matters. Bottling it up doesn’t help because it is a deep feeling that is there for a reason, and using it to hurt others or focusing on it in a way that drags you down is not good for anyone. The negative energy needs to be released to make space for the positive.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! if we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes. It makes a huge difference!

—————————————————————————

Work 1 on 1 with Matana - With our 1 on 1 coaching program, you can work directly with Matana. Get a free 30-minute fitting tryout call to see if this is right for you. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute, 1 on 1 Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

—————————————————————————

As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group.

—————————————————————————

Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind Group? 

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

—————————————————————————

Connect with Jen:

Website

Instagram

Facebook

—————————————————————————

Quotes:

“I see this beacon of light sometimes that shimmers. And so I know it's possible that we could get to this beautiful relationship that I know I would feel so good about. And we hold onto that, that possibility rather than seeing the reality of what it is in front of us.” @DrJenEsquire @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“No one ever listened to me and we were just clashing and it was so painful because I just didn't feel a belonging and a lot of, and I always say this that if relationships would see that [their core values are clashing] before it comes tumbling down there wouldn't be so much hate and resentment and pain.” @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“...not by blaming, but by owning and moving forward from healing” @DrJenEsquire @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

“We're still both open to holding this space for each other to do the work. That's what's so important-- knowing that we're coming into a relationship not perfect; we're coming into a place that we both have work to do.” @DrJenEsquire @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge #HopetoRecharge

—————————————————————————

Topics Discussed:

• Healing from unsuccessful relationships
• Finding other people with core values similar to yours
• Releasing anger
• Replacing negative energy with positive
• Journaling

—————————————————————————

Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255

USA Crisis (Text): 741-741

Canada: 1-833-456-4566

United Kingdom: 116-123

Australia: 13-11-14

International Suicide Hotlines:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

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Connect with us!

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

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3 WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE PODCAST:

1) Subscribe via iTunes and leave a review. It costs nothing. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845

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2) Spread the word via social media. It costs nothing.

• Website: https://hopetorecharge.com/
• Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2079694042156503/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matanajacobs/

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3) Subscribe to us on:

• iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-to-recharge/id1464788845
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/00AIhRZOxKNOvenz32gGeK
• Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heather-parady-2/hope-to-recharge
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DkYMcco7pSrkKk6wU5p7w

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Today’s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by DBT Path and by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge. 

DBT Path offers entirely online DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills classes for those who experience intense or dysregulated emotions. Sign up now at www.emotionallysensitive.com

Betterhelp.com is the world’s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.