We are bringing Wisdom Wednesdays back during this time of COVID-19 to give you content to support you during these uncertain times. 

Wisdom Wednesday episodes are previously broadcast shows that we have curated for rebroadcast. I'm bringing these episodes back to the surface for you so that they can bring a little bit of wisdom into your life each week (without you having to dig through 600+ episodes). 

During this next phase of Wisdom Wednesday the intention is to help ground you, to fill your brain with calm messages, and provide resources of support.

We will get through this and yes while we may not want to, we can do hard things.

The first episode in this year’s series is an interview with Dr. Kristin Neff.

Dr. Krisin Neff is a researcher, professor, and author. In this interview we discuss self-compassion as a motivator for change. 

Kristin first practiced intentional self-compassion during her last year in graduate school while going through a stressful and messy divorce. She learned how to support herself, treat herself as she would treat a good friend, and this quickly transformed her frame of mind. 

How can you banish self-criticism and learn to use self-compassion? 

Practice. Practicing self-compassion trains your brain to turn it into a habit. Our mammalian brain is wired for this, but our lizard brain kicks in when we self-criticize. 

In the episode, Kristin shares steps, tips, and even meditations for self-compassion. Listen in and discover how to feel self-compassion and how to use it for positive growth and change. 

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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Well, friends, we've made it to week six of quarantine. It feels like my family is finally getting into a flow state and using better communication with each other. And, I'm taking the time to communicate better with myself and ask myself what I need.

To take it a step further, I want you to also ask yourself this: How can you support you? Self-care is so important these days. But to know how to care for yourself, you need to know what you need and what you can do about it.

For me, there are four things I try to do every day that give me a structure to support my mindset. Now, doing these things doesn't mean I feel good always. Practicing self-care won't make your life any less messy.

But, self-care can allow you to feel your feelings and reduce your reactions to them. As you create this structure for support, you can better understand what you need and then meet those needs.

In today's episode, I'm talking about how to give yourself the space for structure so you can support your mindset during this time. I'll share the things I do each day for more clarity and peace, and ways for you to add self-care to your life, drawer by drawer.

LISTEN HERE

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Let me ask you an important question: Are you achieving to believe or believing to achieve? By that I mean, are you treating your achievements like proof that you should believe in yourself or are you believing in yourself so you can achieve your goals?

It all boils down to your confidence in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, no achievement will ever feel good enough.

In fact, if you're like me, achievements might feel like magic or luck. The inner critic in your head calls you out for being an imposter. You worry about how you'll replicate it. Perhaps you worry that being confident will appear like arrogance to other people.

Even the most successful people struggle to believe in themselves. Why? Because there are so many obstacles that make believing in yourself hard.

In today's episode, I'm talking about the things you need to fully believe in yourself. This is your one precious life and the world is missing out if you don't use your voice. I'll talk you through some journaling prompts, my experience with imposter syndrome, and ways to root yourself in love.

LISTEN HERE

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Like most over-achievers, I like checking boxes and moving onto the next task or the next goal. Going back to something you've already learned can seem pointless. But, if you want something to be ingrained in your bones and to come naturally without thinking, circling back is not pointless.

Going deeper into something you've already learned is called spiral learning.

Right now is the perfect opportunity to review, practice, and go deeper. Just because you know all the steps to setting boundaries doesn't mean you can do them all in practice, right?

Our entire lives are built on spiral learning. Now is just a chance to do it consciously.

What are some things you think you know, but could probably be a bit better at? Perhaps it's being compassionate, giving yourself grace, or allowing yourself to feel like a newbie.

In today's episode, I'm talking about the tendency over-achievers have to treat marathons like 200-meter sprints. During this pandemic, what would happen if you slowed down your pace, gave yourself grace, and dug deeper? This week, I encourage you to try these things with me.

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Raise your hand if you think putting your needs first is selfish. Raise your hand if you don’t have time for it. Raise your hand if you don’t think you need anything. If you raised your hand, your resistance to caring for yourself is preventing you from being vulnerable.

We all need something, but many of us don’t allow ourselves to get vulnerable enough to ask. What do you need right now?

When I asked myself this recently, I came up with an entire list of things I might need. Permission to take a break from work, to cry, to feel, to sleep, and to laugh all made the list.

I know that your limiting beliefs are causing you to resist caring for yourself. The uncertainty of this pandemic is making you not want to feel vulnerable. I get it.

But, as Brené Brown said, vulnerability is the path to the life you desire.

In this week's episode, I'm asking you what you need. And, I want you to answer. I'm giving you three ways to figure out what you're needing and a long list of things that might meet those needs. Sometimes, all you need to do is ask for what you need from someone you trust. I'm talking about how to embrace vulnerability and answer this very important question.

LISTEN HERE

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How many pandemics have you experienced in your lifetime? If you're like me, this is your first. Yet for some reason, you're expecting yourself to be an expert at working from home, keeping your family calm, and being productive. If you’re a high-achiever, you’re expecting yourself to maintain the same level of efficiency that you have when there isn’t a global crisis.

What you need right now isn't self-judgement and criticism. It's grace.

Quite a few of you have reached out asking if I could talk more about grace during this stressful time. It seems like many of us need the reminder to give ourselves (and others) grace.

I want you to give yourself permission to focus on what you need. Permission to slow down, to rest, to cry, to do whatever it is your mind and body need right now.

In this week's episode, we're talking about what grace is, how to practice it, and why it's so necessary during this time. We'll chat about gaining perspective through being a compassionate observer and how to move through this period with resilience. And, I'll give you some practical ways to ground yourself and manage your mindset with grace.

LISTEN HERE

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I talk a lot about managing your own emotions on this podcast. But now that so many of us are working from home, the topic of managing others' emotions has come up. You may be seeing your spouse more than you're used to or be trying to get work done while your kids want your attention.

How do the emotions of those around you affect you? How does the energy and emotions on social media affect you?

Many of us will react to others’ emotions by hiding from them, trying to control them, or catching them like a hot potato. I don't want you to do any of these things. Instead, let's learn how to ground ourselves so we can move through their emotions and manage our own.

When we feel grounded, we can hold space for others' emotions and work through them. This isn't about controlling them or changing them.

In this week's episode, we're talking about being influenced by the energies of those around us. Although it's easy to pick up what they're feeling, you don't have to. We'll chat about the power of grounding ourselves and approaching others with compassion. I'll give you some methods for working through emotions and holding space for others to feel theirs.

LISTEN HERE

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When I was a teenager, I told myself that if I looked perfect, I would be safe. I would be loved and feel like I belonged. My perfectionism left me feeling burnt out and constantly unworthy. Although I've left the language of perfectionism behind, I realized something recently.

My mindset has still been operating with perfectionism. I just cloaked it with different words.

Even if you don't use the word perfect in your vocabulary, you could still be letting the essence of perfectionism hold you down. Do you ever find yourself saying, If I can be more productive today, I'll finally get X ? Do you make promises to yourself that once you finally act the way you're supposed to you'll get what you want?

That voice in your head is shame, my friends. And it's not coming from a place of love, compassion, or acceptance.

Holding yourself to impossible standards is a form of self-sabotage. It's a way to prove to yourself that you're not worthy. But I'm here to break up that party and tell you the truth: you are worth it.

In today's episode, I'm pulling back the cloak on perfectionism. I want you to notice the ways you've been disguising it in your life and start owning your story. We're talking about unpacking your mistakes and embracing the lessons they bring. I want to share how you can be more shame-resilient by becoming more compassionate and loving towards yourself.

LISTEN HERE

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Most of us are running around life worrying about the worst that can happen. We try to prepare ourselves for the worst by dress rehearsing tragedy so we can be “ready” when (not if!) it comes. We focus on all the things we don’t want to happen way more than we focus on the things we do. 

But here’s the thing: we all know that it doesn’t feel good to focus on the worst that could happen. So why do our brains do it?

I’ve had several clients ask me this lately, and I am just as good at dress rehearsing tragedy as anyone else. But I’ve trained myself to redirect my brain when it gets focused on the worst that could happen, and think instead about where I want to go + what I want to create in my life.

When we focus on the worst that could happen, we get anchored there. When we focus on what we really do want, then we move slowly + surely in that direction. 

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about why our brains like to worry about the worst that could happen instead of thinking about all the good things in our lives. We’ll chat all about why trying to “prepare” ourselves for bad things to happen actually takes the joy + peace out of the good times, and I’ll give you some ideas for redirecting your brain. And we’ll talk about committing to the best-case scenario instead of the worst.

LISTEN HERE

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I used to have a story about myself that I wasn’t a creative person. And while I got over that a while ago and have embraced my creativity, creativity isn’t always given the time + space it deserves. That’s why I want to talk to you about one of the most necessary parts of the creative process today: think time.

We all need time to think + be present with ourselves – no outside distractions. 

I recently took my very first Think Week, something I’d heard that Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and other super-successful (and usually super-wealthy) people do. I knew that taking this kind of time could be hugely beneficial for restoring my mind + capacity, but I didn’t think it was available to me.

I’ve realized now though that you don’t have to take an entire week of Think Time to get the benefits – you can create small pockets of time to be with yourself + get grounded throughout the day.

When you need some Think Time, take it! Close your email, put your phone down, and resist the temptation to buffer. Do something that allows you to sit with your own mind.

Today we’re talking all about Think Time and its role in not just the creative process, but in self-care. I’ll tell you about my journey with Think Time, how I realized that it was available to me, and some of the benefits I’ve seen from this practice already. We are taught that success comes from external validation – good grades, a great job, a “perfect” life – but when you ground yourself, you’ll realize that real contentment must come from knowing yourself inside + out.

LISTEN HERE

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