Love Intently Podcast with Sophie Kwok

How to Love Who You Are During Conflict


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Conflict resolution comes up quite frequently with my clients. I have wanted to do an episode on this for a while and I am very excited to share my ideas on loving in and through conflict. For so long it was something I was so terrified to do and be around. I hated being triggered. I didn’t like who I was during conflict. What’s been really incredible is that throughout the years I have learned to love who I am in conflict. That’s why episode 82 of the Love Intently Podcast is a solo episode about conflict resolution and 10 things that are huge for me when it comes to loving myself through conflict! 

Find your Attachment Style with this Quiz! Understanding the science behind adult attachment and how it can help us find and keep love.

In this episode of the Love Intently Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of having a strong connected relationship and actionable steps you can take right now to love who you are during a conflict. I will share 10 things that I have learned to do that have helped me personally, with examples we can all relate to. 

Key topics discussed in this episode:

  • Why you need to learn to love yourself in conflict, and why ignoring it is not the answer to your feelings of discomfort.
  • Why it’s important to understand your body and take cues from your body as to how you feel and why learning the early signs is so crucial to discovering your window of tolerance.
  • How you can look at conflict as an opportunity for growth instead of a negative thing that you must avoid at all costs.
  • When we are avoiding conflict, we are actually avoiding short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction. 
  • The incredible shift from judgment or defensiveness to curiosity in times of conflict for a healthier conversation.
  • Understanding and expanding your window of tolerance over time to better understand your own triggers and bodily response. 
  • The importance of taking responsibility for your half of the relationship instead of blaming the other person for the conflict on the table.
  • Why it is not you against the other person, but rather it’s the conflict against the people involved, and how this made a massive shift in my own life with my relationship with my parents.

You always have a choice when it comes to approaching conflict, but the ultimate truth is that when one of you wins, both of you lose. So make sure that you both win, so you both win.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on building thriving relationships with yourself and everyone around you and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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Links mentioned: 

Traci Ruble Episode: Are You in Autopilot or in Alignment? 

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Love Intently Podcast with Sophie KwokBy Sophie Kwok

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