Hundred Proof History

From 1119 to 1314 a group of holy monks traveled throughout the Middle East defending Christians and facing off with Muslims. They were wealthy but poor. They were compassionate yet they killed a WHOLE lot of people. They have a legendary name and status but...they didn't actually win very often.  In this episode of HPH, we're telling you all about these dudes and their lives as well as dipping our toes into the first seven crusades.  Grab a drink and enjoy this episode of Hundred Proof History titled The Knights Templar...Shitting the Bed for God.

In 1876, the 7th Calvary of the US Army decided to go to war with the Lakota Sioux tribe in the far reaches of the Montana territory. What followed were selfish quests for glory, foolhardy attack plans, and general buffoonery. No, General Buffoonery is not a person, but if he was, he would have probably been involved in the hunt for the Lakota and the disaster that was the battle that ensued. Grab a drink and get ready to be ashamed of your country...unless you're listening from outside the US...in that case get ready to laugh your ass off.  Enjoy this episode of Hundred Proof History titled The Battle of the Little Bighorn: A Real Custer Fuck.

It's the time of year where we here at HPH hop in our magical history van and hit the highway for our summer road trip. Greg drives and stews in anger. Chris rides shotgun with his disgusting feet on the dash while eating funyuns and singing showtunes. Wolf Dick flops helplessly around the cargo compartment in his Weekend at Bernie's cosplay. And Dan, Dan, the Intro Man stares at his phone and gets super annoyed when we stop at every historical marker on the road.  So while we are out and about, we're leaving you special humans with a special episode.  Our mini-episodes, known as Hangovers are typically only available to our Patreon subscribers, but this week we're leaving you with four of our favorites: King Charles II, Mad Jack Churchill, Big Nose George, and Charles Guiteau. So grab a fruity summer cocktail, check the mail for our post cards from the world's biggest toilet and enjoy this episode of Hundred Proof History titled Summer Holiday Hangovers: Four Times the Crazy!

The past two weeks, we've taken a look at the superviolent response to far-right extremism that was on display at both Ruby Ridge and Waco. In this episode of HPH, we're diving into the story of the man who took those events very, very personally and decided to commit his own atrocity. Really it's all because of the dying tollbooth operator industry. Grab a drink and find out why in this episode of Hundred Proof History titled Oklahoma City...Two Wrongs Make A Third Wrong!

Last week Greg and Chris told you all about the government goof-up in Idaho, affectionately known as the Siege at Ruby Ridge.  Six months after that disaster, the ATF and FBI were back at it again when they took on a religious group that may or may not have had automatic weapons and were led by a child abusing high school dropout who renamed himself David Koresh.  Get ready for more bone chilling governmental incompetence in this episode of Hundred Proof History we like to call Waco: Burning Down the House!

In 1992, federal agents attempted to arrest Randy Weaver at his remote Idaho cabin. Things...did not go well. Three people and a sweet, innocent puppy dog would be killed during the encounter and the United States would unknowingly be thrown on to a path that would lead to the largest domestic terrorist attack in US history.  In this episode of HPH we're telling you all about this standoff and the piss poor decisions that created it. Grab a drink and stockpile your guns because here comes the gov'ment in this episode of Hundred Proof History titled Ruby Ridge: A Hill to Die On!

This week on HPH we're journeying back to where it all started: The Middle East. Come learn the heroic tale of the Arab Revolt, the pure horrors of the Eastern front of WWI, and the super fun racist imperialism that created the divided Middle East we all know and love today! And come see it through a super short Englishman who wanted to be an archaeologist but turned out to be a military genius. Grab a drink and enjoy this episode that we like to call Lawrence of Arabia...The Little Guy Just Can't Win!

source: Lawrence in Arabia by Scott Anderson

This week on HPH we are taking a break from our usual single tale of misery, pain, woe, and penises and instead we're telling you four different stories about four different badass ladies. Is it pandering? Is it part of an out-of-court settlement? No and we legally can't answer the second question. Kidding, of course.  These are very cool stories so grab a drink and enjoy ladies night on this episode titled Hundred Proof HERstory....Four Bad Bitches.

In the conclusion to this two part series on the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Greg and Chris are taking a look at the various conspiracy theories surrounding his death. The official story is that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and Greg and Chris just so happen to believe that official story. Is it because they're gullible sheeple who believe everything the government tells them, or is it because that's where the facts of the case actually lead? WHO KNOWS?!? Oh yeah we do. And you will too if you listen to this episode of Hundred Proof History titled The Kennedy Assassination Part II: Conspiracy Queries!

In 1963, US President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was shot and killed by an assassin.  The official findings indicate that a young weasley lookin' dork named Lee Harvey Oswald was the gunman and acted alone. In this episode we're detailing that official government account and telling you the plain, simple version of the assassination.  Next week is when we'll get into all of the crazy conspiracies. So grab a drink and settle in for this episode of Hundred Proof History titled The Kennedy Assassination Part I: God Hates Facts.