I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

I talk about anxiety, the vaccine, making an emergency/what if binder, reading, how I’m trying to deal with my anxiety better. I talk about how I’m pretty sure I’ll always be a little homesick, missing Mom, Mother’s Day being difficult again, the book I’ve read recently and the books I plan to read soon, and trying to look forward to different things in the near/immediate future. Books I plan to read soon: The World is My Rival by Charlotte Seley and Lesbian Fashion Struggles by Caroline Earlywine.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is not mentioned in this episode, but it’s still a resource I am using a lot right now. I’m including it here, just in case anyone else needs it, too.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about why my late episode just became a completely skipped episode. I talk about some pretty scary medical situations, so if you’re not up for that, maybe skip this one. I talk about my experience with my first vaccine shot, and how the aftercare process is apparently extremely important, and I did not realize. I talk about Mom letting me know she’s been with me for all of this wild stuff from this week.

Also, I don’t say it in the episode, but I would like to just give a huge thank you to the friends who helped us and to Matt for dealing with my continual medical misadventures.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is not mentioned in this episode, but it’s still a resource I am using a lot right now. I’m including it here, just in case anyone else needs it, too.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I ramble a lot in this one about the upcoming vaccine appointments, the way Easter played out, the fears I have due to anxiety, how it feels like anxiety is ruining my life, how my cat’s doing with her health issues. How depression and anxiety have been lording over me lately. I mention writing some and trying to read and not feeling very into either attempt. I talk about a coworker who retired and how I feel about it or what this person and their retirement represents to me, and the memories he brought up for me. Honestly, I probably talk about a few other things, but overall, I feel like I blacked out at a certain point and got super vulnerable in this one and, wow, I did not mean to?!

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is not mentioned in this episode, but it’s still a resource I will be using a lot this week due to my yo-yoing between fear and relief for the vaccine. I’m including it here, just in case anyone else needs that link this week.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here 

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about having vaccine appointments, being terrified of all things medical, including this vaccine, and how frustrating that is to grapple with, especially right now. I talk about grief, comfort foods, Easter, and an update on my cat’s health. I talk about creativity and continuing to struggle with feeling good about what I’m writing when and if I’m writing. I wasn’t feeling too hot when I had to record, so this one is a bit short. Oh, and I read a short journal entry.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

DearPandemic.org is the website reference I was given by a friend and I mention it in this episode.

As promised, I will post (on Twitter) the helpful vaccine chart diagram a friend sent me.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk how we’re all going to die eventually, self-doubt and anxiety about using stickers and the link to decision making, shifting my mindset from writer/editor to content creator, and how weird it feels to have a Google Knowledge Panel (and that I have no idea what that means), and creativity and hard life adjustments. I talk about some chronic not feeling great, and I talk a bit more extensively about my time having had COVID-19, reflecting on the experience of having had it a little more in-depth, and how I miss Mom, how holidays round 2 will begin soon, and how that doesn’t feel great. The fear and hope concerning the COVID-19 vaccine is something else I ramble about a little, along with the importance of resting, spending time with people, and allowing your brain to recuperate, too. I also remind myself about being kind to myself and continuing my mission of self-compassion.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about how I started the week vs how I ended the week in terms of creativity and feeling up for it. I talk about missing Mom, wishing I could call her, relieved she isn’t here for the pandemic, the mixed feelings I have about the pandemic and the space it created for me, the various types of hope I feel (some of it for the first time in four years), the anxiety of doctors, normalcy, and the unknown. I also talk about my experience with group therapy in relation to creativity being a life raft I should really remember to keep holding on to during hard times. I talk about D&D, a worrisome relative, writing, editing, attending creativity-centric events online.  I also talk about some creative works I’ve purchased recently.

Caroline Earleywine – Lesbian Fashion Struggles 

Teylor Smirl – Teylor Moon Store 

I would also recommend following Teylor Smirl on Instagram to see more of their artwork: @teylor_squirrel.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about the frustrations of depression and high functioning anxiety, weather shifts affecting my moods, channeling emotion into art, new job jitters, and just missing Mom a lot. I talk about the pandemic and recalling the beginning of it. I realized my COVID-19 anniversary is coming up as well, and I try to work out some feelings about my cat’s health a little bit.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about the difficulty of Mom’s one year death anniversary week. Why I’ve clung to creativity in these times, and how I’m feeling lost but here I am. I also talk about Edgar Cantero and his Meddling Kids again. I talk about how the new job feels like a comfort Mom provided me during this week.

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about my last week at work, missing mom, the final week before her death, knowing this is the final weekend before the one-year mark, and I read a journal entry. 

As always, I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned.

I haven’t had time to participate in the Prompts challenges lately, but I’m still including the link to that and my Twitter.

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here 

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr

I talk about some new progress I'm making with the new treatment plan for my occipital neuralgia, dry eye and new realizations about how I wound up getting the coronavirus in March, my progress with NaNoWriMo, and how D&D is helping me learn discipline, and how I'm applying that to writing and showing up for projects like this podcast. I also talk about thoughts I have about Mom, both from the day she died and the ways in which I want to include her in my life going forward. I talk about the dread I'm feeling about the holidays. I'm sure other things come up. I know I talked for a long time!

I swear and talk about a lot of heavy stuff; you've been warned. 

Reedsy Prompts Profile: Here (https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/cassie-poormokhtar/)

Twitter: @cassieprmkhtr (https://twitter.com/cassieprmkhtr)