A survey on love and forgiveness reported that each year in the United States there are over 300 million Google searches on the topic of forgiveness, while 62% of Americans strongly agree that they need more forgiveness in their personal lives.

Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community has brought challenges that have opened the door for resentment and bitterness in our lives. In former relationships and in our families of origin we’ve found ourselves hanging on to animosity, and many of us have been unable to move forward.

In episode 20, “The Power of Forgiveness,” the Matts share personal stories about their deepest wounds and perpetrators, and the power they’ve taken back as they’ve learned how to forgive. They look at the impact of unforgiveness in our relationships, in finding (& keeping) a gay man, and in our emotional and physical health. With wisdom and from experience, they discuss what it takes to let go and move on, while asking the simple question; “Are you willing to do the work?”

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

When your partner speaks to you or asks something of you, what percentage of the time would you say you are attentive? Or do you respond at all? Surprisingly, how often we honor these “bids for attention” (or don’t) reveals if our relationship will be satisfying, chronically unhappy, or if it will last.

In episode 19, The Matts discuss the Gottman Theory called, “Bids for Attention.” A bid for attention is a request from your partner for any type of positive connection; a simple request for help, the sharing of a funny meme, asking how your day was, etc.

This Gottman study determines that in order to have a successful and fulfilling relationship, we must understand how our partner is seeking to gain our attention, affection, and/or acceptance, and learn how to better fulfill these bids for emotional connection.

In The Art of Intimacy we explore the four pathways to intimacy. And we ask the question, “How do we experience mutual vulnerability, closeness without barriers, and deep abiding trust? Do you see the most real, authentic, and vulnerable places in your partner, boyfriend, or husband?

Many of our relationships do not go beyond the surface deeply enough to find true intimacy. We all have natural barriers to building and growing intimacy. But as gay men, specifically, the message of toxic masculinity is, “Do not show weakness or vulnerability,” which has led to most of our community being emotionally unavailable.

Why is this? How do we fix it? And what would it look like to have a deeply connected and intimate relationship?

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

Has your relationship become routine, monotonous, boring? Believe it or not, boredom is the silent killer of romantic relationships. So, what do we do when the relationship stops giving us life? How do we keep things mucho caliente?

In “Keeping it Spicy,” the Matts talk about what to do when the sex tapers off, the connection diminishes, and the future with our man only creates a sense of anxiety. They also discuss the three things which are paramount to staying connected.

Prepare to see their rowdy side, because when it comes to keeping it spicy, these boys put their back into it…especially in the bedroom. This episode serves the kind of All-You-Need-To-Do realness that will keep your relationship spicy with your man, so you don’t find yourself in a much less spicy relationship with Netflix.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

Welcome to Part 2 of “Body-Ody-Ody: BFF or Frenemy? Self-Love or Self-Loathe?” Body image is an issue within the gay community…period. It can be a huge barrier in your personal growth, development, and in your capacity to find and keep your gay man. In episode 16, the Matts discuss the 3 toxic things imbedded in the gay culture construct: objectification, comparison, and ageism. Also discussed are the "why” behind our struggle with body image (and the science to back it up,) how social media has compounded this issue for us, what The Matts refer to as “The Comparison Project,” acceptance of the old adage “life isn’t fair,” and the 7 ways for gay men (specifically) to have a better body image.

We go deep on this one. DO NOT MISS THIS EPISODE.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠, or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

Episode 15 is part one of a two-part series called, “Body-Ody-Ody.” Part one, “Learning to Love Our Bodies as They Are” will lay the groundwork for a two-part discussion about body image within the gay community. Our guest, Nando Rodriguez, is a Breakthrough Coach in New York City working with entrepreneurs and helping them reduce their imposter syndrome and crush self-sabotage. He shares his personal story of emerging from the 2020 pandemic with an extra 85 lbs. in tow and how he was able to “love himself in the gap.” Nando presents an empowering paradigm called Internal Family Systems (IFS) which allows us to heal our protective and wounded inner parts. Also, find out how having a CPR team (Cheerleader, Pusher, & Realist) will bring the kind of positive community into your life that every gay man needs.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠ website.

On episode 14 of the How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man podcast, join us for, “The Power of Therapy: How Doing the Work Can Change Your Life.” If you’ve been listening, no doubt you’ve heard the Matts casually throw around the phrase, “Get a damn therapist.” In this episode you’ll find out why. This discussion takes an in depth look at why therapy can be a gay man’s salvation, as well as how both of these men were forever changed by making it a top priority in their lives. Not only will they share practical insights, (how to find a therapist, funding your therapy, and why finding a therapist that’s a “good fit” is essential) but they’ll also share, through tears, deeply personal stories of what their lives were like before therapy, what happened in their therapist’s office, and how their lives have dramatically changed as a direct result of doing the work.

Is it time to do the work? This beautifully vulnerable episode could be a good jumping off point.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ & ⁠TIKTOK⁠

To watch the podcast, follow them on ⁠YouTube⁠

Or check out the ⁠How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man⁠  website.

Grab a pen, because episode 13 is all about content. We’re talking about “Situationships.”

We’ll be covering:

1. The 5 identifiers that you’re in a situationship, not a relationship.

2. When is a situationship a good thing?

3. Is it possible to transition our situationship into a longterm relationship? (And if so, how do I communicate this desire respectfully?)

4. Settling for situationships when our desire is to find (& keep) a gay man.

5. How to know when it’s time to end a situationship. And if you can’t let it go, how it could negatively be impacting your self-worth and future.

Time to do the math, babygirl. Time to ask yourself, if you desire Mr. Right, why do you continue to settle for Mr. Right Now?

For more bitchy wisdom, follow on INSTAGRAM & TIKTOK

To watch the podcast, follow them on YouTube

Or check out the How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man  website.

Open Relationships: Good or bad? A blessing or curse? A reliable way forward or an accident waiting to happen?

Over two-thirds of married or partnered up gay men in the LGBTQ+ community are involved in open relationships. But are they working?

The Matts openly discuss the pros and cons of open relationships. Will it work for you? Are you a strong candidate for an open relationship? What to watch out for? If an open relationship isn't for you, does this mean you're not "gay woke?" Are consensual non-monogamous relationships a better way of life in the gay community, or have they run their course?

Find out what the statistics, the studies, and what therapists are telling us about the biggest question of all: Will opening my relationship save it or destroy it?

For more bitchy wisdom, follow us on:

INSTAGRAM & TIKTOK

To watch the podcast, follow us on YouTube

Or check out the How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man website.

Episode 11 breaks flirting into three categories.

1. Flirting and Dating

What’s appropriate and what isn’t. What you think is working that could be working against you—subtle versus sexy. Building confidence. Using flirting to generate more than just sexual interest.

2. Flirting with Your Boyfriend, Partner, or Spouse

It doesn’t stop when you’re in a relationship. Flirting with your significant other is important. How to keep things spicy.

3. Flirting with Men Other Than Your Husband or Boyfriend

You’ve found BIG LOVE; we’ll show you how to protect it. The TRUTH about flirting outside your relationship.

For more bitchy wisdom, follow us on: INSTAGRAM & TIKTOK

To watch the podcast, follow us on YouTube

Or check out the How to Find (& Keep) a Gay Man website.