I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

I talk depression binge-watching TV shows, and what happened when that got taken away from me. And reminding myself about how far my coping skills have come, and how progress counts even when it feels small.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about my upcoming procedure, the dread that’s already mounting concerning the holidays, and the way the world still feels bleak.

Also, there are some audio disturbances that I just couldn’t get out, so shout out to my neighbors for their guest spots! It’s what I get for recording at a different time of day.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about anxiety, an upcoming terrifying event, scary things happening back home, my own fears, a wonderful wedding in the woods we got to be included in. And the most exciting part: a new book project I’m currently working on.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

Death is inevitable, and I am having some big feelings about it. Missing Mom, having a rough week, and people I know are experiencing big, heavy losses right now. Also, I briefly mention suicide and briefly try to find something positive to end the episode on a slightly less heated note.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

In this one, I talk about disordered eating, reading, and a weird connection they share for me. I talk about struggling with disordered eating actively in the moment, so if that’s hard for you to listen to, skip this episode. I also talk about reading and what it did for me as a kid, what it continues to do for me as an adult.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I celebrate briefly making it to 52 episodes. I talk about something that makes me happy – or at least a facet of it. I talk about writing and reading, and the first vs third perspectives in writing. I talk about how I want to talk about happy stuff and give my energy to that, but that in searching for what makes me happy, I realize just how depressed I’ve been and how depressed I still feel like I am.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about random things making me miss Mom and the surprising things that have brought up pieces of grief. I talk about health scares and how this has served as a reminder that it’s a good idea to focus on the present and making the best of the time presented to you every day. I talk about how I’m working on shifting my mindset from “we can have fun after all the work is done” to “this might be all the time we have so work and fun need to be equally important right now, don’t save fun for later, because nobody is promising you later, they’re only giving you right now” and how I feel like this reminds me all of us are just time bombs. We just don’t know where we are in the countdown.

I talk about how I need to focus on happy shit for a while, and I discuss the short-term future of this podcast, and the evolution of grief.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about the importance of mental health while dealing with physical health situations. I talk about struggling with depression and burn out this week, and some things I did for myself in order to combat those feelings, and how I’m still feeling like I’m not 100 percent. I talk about skateboarding, being angry with the universe, the struggle with creating vs not creating, the fear of losing another loved one, and I touch on why I started the podcast and how mind-blowing it is that I have reached 50 episodes.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about having a rough week with life stuff, really wishing I could talk to Mom, things changing quickly, and looking forward to something that wasn’t health-related, depression, anxiety, and self-care through reading, writing, and nourishing my creativity.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

Episode Description: I talk about having a rough week with life stuff and with grief, and just having a really heavy “I need mom” week, and I talk about reading in the world where Mom is dead.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)