Everyone loves a dirty blonde joke. It’s got a little ditz and a little jizz. Okay, The Citizen isn’t the most PC person. Enjoy his 10 dirtiest dirty blonde jokes. And remember, f*ck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

Guy Shahar is a father and autism advocate. His advocacy grew out of the work he and his wife did to help their son, who has autism. In this clip from the original “I Am Citizen Abels” episode Guy appeared on – “Two Fathers Talk Autism” – Guy talks about what early signs of autism appeared in his son. Citizen Abels, who has twins on the autism spectrum, listens intently as Guy describes the realizations millions of parents across the world come to as they start to see their child has autism.

On this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” (http://www.iamcitizenabels.com), recorded May 9, 2019, The Citizen and Mitch talk about 2019 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition model Mia Kang. Well, actually the two old farts ogle at her loveliness and make comments like a couple of 10-year-olds. Anyway, watch and ogle yourself. Men, women, dogs, and cats can only say a game of spin the bottle – or spin something, anything – with this darling would be better than a long day at work. Enjoy!

It’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Model time of the year. This year’s hot bod is the gorgeous Camille Kostek. Yes, former New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski’s short, sweet, and oh-so-beautiful girlfriend graces the 2019 SI swimsuit cover. Lick your lips, guys. Even you girls. Just keep your pants on until you listen to The Citizen and Mitch salivate over perfect circles, perfect globes, and whatever else they would love to get their hands on. Ay, chihuahua. Give me a pink taco.

On this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” recorded May 3, 2019, The Citizen and Mitch pay tribute to one of the world’s great comic geniuses – Curly Howard of The Three Stooges. Known for his patented phrases and sounds, Curly was a multilayered man – marred by insecurity but talented in so many brilliant ways. To know Curly was to love him, and The Citizen and Mitch exchange interesting stories about the man some call the greatest Stooge, as well as their usual inane banter about everything and an

To The Citizen, it doesn’t seem like Americans are so happy. In this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” – recorded May 3, 2019 – The Citizen and Mitch discuss the world’s happiest countries and a few of the reasons why these countries seem to get it right. Maybe there’s a way we can give up sex, oxycontin, and rock and roll if we all get happy. Okay, maybe let’s give up the oxycontin, and listen to another great show. This one’s entitled, “Do You Live In One Of The 10 Happiest Countries In

Money. It’s a gas. Share it. Spend it. Don’t take a slice of my stash. But spending money by borrowing time on credit cards can be a dangerous game if you do it wrong. Yet using control on certain credit cards – like the retail credit cards from Amazon.com and Lowe’s – bring a 5% discount on purchases. The Citizen discusses these topics and other related ones – divorce, kids, work, and sexual relations – because in the end, everything costs The Citizen. Even a little kiss on his little head.

Guys are pigs. And women? Of course, they’re are all saints. No one but queer guys put their mouths on you-know-whats, do they? On this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels™,” old friend – NYC cab driver and poet, Seth Goldman – comes to visit The Citizen and Mitch to play a game of “F*#k, Marry, Or Ki*l?” The three old farts plow ahead and pound out their choices. The consensus as who would be the woman they’d want to take to bed for just one time? Well, take a listen and find out

It doesn’t take a billionaire or a millionaire or even a poor shnook standing on a corner with nothing in his pocket to light one up and alter the universe. Take the famous billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk, founder of Tesla, the electric car company, and Snoop Dogg, a central figure in the rap world and a musical innovator like few others are. Both have been known to take a toque – Musk celebrated for doing it on Joe Rogan’s podcast and pissing off the boys on Wall Street – and Snoop… You know t

Kim Kardashian – recognized all over the world – is famous for being famous. And now the pop icon wants to be famous for another reason – for being a lawyer. That’s right, Chloé and Kylie’s older sister is apprenticing for an attorney and hoping to take the bar exam so she can become a licensed attorney in California under a state law that allows taking the bar without going to law school. The Citizen discusses the important topics of the day – including obvious similarities to the great Abraha