I Tried to Be Straight

In this final episode of this era of I Tried to Be Straight, Nate and Susie reunite to close out a series that has been so close to our hearts.

We reflect on where we started, how far we've come, and what it means to finally live without the constant tension of wondering whether being gay is somehow at odds with being a Christian. We chat about how our faith and identity have evolved, and the unexpected peace that comes when you stop trying to fix what was never broken.

As this chapter of the podcast comes to a close, it’s not a goodbye, but it is the end of this era. But stay tuned, because there will still be more ahead!

For a long time, Davidson believed loving himself came with conditions. That if he came out, he might lose his faith, his family, or God’s love altogether. So he stayed quiet, faithful, afraid, and disconnected from himself.

In this episode, Davidson shares how coming out wasn’t about rejecting God, but finally believing he was still loved by God. He opens up about the moment he realized he couldn’t fully love himself while hiding, the fear of being disqualified, and the surprising ways honesty deepened his faith instead of destroying it.

Judah went to Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry to learn tools to go into ministry. Instead he found himself getting pushed into Bethel Church’s Changed Movement, a new ex-gay therapy program built on declarations, demon-casting, and false hope. In this episode, Judah shares what really happened behind the scenes: trusting leaders who said change was coming, being used as a testimony while nothing actually changed, and the quiet damage of being told you’re broken. This is the truth about Bethel’s secret gay “healing” ministry and how no one is actually changing.

When Gilbert Gonzalez Jr. fell in love with God, he was told he couldn’t be both gay and Christian. Years later, he’s learned that faith and identity don’t have to be enemies. In this episode of I Tried to Be Straight, Gilbert shares how he reconciled his faith, embraced his truth, and now fights for a church that fully affirms LGBTQ+ believers.

Lewis Crompton was a respected prophetic leader and church counselor but he was denying his sexuality. For years, he prayed, fasted, and even tried conversion therapy, desperately hoping his sexuality would change. In this conversation, Lewis shares the painful cost of hiding, the deep questions he wrestled with and how he ultimately found the courage to come out as gay.

https://www.instagram.com/withlewiscrompton/

William Matthews has been known for his powerful voice and songwriting in the Christian music world, but behind the music was a years-long struggle to accept his own sexuality. In this candid conversation, William opens up about the internal battles, the faith questions, and the turning points that led him to finally embrace who he was as a gay man.

Lucas Wilson shares his experience of spending four years in conversion therapy while attending Liberty University. Now, years later, Lucas is reclaiming his voice as the writer of Shame-Sex Attraction, a powerful anthology of stories from conversion therapy survivors. We dive into his story, the lasting effects of spiritual trauma, and what healing and queer joy can look like on the other side.

Ten years ago, at just 24 years old, Matthew Vines published God and the Gay Christian, a book that would challenge centuries of church teaching and ignite a movement. In this episode, Matthew reflects on the past decade: the backlash, the breakthroughs, and the communities that have formed around the idea that you can be fully gay and fully Christian.

https://matthewvines.com/

While Jordan was living what many would consider the ideal Christian life, evangelizing and serving at his church, he was quietly struggling with his attraction to men. Everything came to a head when another student outed him in college, costing him school benefits simply for being gay and making him question everything.

After years of working in the church and trying to stay in the closet, Cade -  ⁨@GayExTrad⁩  Justin -  ⁨@EmptyChairsHome⁩  and Nate sit down to talk about what it’s been like to finally live out in the open. From unlearning shame to finding joy in authenticity, this episode dives deep into the emotional, spiritual, and relational journey of coming out after growing up in the church.