How to Survive

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 267...and kill a few people, they call you a murderer. Kill a million and you're a conqueror. Cliffhanger (1993) follows a team of mountain rescue rangers, led by the inexplicably muscly and capable Gabe, as they become mixed up in a group of thieves' plot to steal $100m from a US Treasury flight. With suitcases of money scattered across the Colorado Rockies, it's a race against time for Gabe to stop the nefarious Qualen and rescue his mountain climbing buddies. We discuss a post-Die Hard 90s schlock masterpiece, ask how well it communicates the terror of high places, break down some slightly surprising gender politics and do a deep dive into the question of whether or not Stallone can actually act at all. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Your friend just had the costliest funeral ever. Next time, 'Fear of Heights' season continues with Fall (2022).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 266...and I've never seen anything so disgusting in all my life. Scanners (1981) introduces us to Cameron Vale, a down-on-his-luck vagrant who unintentionally causes a seizure in a woman using the power of his mind. Captured by the mysterious ConSec, Cameron is brought into the murky world of Scanners, people with unusual telepathic and telekinetic abilities, only to find himself under threat from the nefarious Revok, a man unafraid to use his abilities to produce head-splattering results. We discuss a somewhat disappointing Cronenberg entry, unflattering comparisons to Marvel films and Neil Breen, ponder the best tactics for capturing mind-control warriors and ask ourselves whether the best way to introduce yourself to someone is to essentially torture them from the get-go. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: We're gonna do this the Scanner way. I'm gonna suck your brain dry! Next time, strap yourselves in for 'Fear of Heights' season, opening with campy 90s action classic Cliffhanger (1993).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 265...and the television screen is the retina of the mind's eye.

Videodrome (1983) tells the story of slimy TV executive Max Renn, who specialises in digging up obscure softcore pornography and bloody violence to broadcast to the feverish masses on his cable TV station. But, when Max comes into contact with the extreme and nightmarish violence of Videodrome, things begin to unravel, leading to hallucinations, BDSM-infused re-enactments and the transference of violent media into violent reality.

We discuss chest wound gun holsters, a prescient depiction of the anxieties and effects of violent media, dig into the most thematically-packed 90 minute movies we've ever seen, unpick a gory special effects masterclass and ponder whether, if you want to stop someone investigating something, whether it's a good idea to give them loads of information to help them do just that.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Death to Videodrome. Long live the new flesh!

Next time, it's exploding heads o'clock as David Cronenberg Season continues with Scanners (1981).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 264...and it's your coffin, my love. Enjoy it. Most of us never get to know what it feels like.

Interview With The Vampire (1994) spins a century-spanning yarn of epic proportions, following the listless slave plantation owner Louis de Pointe du Lac, as he is bitten and transformed into an immortal creature by vampire Lestat de Lioncourt. Much like a new parent, an apparently endless future of night feeds causes Louis to have an existential crisis lasting decades as he stands and morosely observes various comings and goings across New Orleans, Paris and San Francisco, eventually relating this to a journalist in the modern day for our pleasure(?).

It's a bloody diet of ham and mince as Brad Pitt sulks, Tom Cruise camps it up and a 10-year old Kirsten Dunst steals the show, in what is an unusual and somewhat misguided and often boring Vampiric fable pondering the meaning of life. We discuss blatant homoeroticism, outline the unique qualities of the vampire interviewees, question the reasoning of an exclusively rat-based diet and ponder whether we've already passed the best time in our lives to be made eternal beings. What other dark gifts might we find? There's only one way to find out.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I was mortal until you gave me your immortal kiss.

Next time, it's the start of David Cronenberg Season with Videodrome (1983).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 263...and it's actually a pretty cool place… if you're a Martian! The Lost Boys (1987) puts us into the youth culture hotbed of 1980s Santa Clara, the supposed 'murder capital' of the United States. To the newly arrived Michael and Sam Emerson the summer presents opportunities of new beginnings, new friends and new hobbies which, for Michael at least, means things like riding motorbikes, hanging from bridges, floating uncontrollably and drinking blood from an ornate ceremonial glass. If that all sounds like a classic case of vampirism then you're not alone, and Sam enlists the help of local vampire hunters Edgar and Alan Frog to kill the lead vampire and cure his brother. All good, normal stuff. We oil ourselves up and strut our stuff, saxophones in hand, to break down a beloved vampire cult classic; namecheck Coreys Feldman and Haim, Jack Bauer and Gob Bluth; question why vampires would live in California; and consider what kind of local knowledge a Grandfather should be passing on. Plus, we try to get to the bottom of Chris' hatred of 'cool' 80s cult movies. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral. Next time, vampire season continues apace with Interview With The Vampire (1994). Get in touch! [email protected]

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 262...and All you people are so scared of me. Most days I'd take that as a compliment. But it ain't me you gotta worry about now. Pitch Black (2000) tells the story of a group of spaceship crash survivors. Among them, the fearsome criminal maniac, Riddick. They promptly realise that the planet is inhabited by creatures that attack in the darkness. And unfortunately the planet is about to experience its first triple-eclipse in two decades. But luckily Riddick can see in the dark.... (honestly it's not as bad as it sounds...) Join us as we outline the value of being nice and of ignoring compasses; query the evolutionary direction of an alien race; and stress the importance of not flying through meteorites after a meteorite-related crash. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You're 79 kilos of gutless white meat, and that's why you can't think of a better plan. Next time, vampire season gets underway with The Lost Boys (1987) Get in touch! [email protected]

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 261...and I guess charisma and eyeliner go a long way. The Butterfly Effect (2003) tells the story of Evan, a college student who suffered from blackouts during traumatic moments in his childhood. When reading an old diary, he discovers he can travel back into his younger self during the blackouts, and even change what happened, radically altering his future reality. Can he engineer the perfect life, or will the flap of Evan's teenage wings cause disastrous metaphorical hurricanes for him and his loved ones? We discover the downside of revisiting an adolescent favourite, discuss the best way to approach an explosive device, outline the importance of choosing not to murder people and, most crucially, talk about why reading a traumatic diary entry makes for a terrible precursor to a one night stand. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You can't change who people are without destroying who they were. Next time, we're going back to another of our old favourites from when we were teenagers to see how well they hold up, and this time it's Chris' pick: Pitch Black (2000) Get in touch! [email protected]

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 260...and we're not as nihilistic as we look on the internet. That's just what we want you to think. Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) tells the story of Bee, who attends a 'hurricane party' at the home of her girlfriend's friends. During a game of 'bodies bodies bodies' (a game similar to murder in the dark), one of the friends is killed for real. What ensues is a treat for horror / thriller / comedy fans everywhere. We discuss the best ways to combat a bad drug experience; the merits of sleeping in a car; and whether we have in fact become old. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: The best defence is a good offence. Next time, it's I'm 14 and this is Deep Season, with The Butterfly Effect. Get in touch! [email protected]

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 259...and you don't think they're going to find them, do you? The Black Phone (2022) tells the story of Finney and Gwen, brother and sister living in a 1970s Denver suburb. Children have been disappearing, and people live in fear of The Grabber, the mysterious individual that could be responsible. When Finney is kidnapped, he finds he is able to communicate with The Grabber's previous victims through a magical phone. Meanwhile, Gwen's supernatural abilities could hold the key to finding Finney before it's too late. Sounds like a Stephen King novel, you say? You must be Joe King. We unpack a high-quality My First Horror movie that ably walks the tightrope of nastiness, discuss the best tactics for escaping a vehicle on foot, break down the safety features of 1970s freezers, and wonder whether this film features the most incompetent police officers we've ever seen. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: A man never leaves a friend behind. Next time, we're continuing our 2022 wrap-up with Bodies Bodies Bodies. Get in touch! [email protected]

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's Boxing Day, and there's a mole at the very top of The Circus... No, it's not a strange sequel to Wind in the Willows... Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) tells the story of George Smiley and all his friends as he tries to work out which one of them is a traitor, working under the pay of the KGB. (Smiley, it should be noted, is a member of the British Foreign Intelligence service, and it's generally quite bad when a member of the service is selling secrets to the Soviets). We discuss the risks of falling in love; the benefits of being likeable; and the merits of mistrusting anything that's too good to be true. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? This film was chosen by our Patron, Steve. If you want to help us decide the films we cover, head to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod and sign up to unlock bonus episodes, early launches and more! Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I bet you're the best watcher in the unit. As long as you've got your specs on. Next up we're rounding out 2022 with a few films we missed along the way. Get in touch! [email protected] Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod