I am naturally very introverted. On a personality assessment I took a few years ago, I scored a 7 out of 100 in the area of sociability. I’d like to say that I was surprised by these results, but I really wasn’t. The rest of my scores only further revealed how introverted I am. I scored a 15 out of 100 for social events; I really struggle in social events. I scored a 40 out of 100 for crowds; the only reason my score was this high in this area is because I can blend into crowds. I scored a 19 for exhibitionist, which means I try to avoid the limelight; and I scored a 36 for entertaining, which means I’m usually direct. If I’m going to use humor, I will probably use dry humor.

I tell you all of this so that you know how stressful social settings usually are for me. Yet, I help lead many people; I’m a pastor, and I speak in pulpits regularly. It’s not that I can’t engage in social settings or don’t even enjoy them occasionally, it just means that they are usually stressful and energy-draining for me. 

I used to struggle with social intelligence. Imagine my introversion coupled with a lack of social intelligence; it created the perfect internal storm. I didn’t know how to manage social settings, and I found myself feeling very insecure in groups of people, even early in my life. Many people struggle with managing social situations, and I assume you’ve struggled with insecurities in your life as well. Keep reading, and I’ll share with you how I’ve worked to overcome this struggle.

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