We are always hustling for other people's opinions, trying our hardest to make them like us so we can be validated, instead of being our authentic self. We focus our mental energies outward, neglecting the energy needed inward.

When you focus on gaining the approval of other people, you disempower yourself and your own opinions of yourself.

On today's show, I'm talking about why you need to take back your own validation and start to focus on liking yourself before making others like a version of you that isn't true.

If you spend all your time trying to get people to like you, you aren't going to like yourself nearly enough, which doesn't serve you in the long run.

Join me in learning how you can choose what you like about yourself and how you can be more authentic and prouder of who you are.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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The post It’s my job to like me [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

We are inundated by pop culture on all sides; it's impossible to miss. We get these sneak peeks into how we imagine other people are living all the time. For me, I watched a lot of TV growing up (and still do), so I had all these beliefs about how life should be.

When we get sucked into television and those curated lives, we are paralyzed by the realization that our lives don't look that perfect.

Today, we're talking about why comparing yourself to characters on television is so easy, yet so paralyzing for accepting your true life. While it can be a fun pastime, getting too invested can be bad for your self-image.

By watching and comparing our lives to fictional ones, we create beliefs that have no real basis in reality.

Tune in and let's think about how we can enjoy stories without undermining our own ability to live imperfect lives!

Download this week’s worksheet here and turn insight into action!

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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Calling someone selfish can be used as a way to punish them for putting their needs first. Often, the little voice in our own head tells us that we should never be selfish.

Thinking that you're being selfish tells you that you must put the needs of others before yourself, but that mindset is extremely depleting.

Today, we're talking about cutting out the idea of selfish and replacing it with self-care and boundaries. By establishing healthy boundaries, we can set the terms of our emotional engagement.

When you start to take care of yourself, you have so much more capacity and resilience to walk with and support other people in your life.

Join the conversation and think about how you can banish selfish from your vocabulary, giving you more capacity and capability for those you love. Download this week’s worksheet here and turn insight into action!

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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The post Let’s banish the word selfish [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

It can be difficult nowadays to recognize the things that make us happy and grateful because it is so easy just to focus on the things that are going poorly.

But when we change the way we look at the chaos in our lives, we can find the things we are grateful for.

Today, fittingly, we are talking about gratitude and how we can incorporate gratitude into our daily lives while still being gracious. When we realize that there are worthwhile things happening every day, we can be more positive in how we approach the tasks of the day.

Having gratitude for the blessings in your life can alter the way you view things that happen, and it makes you realize that the little things are accomplishments.

Listen in and think about how we can be more deliberate and gracious for all of the good and bad things that happen every day. When you change the way you approach your life, you can change what life gives you.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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We are often so distracted by our mistakes that it takes attention away from the things that actually matter. By imagining the bad things that could happen, we end up manifesting them by approaching situations full of worry instead of with optimism and an open mind.

When we worry about making mistakes, we're focused on the worst-case scenario, and thinking about that is a waste of time.

Today, I want to talk about why you need to stop worrying about all the things that could go wrong and focus on reasonably managing the risks. As soon as you relax and worry less, you will start to see positive things coming your way by learning from the mistakes you will inevitably make.

If you worry constantly, you are being drained of energy that makes you less prepared to deal with difficult situations when they happen.

Join me and let's think about ways to satisfy our need to be prepared without all the worry!

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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The post Stop worrying about making mistakes [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

It is easy to think that being skeptical and careful is a good thing. However, by being constantly on guard, you are closing yourself off to new opportunities and actually wasting your time by not trusting others.

This skepticism is costing you enjoyment and your dreams by slowing down your thoughts.

Today, we're talking about releasing skepticism and letting yourself be more open to trusting yourself and others. When we are skeptical, we place roadblocks that slow us down and close off our ability to seize our dreams and live life to the fullest. I want to share some ways you can still think critically without being overly cynical about situations.

When you find the middle ground between skepticism and gullibility, you can be careful without letting life pass you by.

Listen in and think with me as we dive into how to be less skeptical in our relationships. By releasing your cynicism, you can be more open to new experiences and can get out of your own way on the path to joy and success!

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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The post What skepticism is costing you [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

When we are anxious or self-conscious about how others perceive us, we can sap the energy from the people around us, and more often than not, people don't like that. However, we might not recognize that the energy that we bring into a situation is what is pushing others away.

Trying to be perfect in everything you do over-taxes your system and takes away from the enjoyment you receive from others.

On this episode, we're talking about identifying and changing our own energy vampire tendencies. By being deliberate about the way we approach connection with others, we can create healthier relationships and stronger connections.

We can choose what energy we bring into situations; we don't have to be energy vampires full of worry.

Tune in and think about how we can be more deliberate about what's going into our brains. Through confidence and compassion, we can find more enjoyment in the imperfections of the everyday.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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Oftentimes, we feel like we aren't fully engaged in our lives, be it because of social media or not wanting to leave our comfort zone. It can feel safer on the sidelines, but it can be painful just waiting for things to come to us on their own.

Getting off the sideline can be difficult, but once we are on the stage of our lives, it is incredibly empowering to actively pursue our passions.

On today's show, we're talking about what we can do to take a more active role in our lives and how you can overcome the fear of being uncomfortable. I want to share some thoughts on how to show up and learn from new challenges.

When you fully show up to any uncomfortable situation, you give yourself the opportunity to grow, even if it isn't something you do permanently.

Join me as we take center stage in our lives and can learn to grab hold of our goals with intention!

I have a private coaching spot opening in October 2019. Click here to learn more and apply.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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The post Sitting on the sidelines of your life [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

Back when I did live radio, I had Simon Sinek on my show and it turned out to be one of the most impactful interviews I ever did. In that interview, he helped me understand why I am the way I am and why the work I do is so important to me.

When we understand the deeply ingrained stories behind why we do our work, we can start to be more intentional about how we show up to those we're helping.

For me, I learned that the most important thing was being authentic with those around me, being upfront about what I think and value and being able to trust myself and others enough to share those things.

Once you start to trust in yourself to be authentic, you will live the truths that you are meant to.

Join me on today's show as we think about our why and how you can show up completely for those you love.

I have a private coaching spot opening in October 2019. Click here to learn more and apply.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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The post What Simon Sinek revealed to me [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

We are all driven by this idea that, if we achieve our goals, we will finally have it all and be safe and complete. However, when we reach these goals, we are often left feeling like we didn't achieve anything at all.

Behind every goal, there is an unspoken promise we make that it will somehow make everything perfect, but it's often a false story that lets us down.

On today's show, we're taking a harder look at these promises, figuring out where they come from and what we think they'll bring us.

We make promises to ourselves that accomplishments in parenting, work, and relationships will make us complete and safe, but they often lead to us wanting more security.

Lean in and work with me as we unravel these promises and find new ways to allow the world to be messy.

I have a private coaching spot opening in October 2019. Click here to learn more and apply.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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