Chris goes to Portland, Oregon for the 2018 XOXO Festival, Steve goes to Portland, Maine for his bachelor party, and one of us goes to the mall and gets our prostrate massaged without meaning to.

Chris is going to the XOXO Festival in Portland, Oregon; Steve is having a bachelor party in Portland, Maine; and climate change in Portlands all over our fair planet is very, very real.

Steve has a birthday, Chris has some Ben & Jerry’s, and a listener has some strong feelings about the proper Terminator line-up. Plus: Where is Dyluck?! And: Who is Finley Harlocker?

Steve thinks listeners would miss Chris, Chris does his best to prove otherwise, and we both wonder what we’d do with Save Points in real life.

Chris saw 'Christopher Robin,' Steve saw a beer explode, and Apple saw fit to boot Alex Jones.

Chris is going to kick the shit out of his computer, and Steve is going to kick the shit out of Chris if he wears the orange tie.

Chris saw a kangaroo, Steve saw a sign, and we see eye-to-eye on the Firing of James Gunn.

There's an American Girl in Natick and a Match.com girl on Steve's TV.

Chris drives his family to Universal Studios and Steve reveals that J.K. Rowling hates pinball.

Steve begs Chris not to get him started, but Chris does it anyway.