I Wish You Could Hear This

Summary

Most of us can probably think of something we'd like to change in our marriage. Maybe we keep having the same argument, feel disconnected after years of focusing on work or the kids, or simply wish we had more fun together. But what if making our marriages better doesn't have to be as complicated as we sometimes think?

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff share the first three of six practical steps they've discovered through their research on highly happy marriages. They explore why we need to learn from couples who are doing marriage well, how small habits practiced consistently can make a surprisingly big difference, and why giving ourselves and our spouses grace is so important as we learn and grow.

Along the way, they share fascinating findings about the power of verbal affirmation, why celebrating small wins matters, and how a simple shift in the way we view our marriage can change the way we approach challenges.

The encouraging news? You don't have to overhaul your entire marriage overnight. Sometimes the biggest changes begin with one small thing you choose to do differently today—and then keep doing tomorrow.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Small Changes That Can Improve Your Marriage
01:30 Step 1: Learn From Marriage Role Models
04:44 What Shaunti and Jeff Discovered Studying Happy Couples
06:55 The Surprising Power of Saying "Thank You"
09:24 Why We Need Real-Life Marriage Mentors
13:16 Step 2: Practice Small Habits Consistently
15:06 Why Little Things Matter More Than Grand Gestures
16:57 How Consistency Creates Lasting Change
19:22 The Power of Small Wins
21:52 Noticing and Affirming Your Spouse's Efforts
23:47 Step 3: Give Yourself and Your Spouse Grace
27:28 How Small Habits Can Change the Way You See Yourself
29:33 Shifting From an "Eject Button" to a Lifelong Mindset
32:36 Why Happy Couples Learn to Let Things Go
33:31 The Biggest Takeaway: Start With One Small Thing

Resources

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Invite Shaunti to Speak

Would you like to explore having Shaunti speak at your next event? Whether you're planning a marriage event, women's gathering, retreat, or conference, we'd love to connect! Email [email protected] or visit shaunti.com/speaking to learn more.

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’re a Christian parent, you’ve probably heard the discouraging statistic that most kids raised in the church will walk away from their faith after high school. But is that actually true?

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff unpack recent research from Pew Research Center and Barna that paints a much more hopeful picture. They share what the data actually says about young adults and faith, why a faith-filled home makes a meaningful difference, and the surprising trends happening among Gen Z and Millennials.

They also talk about what parents can do to help their kids develop a faith of their own—and offer encouragement for parents whose children have already stepped away. Because while parents can model faith, create space for honest questions, and pray, they can’t force a change in someone’s heart. And no matter where your child is today, their story isn’t over.

Resources

New Barna Data: Young Adults Lead a Resurgence in Church Attendance, Sep 2, 2025

https://www.barna.com/research/young-adults-lead-resurgence-in-church-attendance/

New Research: Belief in Jesus Rises, Fueled by Younger Adult, Apr 7, 2025

https://www.barna.com/research/belief-in-jesus-rises/

Pew Research: Why Do Some Americans Leave Their Religion While Others Stay?

https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=www.pewresearch.org&t=h.eJxNjcFuwyAQRH8l4ly8QExs59RfobAOKBgsFgdFVf-9-FCpt9GM3rxvdpTI7hfma93pDtBaG3ZsBQlNsX7I5QEFY3iEnEAJpUEqkBqaf3OXOeUNudmwBGsS8Yjmhbx6DIX_Ubz5EJHn3hbiVM0b2MeFPU_rq4PVEMdUsewlEBI8bf_4JG-OVMNg8wZaaCtu4yquTlit9GSNM3b9krcRpVwXkNM8y3mc1TJcF6mmZToNeBpoxei88en_47m6vqYjxh5Dj_LnF4lMVoE.MEQCIAO40yzee2G9YuNe0nR9MZs61JV1ayGYRkuwaqedTHD_AiB3tHfIPF830vfYRJctIF-kfsPssZeIqEVIwxn1PJoypA

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

AI has become part of everyday life for most of us. We use it to answer questions, solve problems, brainstorm ideas—and sometimes even help us navigate our relationships. But could all that interaction with AI be changing us in ways we don’t realize?

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff take a fascinating look at what can happen when we get used to an AI that is always affirming, always available, and always ready with an answer. Could that make us a little less patient when our spouse pushes back? Could it make us more likely to avoid hard conversations? Could it even change what we expect when we go to God for answers?

They also talk about why the normal “friction” of real relationships is actually important, how to keep our relationship muscles from getting weak, and a few practical ways we can use AI wisely—while still choosing the patience, humility, honesty, and genuine affirmation that our real relationships need.

AI isn’t going away—and it can be an incredibly useful tool. But as it becomes a bigger part of our everyday lives, we need to be intentional about making sure it helps us without quietly changing what we expect from the people we love—or from God.

Resources

Why I Told My Chatbot to Stop Kissing Up to Me: AI responses are often too agreeable, too enthusiastic and too dramatic. And it’s partially our fault.

By Nicole Nguyen, Aug. 16, 2026

https://www.wsj.com/tech/ai/why-i-told-my-chatbot-to-stop-kissing-up-to-me-62cea3fa?st=qc45KP&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

How to Make ChatGPT Challenge You More

1.     Open ChatGPT and click your profile icon.
2.     Go to Personalization.
3.     Under Base style and tone, choose Candid. This makes ChatGPT more direct and more likely to point out gaps, risks, and trade-offs.
4.     Still under Personalization, open Custom Instructions and make sure customization is turned on.
5.     Add an instruction like: “Don’t automatically agree with me or affirm my assumptions. Act as a thoughtful critical-thinking partner. If you think I’m overlooking something, tell me. Challenge weak reasoning, point out alternative explanations, and ask clarifying or probing questions when they would help me think more carefully. Prioritize accuracy and honesty over making me feel validated.”
6.     Save your changes. These preferences will then influence your conversations with ChatGPT, including existing chats.

Note: You can also adjust Characteristics under Personalization to fine-tune things like warmth and enthusiasm, although the Custom Instruction is the more important piece for getting ChatGPT to actually push back on your thinking.

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Rebuilding trust after infidelity—or any serious betrayal—can feel impossible. How do you begin trusting someone again when that trust has been completely shattered?

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff sit down with longtime friends Mark and Jill Savage, authors, speakers, and marriage coaches who know this journey firsthand. They share the story of the affair that nearly ended their marriage, the moment everything began to change, and the long process of rebuilding what had been broken.

Mark and Jill explain why trust isn't restored with one apology or promise to change. Instead, it comes back through consistent changed behavior over time—what they describe as rebuilding trust "one tablespoon at a time." They share practical examples of what honesty, transparency, accountability, and compassion looked like in their own recovery, as well as the role faith, humility, and grief played in their healing.

For anyone facing infidelity or another serious breach of trust, this conversation offers practical steps for moving forward—and hope that even when a marriage feels beyond repair, the story may not be over yet.

This Episode's Key Topics

• Mark and Jill Savage's personal story of infidelity and recovery
• The turning point that began the healing of their marriage
• Why rebuilding trust requires consistent changed behavior over time
• The "Trust Bathtub" and rebuilding trust one tablespoon at a time
• The importance of honesty, transparency, and proactive accountability
• Taking responsibility for betrayal without shifting blame
• The role of grief, humility, and faith in the healing process
• Hope for couples who feel like their marriage may be beyond repair

Resources

Mark and Jill Savage: markandjill.org
No More Perfect Podcast: podcast.nomoreperfect.com
Free Rebuilding Trust Guide: rebuildingtrust.us

Connect with Mark and Jill

Instagram: @jillsavage.author
Facebook: @jillsavage.author

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What if love isn’t primarily something you feel—or something you have to wait for—but something you can choose? 

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff sit down with pastor, author, and Bible teacher Chip Ingram to talk about his book I Choose Love and a radically practical way to understand biblical love. 

Chip explains the difference between the feelings we associate with love and the agape love modeled by Jesus: a willful, sacrificial choice to put another person’s needs ahead of our own. And that matters whether we’re dealing with tension in a marriage, a difficult family relationship, division in the church, or someone whose views are completely different from ours. 

Chip also gets personal, sharing how this understanding of love helped transform a deeply difficult season in his own marriage. The breakthrough came when he stopped focusing on how his wife needed to change and started asking what he could do differently. As Chip puts it, you can’t control another person—but you can change your part of the relationship. 

You’ll also hear why loving action sometimes has to come before loving feelings, why humility and servanthood are so important, and three practical ways to become a more loving person: declare war on selfishness, attack the pride underneath it, and intentionally practice humility by putting others’ needs ahead of your own. 

In this episode: 

• Why biblical love is much more than a feeling 

• The difference between agape love and romantic, friendship, and family love 

• What Philippians 2 teaches us about loving like Jesus 

• Why waiting until you feel loving can keep you stuck 

• How choosing obedience can begin changing our hearts 

• What Chip learned during a painful season in his own marriage 

• Why you can’t control another person—but you can change your part of the relationship 

• How selfishness and pride undermine love 

• Three practical choices that can help us become more loving 

• How Christians can pursue love and unity in a deeply divided culture 

• Why the mindset “I am second” can change the way we approach everyday relationships 

Resources mentioned: 

Book: I Choose Love by Chip Ingram 

Living on the Edge: livingontheedge.org 

Also mentioned: Good to Great in God’s Eyes by Chip Ingram 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Boys today are growing up surrounded by confusing messages about masculinity and what it means to be a man. So how can parents help their sons develop a healthy, confident understanding of who God created them to be? 

Shaunti and Jeff talk with Molly DeFrank, mom of six and author of Mothering Boys: 8 Things Your Son Needs to Hear from You Before He Turns 10. Together, they explore the powerful role parents—and especially moms—play in shaping a boy’s identity, character, confidence, and understanding of masculinity. 

You’ll hear practical ways to speak life into your son, recognize the unique strengths God has given him, and help him grow into a godly man of courage and character. 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Feeling overwhelmed by motherhood? Wondering how to prioritize your faith when you're barely keeping up with everyday life? 

If you've ever ended the day feeling guilty because you didn't have time to read your Bible, pray, or spend quiet time with God, you're not alone. 

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, speaker, and Equipping Godly Women founder Brittany Ann to talk honestly about the challenges young Christian moms face. Together, they explore how to grow closer to God without adding more pressure to an already full life. 

Brittany shares her own journey of balancing marriage, motherhood, ministry, and faith, along with practical encouragement for finding God's peace—even in the middle of exhaustion and chaos. 

In This Episode You'll Learn: 

• Why so many Christian moms struggle with guilt over their spiritual lives 

• How to prioritize your relationship with God when life feels overwhelming 

• Practical ways to spend meaningful time with God—even if you only have a few minutes 

• The difference between striving for perfection and pursuing faithfulness 

• How to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace God's grace 

• Encouragement for moms who feel spiritually dry or discouraged 

• Simple habits that can help you stay connected to God during busy seasons 

Whether you're raising toddlers, homeschooling, juggling work and family, or simply trying to catch your breath, this conversation offers biblical encouragement and practical hope for this season of life. 

Meet Our Guest 

Brittany Ann is an author, speaker, podcast host, and the founder of Equipping Godly Women, a ministry dedicated to encouraging Christian women with practical, biblical wisdom for everyday life. Since launching the ministry in 2014, Brittany has reached millions of women through articles, Bible studies, books, and online resources. She and her husband are raising four children together. 

Resources Mentioned 

• Fall in Love with God's Word by Brittany Ann https://a.co/d/000kPB4D 

• https://equippinggodlywomen.com/ 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary:

Boys and men are struggling—but this isn't a reason to lose hope. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff unpack what's happening in today's culture, why so many boys and young men are falling behind, and the simple, powerful ways each of us can make a difference. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, mentor, teacher, or friend, you'll come away with practical encouragement and renewed hope for the boys and men you love. 

Resources and Links: 

Nancy Pearcy “The Toxic War on Masculinity” 

https://a.co/d/05CJjqrE 

Hannah Rosin, The End of Men essay in The Atlantic 

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/308135/ 

“If We Were Ants” short film 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX23DMyzvHE 

Pew Research -Public Views on Men and Masculinity 

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/10/17/public-views-on-men-and-masculinity/ 

APA Guidelines on practice with boys and men 

https://www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines.pdf 

Data tables: 

Reading scores of 4th, 8th and 12th grade students – see Figure 5, 6, 7 

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/cnb/reading-performance 

College enrollment of men v women 

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/pdf/2024/cpb_508c.pdf 

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d22/tables/dt22_303.10.asp 

Bureau of Labor Statistics about men and women in the workforce: 

https://www.bls.gov/charts/employment-situation/civilian-labor-force-participation-rate.htm 

Mortality data: 

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db456.htm 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX23DMyzvHE 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: 

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, counselor, and father-daughter relationship expert Michelle Watson Canfield to explore one of the most challenging seasons of parenting: connecting with adolescent daughters. 

Many dads feel uncertain about how to respond when their daughters become more emotional, pull away, or seem resistant to their efforts. Michelle shares a powerful insight she has observed through years of counseling: many men would rather do nothing than risk doing it wrong—but when it comes to fathering daughters, stepping back often creates more distance. 

Together, Shaunti, Jeff, and Michelle unpack why dads often feel sidelined during the teenage years, how mothers can become caught in the middle, and practical ways fathers can stay engaged even when conversations feel awkward or difficult. 

You’ll learn: 

• Why many dads instinctively pull back—and why that can be harmful 

• How to stay calm and grounded when emotions run high 

• Practical ways to pursue your daughter with intention and consistency 

• Why your presence matters more than your perfection 

• How to build trust and connection during the adolescent years 

If you've ever felt unsure how to connect with your daughter—or worried that you're getting it wrong—this conversation will equip and encourage you to keep showing up. 

Because your daughter doesn't need a perfect dad. She needs an engaged one. 

Links and Resources: 

Website: drmichellewatson.com 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/drmichellewatson 

Instagram: michellejwatson and thedadwhispererpodcast 

Twitter: @mwatsonphd 

LinkedIn: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield 

The Dad Whisperer Podcast: Apple Podcasts + Spotify 

YouTube: @thedadwhisperer 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

SUMMARY: What happens when a marriage starts drifting apart — and one or both spouses wonder if it’s even possible to reconnect? 

In this honest and hope-filled conversation, and sit down with author, speaker, and podcast host to talk about the quiet disconnection many couples experience and the practical ways healing can begin — even when things feel broken.  

Drawing from Lindsey’s personal story and her new book Don’t Burn Down the House, this episode explores: 

• Why many marriages slowly drift into “roommate mode”  

• What often causes emotional disconnection beneath the surface  

• How resentment and hopelessness quietly build  

• Why change can begin even if only one spouse is willing  

• The small shifts that can create major transformation  

• How to prioritize your marriage without losing yourself  

• What rebuilding trust and connection really looks like  

If you’ve ever felt discouraged, lonely, unseen, or unsure whether your marriage can recover, this conversation offers practical wisdom and genuine hope. 

LINKS AND RESOURCES: Book: Don't Burn Your Own House Down: Prioritizing Your Marriage, Your Spouse, and Yourself for a Deeper Connection: Maestas, Lindsey: 9780310369479: Amazon.com: Books 

Website: HOME - Sparrows + Lily 

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.