Hops and Box Office Flops

Terminator Genisys is a hodgepodge of ideas from more beloved Terminator films. It gives us the gruff and tough Sarah Connor, as well as the sleek and dangerous T-1000; and it even features an Arnold versus Arnold face-off in 1984 amid the familiar backdrop of the original T-800's arrival. There's only one issue: None of it particularly works.

Terminator Genisys feels more like half-baked fan fiction than it does a coherent narrative. Thus, despite how much we all love those elements and moments from the prior movies, they come across as shameless pandering here. Pair that with a convoluted script that hops through time more often than Dr. Sam Beckett, and it's a recipe for reboot disaster.

Now, it's not all bad. There are some good ideas in Terminator Genisys. Establishing connective technology as sort of a Trojan horse for Skynet is not without its merits. But, there is just so much happening that is uninteresting. With two leads (Emilia Clarke as Sarah Connor and Jai Courtney as Kyle Reese) who lack even a semblance of chemistry, those flaws become even more apparent.

Hence why this movie bombed with critics and domestic audiences. It sits at 27% on Rotten Tomatoes with 274 reviews; and it grossed just $89.7 million in North America. Its global cume helped it save face ($440.6 million), but it was still not enough to keep it out of the red.

Listen, you could watch this, but these versions of the characters won't be back. So come with us if you want to drink some future-infused Spaten Optimator, while hunting down those goddamn time traveling robots! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, and Chumpzilla are tumbling through time in our birthday suits!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Woof ... where to begin? Never has a movie failed so hard to grasp what made the fans love the characters of its series. (00:00)

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the aborted sequels and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Rocketeer is a beloved 1991 Disney film. Based on Dave Stevens' comic series, which debuted in 1982, it revolves around stunt pilot Cliff Secord's (Bill Campbell) fortuitous discovery of a jetpack created by Howard Hughes. Of course, adventure ensues.

The character was created as a tribute to the 1930s serials that had inspired wonder in the youth of their day. Both the comics and film execute that homage perfectly. The Rocketeer is indeed a cult classic. Loaded with charm—which is anchored by the majestic score of James Horner—it serves as a delightful reminder of the comic book films of yesteryear. Those films had to rely far less on CGI and far more on making the viewers organically believe in the magic they were presenting.

They also had a much slimmer margin for error. They weren't the commodity they are now, so there wasn't an excess of "superhero" cinema.

Unfortunately for The Rocketeer, it failed to take flight at the box office. It grossed just $46.7 million on a budget of $40 million, sending the sequel plans to the crap heap.

The good news: Despite some dodgy green screen here and there, it remains a very enjoyable time; and its enduring appeal seems to be leading to a sequel series for Disney+!

So sit back, blast off with a Hazecraft IPA from Great Lakes Brewing Co., and don't let Lothar snap you in half! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash and two special guests are punching Nazis and crashing zeppelins!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – 30 years later, The Rocketeer still packs plenty of fun. (00:00)

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the upcoming reboot and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Snake Eyes continues the unfortunate legacy of the legendary G.I. Joe toys on film. As in, it's not particularly good, nor was it successful.

Snake Eyes, like many films nowadays, is meant to serve as an origin story for its titular hero, but also as an introduction to a larger universe. We get appearances from Cobra's Baroness, as well as the classic Joe Scarlett. The issue is they don't necessarily fit. They are crammed into what's already a messy film.

Thus, they are shortchanged and underdeveloped. What is developed is the film's inability to make Snake Eyes, played by Henry Golding, particularly endearing. From the jump, his motivations and behavior establish him as almost a villain, especially when compared to Tommy, future Storm Shadow (Andrew Koji).

In more trustworthy hands, Snake Eyes' dilemma and traitorous actions may have seemed tortured, something the audience could empathize with. The script here just doesn't allow for that. Instead, he comes across as a jerk for nearly the entire runtime. It's honestly one of the stranger attempts at a Hero's Journey I've ever seen.

Couple that with a shaky cam that even Paul Greengrass would find offensive, a MacGuffin too stupid for even Cobra Commander to want, and a gaggle of giant snakes not murdering Jon Voigt, you've got yourself a fairly painful night at the movies.

Critics and audiences seem to agree. With 170 reviews, it sits at 36% on Rotten Tomatoes; and it grossed a measly $40.1 million on a budget ranging from $88 to $110 million. That, folks, is disastrous.

Anyway, now you know and knowing is half the battle. So sit back, kanpai with an Asahi Super Dry, and don't jump into the snake pit! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are overstuffing fish with guns for the Yakuza!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Seems like an odd choice to make Snake Eyes the least likable character in your Snake Eyes movie. (00:00)

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the Hasbro Movie Universe and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

The Lone Ranger is a modern adaptation of the popular 1930s radio series, as well as the late 1940s/1950s television show. It features a masked hero, the titular one, and his trusty Native American sidekick, Tonto.

After decades of inaction, Disney went big to bring the duo back. They re-teamed Gore Verbinski with Johnny Depp—who’d collaborated on the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies; and they essentially wrote the director a blank check.

In retrospect, that was a mistake, as was Depp’s baffling decision to play Tonto. With a budget ranging from $225 to $250 million, its modest $260.5 million take was disastrous for the House of Mouse.

Depending on who you ask, the project lost them anywhere from $100 to $200 million. As for Depp, his decision to portray a Native American did little to quell the murmurs of the film’s problematic production. And it certainly only shed more negative light on the project.

In the end, the mileage for this movie will vary for most viewers. It’s overlong, convoluted, a tonal rollercoaster, and lacks a charismatic lead. Armie Hammer, as The Lone Ranger, has less acting chops than his horse.

But it also boasts incredible set pieces, gorgeous visuals, and a bit of the quirky charm that made the Pirates films so much fun.

So sit back, grab your tin star and a Lone Star, and prime that silver bullet! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are avoiding bad trades with railroad shysters!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Johnny Depp as an eccentric character seems like his forte, but not this time around. (00:00)

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the spooky route this movie nearly went down and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Dune, based upon Frank Herbert's classic 1965 novel, has been done before on both big screen and small, but never to this scope or scale. Denis Villeneuve—given the resources and technology—has crafted a faithful and awe-inspiring interpretation of the novel's first half. Thankfully—based upon recent remarks—Paul Atreides' adventure will not end here.

This is literally half a story. And without the rest, it would not stand particularly well on its own. Unlike something like Zack Snyder's Justice League—which has a definitive ending, despite teasing more—Paul's story in this film ends on a cliffhanger. We won't spoil it here, as we do over the pod, but Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and his ilk have some serious comeuppance coming.

Anyway, if you're not familiar with Dune, this movie's fade to black may either leave you jaded or hungering for more. It sort of depends on your appetite for sweeping science fiction epics; because, although this is a marvel to look at, it does throw a lot at you. Whether it is the Bene Gesserit testing Paul with the Gom Jabbar or it's relative lack of context to the mystery of Spice, Dune is not the most friendly film for non-fans of the book.

That aside, this is definitely a voyage worth taking. It may even inspire you to seek out Herbert's other works in the series. Reading is super cool, and so are Dave Bautista and Jason Mamoa.

The Spice must flow! So sit back, avoid the oppressive desert heat with a Corona Light and don't make a deal with the treacherous Baron! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Capt. Cash are getting Spicy with the Freman!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How was Villeneuve's much anticipated adaptation of the classic novel? (00:00)

• The spoilers begin at 10:15.

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the extended lore of Frank Herbert's Dune and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Club Dread—Broken Lizard's follow up to Super Troopers—is a riff on 80s slasher films; and it boasts a cast of characters that are eclectic, dumb, horny, and ripe for the picking.

This, of course, is anchored by the Broken Lizard crew. There's Dave, the drug-addled DJ (Paul Soter); Putnam, the buttoned-up tennis coach (Jay Chandrasekhar); Sam, the chief of the Fun Police (Erik Stolhanske); Lars, the smooth-operating new masseuse (Kevin Heffernan); and Juan, the promiscuous dive coach (Steve Lemme).

Their characters here are wildly different from their respective turns in Troopers, and not all are created equal. There are a few swings and misses in the bunch. That is entirely forgiven, though, by the presence of Bill Paxton as "Coconut" Pete.

Paxton's Pete—a Jimmy Buffet-esque singer living out his days on his hedonistic vacation island—is just a treasure. The character is wonderfully realized. From album covers, to candid photos, to actual songs, the work the Broken Lizard crew put into crafting Pete is incredible. His vinyl greatest hits is actually available for purchase (I may or may not have bought it).

That performance owns the film and is probably responsible for why it's now a cult classic. Its need for that status is actually surprising. Despite the massive popularity of Troopers, Club Dread fell flat on its face at the box office.

On a budget of $8 million, it earned just $7.6 million. It was also diced up by critics. With 101 reviews, it sits at 29% on Rotten Tomatoes.

To hell with them, this movie is a bloody good time; so sit back, slug down one of Cutwater's Pina Coladas, and don't ask "Coconut" Pete to play Margaritaville! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are never gonna lose those tails!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – How does Broken Lizard's sophomore effort fare? (00:00) 

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the majesty of "Coconut" Pete's music and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

They Live is a bonafide cult classic. And it works not only as a critique on rampant consumerism and Reagan-era economics, but also as a guilty pleasure action movie.

The premise is simple: Nada—played by "Rowdy" Roddy Piper—is awakened to the horrific reality the world is actually living in through the lenses of special sunglasses. That world is one run by an unknown alien race, who are bleeding humans dry and lulling them into complacency through the content they absorb.

Television, billboards, magazines, and even money all instruct people to do as they are told—to not think or have imagination. Carpenter's intentions are about as subtle as a Roddy Piper clothesline, but that doesn't make them any less resonant.

Even if you have never seen They Live, you have no doubt seen its messaging. OBEY, one of the subliminal missives the aliens feed to humans to keep them compliant, is just part of the pop culture zeitgeist.

Thus, despite earning just over $13 million during its theatrical run, They Live has lived on. And its conceit is just as relevant today as it was in 1988.

Now sit back, BUY some Bubble Farm IPA from Clown Shoes, and CONFORM to our collective sense of humor! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are here to chew bubblegum and kick ass ... and we are all out of bubble gum!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – They Live is a potent social commentary wrapped up in glorious 80s action. (00:00) 

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Carpenter's reflections on the movie and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Event Horizon was Paul W.S. Anderson's follow up to Mortal Kombat. At the time, he was highly sought after. In the wake of that movie's success, he was offered the sequel to MK and even an X-Men film, amongst other things. Wanting to veer away from PG-13 fare, Anderson settled on Event Horizon.

The basic premise of the film is that a salvage crew is dispatched to secure the titular ship, the Event Horizon, which has been missing for seven years. What they find is not something they will ever un-see, even if they don't need eyes to do so. Why? Well, in the ship's journey through the pockets of space, it took a detour.

As a result, its original crew slaughtered each other, bathing in blood and doing other unsightly things. This is a hard R, folks, and we don't even get the majority of the insanity he wanted to include. That last bit is unfortunate because, ultimately, Event Horizon feels like an unfinished film.

Its slapdash editing, done over the course of just six weeks, is unable to hide its story flaws. It's not surprising then that the film was trashed by critics (29% on Rotten Tomatoes with 79 reviews); and failed to recoup its pricey $60 million budget, grossing just $42 million.

Despite that, it is a pseudo-cult classic. Online fans have even attempted to insert what's left of the lost footage to build a director's cut the studio will never release. Its intense visuals, strengthened by dynamite sets and practical effects, also elevate what are mostly pedestrian scares.

So sit back, unearth the cosmic horrors of a Hell Lager from Surly Brewing, and get off that ship! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are doing our best to avoid the creepy Dr. Weir as he prances naked around the Event Horizon!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Pitched as "The Shining in space," Event Horizon can't quite reach the lofty heights of its comparison. (00:00) 

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the lost footage and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Tin Cup re-teams director Ron Shelton with his Bull Durham star Kevin Costner. The pairing, which was stellar in 1988’s Durham, fails to rediscover the magic of that film.

That’s primarily because Roy McAvoy, the titular Tin Cup, just isn’t likable. He’s an obtuse man-child—much more akin to “Nuke” Laloosh than “Crash” Davis. And his foibles, which are on full display throughout, are never adequately addressed. One would be justified in arguing that his growth arc may actually be a negative one.

Despite that, there is fun to be had on the back nine, especially if you ignore the forced romance sub-plot; and Tin Cup is at its best when it’s tapping into the more spirited aspects and nuances of golf.

In addition, its ending holds to this day. McAvoy’s insistence on going for it all amplifies what could have been just a typical sports movie. That boldness is probably why critics appreciated it (72% on Rotten Tomatoes with 53 reviews). Audiences did, too. Though not a huge success, Tin Cup did manage to rake in $70+ million on a budget of $45 million. We’d say that’s at least a box office par.

Now sit back, grip and rip the top off a Modelo Negra, and define the moment! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, Capt. Cash, and Mayor McCheese are letting the big dog eat!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Tin Cup works very hard to stretch the limits of Kevin Costner's charm. (00:00) 

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—the inspiration for Tin Cup's infamous 12 and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!

Ed is a movie centering around a chimpanzee who just so happens to be exceptional at baseball. As a concept, that sounds ridiculous, but kids movies have worked with that conceit—take Air Bud as an example. But Ed is a travesty. Plain and simple.

It's unfunny, nonsensical schlock, and it probably killed the notion that Matt LeBlanc could be bankable as a leading man. The film's failings are not his fault. As devoid of charm as he may be in it, it's just a rudderless enterprise. Other than the novelty of a chimp—who once belonged to Mickey Mantle—having a golden glove, there's a distinct lack of focus.

Ed ping pongs between plot points we've seen in other movies. Universally, they were done better elsewhere. It even shoehorns in a romantic subplot between Ed's raucous bowel movement jokes. One wonders how they found the time.

It should come as no surprise then that Ed was panned by critics. It sits at 0% on Rotten Tomatoes with 16 reviews. It also tanked at the box office. On a budget $24 million, it made just over $4 million. This thing is like hitting into an unassisted triple play.

Now sit back, ease the pain of watching Ed with a Golden Monkey from Victory, and keep the chimp away from your bathroom! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are stuffing our faces full of frozen bananas!

This Week’s Segments:

• Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Ed loves farting, frosty treats, and assorted hijinks. Sounds hilarious, right? It's not. (00:00) 

And, as always, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids—Matt LeBlanc's anger over appearing in the film and more—from this week’s episode!

You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, and Amazon Music!