The moment you decide to allow anybody, even family, dictate your truth, dictate what you will say or not say, you have diminished your self- worth.  In the vein of not causing harm, but just living your life. If somebody is trying to take that from you, through punishment, abandonment, withdraw, then as much as that is harmful and is a pain in and of itself, you have to ask yourself ultimately a single question: "Is the pain of not living life as who I am, better or worse than letting go of somebody who is loving an image of me, not my true self?" For me it's an easy answer; parents, friends, anybody who wants me to diminish myself so they can love me, is showing me what I already know - that is not love.