From the time we’re young, we’re taught to value what other people think of us. We want our teachers to like us, our coaches to be proud of our effort, and our friends and family to like us. We want them to believe in us, but we aren’t taught to put the same emphasis on believing in ourselves.

We have it all backwards. Believing in ourselves is what will sustain us. Other people believing in us is a treat – but their belief won’t prop us up forever. 

I experienced this first hand in my swimming career. I had to shift from depending on everyone else’s belief in me into true self-belief. That’s when I started to swim to my full potential.

This happens in all areas of our lives. Once we start to truly believe in ourselves, the possibilities really open up for us. 

In this week’s episode, I want to talk in-depth about getting other people to believe in you vs. believing in yourself. I’ll share some of my stories about self-belief with you and tell you how I learned that believing in myself was the missing ingredient to my success. And we’ll also talk about why leaning on other people’s belief can be another way for us to hustle for worthiness, instead of believing that we are worthy from the inside out.

LISTEN HERE

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Do you ever find yourself planning something with friends or family, and it seems impossibly difficult? We think to ourselves, “It’s not supposed to happen this way. It’s supposed to be easy!” We give up before we’ve even started, all because of this story.

We use this idea – “it’s not supposed to happen that way” – in all sorts of arenas. It keeps us from connecting with our friends, speaking up for ourselves at work, or carving out time for a new mindfulness routine.

Connection is hard. Speaking up for yourself is hard. Prioritizing your own needs is hard. The narrative that these things should be “easy” isn’t serving anyone. 

It takes vulnerability to put out an invitation to your friends – what if they can’t make it? What if they don’t want to make it? But the connection that you want is on the other side of vulnerability. You have to be brave + determined if you’re going to push through the “hard” parts and get to the other side.

In this episode, we’re breaking down the idea that “it’s supposed to be easy” and talking about why all the great things we want require some vulnerability + effort. I’ll remind you why people want connection, why it’s not so easy to find a want match with other people, and how you can manage your mind so that you can connect with others more often and more deeply.

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I want to talk about shame on today’s episode, because this is something that we all deal with. I know when you’re caught in a shame spiral, it feels so isolating. But I promise that every single one of us deals with shame. Shame has a grip on many of our lives + drives so many of our actions.

The reason shame is so devastating is that it jeopardizes our place of love and belonging. We employ a variety of tactics to numb our shame: we try to fit in. We approval whore. We gladiate. We do everything we can to run away from shame and keep up the appearance that everything is fine.

Shame doesn’t have to control us. When we understand shame and stop running away from it, we can empower our lives. 

We all want to feel worthy. But to get to worthiness, we have to pass through shame. That takes courage and vulnerability. We have to be brave to live on this earth!

Courage is the one thing that will allow us to truly combat shame + embrace vulnerability.

In this week’s podcast episode we’re diving deep into shame and why courage is the only real antidote for it. We’ll talk about why it’s important to remember that we all deal with shame and discuss some of the ways we confront it. We will also chat about why things outside ourselves – like money, jobs, and accolades – can never banish shame from inside of us. And finally, we’ll dive into courage and why it’s the only true way to move through shame and come out on the other side into a life we love.

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We all struggle a lot with belonging. Many of us try to push away our desire to belong, to feel like we are part of a place or group that truly accepts + loves us for who we are.

Every single one of us feels the need to belong. It’s a fundamental human experience.

I’ve been thinking about the many places I’ve tried to create belonging: swim team, my business, my family, and this show. Everyone wants a place to show up, including me! So I’ve tried to create belonging everywhere I go.

But a lot of us aren’t sure how to belong in the first place. Are we supposed to fit in? Are we supposed to be on our best behavior and make sure everyone likes us?

The real key to belonging is courage. 

In today’s episode I’m talking about belonging and why it’s such an important part of all of our lives. I’ll share how you can reflect on the places you already belong, create new ones, and talk about why courage is an essential part of building a place where everybody feels like they belong.

It isn’t always easy, because sometimes we have to have courageous conversations and set boundaries. But the sense of belonging we get is always worth it.

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Most of us think that our strengths are what take us everywhere in life. We think that working hard, going above and beyond, and sacrificing ourselves for others are the strengths that will give us the results we really want.

But for over-achievers, those “strengths” can quickly turn into our biggest weaknesses.

When your biggest “strengths” are rooted in the fact that you never feel enough, those “strengths” become weaknesses. 

Over-achievers really dial up their great work ethic and their desire to help others. They dial them up so much that they exhaust themselves and become resentful. They chase a feeling of enoughness that will never come from external rewards or approval.

It doesn’t have to be like this, my friend. The solution is to dial it back. Instead of being an over-achiever, be a high-achiever.

High-achievers put in 100% for the work day, then switch off and enjoy down time. High-achievers strive for excellence, but they don’t hustle for worthiness.

This episode is a great, quick check-in for my over-achievers out there. I’m talking all about how to recognize the signs of over-achieving, how to dial it back, and how to do all the things you want to do while still taking great care of yourself + your relationships.

LISTEN HERE

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A long time ago I eliminated the word “perfect” from my vocabulary. I had learned that perfection is the birthplace of shame, and that when we strive to be perfect we actually have to hustle harder while feeling worse. I planned to take “perfect” out of my vocabulary so I didn’t feel like I (or anyone I was talking to) needed to be it.

But I realized that I just replaced “perfect” with words like “productive” and “efficient” – which meant I was still trapped in the lie of perfection.

Why do we all want to be perfect?

Because we think that if we are, we will be safe. We will be accepted. We will be loved.

But that is the lie of perfection – because we never can be perfect (since we are messy, flawed human beings), we teach ourselves that we never can be safe, accepted, or loved as we are.

All of us (super successful people included) fail and make mistakes. We don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.

Today I’m talking about how perfectionism can sneak into our brains and why perfection is a lie. We’ll also dive into why all successful people have big failures and make mistakes yet continue to move forward. And I’ll share some beliefs that you can try on and rinse + repeat to help you let down your armor of perfectionism.

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Today we’re going to be challenging our cultural programming + our brains. This is especially true for my high achievers out there. I want you to get off the hamster wheel and start living your dream life. And for you to do that, you need to slow down my friend.

It is possible for you to stop hustling and struggling. In fact, you have to if you want to do more, be more, and live more. 

High achievers feel like their insides don’t match their outsides. While they might look intelligent, successful, and happy on the outside, inside they are drowning in shame, self-doubt, and impossible expectations. So to try and feel better, they do more and more and more.

Adding more to your plate is never going to make you feel like you are enough. To finally stop running on the hamster wheel, you need to learn how to do less.  

In this episode I’m talking about how to remove the crap around yourself, stop hustling, and start living a better life. We will dive into why high-achievers have such a hard time feeling content and talk about what you can do to start actually feeling better now. And we will talk about why you need to learn to do less of the things that don’t matter and prioritize the things that do.

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I want to talk about a particular pet peeve of mine this week: the idea of life balance.

For a long time, I totally bought into the idea that we could achieve life balance. A lot of my clients do, too – the idea of life balance is like catnip for high-achievers.

That’s because achieving “life balance” is just another way that we’re trying to be perfect.

When we try to have a balanced life, we’re chasing a fleeting feeling. It’s like a teeter totter – you’re only every balanced for a split second before things change again! So if we’re chasing after that brief feeling, we’re setting ourselves up for failure, because most of the time we’re going to be feeling out of balance.

We’re better off creating a flow state in our lives. We can embrace the evolution, growth, and discomfort that this flow state has to offer, and let go of “balance” and perfection.

In today’s episode I’m diving deep into why the idea of life balance is such a pet peeve of mine. I’ll tell you why this is just another way for us to get caught up in perfectionism and shame. We’ll also talk about why discomfort and growth is essential if we want to have resilience in the face of the difficult things life will throw at us. I’m inviting you to escape the trap of life balance and instead go after your wildest dreams. Tell me how it goes!

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Welcome to a new decade everyone! I am so excited for what this new chapter has in store, for me and for all of you. I’m so grateful that you’re here.

I wanted to kick off 2020 by talking about one of life’s inevitable feelings: disappointment.

People are so afraid of disappointing themselves and others that they give up on their dreams.

It does NOT have to be this way… we will encounter and feel disappointment in our lives no matter what. It’s an inevitable part of the process, especially when we’re stretching ourselves and growing past our old limits. We don’t have to give our fear of disappointment so much power over us.

Disappointment is just a thought, feeling, or story. 

Listen in to this episode as I share several stories about avoiding disappointment and why it’s so unnecessary. If you’re willing to face your disappointment and remember that you’re just telling yourself a story, you’ll be able to push past uncomfortable feelings and blow your own mind. That’s what I want for you in 2020 my friends!

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

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During our day-to-day, we experience little frustrations or bothersome recurrences that prevent us from working at our best capacity and keep us from being our happiest selves. While they can be subtle, the impact they have can be a large toll on your brain juices.

By engaging in a curious mindset, we can be more receptive to new solutions for old problems.

Today I'm talking about learning lessons from the everyday things around us, and how we can approach problems differently to radically change our lives. I want to share a recent client success story that really epitomizes what a different perspective can do and how you can approach problems in a similar way.

Being willing to accept new ideas and advice can give you a stroke of imagination that can revolutionize the way you think about your problems.

Tune in and learn about how you can intentionally eliminate the little worries and bothers so you can be happier and more capable of growth!

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in Apple Podcasts. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

LISTEN HERE

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