I am OPTimist

You are about to enter into Monika’s universe, where her inquiry may align you to new dimensions. You are about to cross a threshold into the unknown; (surrender to the experience).

The body is a temple, it’s the vessel that has density and allows us to really experience, through our senses, the nature of our reality. The body as the logos is also the doorway of incarnation, the place where consciousness becomes experience. It is the body that is also miraculous, and it has such an incredible genetic imprint, at the same time the most high type of intelligence that regenerates itself, but also needs other bodies to function. It needs an emotional body, a mental body, psychic body, spiritual body. So when one of these bodies is not in tune and aligned, the physical body could start sabotaging itself. We speak of health as always trying to repair something, fix something, but we don’t speak of health as wholesomeness, as cycles between cycles, and illnesses or crises as resolutions.

Not long ago I was introduced to GHK {GNM} and the 5 biological laws through the awesome FOTT community, and it arrived as a puzzle I’m still deciphering, a puzzle that makes sense of why it came into my life now. So yes relating to my mind and my vessel. With a new set of values, perspectives and appreciation of the time that I’ve been taken in the last year or so to reconnect to my physiology through imprints that have crystallized both mentally and even in the tissues. And how powerful it is to be able to prompt myself back into wholesomeness by giving light to those parts that are not aligning properly now but they are healing itself. Because the body’s intelligence is way too perfect, is so much connected to the creator.

I had a session with Natasha {GNM practitioner} recently and then I woke up in the middle of the night with a dream that really represented symbolically where my psyche needs light. So the purpose and direction of where I want to go in my life is actually showing up very clearly now. It’s an internal recalibration that is emerging and it’s being felt and it’s being expanded and it’s also being asked to move, to move. And what it has to move is the way I relate to it thought-wise, myth-wise, mental-wise. So it’s all alive in the body. It’s funny, my first book has a subtitle called Everything I Need Is In My Body. It’s there, I have been working with GNM and noticing how these relational patterns show up as digestive issues, skin, nasal dripping, and eye irritation. So my body is kind of speaking and I’ve been working very thoroughly on rewiring my nervous system.

So very little do we know about our bodies, especially because, in the last century, we’ve been given the opportunity to erase whatever wisdom we had acquired throughout time. It’s very difficult to listen to our instincts and our intuition because the mind is overriding by giving our power to authorities that they not even know that one thing is connected to the next. You see, health nowadays is not holistic. It doesn’t integrate all the bodies. It actually separates everything and treats the symptom with chemicals. It doesn’t ask anything about how you’re feeling, how you’re responding or reacting emotionally. It’s separating everything, and thus the human becomes less and less connected to the wisdom of their vessel.

When I say integration, I mean listening to the full system at once, and tracking how physical sensation, emotional response, mental story, psychic signal, and spiritual orientation move together through time. This is what I call observation and correlation on a moment to moment basis.

This feels like a big personal win I want to acknowledge; I’ve been tracking a deep pattern around belonging and speaking up in groups, and this is the first time I’m able to name it and share it from a grounded place.

“Being in group settings is like a dojo for me, a space to track myself and see how far down the line I have gone. It is how I evolve.”

“I am not asking for anything to be different: I am just naming it, because naming it helps me stay connected to myself.”

I was thinking, basically my critique is something that I have experienced in my life, in the sense that I was very fortunate to remember past lives, so I did ask my mom to take me to the needle man when I was very young, like 10, 11 years old, and she did find a needle man, somebody who had lived in China, and practiced acupuncture, and also he had studied homeopathy, el Doctor Moya so I was introduced very early on to different and ancient modalities that are still called “alternative” lol, but for me they are not alternative but essential, hence I started having a relationship with my body differently, although I have to admit that a lot of the process in my life has been to recognize the amount of disassociation I’ve had in my body, trying to remember moments in my life that they created an impact, and I tend to forget them, but anyway.

“Consciousness permeates everything.”

~Itzhak Bentov, Stalking the Wild Pendulum, 1977

The Body Electric

The body is electric, the body is qi, prana, elán vital, the body is information in motion, and that current carries meaning through the nervous system, through sensation, through emotion, through dream, through timing.

There is electricity that carries information in the body through the nervous system, and there is electricity that shows up through how we repair, how we regulate, how we perceive, James Clerk Maxwell writes about light itself as an electromagnetic disturbanc.e

“In the form of waves propagated through the electromagnetic field”

~James Clerk Maxwell, “A Dynamical Theory of the Electromagnetic Field,” 1864.

James Clerk Maxwell gave language to a reality we live inside every second, a field where electric and magnetic activity belong to one continuum, where changing conditions create waves, and light becomes an expression of that movement. This matters here because the body reads life through signal, timing, charge, and coherence, the brain and nervous system communicate through bioelectric patterning, and tissue participates through electrical potentials generated by pressure, motion, vibration, and load, which is why breath, humming, slow movement, and environment change the felt organization of the whole system, and why the temple responds when I change rhythm. Breath is the steering wheel, the diaphragm is the metronome, and the vagus nerve is part of how the body reads safety, which is why rhythm changes perception.

Actually, I would like to say that in my second book, The Art of Synthesis and the Architecture of My Value, I go much deeper into the body, vertebrae by vertebrae, weaving and revealing what the body holds when I listen closely, and how that listening becomes a method of integration and synthesis.

Until surgery became a main thing, humans leaned more on direct experience of vitality, and even now surgery can prove a lot, yet it never quite captures the most important thing, which is energy moving through the body. When we die, something leaves, and whatever name we give it, soul, spirit, life force, that leaving is real, and it makes me curious about how to speak of that in the language of electricity through qi, prana, elán vital, through the current that animates the nervous system and organizes perception. Energy shifts form, it transforms, and those transformations can begin in the mind and then mirror as physiology, as a crisis, as a resolution, as a reorganization of the whole system. So yes, when I talk about electromagnetic fields I’m also pointing toward frequencies and dimensions, because integration is the point, and the temple is a whole system.

The moment you change your perception is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body.

Beliefs and thoughts alter cells in your body.

~Bruce H. Lipton

I’ve shared before how much I’ve been working with wavelengths, with sound, with harmonics, and the last few weeks I got myself a frequency generator where I just…

You are about to enter into Monika’s universe, where her inquiry may align you to new dimensions. You are about to cross a threshold into the unknown; (surrender to the experience).

Hello everybody. Today when I write this is the 1st of January. Even though in antiquity many cultures did not start the year on January 1st, the Western world normalized this date across the globe through the Julian and later the Gregorian calendar, a civic agreement that shaped how time is counted, how administration moves, and how decisions are timed. The Roman decision to begin the civic year on January 1st was tied to administration and war, so consuls could take office earlier and campaign sooner; later, Julius Caesar stabilized the calendar through reform.

Other calendars remain alive and coherent on their own terms: the the Chinese calendar, Hindu calendars, Buddhist calendars, Hebrew calendar, the Islamic Hijri calendar, and others. Some are lunar, some are lunisolar, some are solar; the rhythm shapes the way a culture experiences time.

Having said that, numerology wise. We just finished 2025, and for me, to be honest, it was the best year of my life. I consider best (as inner maturation), because it was a year I gave myself the opportunity to dive deep into my nervous system and to go into areas I had not wanted to enter because I was not prepared. So I cherish that, and I also know that this new year 2026 [2+2+6=10=1), a year one, is going to propel many different things. My birthday is at the end of April, so this last year I was on a four number, very foundational (It’s the year of foundations, plans, systems, discipline, and tangible results,) and in 2026 I move into a five number, changes and adaptations. I am ready for it. 2026: freedom through movement and learning through experience inside a collective year of initiation, new starts, leadership, fresh timelines, and first moves.

One of the things I’m noticing is that until not long ago, when people gave me ideas, I was not very accepting of ideas from others. I’m a Manifestor, and the whole “you should” thing has its texture. Right now I listen. I do not have to do what anyone tells me, and I can let an idea lead me to a window of opportunity I had not considered. That is a real shift for me.

On New Year’s Eve, my friend Anastasia told me how much she was enjoying my recent articles, adding beautiful compliments that moved me; she said that entering my blog is like stepping into a new realm that is surprisingly different, yet exciting, so I listened and decided to try the opening you heard. It was her idea to use The Twilight Zone, which is perhaps my favorite TV show from the end of the 60s; it gave me chills and opened different dimensions to my young self, I am grateful for her comment; this one is for you, Ana.

I am taking this January as a real threshold. The solstice already turned the light, and now the month turns the psyche. Capricorn holds the backbone of this whole sequence. Capricorn is time; Capricorn is maturation; Capricorn is the part of you that acts with consequence, that chooses what can endure, that builds with devotion instead of mood. So I am going to walk you through this like a journey; I would like you to feel these archetypes and (embody) them because they are new cycles, and each initiation expands the exact area of your life where Capricorn sits.

Where strategy can be crafted wisely, where your individual journey can define and orient the soul for a long stretch of what is being shaped; spend time within, giving yourself the opportunity to plan for a thriving future free of shackles. You already know that I equate freedom with financial freedom, as freedom means having more than one option, and that additional option takes you away from the possibility of complying to authority against your will for lack of leverage; Venus archetype.

So here it goes.

Calendar aid for January 2026, Eastern Time

Date | Time EST | Transit | Exact degree

Jan 02 2026 | 9:37 am | Chiron stations direct | 22° Aries 36’

Jan 03 2026 | 5:02 am | Full Moon | 13° Cancer 01’

Jan 06 2026 | 11:36 am | Sun conjunct Venus | 16° Capricorn 22’

Jan 07 2026 | 9:43 pm | Venus conjunct Mars | 18° Capricorn 09’

Jan 09 2026 | 6:41 am | Sun conjunct Mars | 19° Capricorn 13’

Jan 09 2026 |12:35 pm |Venus opposite Jupiter | 20° Capricorn 12’

Jan 10 2026 | 3:42 am | Sun opposite Jupiter | 20° Capricorn 07’

Jan 10 2026 | 9:25 am | Mars opposite Jupiter | 20° Capricorn 05’

Jan 11 2026 | 11:13 am | Venus square Chiron | 22° Capricorn 38’

Jan 12 2026 | 3:31 pm | Sun square Chiron | 22° Capricorn 39’

Jan 13 2026 | 5:33 pm | Mars square Chiron | 22° Capricorn 40’

Jan 14 2026 |3:17 am |Mercury opposite Jupiter |19° Capricorn 34’

Jan 16 2026 | 1:20 am | Mercury square Chiron | 22° Capricorn 41’

Jan 17 2026 | 7:43 am | Venus enters Aquarius | 0° Aquarius 00’

Jan 18 2026 | 2:40 am | Mercury conjunct Mars | 26° Capricorn 03’

Jan 18 2026 | 10:11 am | Moon conjunct Mars | (Capricorn)

Jan 18 2026 | 10:47 am | Moon conjunct Mercury | (Capricorn)

Jan 18 2026 | 2:51 pm | New Moon | 28° Capricorn 43’

Jan 19 2026 | 8:45 pm | Sun enters Aquarius | 0° Aquarius 00’

Jan 19 2026 | 11:04 pm | Venus conjunct Pluto | 3° Aquarius 19’

Jan 20 2026 |11:41 am | Mercury enters Aquarius | 0° Aquarius 00’

Jan 21 2026 | 10:49 am | Sun conjunct Mercury | 1° Aquarius 37’

Jan 22 2026 | 12:15 pm | Mercury conjunct Pluto | 3° Aquarius 24’

Jan 23 2026 | 4:16 am | Mars enters Aquarius | 0° Aquarius 00’

Jan 23 2026 | 5:28 am | Sun conjunct Pluto | 3° Aquarius 26’

Jan 26 2026 | 12:34 pm | Neptune enters Aries | 0° Aries 00’

Jan 27 2026 | 6:01 pm | Mars conjunct Pluto | 3° Aquarius 34’

Jan 29 2026 | 5:17 am | Mercury conjunct Venus | 14° Aquarius 57’

The journey (written Jan 3rd)

We begin with Chiron stationing direct, and then the full moon on January 3rd. Which it started with BANG {unless you are under a rock, The United States snatched Maduro from Venezuela in a major military op. quick fact Venezuela’s chart has the sun at 13° of cancer, and the USA at 12° cancer, that is where the Full Moon was at the exact time of the OP»}

This is the gate where we are now, the psyche gets lit up through the emotional body. Cancer and Capricorn hold the axis of inner | outer Authority and emotional needs and outer support, and Jupiter in Cancer stands across from the Capricorn cluster like an amplifier of feeling, meaning, belonging, protection. Making a T-square is Chiron in Aries as the courage requirement, this is where you feel what matters, and you also feel what must mature. This is where the nervous system becomes part of your intelligence.

Then the initiations begin in Capricorn, one by one.

Sun conjunct Venus in Capricorn sets a new phase relationship between my will and my needs, and it makes the question practical: what do I require in order to stand in my own authority, so I can engage with others from choice and leverage, and not from depletion. In Capricorn, this becomes about standards, timing, and consequence, because the need is not sentimental, it is structural, it is the baseline that lets me build, decide, and relate without bargaining away what I know I need.

Venus conjunct Mars in Capricorn brings my essential needs into contact with desire and initiation, and I feel the pressure of a clean decision that wants embodiment. Venus clarifies what I require to be resourced and steady, Mars brings the courage to act on it, and Capricorn turns that meeting into a plan that can be repeated, measured, and sustained, so my desire stops floating and becomes directed effort, and my needs stop being negotiable and become the ground from which I move. Just remember what you initiated February 2024, the last time these created a new cycle at 6° AQUARIUS.

Sun conjunct Mars is the ignition point of the whole Capricorn sequence. The Sun brings identity, vitality, and the will to choose; Mars brings initiation, courage, heat, and the capacity to act. In Capricorn, this conjunction wants disciplined action, stra…

Stanza I

Embodying my nervous system

Oh Lord, this one is curvy and bold, sincere and curious, courageous and soft, strong when needed. This is my song for 2025.Lord, I do thank you for remembrance. I do thank my soul for listening to my inner voice screaming silence and no more attention, where distracting factors kept me from being kind to my beautiful self.

Embracing a softer edge has been the challenge, since I thrive in structure, order, and support. Yet trust needed wisdom that is lived, not read or transmitted even. It needed time to weave and unweave past and no longer vital chords.

An air of sadness kept me attentive to observe the times we are leaving behind, with care, in forgiveness and at times forgetfulness that can stem from the yearning to evolve. Sweet soul, the seeking has long ceased, and the caring, weaving path of embodied attention began to show signs of emotional maturity. Oh, I am blessed indeed to have the power of words and the gift of colors, and most important, the union with love.

I am blessed. Thank you, 2025, that started with a bang and kindly showed me to trust myself instead of others.

“Each of us born as a citizen of two worlds, each a descendant of eternity, and each a child of time.”Michael Meade

Stanza II

Perception and Value

Nothing dies without having life resurface with a different shape.The current monetary system has shifted, and one cannot see it with the same lens.

Bitcoiners become Austrian economists and, after that, start reading and understanding macro, for it is through the comparison of other goods and semi-scarce assets that one can understand what is happening and what each character in the story is playing.

Treasury bonds.Stable coins.Old fiat, filthy currency.Precious and rare minerals.Bitcoin, options, derivatives, futures, you name it.And obviously s**t coins all play a part.

Looking closely, in the micro, and also with distance and timeframes that vary, the macro starts shaping a story that most myopia is unable to track.

It is about the real transformation of value, and how humanity has given all its value to institutions, even now, that maneuver in sophisticated ways to get more bucks for your time.

What to do?

In my case, I like to study behavior so my emotional body does not panic when a wavelength goes too high or too low. Instead, I take time to keep questions open, big and small inquiries, and I feel mostly very blessed.

Stanza III

The word art comes from the Latin ars, meaning skill, craft, method, a knowledge embodied through practice. In Greek, the parallel term is technē (τέχνη), which means skill or the art of making, a form of knowing that lives in the body through doing. From this comes kallítechnēs (καλλιτέχνης), from kallós (καλός), meaning beautiful or noble, and technē, meaning skill. Kallítechnēs names the practice of skill carried with beauty, care, and discernment.

Art, in this sense, is practiced intelligence shaped into form.

I am blessed because one of the ways that I can create, among many things other than writing, is creating shapes, environments, playing with materiality, hiring fabricators, having the blessing of commissioners that trust my vision to the point that they give me opportunities to create work that is permanent and that can be seen in subway stations, universities, schools, hospitals, etc.

I continue to do this work in a most devotional way because I understand the complexity and the beauty of this opportunity to be able to create something that listens to the needs of a community, in lieu of having adoration or a statue of reverence from the public, because most of the people that see my work have no idea who did it, and it does not matter, because the work is there to connect them to themselves, not to me. Yes, some people will know, but that is not the reason why I do it.

This is a big difference from what happened after I left New York. I left that slavery of reputation and personas that needed to be played in order to fulfill the opportunity to contribute to society, so I am no longer a slave of that, and I am still blessed because even though I made that clear and separated myself from all the mechanics, I have been able to continue showing that what matters is what I do, not what I say.

By presenting works that are well received and that enhance specific locations, this year I was able to install two different pieces in two different venues. One at the University of Washington in Seattle, Arcana. And in the last few weeks, the piece Vida was installed in San Antonio. I do not yet have the final images of that work; they will be produced sometime in January. I am very grateful that I can also serve as a being who is able to create shapes, colors, and meaning for communities.

“The goal is to become more aware and less concerned.”

Stanza IV

Creativity. Poetry, music, as a way of representation and also creation. It is different from art. It is a choosing of light before dark, while knowing that awareness of the dark is the only way to find the light. Choosing light over dark, and looking for the dark to find your way through the light.

Stanza V

I cannot settle for one subject because my mind is very broad, and only in the last years did I realize how powerful it is to be able to synthesize, instead of focusing on only one subject, which is what I was supposed to do in school, and it drove me nuts and I drove everybody crazy.

Now, as an adult, I really enjoy jumping from one subject to the next, enriching my knowledge through curiosity, widening my scope, and then coming back to share whatever I share with you. I think this is a beautiful thing I have become very aware of, and I have been unapologetic about sharing and linking one thing to another, because that is how my mind works.

I receive a lot. I process a lot. Then I focus on something. I become really, really, really focused on one subject, and then I can share it. Overall, I am always speaking from my very wide antenna.

Stanza VI

I orient through four ways of attunement.I take life best when things are quiet and not forced, rather cool. When schedules or pressure are rigid, I do not perform. I receive passively, visually, through inner images and subtle impressions. I know that what nourishes me arrives when there is space that is clear, and my body knows when to take in and how much.

I need distance, elevation, and perspective, like living on a tower, or places that feel like mountains or high, with high vision, and also spaces that offer emotional resonance rather than control. My environment is shaped through alignment, and I can very seldom contribute when there is force. If the person, if the environment is aligned, then I breathe in openness.

Here is where my focus sharpens. I see the world through people, networks, relationships, society. My mind tracks what works and succeeds, what moves cleanly through the social field. This is my one directed beam, precise and structured, observing how systems and humans move together. I understand their needs and act successfully.

Hope and acceptance move me, carried by a very receptive mind. When I trust, clarity comes. When I accept, my mind rests. I lose my way when I try to repair, fix, or manage what has never been there for me to carry. There is a correct posture for me, and it is to allow, to surrender.

I have a powerful polymath profile, creative, strategic, perceptive, and deeply designed for absorption and impact. I am built to see patterns, synthesize complex fields, and share what I see in ways that move others. I carry an unusually open and receptive system that makes me a natural creator, a facilitator, a visionary, and a bridge across disciplines.Three parts of me receive. One part of me focuses. It is like a wide antenna with a single lens, absorbing life, then seeing clearly.

Variables orient humans once authority ha…

The Beach; the Vortex; the Field

Today’s Monday, just came back from the beach. It was such a beautiful moment. It was very windy, and it was very sunny, and the air was crisp, and the water was salty, crisp as well. A little bit violent, but not too much for me not to venture in. At times I think about the vortex where I live, where these lines meet and create this energy field that makes me feel so home, connected, and where I can almost measure the qualitative energy that makes me connect to other dimensions. The sea, the water, the salt, the wind are all elements that I can feel with my senses, but there are other parts that are not to be sensed in a physical way, felt either emotionally or more through me, with a different authority that is the authority of the divine in me.

The Chart; the Release; the Celebration

I just looked at my astrology chart, and I’m like, holy s**t, I just had the transiting South Node in Virgo conjunct my 8th house Pluto, over the weekend on Dec 20th, I was aware of it for months as I have intentionally worked with it, yet, I forgot about it during the New Moon + Mars on my south node, squaring transiting Saturn and Neptune, which have been squaring my nodes in Cap/Cancer & Ceres the last months, but then I realized, “Girl, you’ve done good, you’ve released a lot” and I’m not going to go through all the details of what happened to me last week, because I’ve been processing so much data, information, while I’ve been rewiring my nervous system in the last nine months, that is just a celebration for me right now, there was a breakthrough and it was YUGE! I am grateful for that.

Capricorn Season; the Spine; Emotional Wavelengths

Nothing more Capricorn than the grind. I’ve been building, building, building. I’ve been slowly waiting. I’ve been ascending, descending. I’ve been waiting. I’ve been patient. I’ve been impatient. Oh, I love Capricorn season. Why? Because that’s where my South Node is. It’s not just familiar, but instead of pushing back familiarity, I embrace the beauty of it, how it builds slowly, slowly. And then with time you can see how things mature, how they are shaped, or where the direction is heading. What I learned through studying the spine, the 33 vertebrae (research for my book) is that it can be flexible; it can be breathable, it can be gentle, and protective. It can bring an embrace and embody wisdom with time, patience with care.

The Moon is integrated as a polarity point of what real authenticity, authorship and authority mean, an awareness of emotions that need to be embodied, felt, more than understood. See, emotions are wavelengths; in order to embrace them, one has to let the wavelength be, with its difference in frequency; some peaks have different timeframes, and allowing them to be expressed, and to have their own timing too, that’s important. So it’s neither all loose or everything constrained. This is the Capricorn season. Yeehaw!

The Twelfth House; Asking for Light; Glimpses of 2025

When I know all these personal planets will line up in my Twelfth House, and that I cannot see them. I could only ask for the light to reveal them, and I’m re studying Biogeometry right now, so BG3 becomes one of the ways I name that harmonizing quality when the field feels coherent.

The liminal space is a place where the twilight merges with its Higher Harmonic of Ultraviolet, described as an energy quality found at dawn, associated with a realm of spiritual manifestation and ritual, where angels dwell.

They will be revealed during the Full Moon on January 3rd, but because I am building that timeframe, I started seeing the glimpses of joy, of when finally the shape of 2025 took form, as I was slowly allowing more space to be built. This last week has been amazing in that sense. I’m looking forward with patience. I’m not there. I’m here.

No Synthesis Yet; The Build Up; Saturn’s Last Touches

Not having a synthesis all the time is a great thing in times of re-structuring. Humanity is in the middle of building something absolutely BRAND NEW, there’s no synthesis yet, there is an initial idea, and then there’s the grinding of the build up, and then with time we can look back and say Holly Molly! this painful and dark side was actually the edge and the beginning of the new.

It’s interesting, I could do the synthesis of my 2025, and that’s closing with the South Node of the Moon that still has some reverberation as it is within a 2° orb, as it just happened. So in the next two months I’m going to get the synthesis of this immense year of inner value and outside quietude, giving meaning to the second part title of my book, The architecture of Value.

While this happens, I’m already building the platform of the future, and it still cannot be concretized, but it has these strong foundations. I am in the exercise of strategizing how I would like my life to unfold. As Saturn will finally leave Pisces on February 13, 2026 at 7:11:39 pm ET, it will completely remind me that my second Saturn return that started in March 2023, almost three years, has been very fulfilling and supportive, as both my identity and the architecture of my value were being reshaped in a different view from the first Saturn return back in 1994, which is when I moved to New York, to the United States.

And right now, [which I have considered in the last three years,] if I should stay here, should I move, and I have decided that this question is still a big question, but the more I look at my chart, & the chart of the United States, I know that there’s a reason why I’m living in this vortex that I live in as my chart and that of this country are fated….

I mentioned I’m taking time back to re-study Biogeometry, which I did with Dr. Ibrahim Karim at the end of 2023, the courses were intense, but the info needed to land properly and the structure needed to be shaped, and right now, while Saturn is doing the last touches in Pisces, it has given me the glimpse of its nature, and reminded me how during 1996 - 1997 Saturn in Aries supported me to become a real artist. Right now, I’m getting ready for Saturn getting into my third house, which is going to be amazing, because the structures that I’m building are more about how I’m going to be communicating from the place where I am right now after building the architecture of my Value.

Evolutionary Timing; The Middle; The Correction

This article wants to remain in the build phase and refuses forced synthesis, because the evolutionary work is happening in the middle, inside the tension, inside the training. Yeah, there’s no resolution yet. It’s just knowing that we’re building towards there »»>.

Venus in sagittarius now squares Saturn + Neptune, it means that there was a seeking for idealization; it’s a third quarter square, Venus is asking, what do I need essentially? how to return to my inner needs and values, and how to get leverage before I commit to another structure of another relationship or another way to embody this reality that is fading and being resurrected. Neptune is actually telling me at twenty nine degrees of Pisces, hey, it could all be an illusion, so make sure that you understand that there’s a veil, and there’s no boundary. That’s what Neptune is doing with Saturn as well. So the vow is about the correction, holding myself, understanding it.

Mars in Capricorn, Mars is also a three quarter square with Saturn, Neptune, and Ceres. It is slowly going through my Twelfth House Capricorn, and is still revealing what needs to be seen before it crosses my Ascendant somewhere at the beginning of February. Last time venus and mars initiated a new cycle was on 02/22/2024, right on my ascendant, these last two years Oh la la! they have been quite formatting of my new individuality and liberation at the same degree, that day the Sun was on my Saturn, giving light to a structure that was starting to be reshaped before entering my second house of values.

YOU CANNOT MAKE THINGS UP, astrology is MATH, is HARMONICS, is a…

I feel that it is imperative to move towards a complete integration of what we call the divine to what people call the source, where some more religious call G*d, Christ, Jesus, the Buddha, Mohammed, Shiva, the light, the divine, WUJI anything you can call what is sacred.

What we call the core of it all, All that Is, aka consciousness. Instead of staying in a place where we are completely divided inside and out of ourselves because of ideologies, rituals, perspectives, that they don’t seem to make any more sense. So there is an urgency of integration and of inner coherence, of returning to a lived relationship with the divine that does not depend on belief systems, gurus, or meditation retreats, teachings, banners, etc.

I’m tracking a closing cycle, and I can feel that the collective tension is mirroring an internal tension that many people are carrying, where the mind tries to hold certainty, where the psyche tries to hold identity through belonging, and where the heart knows that the era of borrowed meaning is completely dissolving into dust. I would like to speak directly to that, because ideology has become the easiest way to outsource truth, and outsourcing truth creates inner division, that leads to relational division, and collective division, the cost is obvious now because it fractures people from their own intelligence and it fractures communities into endless argument without resolution, and it doesn’t allow people to connect to each other or to reconnect to their own authentic selves.

I’m writing this from my heart because I can feel that the only stable meaning right now comes from trust in the divine as an internal reality. Trust is what is coming through Source. Trust is the totality of all things. It’s all that is. Trust is the intelligence of the Creator. Trust is what lives inside the body and inside the heart and inside our soul. I am interested in this moment when we stop looking outward for permission to know what we know and we stop treating the divine as an idea that must be defended and we start living as if our consciousness is already part of the Source because the remembering reorganizes action, value, and perception without force.

A moment of full alignment.

I can feel how silence becomes intelligent in a moment like this and how the nervous system registers truth before the mind can and will explain it, and how coherence becomes a form of law that reality responds to.

Not long ago, I accepted that the first time I really felt true self love was when I witnessed my mother’s death. And throughout these last two years, I have been able to integrate and rewire my nervous system so I can totally open a space that is very flexible and caring and loving so I hold the divine in me.

This is where I want to bring people into a place where the question becomes simple and severe. What happens when I return to inner truth and allow the truth to guide my choices, my timing, my relationships, my speech, my work, and my attention?

I want the tone of this piece to hold a threshold because I am watching a collective cycle complete and I’m watching people reach for stories that keep them split. I’m also watching the possibility of a different response, which is trust as a lived orientation, trust as an inner authority, trust as the field that holds me steady when external sanity falls and breaks down.

Dream

I had a very vivid dream and it stayed in my body after I woke up, a brief scene in that liminal space between dreaming and being awake, a familiar presence, an embrace that carried weight, grief, and release, very little language, mostly feeling, mostly the kind of contact that registers in the nervous system as truth.

The way I hold dreams now comes from the same place I’m writing from, trust in the divine as an internal reality, because when I am connected to that field, dreams and insights arrive with a certain clarity and a certain timing, and then life corroborates them in simple ways, through a conversation, a tone, a confession, a reality that echoes the dream without needing interpretation.

It reminds me of how after my father died, I searched for him in books, philosophies, and journeys. In every relationship that I had, whether it’s a friendship or intimate, there was always a part of expectation, always trying to feel resonance with the other soul. This time the feeling is very gentle. It’s more complete. The dream doesn’t ask me to do anything. I don’t want to decipher it because I know it has something deeper, something continuous. It shows that something has already shifted inside of me, and it feels like it could be a closure of this 2025 without rupture, with care, without expectation.

I’ve been working a lot on that longing that I’m integrating this year, and because we’re talking about the divine, I actually ended up integrating the divine and the God in me, and the dream is so vivid because it is embodied. That urge is already within me, and I thought it was beautiful to have a dream with a familiar presence, with a friendly, profound relationship, that made me really feel very connected to the divine. So thank you. G*D.

Spiritual detanglement

Mars at 29 degrees of Sagittarius square Neptune at 29 degrees of Pisces emphasizes closure at the last degrees of Sagittarius and Pisces, and Neptune being newly direct intensifies the sense of completion. Then new moon squares Neptune, through the same dissolving field. After that, Venus squares Neptune. After that, Mercury enters the same space. This is the sequence I’m feeling as identity, value, and mind moving through one dissolving field, and it correlates with a month where the psyche cannot lean on external sanity in the same way.

On December 19th, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius at 28 degrees, squaring Neptune and Saturn, in conjunction with the Galactic Center, also approaching my South Node, and it happens one day before the solstice.

This is happening in my eleventh house, where Sagittarius has the last degrees and very close to my nodal axis. My nodal axis is 3 degrees of Capricorn, so my South Node is going to be activated first by the moon, Mars, then by the sun, then by Venus, and last by Mercury. Because Saturn and Neptune are now also squaring my Nodal axis, I think this is a moment of reckoning for me, where it actually makes sense I’m finishing my book.

Jupiter still squares Chiron. Jupiter is in Cancer retrograde, and Chiron is on my Mars, and what I’m feeling is that whatever insecurity I’ve felt before about being courageous, I’m going back to a comfortable place, the last comfortable place one has been before being alive, the mother’s womb, the environment that is safe, where one feels protected. I am starting to feel that protection, and it’s within, it’s not an ideal, it’s not a ritual, it’s more trust, trusting in God, it’s more energy.

For the next several weeks, the synthesis is here. Time to quiet out, remove myself from the main stage, keep observing past behavior and current behavior, and to synthesize from what comes within.

Around January, we’re going to see all these personal planets meeting one another, closing and starting cycles, and the numerology coincides with these relational resets. At the end of January each personal archetype will meet with Pluto in Aquarius, a collective pressure to transform how authenticity could feel. The conjunction sequencing to Aquarius culminating with contact with Pluto intensifies the evolutionary demand for clean alignment because Pluto brings consequence, death, and irreversible transformation.

The Saturn and Neptune conjunction on February 20th, right after that, frames the larger threshold as a collective restructuring of reality, meaning, and responsibility. Last time Neptune met Saturn at 10 degrees Capricorn was November 9, 1989, and that was the fall of the Berlin Wall and all the structures that represented ideologies that were born and enhanced during similar conjunctions in 1917 and 1953. History shows in cycles, humans tend to ignore the signs.

There is going to be a lunar eclipse on February 17. So from this lunation in December until the eclipse, we’re going to have an array of dissolutions, closures, tension, and actually an incredible space to evolve at our own will, at our own awareness. The sequence is beautiful because first it is a personal realization, it is an intimate reconnection to ourselves with the divine, with the creator of life, the one that generates opportunities for evolution, and then as time progresses until the conjunction of Saturn and Neptune, then it becomes a social reset where we will be completely ready for all the courage and changes that we have been able to bring forth.

Coda

If I could erase a decade, I would erase from 2009 until 2020. I’m laughing because sometimes in my iPhone some old pictures appear, and you know how they make these little movies with the pictures and they put this silly music and everything is very nostalgic, and I look at the pictures of my life with the people that were part of my life, and I go like, what the f**k was going on in my life. And I think everything started collapsing on, I will say exactly, February 2009. This is like the very beginning of a very big breakdown in my life, the nodes were on my ascendant, while bitcoin was being created, and it took so many years. It took until 2014 to actually walk out of that marriage, walk out of a situation that was unsustainable, and then from that walking out on December 19, 2014, until I moved to Miami Beach on the last day of July in 2020, it took so much courage, so much soul searching, so much of me in a good way, I’m not complaining, to just find the strength back in me and feel myself with authenticity, with generosity, with a lot of the things that I’m feeling right now. But then from 2020 until now, through the death of my mom and many other little deaths, because so many things have been dying, I made so much space for caring about myself, and most importantly, to really allow the divine to be inside of me 24/7.

So let me reframe it. I’m not going to wipe out my past. The past is past, and the deeds were there, and they all happened for a reason. What I will do eventually is accept and integrate it in my current life. Because without that pain, without that growth, without that evolution, I wouldn’t be here. All I needed was movement, and I did move. And I thank God that I did. And even the pain right now shows me where I was giving myself an allegiance to, where I was really not covering my base, where I was really looking so much for acceptance and validation, but I was not taking care of my needs. The people I chose, when I look at them, it’s incredible right now. I can thread them all in one line, and they all have the same characteristics. With me, I was unable to see what I was attracting, because I was attracting what I needed to integrate in my life. Quite interesting. So acceptance, next step. Surrender, next step.

Even though nobody, including myself, knows what’s coming, nobody knows, and there are so many charlatans out there saying this is going to happen, this is happening, and everything is still so much under the fog, so even though nobody knows what’s going to happen, there’s only one thing that is certain, and it is surrendering to one’s design. That’s it. As long as I surrender to my design and I allow the divine in me, I’m all good, and I’m very happy to say that that’s what I do now, and that’s what I didn’t do for a long time in my life.

Last but not least, though, as all these squares pass by my South Node in Capricorn, 3 degrees, they will enter at 7 degrees into my twelfth house. So at the end of the month, the Sun enters the twelfth house and all these other planets come close as well. So this is another closure. This is until probably the first week of February, when the Sun is going to rise on my ascendant. It feels like it’s time to really take time to surrender and to have this synthesis, this closure. And I totally feel like that, like not being so much out there. This is the time for revision, and I’m going to use the time for writing or putting together the last chapters of my book. Also bringing forth the energy of the future that is already seeded and is already seeing some sprouting. It’s this liminal space that I feel so familiar with, as my whole chart is very balsamic. And even Human Design, many six lines. So it’s just this moment I’m so accustomed to, as the moment of synthesis.

To yearn for the divine incarnated is the wish of my soul now and music is the best way I connect to the divine when I am not in a state of grace.

happy new moon, restart, reset.

Here I am sitting in the middle of the night, probably 9 PM, and I changed all the bulbs in my house to red light, so it looks a little bit like the red district, but it has really helped me change my sleeping patterns, because as soon as I turn on the lights I feel like winding down. And I am also waking up really early, so I can see the sunrise, and it just changes everything.

I’ve been wanting to stay quiet, but then there are other things that I need to process, so basically what I’m doing here is I’m going to process out loud. I’m going to process out loud and take time to process.

Two thousand twenty five has been about rewiring my nervous system. I am watching how my body reacts to everything: to light, to silence, to money, to people, to messages that arrive and to messages that never arrive. I am listening to the speed of my thoughts, the way my heart races or slows down, the way I reach for my phone or for my own breath. It is as if my whole system is learning a new pace, a new baseline of safety that lives inside my cells and not in the reactions of others.

What am I processing? I don’t know how to explain this year. It’s been the year. I’ve been saying it for a while that it’s the best year of my life. Second best is 2020 and 2021. Those years were amazing. I just empowered myself to be free, and I felt what freedom was like for real.

This one is more about: I know I’m free right now, but with 2025, 2026, it’s about having the courage to go all the way. I’m all in. I’m all in, in life, in expansion, in feeling, in being quiet, in being there for me. It’s absolutely beautiful.

On the other hand, some things, people, and situations have run their course, and I’ve done a little bit of mourning. I’ve been slow. Now that I discovered the beautiful GNM, I can understand that probably I have been mourning, my mom died in 2023, but I’ve been mourning other things too, I’m mourning my life in New York; 27 frigging years. I’m finally mourning myself within a twenty year-long marriage. I’m also mourning my father for the first time, Since I jumped into emotional detachment to protect my pain; I’m mourning a lifestyle.

When I mourned my mom, I was holding her very tight, day and night, she was with me, then Mayra, my shaman, passed at the beginning of this year, unexpected to me, but she is also very present. I have this thing that I am present with dead people. I can go back and forth. I am present in constant time. yet I know when it is time to let go. dissolve, undo, give thanks, let go…

Dissolving with soap

Today, Wednesday the tenth at 7:30 a.m., Neptune went direct at 29 degrees of Pisces. I want to speak about this, because I think I have been aligning so much with my transits that I am capable of receiving messages beforehand that help me decipher what is unfolding. Neptune entered Aries briefly on April first, then went retrograde and re-entered Pisces 10/22/25, and in that return a lot of confusion surfaced. It felt like it messed the structure I had prepared for 2025, because deeper information needed to come through, now I feel I can restructure it with more clarity.

Neptune in my second house has been dissolving old attachments to value and dissolving illusions about worth. Saturn has been traveling with Neptune, and both have been squaring my nodal axis in the fifth and eleventh houses. This has been asking me to see the patterns that shaped my creativity, my friendships, my communities, my pleasure, and my sense of contribution. It has been showing me where I needed to reclaim sovereignty over my resources and over the way I invest my energy; my old scaffolding of self worth has been dissolving so I can build something true.

At the same time, Uranus has been moving through my fourth house, and this is the key that opened the door: when Uranus entered Gemini, I felt a disruption in the foundation of my being. It felt like instability at first, but now I understand it as the revelation that my nervous system was shaped long before I had language. My system adapted to my mother’s needs, to her anxiety, to her responsibilities after my father died. I became the one who sensed the emotional climate before it shifted. I was not the oldest child, but the one chosen to support her, and the structure of my nervous system was built around managing everyone else. My mom’s gaze had been very critical, very funny at times, and when she could not get her way, it was expressed in restrained anger. I learned to adapt on a day to day basis, my scope was to measure her mood; Is she funny, or frustrated? and I would adapt, little did I know this adaptation that made me survive both as an over caring person and as a clown, would shape my nervous system, until this year when I noticed it was an adaptation, not the truth…

Uranus retrograde made the message even clearer, what I thought were emotional habits were physiological imprints, what I thought were psychological tendencies were survival strategies woven into my body. Now I feel the release of these old codes. My fourth house is being rewired from the root. My inner world is reorganizing so my body belongs to me again.

This aligns perfectly with GNM. Territory, safety, belonging, the sense of who surrounds us and what we must defend or maintain. My conflicts have always been territorial at the root. Where do I feel safe. Where do I feel invaded. Where do I place my body. What do I allow into my field. The nervous system is the first territory we inherit. It tells us what home feels like. And for me, home was vigilance. They align with my Saturn in pisces first house, Neptune in 10th house scorpio with a balsamic moon in the MC 9th house, Uranus balsamic to Pluto 7th/8th and last but not least Jupiter balsamic with the sun 3rd house taurus, everything is an ending and glimpse of a new world, even my ten 6 lines in my human design chart including my 6/2 emotional manifestor profile, I chose to intervene when needed, when not, I am waiting for the next cycle to arise.

Now the map is changing. Neptune dissolves false value as Saturn gives form to what is real, the nodes of the moon show the karmic threads in my fifth and eleventh houses, while Uranus breaks open the foundation so I can build a nervous system for the woman I am now, not the child I once was.

Numbers speak

When I bring numerology into this moment, everything becomes even clearer. The year 2025 adds to nine » Nine is closure; Nine is completion, Nine is the last exhale before the new cycle. I am a sixth. Born April twenty seven, nineteen sixty four, I am in a four year: foundation, structure, base, anchoring. As of my next birthday, I enter a five year: expansion, movement, curiosity, freedom, the work of this year has prepared the ground for the next.

A simple note on GNM. It is German New Medicine, a biological approach that studies how the body responds to shocks, how symptoms follow precise logic, how healing is not random but patterned. It observes brain, organs, psyche as one field. My mind works through observation and correlation. Patterns. Cycles. Signals. And this is where everything begins to make sense. Reading charts regulates my nervous system. Yes, you read right. Watching waves go up and down teaches me that volatility is part of life.

Realignment vs Discipline

This is why I called the part of the blog equilibrium is a process where I read financial charts, as they, believe or not, help me regulate my nervous system, It is the capacity to adapt to internal weather systems, emotional variations, expansions, contractions, shocks, silences. It is knowing how to respond; it is knowing how to return to myself.

It is about realignment and far away from being disciplined. This is what my nervous system is teaching me » with every breath I realign; every habit that became a discipline was limiting me from responding in real time.

I started with a question: why should I, why should I?

Because I want to. Because I feel like it.

The ought to’s no lon…

Is your value pegged to your priced possessions, your cherished relationships, your status, or simply to your truth? How can you trust yourself to make the right decisions about your time on earth?

Current Experiment: echoing July 1944, when forty four allied nations met in Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, to design a new monetary order that pegged their currencies to the dollar and the dollar to gold.

In my current limited and still studying understanding I am watching two structures being built at the same time and together they change what the dollar feels like in daily life.

What is at stake here is reality. What we think is real is what we believe, so our reality is shaped by our belief system. If our beliefs about money, safety and value are based on mirages, then the choices we make with our savings and our time can take us very far from what we actually need.

let’s dive in, shall we?

On one side stands Tether, it calls itself a stablecoin issuer, yet in practice it behaves like a private central bank for people who cannot touch the United States banking system. It holds a gigantic portfolio of United States Treasury bills, plus physical gold and a large stash of Bitcoin. Its token, USDT, is the way hundreds of millions of people in emerging countries hold and move what they experience as dollars. These are not deposits at a regulated bank inside the United States, they are claims on a company incorporated in the British Virgin Islands that now has deep ties with El Salvador.

“Tether is not a cryptocurrency company. It is a private central bank that has dollarized the developing world without permission.”

Shanaka Anselm Perera

The GENIUS Act has drawn a hard line. One dollar system sits inside the United States where stablecoins must be fully backed by cash and Treasuries and supervised by Washington. An offshore dollar system keeps growing where Tether issues its own version of dollars backed by Treasuries, gold and Bitcoin, supervised by no one in particular. For a huge part of the developing world, the issuer of the everyday dollar is no longer the Federal Reserve, it is another private bank.

For me the mirage is simple; on the screen everything still looks like neutral, safe dollars, underneath those balances are completely different IOUs tied to different balance sheets, different political risks and very different levels of control.

The mirage is the shared belief that all of this belongs to one dollar world. In practice it is a layered structure that uses Bitcoin as collateral, Tether as a private dollar engine and GENIUS compliant stablecoins as a public dollar engine, all plugged into the same mountain of government debt.

Mirage: there is nothing stable in stablecoins

On the other side, the Federal Reserve itself is changing its relationship to the Treasury market in a way that I am still learning to grasp. The headlines say that Quantitative Tightening ended on the first of December and that the balance sheet froze around six point five seven trillion after draining more than two trillion from the financial system.

Under that surface sits the plumbing: A Repo is a secured overnight loan> One party hands over Treasuries and receives cash, then reverses the trade the next day; a reverse repo is the same trade seen from the other side. The cash lender parks its money and holds Treasuries as collateral, repurchase agreements have been part of the Federal Reserve toolkit for more than one century. In the United States they show up around nineteen seventeen as a way for the Fed to lend to banks and they grew into a core Wall Street funding tool in the second half of the twentieth century, which is how they ended up at the heart of today’s money market plumbing scam .

The Overnight Reverse Repo Facility was the place where money market funds and other large players could lend their spare cash to the Fed for one night and receive Treasuries. At the peak more than two and a half trillion rested there. That was the cushion, a parking lot of unused liquidity. Now that facility is almost empty; the spare cash has been pulled back into the system and bank reserves sit near the level where small shocks can create big stress.

At the same time the Standing Repo Facility has become the daily escape hatch in the opposite direction. Dealers arrive with Treasuries and instantly turn them into reserves whenever they need dollars. When the Secured Overnight Financing Rate spiked in October this window had to lend eighteen and a half billion in a single day. The backstop that was created for emergencies now looks like a permanent feature of the market.

When I place these two pictures on top of each other the mirage becomes clearer. The Fed has built an architecture where Treasury collateral can always be turned into central bank money on demand through the Standing Repo Facility, while the old buffer of excess cash in the reverse repo facility has almost vanished.

Tether has built a parallel architecture where that same Treasury collateral is transformed into offshore dollar tokens and shipped into the Global South, backed also by gold and Bitcoin, without democratic oversight. One structure is public, one is private, both rest on the same foundation of United States government debt. If Tether fails, hundreds of billions in private dollar claims disappear for people far from Washington. If it thrives, it proves that the power to issue dollars and shape monetary reality can migrate into private hands. At the same time the Fed has shifted into a role of lender of continuous resort in the Treasury market. The monetary system still presents itself as a neutral landscape of interest rates and safe sovereign debt. Underneath, the trick is already in motion and we stand inside the experiment.

There is another layer that sharpens this picture. By forcing stablecoin issuers to hold only Treasury bills, the GENIUS Act wires part of the demand for United States debt directly into stablecoin issuance. The BIS, the Bank for International Settlements, has already pointed to this link. The BIS is literally the bank for central banks. It sits in Basel as the group chat and back office where more than sixty central banks keep reserves, compare notes and quietly agree on how the game should be played. Its research shows that when dollar stablecoins grow, yields on Treasuries fall a little, and when they shrink, yields jump much more. Every expansion of Tether and its peers quietly suppresses borrowing costs, and every contraction hits harder on the way out.

The GENIUS Act, Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for US Stablecoins, hard wires this design into law. It tells every regulated payment stablecoin that its core job is to hold short term Treasuries and sit right next to the Fed and the Treasury market.

In practice it turns stablecoin issuers into narrow banks that live off sovereign debt. The same design that uses Tether as a silent buyer in good times turns into a source of instability when Bitcoin risk unwinds, because every contraction in these balances pulls on the same collateral that holds the system together. If you want a simple translation of the acronym in my own language, GENIUS reads as “oh, we have been fooled again.”

Let us remember twenty twenty two and TerraUSD. TerraUSD tried to hold one dollar through mint and burn mechanics and collapsed to almost zero together with its sister token Luna once the peg broke. Earlier experiments like Basis Cash and Iron Finance also died in self reinforcing spirals once confidence broke and redemptions accelerated. Most of the spectacular failures so far have been algorithmic designs that tried to defend the peg with code and incentives instead of with boring reserves. Tether’s USDT and the GENIUS style payment stablecoins are reserve backed. Their risk looks different. It is less about an instant depeg caused by broken code and more about the quality and transparency of the assets on the balance sheet and the political and le…

Behavior

What does that even mean, to behave?

We can start with the premise of what behavior means etymologically. In English, to behave comes from Old English “behaven”: be and have together, to hold, to surround, to contain, to have oneself in a certain way, the way we carry and conduct ourselves in front of others and in front of life. In French we would say comporter, which is to bring together, to gather who we are and how we act into one gesture. So behavior is how we hold ourselves and how we carry ourselves, the way we bring our parts together in one line of action, the way we draw a definition and move in a direction.

I have been really integrating the idea of what behavior is because I speak about Aristotle showing us the telos of humanity as a pursuit of happiness, and that is already going to decipher and describe the behavior of a collective. When you go to Von Mises in Human Action, he says that this is purposeful behavior. If you go to Carl Jung, we are going to see that behavior is about integrating our unconscious with our conscious.

So where do I stand now?

Studying markets, I always read the behavior of demand and supply; when I look and observe other people’s reactions or responses, including my own, I am looking at behavior and integrity, principles: these are words that have a lot of weight.

If we go to principle, it means beginning: Principium in Latin, the foundation. Integrity means that synthesis is allowed to include other parts. I always say that principles, for me, are a horizontal line where we stand, and integrity as individuals is a vertical line that does have a price, where the individual will arrive to a place and say: I will not bend beyond this height. Integrity is very subjective; we can judge other people for their own lack of integrity, and we can see ourselves where we bend.

Now, I am speaking about all this because Saturn is finally going direct on the 27th of November. That is Thanksgiving here in the United States. After a few months, since July 13, it went retrograde from Aries back to Pisces on September 1st, and now it is going to go direct at 25 degrees of Pisces. It will reach Aries again in February to then approach the final great conjunction with the planet Neptune, who is the ruler of Pisces. Saturn has been in Pisces for the last three years. Try to remember everything that has been going on in your life since March 2023.

For me, it was my second Saturn return. They say that when you have done the work, your second Saturn return gives you a lot of goodies. I think I have had a lot of goodies in the last few years: realizations, motivations, achievements, if you want to call it that.

By the way, Mark asked me yesterday in our monthly session what I would say now about the second Saturn return, having effectively been through it, and I told him this: by the time Saturn came back in 2023, I already knew that my most painful turning had been my Chiron return at fifty, when I shattered into a million pieces because I had lived without boundaries and felt completely empty. So I prepared; years before Saturn entered Pisces I chose therapy, I chose to work on boundaries, I chose to start writing my first book as a reflection of that coming of age, and now the second book as a spine of thirty three vertebrae is holding the structure quite gently, because with Saturn in the first house in Pisces I can be any f*****g form, and the only way to give it form is to know myself and take care of myself first. This cycle has been about standing my ground, doing the homework instead of escaping, reparenting myself, feeling both parents at my back while I rebuild my nervous system from the core and stop shrinking to make space for others. My mom died as I was coming out of this second Saturn return, and somehow that sealed the work; I am standing in my own personality now, breathing fully, supporting my own needs without guilt. Second Saturn return was a banger.

Saturn is always slow and it needs direction. It wants to achieve something. It is very concrete. It is very driven. It is driven towards a direction of success. But Saturn is also the father figure, Saturn is the authority that can show us that there is a clean way to go somewhere.

The problems of Saturn or Capricorn are that they can be very constraining, limiting, austere, bland, stingy. It can be a pain in the neck. But I love Saturn because it is the ruler of my South Node, and I have learned to really understand its generosity. Believe it or not, it is very generous because it gives you time, chronos, to basically figure it out.

There are two versions of time. There is chronos, which is like one, two, three, four, five, around the clock. And there is kairos, which is a different kind of time: the right timing, when you align with your frequency and things happen in a more magical way: the opportune and decisive moment.

We are talking about linear time: yesterday, today, tomorrow. That is the kind of time that chronos or Saturn is giving us the power of. When you have achieved your goals and you are a good boy or a good girl, you get a medal, right? Like a dog, you get a little biscuit.

This is ridiculous, because this is how society has been encoded to tell us that we have to behave, therefore we are going to get a prize. A lot of people do it for the prize. They do not do it for the doing itself. Sometimes Saturn or Capricorn lacks a little bit of passion because it is very rigid in the form, concentrated on the little cookie at the end of the rainbow.

I am not. As I wrote a week ago, I am not at all. F**k that s**t. I already sent New York to hell, and my life right now has nothing to do with that kind of rigidity.

Actually, it allowed me to integrate Saturn into the Moon, which is the pairing planet. Saturn is the father. The Moon is the mother. Saturn and Capricorn oppose Cancer, the Moon, our ancestors in a feminine way. I have integrated my feminine side. I do not have to prove anything to anyone. I know I can do it. F**k yeah, I can do it. If there is anybody who can do it, it is me, because I am driven.

The question is always: at what price?

I am not willing to give anything that does not belong to my frequency just because I want to achieve it. Saturn has taught me that even when you do the list and you check all the boxes, you do not necessarily get where you belong.

Belonging comes from the heart. Belonging is embracing an environment that is thriving in opportunities to reconnect to what our emotions are. Otherwise, you stay in Saturn, you become reactive. Sometimes you do not know where these reactions are coming from, and you cannot grow.

To look at Saturn, we have to look not only to the Moon, but also to Mars in Aries and Venus in Libra. They are the squaring quadrants, the cardinals. And guess who is going to go to zero degrees of Aries? Saturn and Neptune in February.

This axis is the beginning of spring and the beginning of fall. This is a beautiful way to talk about this cardinal square where everything initiates. In weather-like conversations, we say that spring begins at zero degrees of Aries, fall begins at zero degrees of Libra, summer begins at zero degrees of Cancer, and winter in the northern hemisphere begins at zero degrees of Capricorn.

So what is it in our lives that we initiate every quarter? Which aspect? When it is in Aries/mars, it is about individuality. That is where Saturn is entering February onwards> the great reset. We saw a bit of this in the summer before it went back retrograde. I saw where my needs are. I know what my value is right now after this long Saturn retrograde.

I will not speak too much about it, because one of the things that I learned is to only share what is needed. Oversharing is devaluing myself. If you really want to get more of what I do, then you have to commit yourself to my offerings. That is all I have to say. You will not get me for too many freebies. That is what I learned during this Saturn retrograde. Mo…

The Tenth house is the performing persona. How do I portray myself out there? Am I writing the best article? Am I speaking the right way? Am I at the right party? Am I meeting the right people? Am I climbing the ladder? Tenth house is b******t, especially in a place like New York. It can eat you up from the core, from the heart. But guess what, you do it. You do it because your ambition is so big that you are so ready to sacrifice everything else just to be in a position. And then when you are in that position, you say, what is all this for, what is all this for, at what cost.

That is a tenth house. And I have my tenth house ruled by Scorpio, so it is very intense. Neptune sits on my Midheaven, so there has always been a doubt, a questioning of what power even means in the first place, and my Moon in Scorpio in the ninth, very close to the MC, keeps making me seek something that goes much deeper than external appearance. The ruler of that house Pluto, is my eighth house in Virgo, so I have a tendency to become even more critical about all the things that I needed to do to get to that place, because it is a direction. So even though there is no time, we treat it like a ladder, like you are escalating, you are arriving to the top. When you treat it with no time, when you see it as a purposeful life, things start deescalating and they start aligning, aligning.

New York City is so FIAT. What does that mean. Fiat is the monetary system that we have been living under since the inception of the Federal Reserve and the moment the dollar was taken off gold in nineteen seventy one. Every single dollar that is made is fake, and the so called value is based on external things and not on real worth. That is what I mean when I say New York is so fiat. People are constantly projecting status, projecting the ladder, projecting ambitions. If the soul in question has no boundaries and merges with the lot, it can experience a sudden shock and eventually a big inner loss. Bitcoiners can be very FIAT, so I am not romanticizing…

So right now what I feel is pure alignment to what my soul came to be, with struggle, with friction. I just came back from New York after five years of living happily in Miami Beach. I had been back in NYC briefly three times, but never more than one day, but this time I stayed a bit longer and it felt like a lifetime. There was not a single instant in that city that told me, oh my God, I am so sad I left. Every single instant was, my God, I am so happy I do not live here anymore, I do not play this game.

There were moments that showed me this very clearly. I went to see my public art piece Duration at the Prospect Avenue station with my friend Efrat. It was bittersweet. I love what I did and at the same time it is not being taken care of. Then I finally visited the World Trade Center memorial. I had never been there since the towers collapsed, and I am still feeling strange about it, like a delayed encounter with a former timeline. And the highlight of everything was going to the MoMA and seeing Ruth Asawa’s work. That was the real nourishment. Everything else was encountering the old me with the new me and having my body adjust to those small moments of recognition.

When I was in New York years ago, the performance was all about doing the right thing at the right time so I would get to the next level of the ladder. I was performing for an inner audience that only cared about the next step. Right now I do not operate like that. Right now I am aligned or I am misaligned, and that is what shows me if I am in the right place at the right time.

I am just going to go very superficial with this, because there are so many layers that I am uncovering that will need to be processed within myself, within my practices, within my practitioners, and it may take a couple of months to really reveal the core of it, but I can summarize it in one thing. My progressed chart.

As I progress

When I was born the Sun was at six degrees of Taurus. In secondary progressions the Sun moves approximately one degree of the zodiac per year of life. Sixty one, almost sixty two years later, my progressed Sun is now at six degrees of Cancer. The Moon in progressions takes about twenty seven and a half years to circle back to the same spot, so it carries a different kind of timing. Right now the progressed Moon is at six degrees of Aquarius on my tenth house in the progressed chart. Six degrees of Aquarius is my Ascendant, and it is making a very interesting finger of God. That means one hundred fifty degrees to my progressed Sun Mercury at six degrees of Cancer in my third house, and to six degrees of Virgo in my fifth house, where Uranus is.

This is very potent, because I just felt like an alien when I went to New York. I felt this is not the timeline that I am supposed to be in, but it was good, because it was so dephased, it was not really facing the same energy. I was able to see the difference. After that, when I got slightly overwhelmed with my body and I was releasing a lot of stuff, it drove me completely deep into the process of not just analyzing, but observing, observing and correlating. It is a profound landscape that I am observing, so many things changing.

Last but not least, the South Node of the Moon in Virgo is just about to encounter my Pluto in the eighth house, so I have been feeling it, I have been really, really feeling it. And today, with this lunation that we had a few days ago, I have Mars and Juno square the Nodes that are in Virgo Pisces, and they square my Pluto and my Chiron. So this is charged, it is charged, and I am very grateful that I have the bandwidth, the willingness, the depth, the clarity, and the energy that it needs to go this deep. I will not bail out. This is all about evolution. And there are times in my life the evolutionary patterns have been kinder. Right now it is rough because this is what I need to see.

Moving forth

From an evolutionary astrology perspective, this whole configuration reads like a precise adjustment in my soul contract around the tenth house. Scorpio ruling that house with Pluto in Virgo in the eighth already describes lifetimes of intense investment in power structures, crisis, and shared resources, where survival and recognition were intertwined and where work in the world was fused with deep emotional entanglement and self analysis. The progressed Moon reaching six degrees of Aquarius on the progressed tenth and my natal Ascendant opens a new cycle of individuation in how I stand in the world; the yod from Uranus in Virgo in the fifth and Sun Mercury in Cancer in the third pushes my creativity and my voice into a new format, one that cannot keep reenacting the old tenth house ladder of New York performance, because the body and the nervous system are now telling the truth of my timing.

The South Node moving toward Pluto in Virgo in the eighth brings forward prior life memory and unresolved material from those old structures, the places where I over committed, over served, or merged beyond my own needs. The square from Mars and Juno to the Nodes during this lunation intensifies the field, asking for clean anger, clean boundaries, and clean agreements in relationship so that my direction of growth in Pisces second house can stabilize around self worth, value, and inner resourcing rather than external validation. In this language, the trip to New York is the ritualized closing of a chapter in which the tenth house persona was built around externalist ambition, so that the same tenth house can now become the place where my soul purpose, my eighth house depth, and my Aquarius Ascendant align into a different form of visibility, less ladder, more frequency, less city script, more coherent home in my own authority.

I want to speak about this further, but I have to say that since I have been observing and correlating my behavior with German New Medicine, GNM, I discovered a new tool that really will make me dive inner and deeper …

What kind of silence in the outside world can teach the inner world of curiosity? There are so many things that I would like to share, but I have decided to withhold them for a bit because I want to savor the insights and the transformations that I am feeling, which have been rewiring my nervous system. Two thousand twenty-five will prove to be a very profound year for my own life, where I actually re-parent myself and really hold my space as a sacred one. I will come back with more information, but that is all I am going to say. It is a sacred place. I am not going to stop sharing; it is the way I am sharing that is being transformed.

The Quiet and potent Pulse of a Cycle Turning: Scorpio New Moon:

The new moon in Scorpio at 28° on the twentieth forms a deep interior chamber. Its conjunction with Black Moon Lilith in a balsamic tone brings material that has been stored in the emotional body, the memory of what has been held before articulation, as it is closing a cycle and beginning a new one. Mercury retrograde in kazimi concentrates perception at the core, where the message is received without distortion. The chart leans inward.

Jupiter retrograde in Cancer trines the lunation and widens that internal field, expanding the place where the body recognizes truth, where nourishment is recalibrated, where instincts speak with clarity. This expansion moves through layers that need integration before expression, a slow internal movement that leads to impactful insights that may emerge.

Saturn and Neptune retrograde in Pisces create a soft but firm boundary around this work, holding space where discernment, refinement, and spiritual hygiene become essential. Saturn is restructuring the subtle body, while Neptune is dissolving what no longer serves the rhythm in a potent end of an era. Together they create a quiet container.

Uranus rx at twenty-nine degrees of Taurus stands as the threshold of the nervous system, signaling the completion of a seven-year cycle of instability, liberation, and internal reorientation. At this final degree, it distills the teaching: coherence through truth, awakening through embodiment, and the stability that forms when value is self-generated. You might have felt this past week as a shaking ground; I personally was able to rewire internally with adaptability.

The timeline between December eleven and seventeen becomes the moment when the message is illuminated. Mercury and the Moon will cross the same Scorpio degree with direct motion, allowing what surfaced in November to be understood without interference. Integration becomes visible. The inner work gains articulation. What was sensed becomes named.

P.S. all presentations in El Salvador went really well, I will bring some documentation next week or so…

happy New Moon.