Humans Holler At News

Is Alice some kind of fully metallic alchemist? Listen and find out! It won’t even cost you an arm and a leg.
Stories Used
Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/10/pet-goose-Goosey-barn-fire-hero-Fort-Bend-County-Texas/1921786371082/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/21/San-Diego-City-Council-Darth-Vader-Flock-cameras/9851787334242/  
Jane
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/20/germany-sheep-bus-car-wash-Ludinghausen/4781787240887/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/21/netherlands-Guinness-World-Records-fastest-motorized-clog-shoe/7791787326752/
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/17/bear-KFC/4191786983854/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/17/canada-Wilder-Institute-Calgary-Zoo-grizzly-bear-escape/3681786978537/

I had to bleep so much from this one. Y’all have no idea. 
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social
Stories Used
Jane
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/13/suspicious-object-Washington-DC-bomb-squad-sex-toy/5991786640665/ (backup / optional)
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/11/kitten-stuck-furniture-Corvallis-Oregon/4681786463461/ (backup / optional)

Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/07/raccoon-mayonaisse-jar-Dallas-texas/6681786113237/ (backup / optional)
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/06/latam-brazil-capybaras-Legislative-Assembly-Mato-Grosso/9241786025213/ (backup / optional)
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/10/bear-backyard-pool-Sierra-Madre-California/9061786374683/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/08/13/goats-board-bus-Portland-Oregon-TriMet/7881786637047/

Skeletor fills in for Alice
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social


Stories Used
Jane
https://www.medpagetoday.com/criticalcare/generalcriticalcare/118231
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/new-test-scan-diagnose-endometriosis-in-days-rather-than-years/
 
Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/14/Clay-County-Florida-pig/6661784041399/ (backup / optional)
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/13/Fort-Wayne-Zoo-wildebeest-escape/5331783957914/ (backup / optional)
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/17/Seattle-raccoon-Jimothy-spinal-deformity/4011784293750/ (backup / optional JIMOTHY)
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/17/bear-kiddie-pool-Steamboat-Springs-Colorado/8151784303179/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/13/bear-golf-clubs-Golden-Eagle-Golf-Club-Pitt-Meadows/7131783961633/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/15/deer-window-Blue-Daisy-Antiques-Dothan-Alabama/1641784137863/

Don’t excrete upon yourself
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social


Stories Used
Jane
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/10/scotland-Scottish-SPCA-fox-cub-plastic-bottle-rescue/5181783704156/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/09/thailand-Meta-office-squirrel-loose/2541783618407/
Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/06/Newcastle-England-bull-cricket/3531783346988/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/02/loose-goat-Pierce-County-Washington-chase/7791783003549/  
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/01/Chronos-Games-Gifts-Beaverton-Oregon-Yu-Gi-Oh-hygiene/6581782917827/ 
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/02/australia-Neil-the-seal-Tasmania-Australia/4521783013488/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/07/09/bear-JBER-Alaska-mall-peach/5831783613088/

Lauren forgets who she is in the Outro
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social

Stories Used
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/19/dog-carries-armadillo-into-Oklahoma-house/1241781886056/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/26/giraffe-Gracie-escape-found-Real-County-Texas/9301782502259/ 

Jane
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/24/Montana-Highway-Patrol-Big-Banana-car/6191782315139/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/24/Dedham-Animal-Control-raccoon-glass-jar-rescue/7951782311502/
Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/25/campgound-toilet-rescue-Fresno-County-California/9991782404124/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/17/Berkeley-County-South-Carolina-alligator-porch/2851781723534/ (optional / backup)

Alice finds the Goat GOAT
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social

Stories Used
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/19/Castle-Rock-Colorado-police-parking-lot-bear/8031781892058/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/16/loose-emu-Byram-Mount-Olive-Budd-Lake-New-Jersey/9121781627719/ 


Jane https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/mushrooms-used-to-clean-e-coli-from-rivers-and-immediately-implemented-in-england/



https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/18/britian-beavers-London-Underground-flooding-Ealing-Greenford/4701781800216/ (backup / optional)
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/06/16/turkey-Imperial-Russian-Ballet-Romeo-Juliet-cat/6311781623355/ (backup / optional)

Alice is missing 
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social

Stories Used
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/21/bear-doorbell-Sparta-New-Jersey/5501779382850/ 
 https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/20/Utica-New-York-escaped-cow/2161779284509/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/21/emu-Duson-Louisiana/7121779386373/ 
Jane
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/passionate-tortoise-guardians-help-critically-endangered-giant-tortoise-slowly-return-to-india/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/18/bees-Parleys-Canyon-Utah/4541779123030/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/18/ducklings-storm-drain-Pizza-Hut-Ohio/3021779122222/

Lauren is missing
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social

Stories Used



Jane 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/15/canada-Crowsnest-Pass-Alberta-fox-hot-dogs/8031778865878/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/13/france-Saone-et-Loire-drunk-deer-warning/5941778684226/
Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/05/14/Westlake-Ohio-ball-python-loose/1361778771919/

Too many animals are getting arrested. 
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social

Stories Used
Jane
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/22/Cumbia-Nature-Festival-naturalists-naturists-nudists/3071776872855/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/21/finland-Finnish-Air-Force-cadet-pilots-draw-genitalia/7461776784445/ 
Alice
(Optional: More emus being arrested)  https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/25/odd-news-nashville-emu-escaped/6241777142764/
(Optional: Alligator gets arrested) https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/24/West-Palm-Beach-alligator-parking-lot-Florida/7041777048169/ 
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/21/bear-tree-Albany-New-York/3141776793580/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/21/scotland-llama-pygmy-goats-escape-block-traffic/1711776785908/

We’re doing shrooms y’all 
Humans Holler Patreon: https://patreon.com/humansholler
Jane’s Stuffs: https://linktr.ee/janeiac 
Jane’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/StonedMonkeyRadio/posts 
Alice’s Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/icecreamwitch_
Alice’s Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/icecreamwitch.bsky.social

Stories Used
Alice
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/03/Guinness-World-Records-dead-hang/1991775235537/
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/01/Animal-Rescue-League-Iowa-baby-chick/3941775055106/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/06/cat-mechanical-recliner-Overland-Park-Kansas/1141775481405/ 
Janehttps://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/urine-from-music-festival-toilets-is-fertilizing-new-forest/
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/aquarium-shares-video-of-harbor-seal-playing-with-his-rubber-duckie/
Lauren
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/06/black-bear-cub-New-Jersey-ditch/7771775482024/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/08/thailand-ostrich-escape-highway-run/7351775658293/ 
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/04/10/escaped-emu-Walter-Barnstable-Massachusetts/8871775834916/