In this powerful episode of How to Find (& Keep) A Gay Man, The Matts delve into the heart-wrenching journey of Matt Heincker’s battle with overwhelming despair and suicidal thoughts as a closeted gay man in college.

As he stands on the precipice of darkness, contemplating the end, Heincker finds himself grappling with his identity and the fear of rejection from those he holds dear. Yet, amidst the turmoil, he discovers a glimmer of hope – a love that transcends human understanding, a love that refuses to let him go.

Join us as we explore the transformative power of loving ourselves, the resilience of the human spirit, and the unwavering presence of a higher power guiding us through the darkest of nights.

WE ARE BACK!!!! And we’re thrilled to announce the return of "How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man" for its much-anticipated SEASON 2.

Join hosts, Matt Bays and Matt Heincker, as they bring

Matt Bays recounts his global adventures alongside his

Meanwhile, Matt Heincker has been diligently cultivating his

We also delve into the power of curiosity and how it serves

Stay tuned as we navigate these conversations with heart,

In this thought-provoking episode, we delve into the intricate dance of maintaining autonomy while fostering deep connections in our gay relationships. Join us as we unravel the complexities of balancing independence and togetherness, exploring how codependence and attachment styles impact our romantic journeys.

The Matts share insights on striking the right harmony between personal growth and shared experiences. Through candid discussions, they uncover practical strategies for nurturing a healthy partnership while respecting individual identities.

From examining the role of communication in setting boundaries to understanding the impact of various attachment styles, this episode serves as a valuable guide for gay men seeking to find (& keep) their gay man. Whether you're navigating the early stages of love or looking to reignite the spark in a long-term commitment, you'll gain a deeper understanding of how to forge a lasting connection while embracing the beauty of self-discovery.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠ website.

In the episode The Aging Queen, Matt & Matt delve into the poignant topic of aging anxiety within the gay community. They candidly explore the fears, challenges, and emotional dynamics that arise as gay men confront the prospect of growing older.

Listeners will hear personal stories as The Matts recount their experiences grappling with societal pressures, beauty standards, and the fear of losing their identity as they age.

This episode ultimately aims to provide comfort, insight, and a sense of community for those navigating the complex emotions surrounding aging within the gay community. You’ll leave with a deeper understanding of WHY gay men are obsessed with youth and beauty, and also with practical strategies for cultivating self-acceptance and resilience.

Mental health struggles are also discussed.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠ website.

On parts 1 & 2, the Matts debunked biblical scriptures about “the sin” 🙄 of homosexuality and also shared their personal stories on how the church kept them stuck, living as heterosexuals while they were closeted, super gay homosexuals. 🥳

Now, in this final installment of “The Lord is My Shepherd and She Knows I’m Gay,” they talk about viable options for moving forward spiritually. What does reconstructing your faith look like? Or are you looking to be religiously unaffiliated and do life without religion?

With over NINETY YEARS of religious teaching between them (no lie), these two queerbies have successfully navigated and overcome the f*cked up fundamental waters of religion. And with their experience, has come wisdom and compassion for the many who are still struggling to find their way.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠ website.

On part 2 of “The Lord is My Shepherd, and She Knows I’m Gay,” the Matts talk about the impact of being raised in a non-affirming christian environment by sharing their personal stories.

They discuss their conservative church upbringing, the pursuit of “healing” their sexual orientation as young gay men, the negative impact of conservative christian therapy, suicidal ideation, and how they finally made peace with themselves by making the decision to live as their most authentic gay selves.

Surprisingly, they also speak with gratitude of the parts of their church experience that impacted them for the good.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠ website.

Combined, the Matts have over 90 years of church experiences insisting that who they are (gay) is wrong. But they have moved into full acceptance of themselves.

In this first installment of a three-part series, The Lord is My Shepherd, and She Knows I’m Gay, Matt and Matt take on the one issue that has plagued queer people since gay dinosaurs roamed the gay earth…

RELGION.

They tell us what the bible really has to say about homosexuality, discuss how religious shame has kept gay men stuck for eons, and show us how to finally move past it. Also, they go after the religious right’s conservative take on the LGBTQ+ community, and (while using the bible itself) show us how and why they adopted such a narrow way of thinking.

You’ve heard the “clobber passages” of what God allegedly thinks of gays and what their punishment for being gay will one day be. Now it’s time to hear the truth they don’t want you to know.

And it is beyond time to find the spiritual confidence to say without hesitation: “The Lord is My Shepherd, and She Knows I’m Gay.”

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

Welcome to our LAST EPISODE OF PRIDE, BITCHEROONIES! We are talking about CHOSEN FAMILY.

Do you have one? Why do you NEED one? How do you BUILD one?

Many of us lost our family or friends when we came out. And even for those of us who didn’t, we may not be able to fully be ourselves around family—to talk about our BIG GAY LIVES because there is level of discomfort surrounding the issue.

Enters chosen family.

The Matts discuss what this looks like personally, for each of them. They also discuss the homophobia and rejection many of us still face, which has led us down a path of looking for safe people to share our lives with…our triumphs and failures, our joys and dark nights of the soul.

And prayer time this week…it is powerful! It's an opportunity to make peace with ourselves and quite possibly with those who continue to live apart from us because of who we love.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

It’s STILL Pride, bitches! And in this episode, the Matts tackle the complicated subject of TOXIC MASCULINITY.

What is it? How have we been impacted by it? What does it mean to be a “real man” and what does authenticity have to do with it?

And the BIG question: How are we STILL changing ourselves or our behavior (trying to be more or less masculine than we actually are) to be accepted by those who, once upon a time, told us we weren’t real men?

Matt H will tell you how his perception of his ideal gay man has changed. And Matt B treads on thin ice while trying like hell not to be offensive as he describes

Looking for links to the content mentioned in this episode? Check the links below!

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

LINKS TO CONTENT FROM THIS EPISODE:

Let There Be (She) Music Video, Matt’s new drag queen anthem with Blair St. Clair of RuPaul’s Drag Race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdPMpEeVIe0

Interview with Fox News about Let There Be (She): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZTHQe7kedw

Podcast appearance on Dumb, Gay Politics, with Brandy Howard and Julie Goldman

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dumb-gay-politics/id1181557793?i=1000617801060

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MJUFldqTubiOvm7b8s4tS?si=6686209ff6dd449f

Let There Be (She) song recording: https://open.spotify.com/track/0P4E1zT6grYIsajzdU4hEO?si=9eed571b2a634b20

It’s PRIDE, bitches! For the month of June, How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man has changed its name to How to Find (& Keep) Our Gay PRIDE. Each week we’ll be focusing on an aspect of PRIDE that has impacted our lives.

In this episode, we’re serving a little PRIDE history, being proud of who you are no matter who you love, and fighting homophobia. (The category is…knife fight eleganza!) Also… WHAT IS YOUR GAY SUPERPOWER?

And finally, we will tell you EXACTLY why you should attend your local PRIDE celebration.

Don’t miss prayer time at the end of the episode, where Matt B reads a very vulnerable excerpt from his memoir: Leather & Lace (A Gay Man, Lost Love, and a Road Trip with His Dead Sister.)

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.