In this episode, Matt, Steve, and Jessica discuss dive into why it was so hard for Jessica the first few years of our marriage. They start breaking down some of Matt's false beliefs and the stories he was telling himself about why he couldn't show up for her. 

Matt and Jessica describe the hardships of the early years of their marriage. For Matt, he dealt with a lot of security issues and spent those years testing the waters of their relationship. To navigate those years, Jessica often confided a lot of her own fears to Matt and he continually gave her some insightful advice into her current marriage with Matt. 

Though Matt and Jessica struggled, their commitment to marriage kept them focused on their goal of being a couple. That commitment is what allowed them to weather the storms that came their way. 

They have struggled with communicating their love languages with one another. For instance, Jessica describes the importance of little notes of appreciation or how in the early days she felt Matt wasn’t verbally expressive enough with his love. Matt struggled with his aversion to following societal norms and hoped Jessica could see the other ways he expressed his care and affection.

Ultimately, they have all come to realize that love is always a work in progress. Now they work hard to show their love in ways each other will appreciate as well as take notice of the little acts they might have once over looked.

Highlights of the Discussion: 

• Jess’ funny story (6:00)
• Be Bold course (8:05)
• Testing the waters of their relationship (13:00)
• The commitment of marriage (22:10)
• Overcoming false beliefs (26:40)
• Expressing little acts of love (35:00)
• The takeaway from this episode (41:00)

Additional Resources:

• www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, Matt, Steve, and Jessica discuss the ups and downs of co-parenting and how to keep your relationship healthy. It all starts with Steve’s story witnessing a custody battle (over a dog) while at work and leads into each of their own experiences with splitting custody.

Matt and Jessica describe the interesting situation they are in dealing with two custody situations on each end of the spectrum. Jessica explains what she’s had to learn along the way as a new stepparent and how to help raise and be an example for kids that aren’t biologically her own. It can be a struggle to find your role in your stepchild’s life. She mentions how that gets extra tough with so many parents involved and differing parenting styles. 

Matt and Jessica also talk about the early days of their marriage and what it was like to learn how to build a foundation of trust. A pivotal point in their relationship revolved around Jessica’s sewing business and how that helped launch Matt’s dream career. 

Finally, the three of them cover the importance of spontaneity and randomness in relationships. It’s so valuable to have time to be silly and carefree with your loved ones, and they offer some great tips on how you, too, can incorporate that energy into your own life. 

Highlights of the Discussion: 

• Steve’s custody battle story (1:55)
• Musings over what dog custody might be like (4:18)
• Matt and Jessica’s unexpected custody encounters (5:16)
• Managing holidays and vacations while co-parenting (13:22)
• Dealing with toxic behaviors from other parents (20:00)
• Figuring out your role in your stepchild’s life (24:00)
• Jessica showing Matt that she could be trusted (29:46)
• Giving your partner reassurance and a boost of confidence (34:07)
• The importance of spontaneity in a relationship (40:06)

Additional Resources:

• www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, Jessica, Matt, and Steve move through their timeline of Matt and Jessica’s relationship. They talk about how their relationship created new roles for Matt in the church and how he struggled to find his place in it during this transition with Jessica.

Before Matt and Jessica started dating, Matt served the church as a Sunday school teacher. He was moved to the role of executive secretary of the ward after they met. In this role, Matt assisted the Bishop with scheduling and planning. He talks about being selected for the role all while feeling guilty about accepting it. He wanted to be in the right place and the right state of mind to fulfill the role but was still finding his place in his marriage to Jessica.

The three talk about making big decisions as a family and how nothing is as important as feeling loved and showing love in return.

Key Takeaways

• Social distancing practices (1:00)
• Hit top 100 in relationship podcast in the country (9:05)
• Matt’s calling in the church (14:15)
• Jessica’s calling in the church (18:44)
• Matt’s trip to Las Vegas with his friend (21:00)
• Matt and Jessica took a trip to St George (27:40)
• Matt’s ex wanted to move to Texas with the kids (29:01)
• Steve took a new job (34:39)

Additional Resources

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, we welcome the Inclusive Step-Mom, Beth McDonough. Beth is a certified step-parent coach who uses her experience as a child of divorce, a step-mother, and attraction to women to help others adjust and find success as a step-parent.

Beth specializes in LGBTQ+ issues, being a childless stepmom, infertility, and strengthening stepfamilies. She talks to us about her mission to make everyone feel included. Too often online resources use language and family exclusive terminology. She developed a platform that welcomed everyone and communicates freely with those seeking advice on family dynamics or sexual preferences.

Beth relates to her clients by pulling on personal life experiences. She grew up learning to thrive in stepfamily dynamics. Her parents divorced when she was four years old and several father figures were in and out of her life. In 2017, she married her wife Jen, and began her own journey as a step-parent.

In this episode, she will talk about her method of becoming a step-parent and how she embraces her lifestyle and sexual preferences despite the opinions of others.

Key Takeaways

• Introduction of our guest, Inclusive Step-Mom Beth McDonough (1:20)
• The story behind the inclusive step-mom (1:58)
• Beth’s family (3:50)
• Beth’s story  (9:25)
• Political opinions cutting family ties (13:28)
• Process of stepping into the step-mom role (14:23)
• Relationship with her wife’s ex (21:51)
• How to deal with the potential judgment of having three moms (25:10)
• Introducing your children to labels and seeing a variety of different relationships (33:15)
• Beth’s religious journey (35:05)
• The debate over saying born this way vs choosing the lifestyle (38:09)

Additional Resources 

Check out Beth’s website here

Follow her on Instagram at @theinclusivestepmom

Additional Resources

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, Steve, Jessica and Matt discuss jealousy and how it gave them perspective on the changes that were happening not only in their lives, but the lives of their ex’s and their children.

Matt and Jessica’s new beginning meant a new normal for their children too. They talk about teaching their children that it is okay to show your step-parents the same amount of love they show their biological parents and vise-versa. It's a complicated topic that can vary based on each family's circumstances.

For Penny, she wanted a close relationship with Matt. Jessica and Steve supported this relationship, but Matt struggled to find a balance. He was jealous of the time he missed out on with his kids due to work. Jessica wanted an open relationship with Matt's children too. However, she felt the support Steve showed Matt was not reciprocated from his ex. 

Jessica also shares that she was jealous of the affection Matt showed his kids. She was still working on encouraging Matt to open up to her as his wife, but didn’t feel the same affection Matt showed his children.

The three continue their conversations on the transition period of Matt and Jessica’s new marriage. Listen to this week’s episode for more. 

Key Takeaways

• Penny connecting with Matt after Jessica and Matt’s marriage (4:22)
• Change in bedtime/daily routine with kids after marriage (6:09)
• Matt's ex did not fully support Jessica having a relationship with Matt's kids (9:52)
• Matt struggles with spending more time with Penny than his own kids (12:20)
• Jessica gets jealous of the affection Matt shows his kids (17:22)
• Not having enough knowledge to judge or understand a situation (20:18)
• Jessica joins new gym community (25:32)
• Taking care of your body and teaching positive body images (35:15)
• Steve’s embarrassing moment (43:40)

Additional Resources

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, we are talking about the meaning of the word sonder, the realization that everyone has a life as complex as one's own. It’s a timely way of thinking as we all reflect on how we are showing up in our countries current climate.

This year has been a tough one. It has been a year of economic setbacks and, as of recently, a movement for change. Jessica begins this episode reflecting with Steve and Matt on today’s cultures and their sense of responsibility to understand the crusade for change and reflect on how they personally want to show up for it.

The open conversion about current events happens to unintentionally tie into the planned discussion for this week’s episode. Jessica wanted to talk about her experiences with counselors. After a negative counseling experience, she found one counselor who taught her something so relevant to her situation, but something that is also extraordinarily relevant today.

Jessica’s counselor compared life to a movie, explaining that she is her own star in her life and a supporting actress in the lives of others around her. She learned that she fit into Matt’s story, but his personal life is full of complexities he is figuring out as the star. Looking at the bigger picture of today, you never know the complexities someone else may be experiencing. It’s not your movie. Together we can work together to understand everyone's roles and not only be supporting actresses and actors, but a support system. 

Key Takeaways

• Reading reviews (1:04)
• Husband In Law merchandise (3:25)
• Idaho Pride update (6:00)
• Reflection of how we show up in the country's current conditions (6:55)
• Changing our mindset (16:15)
• Sending peaceful messages (17:59)
• Jessica sees a counselor (22:59)
• Matt had a good experience with a counselor but bad overall experience (24:55)
• Jessica’s conversation with her first  counselor (25:45)
• Jessica’s second counselor (27:50)
• Sonder and what it means (32:03)

Additional Resources

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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This episode marks the one year anniversary of Husband In Law. Steve, Jessica and Matt thank their listeners for following their story and share some of their favorite moments recording.

Taking the first step and deciding to start a podcast wasn’t an easy decision. Jessica has mentioned before that she felt a calling to help make a difference in people’s lives. For her that calling led to this podcast. Steve struggled with sharing his story and worried about the criticism he thought he would receive. Ultimately, he decided that other people’s opinions were not as important as sharing a message that could help someone going through similar experiences. Matt’s reasoning for sharing was similar. He says he wished he had something like this podcast to turn to in his past relationship.

Steve, Jessica and Matt have found personal growth through these shared experiences. Reminiscing their past and being open with one another while recording is like their personal therapy sessions. Because of Husband In Law, the three have found happiness in places they didn't look before. They recognize that no one has the perfect relationship or the perfect parenting technique and that’s okay. It’s these moments that help us grow together.

Key Takeaways

• One year podcast anniversary (1:15)
• Courage to start the podcast (1:40)
• How Steve came around to the idea of doing a podcast (5:40)
• Fears of criticism (6:15)
• Individual takeaways from the podcast so far (7:07)
• Followers favorite moments (9:40)
• What Jessica loves about the podcast (18:00)
• Podcast has been therapy for Steve (20:10)
• Matt, Jessica and Steve reminisce many firsts thanks to the podcast (23:59)
• Why Jessica shaved her head (26:50)
• Reflection of happiness and how they feel a year into the podcast (35:45)
• How the podcast created more contentment in their lives (40:32)

Additional Resources 

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, Jessica talks about her trip to the Grand Teaton and how the vacation turned out to be a giant hurdle emotionally and physically. The beginning of Jessica and Matt’s marriage has been the topic of the last few episodes. Jessica and Matt have been struggling to have the open conversations they need work through the transition of a second marriage.

This week, Matt and Jessica reconnect at the state fair after Jessica searches for clarity at the top of the Grand Tetons. She starts the episode with a journal entry from the trip. She talks about the disconnect she felt with Matt and her disappointment that he choose not to go on her family trip. It’s a decision Matt made because he still felt the pressures to give up before he gets too invested.

After the trip, Jessica and Matt make some much needed time for each other and go on a date to the state fair. It’s here where Jessica begins to stop feeling Matt push and the two regain hope.

Listen to this week’s episode for more on how they overcome these hurdles and find time for each other, by allowing themselves some personal time to reflect. Plus information on a special offer on Jessica’s Be Bold course. For more on the course visit, www.beboldcourse.com/bebold

Key Takeaways

• Jessica got tested for coronavirus (2:15)
• Open registration for Jessica’s Be Bold course (5:35)
• Coming up on a year anniversary of Husband in Law (9:10)
• Jessica shares journal entries from their trip to the Grand Teton (13:16)
• Climbing the Grand without Matt (16:27)
• Matt’s response to why he did not go on the trip (17:57)
• Jessica asks Matt reconnect on a date after her trip (21:11)
• Jessica’s conversations with her family about Matt during her trip (31:08)
• What Matt talks about how he struggled to help Jessica during the transition (34:00)
• The benefits of taking personal time in a relationship (38:31)

Additional Resources 

For more information on how to join Jessica’s Be Bold course check out www.beboldcourse.com/bebold 

or

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, Jessica Matt and Steve continue their conversation about the early days of Matt and Jessica’s marriage. In previous episodes, Matt talks about immense responsibility settling in after the wedding. He was struggling to open up to Jessica about his feelings and it came off seemingly distant and less interested in the relationship.

The three talk more about those feelings while focusing more on how the hesitation impacted Jessica. One of the first noticeable changes was Matt no longer wanted to have another child with Jessica. He worried how it would affect their children they have and it was an added pressure. Jessica was comfortable with the decision. She admits that she had struggles to get pregnant in the past and felt that she was being called in another direction- this podcast where she can share her experiences to help others.

Jessica shares journal entries that document her feelings in the start of her marriage. She was looking for a deeper level of communication, but understood that Matt needed time to adjust. It wasn’t until a family vacation that Jessica started to question the future of their marriage. They took a trip to California where Matt distanced himself from Jessica and hardly talked to her the whole trip.

They talk about subtle changes as they moved forward and how small gestures gave them assurance that they were meant to be.

Key Takeaways

• Announcing the podcast in Spanish (1:18)
• How Matt and Jessica find 1 on 1 bonding time in their crazy schedule (5:00)
• Matt decides he doesn't want another kid their wedding (7:18)
• It wasn’t easy for Steve and Jessica to get pregnant with Penny (8:50)
• Jessica was okay with not having kids after Penny. Felt strongly like there was something she was called to do in addition to being a parent (14:42)
• Matt talks about his concerns with having another child (18:14)
• Jessica reflects more on the struggles she and Matt faced in the beginning of their marriage though journal entries (21:05)
• Matt and Jessica take a tough trip to California (23:20)
• Jessica realizes her struggles with Matt and also starts to question the marriage (26:35)
• A trip to lake Tahoe gave them clarity on their future (43:07)
• Advice for couples struggling (46:48)

Additional Resources

www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

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In this episode, Matt opens up about how financial stress weighed on him in the beginning of his marriage with Jessica. Debt accumulation from his past relationship put up a temporary wall with new experiences with Jessica. They get on the subject when Steve starts a conversation about his involvement in Jessica buying a new car. He shares how he still felt a responsibility for Jessica’s well-being after their divorce and wanted to be there for her, including with finances. He brings up that he and Jessica even shared a credit card a year into her and Matt’s marriage.

The three will discuss that credit card and why finances were a hurdle in the beginning of Matt and Jessica's relationship. Matt shares how his last marriage led him into financial debt that took a toll on his emotions and trust.  Matt has held a job since he was 13 years-old and did not feel the pressures of finances until his first marriage. He shares how he climbed out of debt as a single man and feared the worst when it came starting over with Jessica.

Matt and Jessica talk about their system of writing checks for the first 6-8 months of their relationship. For Matt it was a way he could balance his finances, Jessica felt the constraints it was putting on their new marriage. They will share how, in any relationship, conversation is key and how they moved forward with financial responsibility as a married couple.

Listen to hear the advice they have for couples in their second marriage and why it’s important to talk about any baggage you are still carrying with you.

Key Takeaways:

• Reading through honest reviews 2:49
• Matt, Steve and Jessica encourage you to write reviews, so we can have open conversations 5:24
• Review of our interview with Jimmy Rex and why we responded the way we did 6:45
• Steve and Jessica kept a joint credit card a year into her marriage with Matt 18:48
• Transition into shared finances with Matt and Jessica 19:12
• Worries about past debt left an impact on Matt - 25:47
• Matt questions whether he wanted to give up on being married and having more responsibility 30:07
• Matt coming back from debt only and viewing himself as more than financially stable  32:11
• Advice for second marriages 37:02
• Matt’s struggle with open conversation 39:27  

Additional Resources:

• www.Linktr.ee/TheBoldLogic

Be sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook!

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If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!