I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

In this one, I talk about July 4thand the aftermath of another second holiday without Mom. General aspects of grief that are unfolding in new ways for me. Anxiety and how I’m trying to steal my energy back from anxiety to place that energy into better endeavors. And I read a couple pieces I wrote this week.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

This time I’m talking about July 4th—Independence Day in the USA—and how it reminds me of Mom, how we’re coming up on the one year anniversary of the podcast, found family, skateboards and skating, and missing Mom, how it’s hard to feel good/not guilty/sad/resentful/upset about having had my own life outside of home while Mom was still alive.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

This week I talk about emergency room experiences, struggling with depression, worrying about a family emergency, music that reminds me of Mom, working through some frustrations with myself concerning friendships, talking out some ways to redirect my energy to the creative stuff I want to be doing instead of giving energy to stuff I don’t care about or stuff that doesn’t make me feel good.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Reedsy Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about an emotional overload, having a panic attack during therapy, difficulty with creativity but doing it anyway, the attempts at “normalcy” we’ve experienced recently, and activities I’d like to do more often than I am right now. And then, I talk about a few of Bo Burnham’s songs from his new special Inside and how one is magical and the other one surprisingly hurt so much.

After that, I get into some particularly heavy stuff this episode. I discuss suicide in more detail than normal. This might be difficult to listen to for some people, so proceed with caution. I give warnings in the episode in multiple places. Listen at your own discretion.

If you are struggling with suicide, please reach out.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t made time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about what I’m reading, how I’m doing with anxiety, what game I’m playing, and a fear that’s creeping into my mind concerning the “return to normal” and how “post-pandemic” won’t feel like returning to normal because Mom is dead.

Also, side note: I talk about both of these books in a very mingled way and want to be clear here that Heaven’s Eyes is by David Almond, and Where the Forest Meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about my week a little, about anxiety and how it feels more leveled out, how grief sneaks into the corners of days sometimes, and I talk about something somewhat exciting that, due to some very weird circumstances, we tried as fully vaccinated people.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about anxiety and redirecting the anxious energy into reading, and other activities. I talk about how the second vaccine shot went, how Mom let me know she was with us after the shot, and how it feels to be fully vaxxed. I talk about some stuff I am looking forward to doing, things I am hopeful that I might be able to try doing, and how we’ve spent the nice weather. I talk about what I’ve recently finished reading, attending a good poetry reading, and writing.

Here is the link for Soul Walker by DJ Miller.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is not mentioned in this episode, but it’s still a resource I am using a lot right now. I’m including it here, just in case anyone else needs it, too.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about anxiety and how I redirect the anxious energy into creativity, specifically writing and reading. I also talk about being a game master for D&D for my friends and how that’s been another facet of creativity that’s been great. I read a small exercise I did in hopes of trying to focus specifically on improving descriptions.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is not mentioned in this episode, but it’s still a resource I am using a lot right now. I’m including it here, just in case anyone else needs it, too.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)

I talk about anxiety, the vaccine, trying to find ways to honor Mom for Mother’s Day, the anger I feel or want to feel about mom being dead, more non-linear grief, and the anxieties of the week, the way I’m trying to practice self-compassion especially today. I talk about books I am reading, or have recently read, and other things I am hoping to do to take my mind off all the racing and/or painful thoughts.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is not mentioned in this episode, but it’s still a resource I am using a lot right now. I’m including it here, just in case anyone else needs it, too.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr