Hot Girls Cry

In this week's episode, Valerie sits down with Human Design Reader and Astrocartographer Erin Rogers to learn all about this fascinating system that provides a practical tool for self-discovery and correct decision-making.

This system takes astrology and the teachings of quantum physics, blended with chakras. It divides people into five types: generators, manifesting generators, manifestors, projectors, or reflectors. One of the fantastic things about Human Design is how it relies on intuition to live our best lives, incentivizing people to align their life around their energy (and aura) and to leave behind everything that doesn't serve them. It uses the principle that happy people attract people and positive experiences, so if you're living in alignment, you'll be attracting good things.

Episode takeaways:
-Human design is a blueprint to who you are.
-Balance means different things for everyone.
- Manifestors make up about 9% of the world's population.
- Reflectors are only about 1% of the world's population.
-Give yourself permission to be yourself, even if it defies society standards.
-Take some time to consider what makes you happy and what reflects positively in your body and spend more time doing those things.
-Human Design can help you understand your decision-making process and help you align your future life goals.
-Rethink your routines and why you do what you do: just because society tells you how you should live your life, it doesn't mean that it aligns with who you are and your values.

Connect with Erin:
http://erinrogers.io/
https://www.instagram.com/erinrogers.io/

Rachel Maine is on a mission to turn the world into a more sex-positive place. Through her company Wellness Sexpertise and her podcast Owning Your Sexual Self, Rachel inspires men and women to talk about their experiences, desires and everything in between. Having started her career in a local domestic violence shelter, Rachel understands how trauma or negative experiences can forever transform a person's relationship with sex and masturbation.

Rachel's experience through Pure Romance (a company that sells products for adults only) gave her one-on-one understanding of women's sex journeys, and thanks to that, she now helps people of all backgrounds understand their body, their connection to pleasure and how they can meet their needs through self-pleasure.

In this episode, Valerie and Rachel discuss the implications of "the less you know, the more you can control" parent mentality, being raised in a conservative Catholic household, and how parents can harness the power of the internet to break the cycle of shame.

As Rachel explains, "so many young adult women don't know who to talk to, to get the advice they need" because as children, they were left to find out things on their own versus having an educated conversation with family members about sex education.

Rachel and Valerie also debate the biggest sex challenges in today's society, women's first masturbation and how the act of self-masturbation can do a lot for your self-confidence. Also, Rachel dives deeper into pleasure to explain how women can masturbate the right way, and tell you why you should start looking at feminist porn.

Key takeaways from this episode:
-Over 80% of women experience low desire to masturbate.
-Self-aspiration is deeply connected to self-masturbation.
-Sex toys and sex products can be outdated and it's important to understand what you should be using (for your own good).
-Sex toys are empowering to help you understand how you experience pleasure and how'd like to be pleasured.
-Sex response between genders is very different and there's no reason to think everyone gets it the same way.
-Masturbation can help you relieve the stress or body aches you may feel during the day ... and even help you have healthier skin!
-Over 80% of women experience orgasms through their clitoris stimulation.
-A sex therapist will help you understand the triggers that can cause lack or desire or libido.


​Resources on this podcast:
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, by Ian Kerner
https://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Ian-Kerner-audiobook/dp/B0007Q1CI6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=D8WD50B0J9MO&dchild=1&keywords=she+comes+first&qid=1589912715&sprefix=she+comes+fir%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-1​

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life​, by Emily Nagoski ​https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=come+as+you+are&qid=1589912792&sr=8-1

Sex Matters for Women, Second Edition: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self​, by Sallie Foley, Sally A. Kope, Dennis P. Sugrue https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Matters-Women-Second-Complete-ebook/dp/B006L6VW9U/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2ZAD68072W7YW&dchild=1&keywords=sex+matters+for+women&qid=1589912859&sprefix=sex+matters+%2Caps%2C182&sr=8-2

​Sex with Emily Podcast
​https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/sex-with-emily-recorded-in-the-stitcher-studio

Amanda Montgomery is a business lawyer who understands legal representation is not a one-size fits all endeavor. Passionate about empowering women, Amanda set her business' mission to help small businesses and entrepreneurs look out for their best interests.

In this episode, Valerie and Amanda discuss all things women empowerment, toxic labels attached to feminism and how we need to stop being part of the problem and start working together toward the solution. Amanda reveals how a great mentor gave her the tools to question her own role in downplaying her success and how she embarked on the journey of entrepreneurship to support women-owned businesses in Texas.

Through her Instagram account, Amanda provides women legal information that is attainable and relatable, teaching women how to look out for contracts that don't have their best interest in mind, and explains the steps that they can take to become empowered business owners and how to best protect their rights. Amanda believes that women need to start taking an active role in negotiating and requesting payments as "if something is in your contract, then there's nothing wrong with asking for an invoice payment".

From legal advice and best practices, Valerie and Amanda also delved into gender equality, working women and the #MeToo movement.

Key Takeaways:
-Always have a healthy amount of distrust when looking at a contract.
-Contracts are made to have the interests of the person who writes them in mind, not every party's interests.
-If you need to, create a fake persona to take the more uncomfortable asks like send invoice reminders and ask for payments.
-To be successful you don't have to 'grind all day'.
-We have to examine our biases and the way we react to everything in order to shift our decision-making.
-You have more power than you think you have as a business owner.
-Before judging someone, give them the benefit of the doubt: they may not understand other realities because they were never exposed to it.
-You can empower women without being a Radical Feminist and still make the world grow.

Learn more about Amanda and her practice:
https://www.amontgomerylaw.com/
https://www.instagram.com/amontgomerylawyer/

Brandy Edwards is the true Elle Woods as a lawyer with platinum blonde hair and always rocking a pink staple piece. Her bumpy journey with self-love inspired her to create The Self-Love Challenge, a movement to inspire female body positivity and self-worth.

In this episode, Valerie and Brandy discuss body insecurities, the importance of creating empowering daily practices and how to nurture positive triggers to help women appreciate their bodies.

Brandy talks about the importance of accountability and choosing to control how you feel about yourself, and more importantly, how you TALK to yourself. According to Brandy, the journey of self-love is very holistic and it's like a nutritious diet: it's all about combining different elements for a successful outcome. The journey to being happy is about eliminating the things that don't bring you joy, so that you're left with the ones that truly align with making your life better.

From food, to routines, to fashion, Brandy explains that the journey is about eliminating toxicity and creating a thriving environment. Keeping clothes that don't fit you anymore may be doing more harm than good. Brandy asks: "When looking in your closet: how do your clothes make you feel?"

Have you thought about how your clothes make you feel? Consider embarking on a closet detox: if a garment evokes bad memories or unhealthy habits, toss it or donate it. Allowing yourself to only keep the garments that 'give you joy' reduces insecurities and sizing stigmas.

Key takeaways:
-Every single woman, even the most successful one struggles with confidence issues.
-Our insecurities are learned behaviors from the people who surround us.
-Self-love is a regular practice, a constant reminder to choose the path of light rather than self-loathing in guilt and negativity.
-If you do one hour of cardio a day, why shouldn't you do the same with your mind?
-Mute your 'inner mean girl' by remembering that you wouldn't talk to anyone the same way you talk to yourself.
-Got a compliment? Learn to say 'thank you' and appreciate it - stop downplaying it and accept it with gratitude because you are WORTHY.
-Lead with action, not with words.
-Insecure kids become insecure adults.
-Placing the power of self-worth on yourself, not on an object or another person.

Connect with Brandy:
https://brandymwilson.wixsite.com/theselflovechallenge
https://www.facebook.com/TheSelfLoveChallengeLLC/

Kristin Zaldana has been obsessed with skincare since she was a young girl. In 2017 Kristin turned her dream into reality by founding her vegan, cruelty free beauty line 2nd Kind and in this episode, she reveals everything you need to know about a natural, healthy and intentional skincare routine.

A self-made businesswoman at the age of 19, Kristin decided to experiment with products in the comfort of her family's kitchen table. Three years after launching, she shares about her growth journey, the decision to reduce her product line from 16 to 8, and how she dealt with impostor syndrome as she grew her business.

Valerie and Kristin discuss their passion for vegan and cruelty products, how to spot fake vegan products, and why now more than ever you need to know what chemicals go in your face! In this interview Kristin and Valerie also talk about how the nail industry is filled with carcinogens, how to find what skin routine works for you and how you should follow beauty advice from your local aesthetician, not your local influencer. Kristin reveals her beauty routine, her favorite universal beauty products and how they provide the best nutrients to keep you radiant!

Beauty tips:
-bacteria can live in your loofas, washcloths and sponges even if you wash them daily. Look for silicon gloves that can be fully washed and disinfected.
-you skin's pH can be leveled by the use of a daily toner. Stay away from foamy toners and choose creamy toners to reduce your body's intake of dangerous SLSs (sodium laureth sulfates)
-Your skin's moisture levels have nothing to do with your water consumption, instead, you should focus on limiting your caffeine intake.
-Some cosmetics which include SPF have 'flashback' effects, and that's why you should be careful with the products you take to an outdoor photoshoot.


Key takeaways from this interview:
-Improve your self-love by having a self-care routine.
-Eye care is super important: the sooner you start taking care of them, the better! Water-based or light cream are best to reduce bags under the eyes and puffiness.
-It's important for consumers to look for certified companies because some brands use 'vegan' and 'cruelty free' logos as a dubious marketing technique.
-Kristin learned the hard way that you can never fix sun damage.
-Makeup without SPF won't protect you from sun damage.
​-Vitamin C is a game changer in the beauty routine

Learn more about 2nd Kind and Kristin:
-https://2ndkind.com/
https://www.facebook.com/2ndkindbeauty
https://www.instagram.com/2ndkindbeauty/
https://www.instagram.com/skinwithkris/

At 23 years old Jewels Clark is living proof that you can grow a business from nothing, even if you're just started your professional career. Now, as the founder of two LLCs, Jewels is leading the charge in how companies interact with creatives.

Having experienced a "spiritual awakening", Jewels felt that she had to shift her mindset and change how she lived her life. Jewels reveals that she now takes the time to appreciate the small victories in her business and lives in gratitude.

In this episode, Jewels gets real about the process of leaving her comfortable job at an ad agency and transitioning to making a salary through entrepreneurship. Valerie and Jewels also discuss Baby Boomers vs Millennials/Gen Zs in the workplace, paying your staff, and how to successfully manage your business when the economy slows down due to a pandemic.

Creating How To Be Social grew out of a realization that creatives are good at creating, not at business planning. Jewels decided to birth a company that could expand the gig economy model by providing creatives a 'mothership' platform to be connected to companies.

Key takeaways from this interview:
-Know that what you're doing is enough, be happy with the journey yet having the ambition to go even further.
-You can literally do anything you dream of and no one can stop you.
-There's two types of entrepreneurs: 'the all or nothing' and the 'calculated risk-taker' and they have very different entrepreneurial journeys.
-There's a big gap in responsibilities and spending when you're a solo preneur and a business owner.
-When you become a business owner with a team you have to stay accountable and think bigger.
-Education needs to pivot from creating young professionals 'good at working for someone else' so that students can set their own path.

How to connect with Jewels:
https://www.howtobesocial.com/
https://www.instagram.com/howtobesocial_/
https://www.facebook.com/HowtobeSocial/
https://www.instagram.com/CreatorJewels/

Brooklynne Palmer is a vegan influencer, medical student, and a "huge science nerd". Having studied neuroscience and biology before, her transition to medical school only happened through her discovery of veganism. In her words, the plant-based diet gave her "a personal calling to explore how diet affects so much of medicine and yet it wasn't emphasized in medicine".

In part one of this episode, Valerie and Brooklynne discuss her advocacy for finding a healthy lifestyle that matches people's individual lifestyle (not trends), worthing through college to support herself, and the taboos of changing career fields.

Brooklynne opens up about her relationship with social media, and how she is using it to change behaviors in her community.

Key takeaways from this episode:
-Just because you don't find your passion in the traditional route, it doesn't mean you're not going to find it all. Being open-minded to change and active will benefit you in the long run.
-The more you fill your plate, the lower your capacity will be to really find out what works for you.
-Prioritizing mental health really helped Brooklynne with balance and her ability to push forward throughout your life.
-There's a dark and light side to social media and recognizing the dark and being mindful of how that affects you, is vital to everyone, no matter your age, field, or background.
-Evaluate how the accounts that you follow on social media make you feel. Mute or unfollow accounts that don't serve you, to give you only a positive, empowering environment.
-Stop counting the years that will take you to where you need to be. There are so many things that you can do along the journey that are going to make you happy, fulfilled, and allow you to touch people's lives.

Part 2:
https://www.spreaker.com/episode/25763395

Follow Brooklynne on social:
https://www.instagram.com/beetsbybrooke/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brooklynne-palmer/

​Connect with Valerie:
​https://youglowgirlpodcast.com/
https://www.instagram.com/youglowgirlpodcast/
https://www.facebook.com/youglowgirlpodcast

Brooklynne Palmer is a vegan influencer, medical student, and a "huge science nerd". Having studied neuroscience and biology before, her transition to medical school only happened through her discovery of veganism. In her words, the plant-based diet gave her "a personal calling to explore how diet affects so much of medicine and yet it wasn't emphasized in medicine".

In part two of this episode, Valerie and Brooklynne discuss how Brooklynne is educating her Instagram tribe about nutrition, the truth about "good and bad food", and how mental health goes hand-in-hand with nutrition.

Brooklynne explains the misinformation surrounding 'superfoods', the truth about gluten how nutrition looks different to everyone.

Takeaways:
​-Find a lifestyle that is sustainable FOR YOU​.
​-Using water to dilute the liquids you intake can have a surprising impact in your taste buds and on your nutrition.
​-It's hard to have a healthy relationship with food, even if you're informed.
​-The more attention you give yourself, the better you'll feel.
​-Because some superfood is good, it doesn't mean that it's good for you​
​-Under consumption of fruits will hurt you more than eating those goji berries
-A nutrition therapist, a nutritionist, and a registered dietitian don't have the same medical weight and titles matter.
-There's a lot of corporate influence in research so you need to take things with a pinch of salt
-Influencers have the responsibility of doing their research before promoting any products to their audience.
-Brooklyn explains how to recognize emotional binge eating, and how to manage it.
-Early traumas can affect our relationship with food.

Resources discussed in this episode:
www.Nutritionfacts.org
https://nutritionfacts.org/book/
https://nutritionfacts.org/how-not-to-diet/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nutrition-rounds-podcast/id1447250475


Part 1:
https://www.spreaker.com/episode/25763365

Follow Brooklynne on social:
https://www.instagram.com/beetsbybrooke/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brooklynne-palmer/

​Connect with Valerie:
​https://youglowgirlpodcast.com/
https://www.instagram.com/youglowgirlpodcast/
https://www.facebook.com/youglowgirlpodcast/

Julianne Schroeder is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Registered Yoga Teacher, and Everyday Therapy Podcast host. Julianne specializes in anxiety & burnout, codependency & other relationships issues, perfectionism and general self-esteem issues, and oh, she is a recovery perfectionist too.

In this interview, Valerie and Julianne discuss the emotional roots of toxic perfectionism, the importance of practicing daily self-compassion and why high levels of anxiety are to blame for this cultural pandemic.

Key takeaways from this interview:
-High functioning anxiety is to blame for overworking, not superhuman high standards.
-Pausing isn't about holding back but about learning to sit with yourself to grow your awareness and self-compassion.
-Underlying insecurities, anxiety, depression, or childhood attachment are behind unhealthy perfectionism.
-When we are connected to our values in a balanced way, we can cope with the stressors of life better. We need to reprogram overachieving and rewire our patterns in order to break away from the cycle.
-The three things you should ask yourself when you're feeling that you're spiraling out control: 1. Would anyone else in my position approach me the same way? 2. Are my feelings 100% true? 3. How can I be a bit kinder with myself?
-Even when it feels wrong, celebrate the positives.
-To understand the root of your motivation, ask yourself: if no one was around, and they couldn't see the results of what I was doing, would I still be doing it?
-Therapy can help you heal in the long run but you have to be able to rewind and work in your childhood trauma.
​
Resources mentioned in this interview:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Dr. Kristin Neff https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=​
Julianne's podcast:
https://www.everydaytherapypodcast.com/

Julianne has been featured in media outlets such as Psychology Today, Livestrong, HuffPost, Bustle, Thriveglobal, and more.
​To connect with Julianne, please visit:
https://www.julianneschroeder.com/
https://www.instagram.com/julianne.schroeder/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/julianne-schroeder-74481562/
https://www.facebook.com/julianneschroedercounseling/?__tn__=%2Cd%2CP-R&eid=ARC4GX4PF21VK9KUqhcK1xUADmgkY0MrMItsrKnhUidRKTp_NU7UWOP-Jrwl4zk8Na2UmrBP9fmn8tfS

Dr. Cortney Baker is an award-winning entrepreneur, host of the podcast Women in Business: Inspirational Stories of Women Entrepreneurs, TEDx speaker, and a fearless nationally recognized authority on women’s leadership.

In this episode, Dr. Cortney and Valerie discuss female empowerment, how to scale your business if you're looking to grow while keeping impostor syndrome at bay. This isn't a conversation about how women are the victims of the patriarchy, but rather a debate on how to foster and grow a network of women who support other women to climb the ladder.

Key Takeaways from this power-chat:
-Take control of your circumstances, don't take the victim's seat. Dr. Cortney herself started her career as a teenage mom and that didn't hold her back.
-You can grow your business from nothing, as long as you stay on your lane, focus on yourself and surround yourself with people who will become your cheerleaders.
-As a Boss, it's ok to be friendly, but don't try to be your employees' BFF.
-As you grow your business, hire someone who has expertise in the skills that you're currently lacking.
-How does your dream job look like 10 years from now? Map the full journey now to see what the process looks like.

Learn more about Dr. Cortney and her coaching business:
https://www.instagram.com/drcortneybaker/
https://cortneybaker.com/
https://www.facebook.com/drcortneybaker/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cortneybaker/

​Connect with Valerie:
​https://youglowgirlpodcast.com/
https://www.instagram.com/youglowgirlpodcast/
https://www.facebook.com/youglowgirlpodcast