How to Parent Peacefully. With the Hand in Hand Parenting approach.

The biggest gift you can give your children when they are struggling with big emotions, when they are frustrated or upset, is to be the calm in their storm.

It is your parenting superpower.

When you can come to the situation with calm, you can be the confident leader your child needs in that moment. You can model emotional regulation and help your child co-regulate with your balanced system.

If you join them in their upset, their frustration, their meltdown, their drama, then both your limbic systems go into fight, flight or freeze response. Neither of you can think well and nobody is going to be able to regulate their emotions very well.

If you aren’t able to stay calm, that’s when you start to take things personally, when you start to view your child as the enemy, you lose your perspective, you get swept away by thoughts like - “They’re manipulating me, they’re doing this on purpose, they should know better, how dare they behave like this after all I’ve done for them”.

It’s so hard not to get drawn in but that’s exactly what will be most helpful.

You stay as a compassionate observer.

In this episode I talk about seven ways you can keep your cool when your child is struggling:

If you would like to learn more about how you can bring these ideas into your own parenting then you are so welcome to join my next free Masterclass which takes place on Tuesday 8th November 2022 at 8pm UK/Ireland time (12pm PST / 3pm PST).

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and consider leaving an iTunes review. It will help this conversation reach even more parents.

I would love to stay in touch! You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @PamParentCoach and I always love to hear from my listeners.

This week I talk to Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand in Hand Parenting. 

Patty has been working with parents for 47 years. Over that time she has developed the parenting by connection approach, the five listening tools you hear me talk about on the podcast (Listening Partnerships for parents, Staylistening, Setting Limits, Special Time and Playlistening) and the Hand in Hand Parenting organisation which supports 1000s of parents around the world. 

In this episode Patty generously shares with us the story of her own childhood and how that had a profound influence on her life's work of making lives better for children and parents. Patty experienced from a very early age the impact parent stress can have on the family system and she has used that experience to guide her work with parents. 

Patty talks about how the Hand in Hand Parenting approach emerged firstly from being listened to herself and then through using the same principles to listen to children. She talks about the power of connection and the huge stress parents face in a world that doesn't support parents well. 

Patty embodies how listening to parents and children with warmth, love and respect can change the world. 

She has such deep compassion and wisdom to share with us, you are in for a real treat. 

If you would like to learn more about how you can bring these ideas into your own parenting then you are so welcome to join my next free Masterclass which takes place on Tuesday 8th November 2022 at 8pm UK/Ireland time (12pm PST / 3pm PST).

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend and consider leaving an iTunes review. It will help this conversation reach even more parents. 

I would love to stay in touch! You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @PamParentCoach and I always love to hear from my listeners. 

This week I talk about how we can support our children to cope with grief, death and dying.

We want to protect our children from grief. It is such a difficult time if you and your family are experiencing grief, if there is a death in your immediate family, a parent, a grandparent, a close family member, a friend, someone in the community - or a much loved pet.

Your child might start to ask about death or they might have some big feelings if they lose someone they love.

In this episode I talk about how we can support our children to cope with grief, death and dying. I explore:

Please share this episode with a friend who you think might find it helpful and follow me on Instagram.

This week I talk to writer, campaigner and journalist Molly Forbes. Molly is author of the book Body Happy Kids: how to help children and teens love the skin they’re in.

In this episode, Molly shares her own journey to becoming body happy and how that led to her passion to help parents and children be happy in their bodies too.

We go on to talk about a wide range of topics with lots of practical ideas to help you raise body happy kids and become more body happy yourself. We talk about:

I absolutely loved this conversation with Molly. I highly recommend following her on social media @mollyjforbes @bodyhappyorg and checking out her Body Happy website.

You can download Molly's free information pack about the UK’s National Child Measurement Programme.

Follow me on social media Instagram and Facebook @PamParentCoach

I talk a lot about connection on the podcast, it is at the heart of the Hand in Hand Parenting approach. And then I realised I’ve never done an episode dedicated to talking about connection.

So here it is - long overdue.

I often hear people ask - what exactly is gentle parenting? Or maybe they call it peaceful parenting, conscious parenting, respectful parenting or attachment parenting.

For me, gentle parenting is all about moving from control-based parenting to connection-based parenting.

Are we trying to control our children’s behaviour or are we trying to build cooperation through relationship and connection?

In this episode I discuss:

To find out more about how to bring more connection and cooperation into your family, sign up to my free Why Your Kids Won't Listen Masterclass and follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

In this week’s episode I talk about raising children who are able to stay connected to their true selves.

In this week’s episode I talk about raising children who are able to stay connected to their true selves.

I believe the only way to be truly content and satisfied in life is to be able to stay connected to ourselves and what we truly want and need in life.

When we are able to act from a place of connection to ourselves and make decisions based on what is in line with our true selves, I believe it is the best way to live a happy, satisfying and fulfilling life.

However, we often learn very early on that it isn’t ok to be ourselves. We have to change what we want or need to meet the needs of others, or to avoid disappointing others.

So how do we help our children stay connected to themselves - so they don’t have to spend half their adult life figuring that out?

In this episode I talk about:

I hope you find the episode helpful. If you want to take the next step and get the support you need to make these ideas a reality in your home then the doors are open to my Peaceful Parent School, we begin on 21st September, click on the link to learn more.

Most of us have big hopes and dreams for our children when we become parents. The type of people they will grow up to be, the type of relationship they will have with us as they grow and eventually become adults.

But so often those hopes and dreams seem to get swamped in the day to day chaos of parenting.

I believe we all hope to have a close and loving relationship with our children throughout their lives as they grow up into adults.

So in this episode I share my 10 tips to raising children who will actually like you when they grow up.

I always like to zoom out and think about the bigger picture of what we're trying to achieve with our children in terms of our long term relationship with them. Yes, we want parenting to be easier in the moment. It can be easier to tell a white lie or use a bribe to get them into the car quicker - but there is a long term cost to that. So we need to keep the long term goals in mind too whenever we have the space to do so.

And the great news is that connection based parenting builds cooperation for the right reasons - kids stay connected to themselves, they grow up to be intrinsically motivated instead of looking at what's in it for them. They feel seen, they feel heard, even when you have to say no. Their feelings are held safely, you support them through their upsets so they learn that they don’t have to hide their feelings from you.

This is the basis for a close, lasting relationship and it is exactly what we work on in my Peaceful Parent School, a 12 week transformative program shifting you from overwhelm and frustration into a calm and confident leader in your home.

The doors are now open, we begin on 21st September, click here to learn more.

You can watch the replay of my Why Your Kids Won't Listen Masterclass here

Welcome back to season 2 of the podcast!

For many of us here in the northern hemisphere, summer has come to an end and we are getting back to our routines: whether that is starting school or childcare for the first time or returning after the summer break. For those who home educate, it might be adjusting to having less friends around and finding a new routine. 

People are sharing their back to school photos on social media. Everyone is looking shiny and excited. However, if you and your child are struggling with this transition you aren't alone. We don't talk about the challenges of going back to school enough. 

We often prepare very well for school on a physical or practical level - we buy uniforms, new shoes, lunch box, stationary, whatever your child needs.

But what about preparing our children on an emotional level?

In this week's episode I discuss my nine tips to help you pack and unpack your child’s emotional backpack. These are the strategies I found most effective when supporting my daughter with returning to school. She had huge resistance to school, we battled with that for 4 years and ultimately we decided to home educate. I did everything I could to help my daughter settle in to school, but I could no longer ignore the negative effect it was having on her. I know that isn’t an option for everyone and many kids do well at school with a bit of extra emotional support. 

Listen to the full episode to hear how to implement these ideas: 

If you want to hear more about how connection-based parenting can work for you so you can find respectful strategies that really work to get your child listening - without ending up shouting, without resorting to threats and bribes, then I would like to invite you to my next Masterclass. It is on Tuesday 6th September at 8pm UK time, that is 12pm Pacific time and 3pm Eastern time.

Simply click on this link to save your seat. 

When my daughter became a toddler, I felt totally lost.

I didn’t know what I was doing.

I felt capable in other areas of my life - but family life was chaotic.

I didn’t know how to say no without upsetting her.

So I would do anything to keep the peace.

Until I got frustrated and ended up shouting.

Then I discovered practical tools that made gentle parenting a reality for me.

Six months later I was super confident as a parent.

Parenting was still intense and challenging but the shouting was under control and there was so much more laughter.

So let me share what I learned along the way so you can make this happen too.

This is the last episode in the season, I will be back in September with Season 2. 

If you would like a copy of my free guide Solving Parenting Challenges Through Play so you don’t have to overpower your child and enter into standoffs and power struggles, then all you need to do is leave a review or share this podcast with a friend or on your social media. Let me know and I will send you a copy of the guide.

Also, if you would like to learn more about putting these principles into action then come along to my next Why Your Kids Won’t Listen Masterclass taking place in September.

Follow me on social media @PamParentCoach:

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Today I am talking about the summer holidays.

You might be going away on holidays or going to visit family, or have family come and stay with you - this can add an extra layer of stress as you have to navigate those changes and relationships.

If you would like a copy of my free guide Solving Parenting Challenges Through Play so you don’t have to overpower your child and enter into standoffs and power struggles, then all you need to do is leave a review or share this podcast with a friend or on your social media. Let me know and I will send you a copy of the guide. 

Follow me on social media @PamParentCoach:

Instagram

Facebook

Visit my website