By Emma Last
The podcast currently has 38 episodes available.
Human Reboot’s first episode of 2022 is with Jason Todd. Jason is passionate about making a difference and committed to Gandhi's vision of being the change you want to see in the world. Despite being without an abundance of qualifications, Jason managed to blaze a trail in the commercial world. Jason helped build a recruitment business that floated on the stock market for 22 million. He went on to establish and sell a further two recruitment consultancies before realising there was more to happiness and success than cash and flash cars and shiny things. In this episode he shares his story of chasing big things but never being very happy, so he looked at his life and focused on what he enjoyed doing. He changed and focused on the simple things. He shares his views on resolutions and goals being something that you’re going to commit to definitely something that you can build some passion into or a goal to give up, how to give up your signature moan, destination addiction - by putting off your happiness to a point in the future or musterbation ‘ I must have X then I’ll be happy’, and then what three words describe you at your best, to-do lists and to-be lists and seek out positive things.
ABOUT JASON
Jason is a Keynote Speaker and Facilitator for a group called the Art of Brilliance. Their work is based around a Doctorate in positive psychology. He gently reminds people about who they are at their best.
CONNECT WITH JASON
[email protected]
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a Change Expert who supports people navigate through challenge and change. She is qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If you would like to find out more information on the Senior Mental Health Lead - Fully Funded Training for schools
https://progressive-minds.co.uk/seniormentalhealthleadtraining
Of if you want our A4 info booklet email [email protected]or to talk through in more details please call 07970484228
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
This episode is with Jayne Hume who is a business mentor and mindset coach for health and fitness professionals. She helps them to grow impactful and profitable businesses without damaging their own health, family, and relationships. She ran her own women's health clinic for over 12 years and previously had a career in project management and business development.
Jayne talks about how she is a free-spirited, maverick sort of person yet how structure can set you free and allows you to work in your best energy.
She started her career in Aerospace project management but around the time she was thinking of having children she came to the decision that it was no longer the right path for her. So many people said “you’re throwing it all away” but that didn't feel like the case to Jayne - she ‘jumped without a parachute’. as she calls it. She believes sometimes you need to have faith in yourself and to believe that it will work out for you even if the path is different from what you may have originally pictured.
Jayne sees that parts of life aren’t wasted they are just a natural transition into something else, she talks about her more spiritual side, being brave, having real faith and belief and her tips on structure setting you free.
RECOMMENDATIONSMel Robbins - https://www.audible.co.uk/search?searchAuthor=Mel+Robbins&source_code=M2M30DFT1BkSH101514005Q
ABOUT JAYNE
Business Mentor and Mindset Coach for Health and Fitness Professionals helping to grow impactful and profitable businesses without damaging their own health, family, and relationships. She ran her own Women's Health clinic for over 12 years and previously had a career in project management and business development.
CONNECT WITH JAYNE
Instagram @Jayne_Hume
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If you would like to find out more information on the Senior Mental Health Lead - Fully Funded Training for schools
https://progressive-minds.co.uk/seniormentalhealthleadtraining
Of if you want our A4 info booklet email [email protected]or to talk through in more details please call 07970484228
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
This episode is with Jobe Neal, who helps Coaches, Consultants, and Course Creators to build their marketing system to generate more clients and close more sales. Jobe shares how his definition of success was connected to gambling and becoming a Pro-Poker player, then how he reframed his identity of success into business and how he moved from addiction and a dark time to finding a sense of purpose.
KEY LEARNS
“Instead of just trying to cut something cold turkey, if you can replace it with something productive. I think that makes more logical sense as well. Like, how much harder is it to just give something up? If you aren't putting something in its place?”
“I think a lot of people really focus a lot on the chemical side of addictions and stuff like that. I think that it's probably more important to look at the identity side, like how do you see yourself
“So you've got your mindset, your body send your skillset, and most guys really focus more on the mindset and the skillset side of things. And we do tend to ignore the other side of the feeling side of things, which is kind of more important in a way, because how can you actually influence your thoughts without addressing how you feel about those sorts, you know, on a real sustainable long term type of way? Yeah. And then, and that is something that I've noticed a lot of men do ignore, I think, I think that women are a lot better at the body set side of things”
“I found it really difficult to reach out for help when I needed it. And it was kind of more that I went more insular. And when I went into learning about things, in hindsight, I do think that there are points when I look back, that I could have reached out to maybe groups or to a coach or mentor earlier, you know, I believe massively in having that support network around you when you're an entrepreneur in business.”
“Judgement creates a barrier”
“it creates shame, automatically shuts us off, because no one wants to feel that way. So the only way to avoid that is to avoid the conversation. Why would you keep feeding someone opportunities to keep making you feel shameful, and I'm not saying to go out and encourage people, but all you really have to do is hold space”
“How can it define you in a good way, we can try and avoid all these things. And it's hard. So I suppose you want to define yourself by good events and not define yourself by bad ones. But we're defined by everything in a way, you just have to, like, find a good frame for that, you might not be able to see it right now. Because it's kind of like you're putting your hand to your face, It's not really until you take your hand away, that you can see your whole arm. So I think it's just looking at it with perspective.”
“I think that for me, it was something that I like to do to make myself feel better. But it was also part of something larger as well. I think with that whole identity thing. I think that it becomes more than just something that you're using to cope with. It's kind of more so falling into a place of comfortability.”
“For me, it's like, how do I switch off my mind so I can come back and be fresh? So yeah, I find that playing pool, which sort of, for me doesn't feel like a very mind taxing thing? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And some of that, as well, I like to play chess as well, because I can just play without having to think too much. Like if I wanted to do really well, I would focus a lot more. But it's also something that I can just play.”There's always something that comes out of a bad situation as well. And I think we've only go so much I learned from the game itself that really applies to life.” “ I've had some people say that like sales calls are extremely difficult when you first start out, but for me, it wasn't difficult at all, because I'd already sort of been in that like high roller for want of a better phrase world playing with money in a way. So getting on a sales call, it wasn't confronting, because I just looked at it as a game.”
“Practice makes perfect, and you can't expect to do a new sales call and be good at it straight away. You know, we need to practice these things. So the more you can do the better.”
“The one that I really like is if you're overthinking, write. If you're underthinking read, and if you just if you're just thinking then do both”
RECOMMENDATIONS
The Unstoppable Beacon by Anthony Hammocks.
ABOUT JOBE
Jobe helps Coaches, Consultants and Course Creators to build their marketing system to generate more clients and close more sales.
CONNECT WITH JOBE:
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jobeneal
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jobe-neal/
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training, and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If you would like to find out more information on the Senior Mental Health Lead - Fully Funded Training for schools
https://progressive-minds.co.uk/seniormentalhealthleadtraining
Of if you want our A4 info booklet email [email protected]or to talk through in more details please call 07970484228
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
This episode is with Tasneem Ali, she is an Authentic Leadership Coach and helps ambitious introverts get out of their own way and grow their career by creating an authentic leadership presence. Her mission is for leaders to create a ripple effect that affects their own lives but impacts the lives of those around them. Tasneem's is a high achiever and her story goes back to 4-5 years ago when she felt there was something pulling her down, she lost her excitement for her work. A few months later she realised that she had been hiding her feelings, she sought help from her GP but it wasn’t that until she realised that it wasn’t the depression that she had been diagnosed with but was that she had lost the meaning in her work.
She got a coach, and this is when her life started to transform when she realised what was missing was making a true impact. Impact one life at a time. About 3 sessions in she realised that she could impact lives with her experience through coaching, which is something she has now gone on to do on a part-time basis.. How do you make your corner of the world just a little better.
We talk about coaching, impacting other people's lives, finding your flow, authenticity, introversion, making your corner of the world just a little better, and putting people first.
RECOMMENDATIONS
https://www.amazon.co.uk/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life-ebook/dp/B07D464KPY
ABOUT TASNEEM
Tasneem is an Authentic Leadership Coach and helps ambitious introverts get out of their own way and grow their career by creating an authentic leadership presence. Tasneem works with individuals and organisations on a 1:1 basis as well as offers group coaching, training & workshops as well as talks to empower people's thinking for powerful action.
CONNECT WITH TASNEEM
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tasneem-ali-5b25306/
https://www.facebook.com/FerventLivingLtd
https://www.instagram.com/ferventliving_ltd/
EMAIL: [email protected]
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training, and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If you would like to find out more information on the Senior Mental Health Lead - Fully Funded Training for schools
https://progressive-minds.co.uk/seniormentalhealthleadtraining
Of if you want our A4 info booklet email [email protected]or to talk through in more details please call 07970484228
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
David shares his reboot story, his tips about gratitude and kindness, and then how he has gone on to change his career to focus his energies on helping individuals and organisations develop strategies to change cultures and approaches towards mental health and wellbeing. He works with schools to help them to develop a whole-school approach to mental health and wellbeing, ensuring wellbeing is in the DNA of the school so that both teachers and pupils can flourish. He is passionate about ‘smashing the stigma’ surrounding poor mental health and changing the narrative for those suffering in silence.
ABOUT DAVID
David Leech is a partner at Crusaider First Aid and Mental Health & Wellbeing, an organisation offering training and coaching to adults and children in both physical and mental health.
CONTACT DAVID
https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-leech-431b0b1a2/
If you would like to find out more information on the Senior Mental Health Lead - Fully Funded Training https://progressive-minds.co.uk/seniormentalhealthleadtraining
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If you would like to find out more information on the Senior Mental Health Lead - Fully Funded Training https://progressive-minds.co.uk/seniormentalhealthleadtraining
Of if you want our A4 info booklet email [email protected]or to talk through in more details please call 07970484228
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
This episode gives some little teasers from episodes 24-31. It covers toxic relationships, money mindset, Mental health in the workplace, baby loss, depression, Transawareness, women balancing it all and we all have a story to tell.
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If would like to find out how you can improve your wellbeing and results in your business or to find out more about my Rapid Resilience reboot book a free call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
This episode is with Rachel Maunder, Rachel works with people who want to learn how to craft their stories for speaking, helping them to find and craft their stories for greater engagement, and ultimately, more business. She believes we all have a story that we all sit on a mountain of extraordinary ordinary everyday stories that illustrate a point that you're wanting to make, they are every bit as valuable as those other bigger stories. She shares how she found her authentic self after comparing herself to her sister for many years and some great tips on how she flourishes in life.
KEY LEARNS
“I was only four years old. Because literally in those days, you started school in the term in which you were going to turn five, and I'm a June baby. So I started after Easter. So I'd only been there two or three weeks. And I was enjoying it, you know, I was the third of three children. So I was more than ready to go to school when it was my turn. But what happened was, I know this doesn't happen in schools now. But our toilet block at the primary school was out in the playground. So if you needed to go from the classroom, you would have to go out of the building on your own to the loo block and make your way back in. And so after I came out of the loo block, I looked around and there was nobody about; not even the caretaker. And I just thought, ‘I could go home. Who's going to stop me'. And off I went. And the point that I tell that story to illustrate is that as a four-year-old seeing an opportunity, I didn't give a single thought to the fact that I had four roads to cross. It was a 10-minute walk from the store to my house with four roads to cross. I didn't even think - Would my mum be at home or not, which she wasn't. I didn't think about how worried people would be or that my class teacher may or may not get into trouble for not keeping a close enough eye on me. I didn't give any of that a thought. And my point was that as we get older, particularly as women, I think we start to put all those blocks in of maybe I shouldn't because I might get run over? Or what would I do if my mum's not at home? So yeah, that's the little story that I tell and I tell loads of little things like that. They're inconsequential.“
“So it's a long time ago, I was living on the outskirts of London, working for one of the Inner-London Boroughs. I loved my job, was living in my own flat that I had recently bought. I had a very busy social life. So on the surface, everything was absolutely fine. And I was really surprised to wake up on a Monday morning, feeling, I can't get out of bed today. And I'm not somebody that's prone to that kind of feeling at all, it really took me by surprise. And I knew that therefore, it was something a bit different, but I didn't quite understand what it was. And I somehow knew intuitively that it wasn't just a day off that I needed. I needed, maybe a week or whatever. So I phoned the office and spoke to my line manager who happened to be a woman, and I don't know what the rules are now. But at the time, you could self-certify for up to eight days. I think it was and she said, Well, what do you think is wrong? I said, Well, I just feel absolutely exhausted. I don't know what it is, I just can't come in. And she was surprised because as I say, that's not something that people expect from me or that I did either. Then she took her line managers hat off for a moment and said, Rachel, I would just advise you, if you are taking time off for something that is essentially emotional or a mental health issue, that you go and see a doctor so that if anything comes back on this, you have been to a doctor and taken it seriously, which was the furthest thing from my thoughts, to be honest. But I thought okay, well, I better take her advice. So I did luckily for me, I think because I saw it as a tick box exercise really to have been to see the doctor because I thought oh, he's probably going to offer me some antidepressants or something which I absolutely do not need or want to take. But actually, what he said was what are you hoping I can do for you? So I was so taken aback by that I said, Well, I was hoping you might be able to refer me for some counseling, which is what happened. You had to wait a little while to get that counseling appointment. I was living in London at the time and working for the London Borough of Southwark, which is where the Maudsley hospital is so in a sense, it was our local hospital, but that kind of freaked me out a little bit because in the south of England, the Maudsley hospital is one of the major psychiatric units. It's literally across the road from King's College Hospital. So it's a big teaching psychiatric hospital, but it kind of freaked me out that that's where I was going for these counseling sessions. But so I went along, went to my first session, and didn't know what to expect. I had never been for anything like that before and just sat there for a while. And there was the counselor plus he had a student sitting with him, and they didn't say anything. And I thought, well, this is a bit weird. So eventually, I said, Are you expecting me to start? And he said, Are you expecting something else? Anyway, in the end, and I don't know where this came from, it was the first time it had even come into my head. But I heard myself saying yes, I am absolutely exhausted from trying to be like my sister. And that really took me aback. So my sister is two and a half years older than me, we are very, very good friends and very, very close and kind of always have been, but she was always a sweet, kind, gentle person. I was a bit more feisty, a bit more of a go-getter. A bit more outspoken. I was the sporty one, all of that stuff. And my dad used to nickname me, I don't know why as Hard Annie. He used to call me Hard Annie. And it was certainly in his eyes that I felt I fell very short of those qualities that my sister had, and everybody loved my sister. She was always nice, whereas you know, sometimes I could perhaps be a little bit awkward as a teenager because I would come out and say what I thought was cool. She never really did that. I guess she knew when to be quiet as well because it wasn't that she necessarily thought any differently from me, particularly on politics and things like that, but she knew it wasn't worth the squeeze as it were to say it. So that whole episode kind of started me on my journey to find who I was, I suppose, because what I realised through those counseling sessions was that I didn't need to be like my sister. I was fine as I was. And I understand that on an intellectual level. And of course, there is that lovely quote saying you can only be you because everybody else has taken. But you know, it's an ongoing journey.”
“This is why I suppose bullying is something that can be so damaging in terms of mental health, it can stay with us and impact our confidence for many years to come. It may not be intentional, and it may depend on where our mindset is, at that time when we were a child as to whether we interpret it as something that is deemed to be bullying or not, or whether it's deemed to be just something that we are very sensitive to.”
“I suppose it's this whole curiosity about why we are as we are. The first thing I wanted to study when I was doing my A’ levels was psychology. So I've always had this interest in what makes us different. I didn't in the end study psychology as such, but my first proper job, if you like, was working with juvenile offenders out of curiosity about what it is that goes on that makes a child become an offender. So there was all of that. But on the back of that, I then trained and became a counselor, and then became a coach. So always that thing of wanting to help people explore why they are as they are was there. And then as coaching came more into my life, I don't think it was any accident.”
“Counselling, if you like, looks back to see why we are as we are, whereas coaching looks forward from where we are, and how we are going to get where we want to get. And when you're busy with young children in particular, actually, we haven't got time to look back and worry about why we're in this pickle that we're in, it's like, how are we going to get out of it, we went forward. And it kind of really reflected where I was in my own life in that sense. Also, of course, when you look back on the counseling thing it has more of a pathology with it. Whereas coaching is, it doesn't have that stigma, if you like, which, sadly, is still around for some people, although I think it's improving massively, but I think there is still a little bit of a stigma in some people's minds around counseling and the mental health treatments.”
“I moved to work with women in the industries and professions where they're underrepresented at leadership, again, wanting women to step up and be on an equal plate with the men never about wanting, you know, men pushed sideways or anything because I could always see the balance between the masculine energy and the feminine energy, but just really wanting women to be the best they could be.”
“It is your story that makes you ‘you’ and when you share your story, and this is the same for you. And for every listener to this episode, when you share your story, somebody else needs to hear it and they will make a change in their life. Because they'll identify with what you say. That change might only be a tiny, tiny little step, but who knows where that can take you, what that can trigger and where it leads to. So yeah, it is all about being that authentic. You be proud of your story because it will help somebody else.
“I'm a Gemini, and therefore I can always see the other side of a situation, which mostly is a huge blessing and a huge asset, I think. But it can be a curse because sometimes my friends don't want to look at the other person's side of things when they're upset with somebody. Therefore my message would always be there's always another way of looking at a situation. So whether that's about what was going on for somebody when they said something really hurt or did something really hurt for or whether it's a situation where you feel you're up against a wall, there's always that question, How else could I see this? What else? You know, what else could I do to get myself out of this? So that I think has served me really, really well.”
“The other thing is something that I used to say to my kids, particularly regarding education and job applications was keep saying yes until you get to a stage where you need to give a no because who knows what opportunities keep coming as a result of that.”
“I think certain books resonate with us at certain times, don't they? It's a little bit like that saying, the right teacher appears when we're ready to learn the lesson.”
RECOMMENDATIONS
Focus on Why Podcast with Amy Rowlinson
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/focus-on-why/id1510330149
The Athena network. https://www.instagram.com/athenawarks
The professional speaking Association. https://www.thepsa.co.uk/
The road less traveled by M. Scott Peck https://www.amazon.co.uk/Road-Less-Travelled-Arrow-New-Age/dp/0099727404
Becoming by Michelle Obama https://www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Michelle-Obama-ebook/dp/B079Z661B7
ABOUT RACHEL
Rachel works with people who want to learn how to craft their stories for speaking, helping them find and craft their stories for greater engagement and ultimately more business.
Originally thinking she didn’t have a story to share, Rachel gradually came to see the value in her own story and in ordinary everyday stories. An experienced coach and trainer, she has developed her unique and simple StoryCRAFT process to help others do the same.
She is an active member of the PSA (Professional Speaking Association continually works to develop her own skills both as a speaker and a coach.
CONNECT WITH RACHEL
Details of Rachels online program Story Telling Made Simple, which follows the Storycraft process: https://www.rachelmaunder.com/story-telling-made-simple
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkPmROrRwaS788MYXGL86fw
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelmaunder/
Facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/rachel.maunder.73/
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/rachelmaunderstorycoach
www.rachelmaunder.com
[email protected]
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If would like to find out how you can improve your wellbeing and results in your business or to find out more about my Rapid Resilience reboot book a free call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
6:49
“It all kind of came together in my early 30s. And I definitely broke down kind of mentally for a little bit. I just couldn't work out what I wanted to do. And I ended up just staying in the same world and getting therapy totally helped me to stay there. But it was one of the best things I ever did actually because I haven't really burnt out again since.”
“I felt like I wanted to investigate seeing if there was something different out there. So I sort of parted ways with them after six, seven years, and it felt like a real relief, I felt a little bit institutionalised, being at the business so long, even though I could affect a lot of change culturally, it wasn't my business, being away on maternity leave as well, which meant that had felt out of the loop as many women do when they go back to the office. And after that, I never found my groove again, in my career. I went to work for a software company in Brighton, which was fun, you know, but I wasn't as senior as I had been used to being for like six, seven years, you know, I got promoted really young and you know, I'd learned an awful lot and then I kind of lost my gun and my badge if you like for a little bit.”
10:00
“I realised I loved, the family life, I really wanted that and I would do anything to create more time and something switched definitely inside of me around that time, and I thought I might try and find another business that I can work at where I could be senior again and help them grow, like I did with the first agency I mentioned, and just do something really amazing again, you know, really, really helped take them somewhere. And I started shopping around kind of doing interviews, didn't realise as I started shopping around that, that I was pregnant with my second daughter.”
“The other option was just leaving and going to get a job at this other agency. And knowing that I wouldn't have maternity leave, right. And for some reason, for some reason, I went down that path. Because what I wanted to do was short-cut the opportunity to do bigger things, because as soon as I started to have kids, the amount of time that I had just became really obvious, I didn't have time to mess around” So I took a gamble. And I said to the person interviewing me that I'm pregnant, does that make any difference and went for negotiation. And you know, that they were able to offer me a really good package. Not great money, though and again, you know, not compared to the heady heights of London, but I say this as a really entitled, you know, like white person living in Brighton, because I'm sure some people would have appreciated the salary. But again, I had these big ambitions. I thought it's okay. It's a startup vibe, I'll help grow it. And you know, I'd managed to negotiate like, you know, 12 weeks of maternity leave, I thought this would be fine. Right? This will be fine. So what started was the beginning of another burnout. That didn't happen. This was a burnout, that wasn't a burnout.”
“I went into this mini maternity leave, she was overdue quite a bit. So you know, kicking around for another 10 days after my due date until she came along. And then, you know, just tried to switch off a bit. I thought I couldn't really intensely switch off but it was really unfortunate. When she was seven weeks old she managed to contract pneumonia and it was so severe actually, like (the onset of it) that we got rushed to hospital. She was intubated in the emergency room, and my husband had to be at home with my daughter. It was quite traumatic, like watching, you know, a seven-week-old like being intubated. And then she was transferred in an ambulance over to Southampton and I just sat by her side during my maternity leave until she recovered and it took 11 days for her to recover. And when she opened her eyes after she'd had the tubes taken out, it was just magical, like, just absolutely magical. It was like, “welcome back”.
“She was 11 weeks old when I went back to work. So I was back to work, husk of a shell of a woman, and clearly tired, right? Because that's what newborn babies do to you. And I got on with it, but I won't lie, grumpy, tired post-pregnant woman”
16:00
“As a woman at the end of maternity leave, you ask, can we afford nursery? How is our life going to change? Yeah, I just remember I was sitting in a stock room that was behind them, the main office where the developers worked was the only private place that I could go and sit and express milk because I had to express milk in the office twice a day. I was going to have to come back to the office more. I'd managed to negotiate working from home a couple of days a week, but that was going to end and I'd have to be back in the office pretty much every day. And it just sort of dawned on me as I was sat there in the office and all I can hear is like this express pump. There's no Wi-Fi, no 3g, no 4g, so I can't even look at my phone, right? And I'm just like, what, what have you done, Vicki? What have you done? This decision that you'd made to come work at a company help them build it up? Like, what were you thinking you could never help them? Like, you could never have helped them. It was just mad thinking that I could do that and have another baby.”
17:32
“You're meant to see your kids more. This is the whole reason why you did what you did. This isn't new, eight years ago, after that initial burnout going It's okay, you know, do a bit more yoga, take some time out, I started doing Pilates or take some time out for myself, I have more holidays, you can't do that now. And you can't do all the things and I had a real reboot moment. I was a 100% Reboot moment in that room. And I'm going to quit came in my head, I'm going to quit, I'm going to set my own business. This is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to do this on my own. And every single penny I make, we're going to make for me, I'm going to make my daughter's and I'm going to see my kids more than anyone has ever been able to let me do whilst I was working for someone else. Right and that is what drove me out of that office hiding my milk under my jumper so I didn't make anyone feel uncomfortable, right?”
18:53
“He said to me, we will make it work. We will make it work and I just, you know, I knew we could and I won't lie like the first year of business for me was hard, really, really hard and you know, slapped on a lot of personal debt, like trying to get through that first year. I didn't know what I wanted to do.”
“We've been conditioned. You know, I think there's an element of toxic positivity. When it comes to feminism, you know, we're all like we spent all of these years in the kind of like the feminist arena of saying, career first, career first, you can have everything that men have, but like what men have, or what men have had in the corporate world for those years is the women looking after the kids or the or the nanny or whatever, right? So I think we forget that, like, we can have anything the guys have, but they've had support for a really long time. That's how they've done so well. Right? So it's a total myth, 100% myth.”
25:00
“I think from our generation, in particular, we've been pushed quite hard to try and achieve the same as men, which has not been a bad thing. I feel like it's good that we've been told, you can get there. However, it's a little bit like the hustle culture from recent years really is what we should have been asking all those years as well. Do we want it? Do we actually want to push ourselves that hard? Because there is something to say, for having a slightly quieter life, a slightly more considered life. One where you enjoy, you know, simple things, the kind of pathway that I've decided to go down. It’s a simple life that isn't full of too many people. It's not complicated. There's no drama in my life, the friends I have are very pleasant people, you know, there's, again, no drama. I'm very lucky to have that, I feel like I've spent many years cultivating it.”
30:00
“I am an addict, right? I am a workaholic, I was addicted to just sitting here and just doing non-stop work, sometimes until my eyes closed, and then I would get up and do it again. And, and then you know, I realised after a while after doing that sort of pattern, that is probably not a good idea. And I need to recharge and I'm not as young and bouncy as it once was.”
30:58
“I just did that with my socials. Basically, I've switched all notifications off any notification apart from text messages, but no one text messages me apart from my husband. So like there's a nice sort of line of comms there. And I don't follow anyone on Facebook.”
32:27
“I need these boundaries in place. Right? I have on my computer, a timer app in my browser. So once I've done half an hour on Twitter, it will shut me down. It won't let me go and read it.”
35:27
“Keep it simple. Don't complicate things. I feel like as soon as I started to pack my diary out and felt compelled to keep in touch with more than like the handful of people I know. Life got complicated and boring. Protect your time, your time is the only thing that you've got control over whether you give away or not. And you've only got so many hours right before you kind of head up to the kind of big stopwatch in the sky, right. So definitely like a kind of a rule of thumb for me in terms of how I live every day, as I look at my time and think this is how I genuinely want to spend my time. If this was 100 pounds would I do this hour would I just give it away like this? And where possible. I only spend my time doing things that I love working on my business with my family. I love reading. I love really bad TV, action movies, which really annoys my husband because he does not like guns and violence. And hanging out with my cat. You know, as simple life is definitely like one I can hardly recommend you can. When you slow down, you can just appreciate it so much more. And I'm sure like that's mindfulness.”
“It's about building it and growing it, definitely now I'm in business for the process. I absolutely love it. I'm in it because of my mission, I want to help my people for sure. And you know, the fact I get to make money from that is just like a privilege and a joy. It really is. But doing it in a kind of softer calm away is also definitely something I can recommend to others.”
#worklifebalance #family #business #haveitall #feminism #business
RECOMMENDATIONS
The Chillpreneur by Denise Duffield Thomas https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chillpreneur-Creating-Success-Freedom-Abundance-ebook/dp/B07D69Z6C2/
A Company Of One by Paul Jarvis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Company-One-Staying-Small-Business-ebook/dp/B07FQ2PFNN
ABOUT VICKI
Vicki Jakes is an online marketing and website optimisation consultant helping small businesses sell more stuff via their websites.
Using her 20+ years of experience leading teams of developers, designers, copywriters, user-experience specialists, and testers for global clients, she knows her way around a website and what makes your users want to buy from you.
She also has a passion for getting us all to want to take care of our websites and not be ashamed to send traffic to it or “forget” to share the URL when asked!
CONNECT WITH VICKI
https://www.instagram.com/heyvickijakes
https://www.facebook.com/heyvickijakes
https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickijakes
https://twitter.com/heyvickijakes
people can contact me via my website: heyvickijakes.com
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If would like to find out how you can improve your wellbeing and results in your business or to find out more about my Rapid Resilience reboot book a free call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
This episodes guest is Katie Neeves she has been a professional photographer and filmmaker for 34 years, but she came out publicly as being transgender almost 3 1/2 years ago, after living for 48 years as a man. Katie formed cool to be trans to support and inspire other trans people, and also to educate others on trans issues by showing them that trans people are just ordinary people who want to be happy.
KEY LEARNS
3:36
“I was assigned a sex-based purely on my primary sex characteristics based on what was between my legs. I was assigned male at birth, and I was given the name Martin Albert Neves. So that was me labelled. However, at the age of around three or four, my head and my heart started to tell me something very different to the label I was given at birth. And one of my earliest memories around the age of three or four years was of my mum catching me trying on a pair of my sister's knickers. And I remember when I tried them on it felt so right. But then she caught me. She told me to take them off. And for every day, the following week, she would pull my shorts down, and she would check to make sure I was wearing my own pants. Humiliating, but it's sowed the seed for a very long time that what I was doing was wrong, it was dirty, it was naughty. It's not what respectable people did. The thing is, however much my mum told me off or humiliated me over this, the urge and the need to cross-dress as it was then would always be with me. I don't blame her mum for that. I mean, it was the early 70s and it's just how things were then. she's a product of a generation, so I get it. You know, I understand why she reacted that way. So don't blame her at all.”
5:16
"So throughout my childhood, I used to secretly dress in my sister's clothes whenever I had the opportunity, and whenever I did it, it felt so right. But then those feelings of feeling right but very quickly replaced by feelings of guilt and shame and self-loathing. And so every time I did it, I would promise myself that I would never ever do it again. And I tried so hard to not do it again. But every time I tried the urge and the need to dress would always come back and usually with a vengeance. So this vicious cycle went right on until my mid-20s. And so by that time I trained to become a press photographer, and I was working initially on newspapers in Kent, before moving up to the Midlands when I got a job as a senior staff photographer with the Coventry New Telegraph I stayed there for five years before leaving set up my own freelance photography and video business, which are called Martin Neves photography and film see the problem of that name gave me later on."
6:26
“Because my first wife never accepted my crossdressing as it was then, we tried counselling over it several times. But it only papered over the cracks. It never really solved the problem. But also, there's another issue in that I wanted kids and she didn't.”
8:21
"I realised I had a condition called gender dysphoria. And what that is, is a great feeling of unease and stress caused by a mismatch in how I felt in my head and my heart. My gender identity, as opposed to my primary sex characteristics and the label I've been given at birth, I think about gender dysphoria, it can vary in intensity, and it very often increases over time. And that's exactly what happened to me. But at the time, I was happy as a man who needed to crossdress, and that's all it was. So I thought I treated it more like a hobby that will always be part of me. And I never in a million years thought that I would ever need to transition. So at the time, the level of gender dysphoria that I had was low enough that cross-dressing once a week linear or over longer periods was okay, that was fine. That was enough."
13:24
“About the same sort of time, my gender dysphoria increased dramatically. It went through the roof. So much so that I just didn't know what gender I was at all. I hadn't got a clue. And I was so desperate to find out. I was even typing into Google. What gender is Martin Neves? No, no, that's crazy. Because the answers only come from me. It couldn't come from anyone else, particularly Google. But I was desperate. It's what desperate people do. Perhaps Google should change their slogan to where desperate people go."
14:13
"I didn't know what gender I was at all. I hadn't got a clue. So I just had to face this on my own. So the first thing that I decided to do was to get some counselling and I found a counsellor who had experience of talking to people with gender issues. And I had four sessions with her and in hindsight, I think I should have had more sessions. Because at the end of those sessions, I wrongly concluded that I was gender fluid."
15:00
"So when a baby's born, the doctor or midwife looks between the legs of babies, and depending on what they see, they assign the baby as either a boy or girl. It is just a binary choice. That's all they've got in this country. And in other parts of the world, this is just starting to change now, but it's certainly over here. That's what we still have is just that binary choice boy or girl. The thing about sex, is that sex itself isn't binary, by nature it is very messy, it doesn't do black and white, it doesn't do binary things, it's very messy, does a whole spectrum of these things. And so sex itself isn't binary. And so it's just under 2% of the population are what's called intersex. So we think of, you know, xx and xy chromosomes, it's not as simple as that many people have an extra chromosome, you can actually have up to five problems. Hence, many people have an extra chromosome, and they're intersex.”
“One of the conditions they could have, they could have a vagina, but then they can have internal testes. But obviously, when they're born, the internal testes can't be seen. So it's only the vagina that is seen. And so the baby gets assigned as female, as we go. So, but that's just about sex, but that's got nothing to do with gender. When a baby is born, it has no way of knowing what the baby's gender is - what gender is the sex of your brain. And the thing is the baby, you know, baby can't speak that anyway. And Fred isn't developed enough to know it's not until they get to about two, three or four, when they start getting a sense of their gender. So gender is basically you know, it manifests itself in how you feel in your head in your heart, and you just know, but for, for 95% of the population, their gender identity matches their sex characteristics and the label, they've been given a birth. And to those people, I say, Well, lucky them. But for about 5% of the population, there is a mismatch. And there's a problem there."
"Just as sex isn't binary, gender isn't binary, either. There's a whole spectrum. And it's not linear either. So many people are what's called agender. So they don't have a gender at all. But just for simplicity purposes, for this podcast, just think of it as being linear, with 100%, male at one end and 100% female at the other end, and we're all on the spectrum somewhere. And most people who are not trans just tend to think they are 100%, male or 100% female because that's what's on the birth certificate, but they haven't really, there's only because their gender hasn't caused them any issues, because there's no mismatch, so they've never had to look at where they are on the spectrum. Whereas for people like me who are transgender, gender has caused us some issues, we've had to look at where we are on the spectrum. So for people that are roughly in the middle of the spectrum, they're non-binary, so they don't feel either male or female. And for gender fluid people, they're roughly in the middle of the spectrum, but sometimes they feel male, sometimes they feel female. And this can vary by the day, by the week, whatever. And all these things are perfectly normal, perfectly natural ways of being a human being. There's nothing wrong with human beings, but an awful lot wrong to do with the binary system and labelling system that we're all forced to adopt at that moment and the fact that the sex, the label, sex label, overrides gender in terms of the birth certificate, so like these people that have gender reveal parties, it really winds me up because it's not a gender reveal party, there's no way of telling what the baby's gender is either at birth or pre-birth, you know, from a scan, you can't tell that it's got nothing to do with all these those parties are is that my baby has or hasn't got a willing party. That's all they are. That's all they are. That's all they are. And in it places too much importance on sex rather than gender."
"I was working through a self-help workbook called you and your gender identity by a gender therapist from the States called Dara Hoffmann Fox. It's a brilliant book. And it's like psychotherapy in a book really, there's a lot of work involved in going through it. And it took me about two months to work my way through it. And by the time I got to about three-quarters of the way through the book, it became obvious that I wasn't gender fluid. I was in fact a transgender woman. I realised why I thought I was gender fluid in the first place, and it was my fear of admitting to myself that I was trans that was stopping me."
21:04
"During that session, she uses techniques such as deep meditation to get you into a really relaxed state, so you can get past all your fear and access your inner truth. So I went along for that session on the 11th of January 2018, it’s a date I'll never forget. And during that session, she didn't give me any answers at all. She just asked me a series of questions. It was question after question after question after question. She was relentless. Now whether she got the questions from spirit or not, I don't know. I'm glad she asked me all those questions. And she allowed all the answers to come from me and from my inner truth. And it was such an emotional session, I cried buckets that day, I really did. And it was at the end of that session, that I admitted to myself that I am a transgender woman and that I needed to change my body. And that was the point that I really felt female. And I really felt that Martin had stepped back and Katie had taken over. So now, after all, three different approaches, I had discovered my true gender identity. So what now? What was I going to do with this new piece of information? Yeah, I had a happy home life, I had a successful business. Could I put all of that in jeopardy just for this new piece of information eating away, then, but then again, could I go back to how I was before with this new piece of information eating away at me? I didn't think I could. And the trouble is, I didn't want to be trans."
23:28
"I should point out at this stage that sexuality and gender are completely separate entities and they're not linked. So in my case, I've always been attracted to women, and I still am. It's been one of the constants in my life. It's just the labels changed for me. So So previously, I was labelled as a heterosexual man. Now I'm labelled as a lesbian. It feels absolutely no different to me. I'm just attracted to women. "
25:00
"The next dilemma I had was what to do about the name of my photography and video business when I changed my name to Katie, because it was very boldly branded after my old male name. Martin Neves photography and film, I thought, well, I could change the name to Katie Neeves photography and film when I changed my name to Katie. But the trouble is at that point it had been an established brand for 22 years, and it was and still is actually ranked second in the UK on Free index, just through customer reviews. So with all those reviews, and everything, I just, I couldn't change that. "
"I was so worried about the reaction to it because I was freelance and so I didn't have any long term contracts with anybody. If my clients had a problem with my being trans, then the phone stopped ringing and I'd lose all my clients and I'd lose my income. So my whole livelihood, my reputation, everything rested on the reaction to that one video. It was a huge moment for me. So anyway, I came back and I nervously looked on Facebook, I needn't have worried because I was inundated with hundreds of messages of support, it was amazing. I felt so loved. And I didn't do any work for three whole days because I was so busy replying to all these lovely messages. And as well as having messages from friends from clients, I had messages from other trans people who'd seen it who, who said that they'd been struggling."
"Coming out went from being something that I was absolutely dreading to being one of the most uplifting experiences of my life, second to the birth of my daughter but it was right up there."
"Stonewalls trans Mental Health Survey of 2012 showed that 84% of trans people in the UK have attempted suicide at least once and 48% have thought about it. And she said to me if only someone like you was out there at the time that he was going through this that could have let him know that it's okay to be trans because it really is okay to be trans. And that really got me thinking I thought I've got to do some good with this. So I decided to vlog my whole journey and bring people along on the journey with me, demystifying the whole process, to educate people. I needed to show people that trans people are just ordinary people who want to be happy, but then also reach out to other trans people to let them know that it really is okay to be trans."
"The waiting times just to get seen at NHS gender clinics after being referred by a GP, can be anything between three and five and a half years, not months, but years, three and a half, five and a half years, just to get the first appointment then you don't get treated at all - it is a chat, with a nurse or clinician, then some people wait up to a year for their second appointment. And that's another chat usually with either a psychotherapist or with a GP. It’s normally the third appointment when they start assessing you to give you hormone therapy. So it's a really long process. And then there's a fourth appointment where you started talking about surgery if you want to go down that route because not all trans people do want to go down that route. Because the transition is split into three main sections, there's lots of different subsections within it. And not everybody takes every step along the way. But there are three sections to it. So the first section is social transition. So that's things like changing your name, by deed poll and on your driving licence, and passport and all that kind of stuff and changing it everywhere. And then and then changing your appearance. So in your hairstyle makeup, your facial hair, you with what you wear and everything. Then just being accepted, just living full time in your desired gender so that that's the social transition that side of it. And then the next step is a hormonal transition. So that's taking hormone blockers that block the existing hormones in your body. And then cross-sex hormones that give you the hormones that match your gender. And then the third stage is the surgical transition. And then the various different surgeries that are available. Most of it is not on the NHS, most of it has to be self-funded. So for trans women in England, there's only one surgery that's available. There's two in Scotland, but only one in England. And for trans men, there are two surgeries available in both countries."
35:00
There hasn't been a day that I've got up in the morning, in those last over the last three years and thought, well I’ll pretend to be Martin today, not a single day, you just feel so right. And I've lost count of the number of people who've told me that I look so much happier now. And I'm not surprised because it's the real me. I'm just loving it. I'm just living my truth. It is just amazing. You know, a lot of people talk about gender dysphoria, but this is gender euphoria. And it really does feel euphoric. It's amazing."
37:18
"My biggest piece of advice to people is if they're planning on doing something big, whether it's in their personal life, or within the career or in any big change and they're worried about it - just acknowledge that fear, but then go for it anyway. Because I found that reality is usually a lot easier than you fear."
39:14
"I've got 1000 messages of abuse of hate recently. But that's only because I've put my head, so well above the parapet and it's just part of the job. It shouldn't be part of the job, but it is but there's a certain section of society who are very anti-trans and they don't represent the majority of people in the majority people absolutely fine."
41:48
"There is still a big issue I think particularly in secondary schools there's a lot of both transphobia and homophobia in secondary schools and so there's a lot of work that needs to be done there."
"I find myself particularly in demand and things like June, which is pride month for Transgender Day of visibility, or Trans-awareness Week, all these different inclusion weeks and all these sorts of things. You know, I find myself in big demand, and I'm doing these gigs all over the place. And then as soon as those weeks or months or whatever is over then nobody wants to know anything. Well, actually, what these organisations are doing, they're ticking boxes."
"It wasn't long before she called me Dad, because some of these other kids heard her. And then I remember there's one little boy. He looked at me, he put his hands on his hips and said on one side, he said, so are you her mum or her dad? So I said, I'm her dad. I'm transgender. But that's why I look like this. It was like, oh, and then it was like bees around a honey pot. So I found myself doing this impromptu trans awareness training session, age-appropriate language in a ball pit. Then they just carried on playing. And that was it."
54:00
"That's what I'd say. Just live your truth. Because if you try and live your life for other people, then that's no way to be happy. If you live your truth, then that is the easiest way to be happy. I'm okay. We will have to make sacrifices to do it. I've had to make huge sacrifices for this. And I've lost family and I've lost friends over this. You know, and it's been really hard. It's been a tough journey. But I'm so much happier doing it. And so I am living my truth and I'm absolutely loving it. I really am. "
RECOMMENDATIONS You and your gender identity by Dara Hoffmann fox https://amzn.to/3bdJzLA
Website: www.cool2btrans.co.uk - mentoring page of Katie’s website, to other support and groups for both trans people, parents and partners of trans people
ABOUT KATIE
Katie Neeves has been a professional photographer and filmmaker for 34 years, but she came out publicly as being transgender after living for 48 years as a man. Katie formed Cool2BTrans to support and inspire other trans people and also to educate others on trans issues, by showing them that trans people are just ordinary people who want to be happy. She uses humour to deliver trans awareness training in an entertaining way. Katie appears regularly in the media and she’s on both ITV's and the BBC's lists of experts.
CONNECT WITH KATIE
Email: [email protected]
My social media details are:
Website: www.cool2btrans.co.uk
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katie-neeves-trans-ambassador-she-her-43626814/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/cool2btrans
Twitter: @cool2btrans
Instagram: cool2btrans
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YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/c/Cool2BTrans
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If would like to find out how you can improve your wellbeing and results in your business or to find out more about my Rapid Resilience reboot book a free call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
.*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Lee Anderson shares how he rebooted his life on two occasions, first when he came out as being gay and on a second occasion when he had a breakdown. This was the catalyst to him turning his life around and qualifying in occupational and social welfare and going on to support military personnel. He has then gone on to become a life coach and CBT practitioner and now lives in France. Although he has his own mental health illness, his life has completely transformed and he has found balance.
5:41
“You think to yourself that everyone's gonna disown you because you're doing something so bad, but you're not. And then since then, it’s never really been a big thing for me. You know, it's just been that and other aspects of who I am. It's never been an issue. I didn't really lose anybody in regards to my sexuality, if anything, I'd gained more friends. And so that was that kind of reboot of me as a person was quite big, you know, in respects of a sense of self. And a sense of self-love really as well”
10:30
“I remember the first time I said to myself, verbally, I am gay. And I was like, Oh my god, I really am gay. And it was such a huge relief. And then you move on to the next part of it. And you're like, what, who do I tell? How do I tell them? What do I say? And so you kind of break it down to its most simplest form and deal with it step by step by step. And I think the hardest person to tell was my mum.
“ Have you got a girl pregnant? I was like, No. Are you in trouble? No. Are you gay? And I was like, Yeah, she was like, as long as you're happy, I don't care. And I was like, Do you realise how much I've been turning myself inside as to I tell you this and she was like, as long as you're happy, I don't care. But a few years later, she did say to me that when I left that night, she kind of she was crying because she started to then fear you know, that, that maybe I was in some kind of danger for being gay, you know, people not liking it, that she wouldn't have any grandchildren. And so she said that she felt really selfish for that. And you know, that really moved me because you don't really think about that of the other person, you're just more about telling them about what's been burdening you, and not necessarily the impact it has on them.”
15:57
“I walked down to the church and sat down at this church and just felt safe there because I was within the church boundaries. So in my brain, I'm like, I'm safe. No one can touch me. And then it must have been a few hours, and my sister drove past. And then my sister picked me up, I went back to the house, and then kind of started from there. Really, it was nice getting some help.”
27:10
“One of the things that I learned about that was in order to understand the experiences of others, you have to understand you.”
“I was never really one for supervision, but I realised just how important it was to go in and go, why am I feeling this way? Why is this bothered me? What is it about this that I don't understand, and to be able to talk that through, really helped me, I think it helped me mature, you know, I think I became a bit more grown-up.”
28:45
“ And it was only after we'd finished and I was like I wish I had said a bit more because I feel as if it was really important for me to contribute those. And so when we did it again, I actually then started to contribute a bit more myself and talk about some of my experiences and other people started to open up as well because it always takes one person to just talk and that always stayed with me and I think talking about my mental health.”
32:51
“So the more I spoke about the way that I was feeling the more it was helping me and I was like why have I never done this before.”
“Taking my dogs out for a walk is one of the most important things to me in regards to my mental health and just being present.“
37:22
“I look at my dogs and think that my dogs believe that every day is a new day. And it is to them even though sometimes we're doing the same walk it's like this the first time they've been on that walk and it's the first time I've discovered that spot and the happiness and the joy that they get from that. And I'm like that's it I suppose that's eternal happiness, isn't it? You know, every day is a new day, therefore we're grateful for it, and we'll enjoy it like it's the first time ever, and that's how my dogs are. “
44:56
“So I would think that if I unplugged the phone in by the side of my bed The idea was an electric current going through my body and they were then putting things into me through my phone through Bluetooth”
45:38
“it's often people who have psychosis are the ones that feel more threatened than we do when someone is in a psychotic state.”
50:39
“I'm quite happy and open to talk about it. Because I'm kind of over that stage. Now, you know, I still have issues with my mental health, and I always will, but I don't allow that to dictate who I am. And I manage that. So, therefore, taking the power away from that. So I know that if I'm feeling a certain way, I'll stick with it. I'll acknowledge it. I'll understand it.”
“I completely shift the way that I look at stuff. And I've completely changed my mindset as in, this is who I am, it's part of me. So, therefore, let it work for me rather than against me. “
“For many, many, many, many years, I never smiled, because number one, I convinced myself that I didn't have a good smile.”
“I've been 273 days sober. So that's really helped. That was always a massive crutch for me, you know, the marriage that me and alcohol had was never a linear process. Let me tell you, but now we've divorced. And yeah, we've had a very conscious uncoupling. Let me put it that way. And I've not looked back since.”
57:12
The one piece of advice that I was given I think was you're not alone. You know, that sounds really corny, but you're not, because by sharing or talking about what you're feeling can alleviate so much of that, because it's not yours anymore, because you've shared it. A problem shared is a problem halved.
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ABOUT LEE
‘Lee is an experienced Life Coach with a demonstrated history of working in the professional coaching and welfare environment. He is skilled at helping people take back their power and re-evaluate who they currently are enabling them to transform into a better version of themselves’
CONNECT WITH LEE
Instagram: https://www.Instagram.com/leeandersoncoaching
LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/lee-anderson-179a071a1
Website: www.leeandersoncoaching.com
Podcast: The Struggling Mind podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-struggling-mind-podcast/id1565772806
ABOUT THE HOST
Emma Last is a qualified Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Coach. She has co-written both the First Aid Industry body’s accredited First Aid for Mental Health and Wellbeing training for Adults in the workplace and those working with children.
Emma also has over 20-years, experience in leading teams and developing strategies for change. She worked in Senior leadership for a large corporate until early 2018, when she came to a turning point in her career due to being on the brink of burnout and wanted to gain more of a balance in her life. She then rebooted her life and founded her company Progressive Minds.
Emma also works with workplaces and schools on their Mental Health and Wellbeing strategies and provides training and coaching to support employees through challenging and changing times. Emma also works with individuals to help them to perform at their best by working on their mental fitness, which incorporates stress/burnout prevention and resilience and agility development through her Human Reboot Movement Coaching Programme. Her clients say they have become more mentally fit, happier and gain the results they want in their lives.
Her Human Reboot podcast achieved number 22 in the Mental Health category in Mental Health Awareness week. She is a #1 best selling author on Amazon
CONNECT WITH EMMA LAST
https://thehumanrebootmovement.com
Find free resources, training and more info at https://linktr.ee/EmmaLast
If would like to find out how you can improve your wellbeing and results in your business or to find out more about my Rapid Resilience reboot book a free call https://schedulingEmmaLast.as.me/30min
DISCLAIMER
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence.
.*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
The podcast currently has 38 episodes available.