Finances. Sex. Laundry. Fights happen over all kinds of things and can drive husbands and wives apart. It always takes two to keep a cycle going, but sometimes one can stop it. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster to talk about how we should handle fights with our wives.

Why This Matters
How we handle conflict helps determine the strength, happiness, and longevity of our relationships. 

Key Takeaways

·      Fights are happening all the time: According to YouGov, 30% of couples argue once per week or more. 

·      Silly fights can cause serious damage: Fights are almost always about something deeper than what started them. 

Steps to Handle Fights

1. Get curious.

Ask yourself, “What is this really about?”

2. Own your part.

Acknowledging your part in conflict doesn’t mean blaming yourself or taking full responsibility. 

3. Forgive.

Go ahead and give the forgiveness today that you will most likely need tomorrow.  

4. Circle back.

Don’t let the fight go unresolved. Circle back and let your wife know you love her more than you love being right. 

Important Episode Timestamps 
00:00:34 – 00:01:57 | A Marriage Fight Ted Still Regrets

00:01:57 – 00:06:17 | Most Marriage Fights Aren’t About the Real Issue

00:06:17 – 00:07:30 | The Fear and Shame Cycle in Marriage Conflict

00:07:30 – 00:09:47 | Why Men Shut Down and Women Escalate in Arguments

00:09:47 – 00:11:40 | One Way Dads Can Break the Conflict Cycle

00:11:40 – 00:14:05 | The Danger of Rumination in Marriage Arguments

00:14:05 – 00:15:24 | A Real-Life Example of Misreading Intentions

00:15:24 – 00:16:38 | The Simple Power of Forgiveness in Marriage

00:16:38 – 00:19:40 | Taking Space Without Making Your Spouse Feel Abandoned

00:19:40 – 00:22:07 | The Pro Move: Ask If You’re Making Her Feel Safe

APD Pro Move:
The next time you are feeling conflict with your wife, ask, “Am I making her feel safe or afraid?”

All Pro Dad Resources:

4 Things to Do After an Argument With Your Wife

5 Traps to Avoid in an Argument With Your Wi

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Ted Lowe on LinkedIn

Bobby Lewis on LinkedIn

BJ Foster on LinkedIn

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