How to Survive

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It's episode 242...and it could be another Jigsaw copycat.

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) tells the story of Ezekial 'Zeke' Banks, a hard-boiled detective in an unnamed city, hunting down a mysterious serial killer of corrupt Police officers in a manner not unlike everyone's favourite DIY enthusiast John Kramer, aka The Jigsaw Killer.

We wonder if the Chris Rock-ification of the Saw franchise was something anybody needed and where we go from here, discuss a surprisingly gore-lite torture porn film, question the timing of a 'Cops as victims' plot in 2021 and ask why our mysterious killer would bother with the traps in the first place instead of, say, using a gun.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: John Kramer Was Right. The Spiral: A Symbol Of Change, Evolution, Progress.

Next time, it's the first of a triple-bill of Mummies, starting with Karl Freund's The Mummy (1932).

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 241... so get over here!

Mortal Kombat (2021) tells the story of 'Cole Young', a failed MMA fighter who has a strange birthmark. The birthmark automatically means he is a champion of earth, and must defend Earth Realm in the last of ten consecutive martial arts tournaments against 'Outworld' - but not if the Outworld team and its fearsome assassins have anything to say about it!

We talk about the tournament that never was; the benefits of an assassin picking the best moment. means and moniker; and question some interdimensional treaty-writing decisions.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: The fate of Earth is in OUR hands.

Next time, we're caught in a trap: It's Spiral: from the Book of Saw (2021).

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 240...and there's nothing left.

A Quiet Place Part II (2021) continues the story started in John Krasinski's A Quiet Place, as Evelyn and her children struggle for survival in a world where a single errant noise could mean a violent death. The family meet Emmett, a fellow survivor, but he isn't convinced that what's left of the world is worth saving.

We wonder if this is one of the best horror sequels of all time, discuss swamp people and the value of socks, ponder which noises would make our heads flap open, and talk about our about our experiences making our long-awaited return to the cinema.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: the people that are left, they're not the kind of people worth saving.

Next time it's a fight to the death in Simon McQuoid's Mortal Kombat (2021).

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod

It's episode 238...and these are dangerous times.

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) tells the story of...well you can probably guess. There's about 40 minutes of story and 40 minutes of fighting and somehow the film is still 2 hours long. Make of that what you will.

It's time for titans, punch-ups on battleships, Hollow Earth (theory and practice), anti-gravity helicopters and building-sized ancient axes. What more could you ask for? A hastily put together quiz? You got it!

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: there can't be two alpha Titans.

Next time - it's Gerard Butler vs the apocalypse in Greenland (2021).

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod

It's episode 236...and I can't shake the feeling that you must have saved me for something greater than this.

Saint Maud (2020) follows Maud, a palliative nurse and evangelical Roman Catholic who believes its her Godly duty to save the soul of her athiest patient Amanda. However, as her behaviour begins to spiral out of control, we learn more about Maud's troubled past and her grandiose ideas for how to achieve Sainthood.

We break down one of the most assured horror movie debuts for many years, question the extent to which the film is about religion at all, and answer all the burning questions about the film's dramatic conclusion.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I hope you will reveal your plan for me soon.

Next time - it's time for some good, clean fun with Possessor (Brandon Cronenburg, 2020).

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod

It's episode 235 (despite what we might say in the intro)...and he calls out to the ones who need him -- the damaged ones.

Brahms: The Boy II (2020), unfortunately, continues and expands upon the wondeful story of Brahms, the doll first seen in The Boy (2016). Following a traumatic event, a family moves to the grounds of the mysterious Heelshire Estate in the hopes of a relaxing break. Little do they know what bland, frustrating and confusing events that will befall them.

We discuss dolls, a creepy groundskeeper who could probably throw a kettle over a pub, advise proper croquet mallet target acquisition and pick apart one of the most baffling twists in all the films we've ever watched. All that plus Joe's 'Boys in movies' quiz.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: sometimes it's fun to be scared.

Next time - we're watching the uplifting, hilarious Saint Maud (2020).

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*Apologies for the delay to this episode. We really did intend to kick off 2021 with a more rigorous schedule but unfortunately, as has been the case for many this last year, some less-than-ideal life events got in the way. Furthermore, neither of us were in the best circumstances when we recorded this, which may well be reflected in energy levels (or lack thereof) in the podcast. We'll be back and more bushy-tailed very soon.*

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It's episode 234...and we have both seen the same inhuman spirit.

The Nun (2018) expands the incredibly detailed and worthwhile Conjuring meta-Universe to tell the origin story of Valak, the nefarious demonic Nun from The Conjuring 2 (2016), a film which neither of Chris or Joe have seen.

We discuss Conjurings, convents, the Nun-based horror we wish this was, and ponder how much fatal exorcising can you let your main character get away with before he gets his come-uppance? The answer, it turns out, is plenty. Plus, stay tuned for Chris' diabolically terrible Nun Pun quiz.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I think being here is a mistake.

Next time - we're going back to the infamous Heelshire Estate for Brahms: The Boy II (2020)

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How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's Christmas!...and you want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. It's a Wonderful Life (1946) is perhaps the definitive uplifting Christmas film, and so what better way to sign off a universally terrible year than by listening to two smug pricks picking it to pieces?

Downtrodden and destitute, George Bailey contemplates suicide. As his guardian angel learns about George, we see the highs and lows of a life full of the ordinary ups and downs, pains and joys the world can foist upon you, and learn that however bad things seem, cheer, love and support can be found in your loved ones, your community, and your hope for a brigher future. Unless you're Mr Potter. Join us as we get painfully earnest at the end of an awful year, hail the gold standard of classical filmmaking, share our heartbreak for cinema's most honest and beloved protagonist and hope that wherever you are, whoever you are, this podcast finds you healthy and happy, with better days ahead. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You see George, you've really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away? Next time it's back to our regularly scheduled programming with The Nun (2018). Get in touch! [email protected] Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 233...and don't take it personally. They're just trying to figure out if you're a gold-digging whore. Ready or Not (2019) tells the story of newly-married Grace, who wants to make a good impression on her new husband Daniel's relatives - the mysterious Le Domas family, owners of the Le Domas boardgaming Monopoly. As is only fitting, before the happy couple start their Life together, they have a traditional family game with the newlyweds on their wedding night, but this game is less Ticket to Ride and more Ticket to Die. Can Grace Scrabble around and survive the night, or will she end up another victim of the Le Domas' arcane Operation? We cut into a slice of (sort of) wedding-themed horror, family traditions and the adherance thereof, cults, Colts, 100-second counts, and whether one should ever make a deal with the devil. Plus, stick around at the end for Joe's attempts to return to Return to Castle Wolfenstein. All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: She'll never be one of us. Next time - we did it to ourselves. It's The Nun (2018). Get in touch! [email protected] Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod