How Do You Want To Be Seen?

Have you ever been in the position where you reflect on who you are in a relationship only to realize you don't recognize yourself? This episode will likely, and unfortunately, be relatable to a lot of you. Why is it, how is it that some of us are in relationships where we get lost? How can we get back to who we really are? Debbie Freeman shares her own very personal experience that is sadly all too familiar.  But it's also very encouraging. 

Here's Debbie's Facebook.

What beliefs drive you? What beliefs hold you back? Are we always able to recognize them for what they are?

My conversation with Emily Aborn (she's joined me a second time), digs into how we reach the goals we want, which includes working through who we are and walking towards that goal. Why is it so difficult to do that first thing, figure out who we are?  As a business owner hosting over a thousand women in her She Built This women's entrepreneurial group she's constantly working on this.  She leads by example asking herself the hard questions and working on getting the answers.

Emily also mentioned that she's working with Kasey Mathews.  Kasey was a wonderful guest on this podcast. If you want to work through life's challenges, Kasey is a great person to talk with.  in fact, Kasey is a great person to talk with anyway.  Here's Emily's site.  If you're a woman in business or know one, check her out.

Let's face it, sometimes the changes we need to make aren't nearly as difficult as daring to make them.  When Kara thought revamping her professional life may be the most difficult thing she'd ever done she soon realized it was going to take more courage and determination than she'd ever have needed. 

Now, on the other side of a full-life transformation, she's helping others with their own progress so they don't have to go through what she did.  Here's Kara's information

Do you know someone whose story could help others, inspire them, make them laugh? If so, please make the introductions.  Let's get them seen. 

Two, three, four-generation portraits? Or how about just you, for you?

Let's talk about How you want to be seen.

Emily has been creating most of her life.  The project she's displaying now at Labelle Winery in Derry, NH goes beyond pretty pictures.  Listen as she discusses the very personal motivation that has prompted her to commit to this years' long endeavor. 

It was so easy spending time with her and I'm looking forward to experiencing her work in person.  It's available through August 30th.  If you know someone who would be touched by this exhibit please, do share. 

https://www.emilyotterman.com

https://www.emilyotterman.com/#/the-gratitude-collection/

Much of Karen Kenney's thinking is aligned with my own.  And even in areas where we may differ I feel such a depth of respect for her.  You're going to hear why her choosing the path she has is incredible, not just for its own sake but for the obstacles that could easily have pushed her in another direction.

This was a fun, moving, touching conversation.  Thank you Karen.

We mention a lot of worthwhile information that may be of interest to you. Here are some Karen is passing along:

KK Website: http://karenkenney.com

The Karen Kenney Show Podcast: https://www.karenkenney.com/podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karenkenneylive/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenkenneylive/

Free Gift - Your Spiritual Team: https://www.karenkenney.com/freebie

And I mentioned the books You Are Not A Rock written by Mark Freeman and Feeling Good by David Burns

Not for the first time, a thank you to Emily Aborn for the connection, the support and way you make it all look so easy.

Much of Karen Kenney's thinking is aligned with my own.  And even in areas where we may differ I feel such a depth of respect for her.  You're going to hear why her choosing the path she has is incredible, not just for its own sake but for the obstacles that could easily have pushed her in another direction.  

This was a fun, moving, touching conversation.  Thank you Karen.

We mention a lot of worthwhile information that may be of interest to you. Here are some Karen is passing along:

KK Website: http://karenkenney.com

The Karen Kenney Show Podcast: https://www.karenkenney.com/podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karenkenneylive/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenkenneylive/

Free Gift - Your Spiritual Team: https://www.karenkenney.com/freebie

And I mentioned the books You Are Not A Rock written by Mark Freeman and Feeling Good by David Burns

Not for the first time, a thank you to Emily Aborn for the connection, the support and way you make it all look so easy.  

Every now and then I create my own portraits.  I do it so I can remember what it feels like to be uncomfortable and a bit exposed.  It allows me to better relate to my clients who, very often feel uncomfortable and exposed.

But I'm taking it a little further.  As a follow-up to a number of my clients and guests I've put myself in the position to answer my own question: How do I want to be seen?

That's what this episode is.

At the end one of my clients shares her experience being photographed and honestly talks about her own resistance.  I hope this gives you a glimpse into why this question is important to me in both this podcast as well as my portrait work.  And at least as importantly, I hope you get a feel for how much I cherish the privilege of creating portraits for my clients.

This is a link to  a gallery of a few clients who have shown that breaking the rules of traditional portraits, even for head shots and personal branding just makes sense.  If you aren’t a traditional kind of person, why be seen in a traditional way? Whether you're quiet, outgoing, creative, stoic, be seen as you are. 

How do you want to be seen?

That doesn't sound terribly appealing, does it?  But ask yourself this; how many wonderfully, life-changing experiences have you had that didn't involve work?  When I heard Sonya use that term, sit in the fire I immediately went to the refining process. Without that extraordinary heat and pressure the finest gold cannot meet its full potential.  

This is the second of two conversations around life with those with narcissistic  tendencies (Please click here to listen to that first conversation).  As with the first with Tammy Jordan, this conversation does address the real challenges that come from these relationships.  However, I also really wanted to get into what is it about those who draw or are drawn to those with these tendencies that can be recognized, and helpful.  

I've received a lot of feedback from this conversation, and I'm deeply grateful.  At the end of this episode I'm asking for your help with another highly sensitive topic.  Please reach out if you're interested in helping.  

Here's Sonya's contact information.  She wants to help. 

I know, this one's going long.  Add to that, we're getting into some pretty heavy stuff.

Tammy Jordan was introduced to me through the She Built This network group (Thank you Emily & Erin).  I indicated that I was interested in recording a conversation with someone qualified to discuss narcissism and narcissistic personality traits as well as the challenges that come with caring for someone with these characteristics.  The request was kind of out of the blue but the response was quick and enthusiastic.  Tammy has written a book describing her own experiences both as a child and residual affects as she is herself now a mom.  

She readily attributes much of her own growth to various authors; all of the pertinent links are below.  Included is a link to the video version of the recording.  I will say that as I edited the episode I saw a lot of discomfort in my own reactions.  That is not to say to I regret having had the conversation, not at all.  But if you want to see me squirm...

There will be another conversation in a couple of weeks with Sonya Lyn following up and taking a look at the individuals who see themselves drawn towards those who exhibit hurtful behavior.  It's also kind a of tough episode, but hopeful. I'd like to consider having a round-table discussion with a small group and someone like Tammy or Sonya to field questions.  It's clear there are a number of people impacted.

Thank you Tammy.  Thank  you all who responded to my request. Enjoy.

Video version of our conversation

Tammy's book: Returning to Whole (free first chapter)

Purchase Returning to Whole through Amazon

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

Peter Levine's organization

Tammy's headshot was created by Alexandra Chan