How to Survive

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod

It's episode 223...these are just things. They can be replaced.

mother! (2017) stars Jennifer Lawrence as Mother in the completely straightforward and simple story of a man and woman who live in a house. When some strangers arrive and begin to take liberties with Mother's hospitality, tensions begin to rise. What follows is an absolutely normal time with normal events and nothing out of the ordinary with no double-meaning whatsoever.

We get our metaphorrors and alleghorrorcals confused, give hypnobirthing advice, discuss unruly house parties and unruly house party guests and, above all else, take everything the film has to offer at face value with no attempt to read anything into the events and themes of the film.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I wanna make a Paradise.

Next episode is the Netflix-distributed The Platform (2020)!

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod

It's episode 222... and failure is not an option.

Happy Death Day 2U (2019) reunites us with our favourite hungover student Tree for more time-looping horror hijinks, but this time with a pop sci-fi twist. How much merit can there be in repeating the premise of a film about repeating the same events over and over? Well...some merit, as it turns out.

We offer some much-needed architectural advice, dig into some surprising emotional depth, discuss the life and future works of Christopher Landon and, most importantly, check what film our mate Joe watched on his birthday this year.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Once a douchebag, always a douchebag.

Next episode, as voted for by the patrons, is mother! (2016)

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

It's episode 221... and he said that wherever I went, he would find me, walk right up to me, and I wouldn't be able to see him

The Invisible Man (2020) tells the story of an invisible man. Or does it? Cecilia has just escaped an abusive relationship, and her ex has apparently died by suicide - but now she has the distinct feeling that she's being haunted and hunted by his invisible presence.

We suggest swinging away; creating an even playing field; and the merits of being able to accept when a relationship is over.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: if Adrian calls, tell him I can't see him.

Next episode: Happy Death Day 2 U (2019).

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

The long awaited episode is finally here. Joe sits down with his 3 month old son to discuss Stanley Kubrick's 1968 masterpiece, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and explains the film in detail even a starchild can understand. You can expect: - Stories of the film's production - 2001's place in the history of Sci-Fi - Interpretations of the film - Cooing There's even a little bit of survival chat to round off the episode. Feel free to get in touch with you thoughts on this format: @howtosurvivepod on Twitter, or email [email protected]. Chris and Joe will be back soon with a regular How to Survive episode on The Invisible Man (2020). Until then. stay safe x

A quick update from your two favourite survivors. For anyone who can't listen: - We're going to start doing the podcast again, but releasing irregularly for a while. - From May 1st the Patreon will act as a 'tip jar'. There will be a single '1$ and up' tier, and no exclusive content. Feel free to pledge as much or as little as you like. All HTS content going forward will be freely available until further notice. - All proceeds from the Patreon will go to the WHO COVID-19 Response Fund until further notice. - Joe is launching his 2001 episode this week. - We're recording our first proper episode since the hiatus - on The Invisible Man (2020) - this week. Last, but not least - we hope you're all doing okay.

Email us at [email protected] and find us on Patreon at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod

We're still on hiatus.

But guess what - we're going to the polls to decide Joe's child's first ever movie.

Download to find out more - and take advantage of the fact that we've currently disabled billing on our Patreon so you can listen to everything for free! www.patreon.com/howtosurvivepod

Get in touch: [email protected]

*Editors note: The weird echoey thing is largely gone, but there's still a bit of it. Sorry about that.*

It's a New Nightmare (1994), which tells the story of Heather Langengkamp who played Nancy in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) playing a fictionalised version of herself (the actress) playing the character again for a final time, but in the process of filming it (in the fictional world of the film) she begins to be haunted by Freddy Krueger (in both the movie she's filming, and her real life, which is a film). It is meta.

We talk about the fact that it is meta, the essentials of safe playground engineering, and the most selfish act of screenwriting ever committed to on-screen screenwriting.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I think the only way to stop him is to make another movie.

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

*Editors note: As with the Home Alone episode, we recorded this in Joe's echoey garage - so it sounds a bit weird. Sorry!*

It's Boxing Day! That can only mean one thing - we find another random Christmas film to cover because there are only really two Die Hard films that are related to Christmas. Why not cover one of the many, many Christmas-themed horror movies, given that we are a horror podcast, I hear you ask? Well, because then we wouldn't be covering the Arnie-led slapstick classic Jingle All The Way.

As you'd expect from a Christmas movie this episode is all about disappointing your family members, poor administrative application, being unable to recognise your husband at a a distance of 5ft, inappropriate handling of suspect packages and whether anyone would really hit on Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: It's Turbo Time!

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

*Editors note: We recorded in Joe's garage for the first time using unfamiliar equipment, so the audio sounds a bit spacier than usual. Apologies!*

It's Christmas! That can only mean one thing - we retread old traditions despite no-one finding the joy in them that we once had. In that spirit, we tackle the unloved, unwanted child of the Home Alone franchise - the made-for-TV Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012).

It's lumps of coal for Christmas all round as we unwrap another certifiable stinker - bland family humour, joyless retooling of traps from previous editions and, bafflingly, Malcolm McDowell as the main villain. Pour yourself a mulled wine as your two favourite podcasting Tiny Tims mull, and whine about once again ending up on the podcast naughty list.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I don't care, and I can't hear you.

Look out for another special podcast hitting your feeds on Boxing Day!

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

It's episode 219...I've had it with these...well, you know the rest.

Snakes on a Plane (2006) tells the story of cool surfer dude Sean who inadvertently witnesses a gangland murder and winds up under the protection of FBI agent Flynn. Can Flynn get Sean back to Los Angeles to testify, or will the nefarious Eddie Kim try and kill Sean before he arrives - maybe by, I don't know, filling the entire plane with horny snakes?

We flick our forked tongues over a B-movie with a Hollywood budget, Joe questions Samuel L Jackson's acting legacy and we ask whether it's possible there might just have been a simpler solution for Eddie Kim's problem than filling a jumbo jet with snakes?

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Time is tissue.

Next week, it's Christmas time, and on that can only mean one thing...

Get in touch! [email protected]

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod