This episode explores the subtle but life-changing difference between being desired and being understood.

Attention can feel like sunlight—warm and affirming—but it doesn’t always touch the places that ache for recognition.

We talk about the spiritual loneliness of being praised for the mask instead of the face, admired for your strength while your soul is quietly unraveling.

If you’ve ever confused desire with intimacy, or felt unseen inside relationships that looked perfect from the outside, this reflection might feel like exhaling.

For more writing and longer reflections, visit www.idiotmystic.com.

And if you'd like to share your own story or find community, join the Discord:
https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM

This episode explores the quiet split so many people carry—the self you present to stay loved, and the self you protect to stay safe.

It’s inspired by years of listening to women describe the ache of being seen but not truly known, and by recognizing that same fracture within myself.

We talk about what happens when your depth becomes something you tuck away, when your inner world turns into a secret language, and how wholeness begins the moment your hidden self is finally welcomed back home.

If you'd like to read more writing in this style, visit www.idiotmystic.com.
To join the conversation and connect with others on the path, you’re welcome in the Discord community:
https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM

I’ve spent my life around every kind of man — fighters, bouncers, soldiers, contractors, fathers, sons, the honorable and the unhinged. I’ve seen what real masculinity looks like… and what the counterfeit version becomes when it festers.

This episode is about the difference.

Not the internet version of “masculinity.”

Not the shallow, aggressive, insecure performance we’ve all seen.

But the quiet, steady, grounded kind — the kind born from pain, responsibility, compassion, and actual strength.

I talk about the men who raised me, the men I fought beside, the men I feared becoming, and the men who showed me what true masculine energy really is:

gentle, stable, protective, conscious, brave, and capable of restraint.

And I talk about the other kind — the wounded masculine that lashes out at women, children, strangers, and anyone weaker.

The masculinity that mistakes fear for power, ego for identity, aggression for leadership.

If you’re a man trying to figure out who you are…

If you’ve been hurt by men…

If you’re raising a son…

If you’re trying to break a cycle…

This episode is for you.

Because masculinity isn’t supposed to be a wound you carry.

It’s supposed to be a force that protects life — not destroys it.

And the moment you understand the difference, you start becoming the man you were always meant to be.

I understand this might not be everyone's cup of tea...but nothing is everyone's cup of tea. Some people don't even like breathing.

I spent a year, actually more ( but that's another story ) driving rideshare ( Uber/Lyft ) — late nights, early mornings, 1,000+ rides, and more stories than one life should hold.
People fresh out of ERs. Tech workers with haunted eyes. Kids. Addicts. Lovers. Divorces. People on the edge. People on the brink of miracles.

People who just needed someone to ask, “Are you okay?”

I learned things in that car I never learned in school — about trauma,destiny, fear, kindness, chaos, and the quiet confessions strangers make when they think you’ll never see them again.

Some of it was dark.

Some of it was beautiful.

All of it was human.

If you’ve ever wondered who we are beneath our masks, beneath our bravado, beneath our pain — this is what strangers taught me about humanity.

There are soundbaths on the Idiot Mystic YouTube that I can't upload here because they have no talking in them, but if you feel like, stop by there.

Or come talk to me on Discord.

https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM

This episode or whatever these less than 10 minute long things are...is about the moment you realize your conversations — your relationships — your life — have been living in shallow water.It’s about the loneliness of small talk, the ache of unrealized depth, and the strange tragedy of being surrounded by human beings who have entire galaxies inside them… and almost no one dives deep enough to see it.If you’ve felt disconnected from the world’s surface-level chatter…If you miss conversations that breathe…If you long to witness and be witnessed…you might want to check this one out.Because depth is not dangerous.Depth is oxygen.And you were never meant to survive at the surface of your own life.

This episode is about the moment you realize your reflection is only an outline, a silhouette, a weather report.Your body is the ship, the candle holder, the vessel —but you are the flame.This is a meditation on appearance, identity, fasting, restraint, and the strange way the world trains us to live inside images instead of souls.If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and felt a sadness you couldn’t name…If you’ve ever believed your worth depended on aesthetic…If you’ve ever decorated your armor and forgotten you can take it off…this might be something you should listen to.You are not your reflection.You are the consciousness piloting the vessel.Everything else is just weather.

What if the problem isn’t that you haven’t found your niche…but that you’ve forgotten yourself?

In this thing, that some people call an episode, I talk about deleting 400+ hours of work,walking away from strategies, thumbnails, categories,and reclaiming the only voice that actually matters — the real one.

This isn’t creator advice.

It’s a manifesto ( scary word to use ) about identity, destiny, and authenticity in a world that constantly asks you to shrink.

If you’ve ever felt pressured to specialize, to fit into a box, or to perform a version of yourself that never felt right…this episode might be for you.

Stop searching for a niche.

Start searching for who you were before the world tried to organize you.

Everything else is dust.

What do you get when a 1950s radio exec accidentally astral projects, patents brainwave-syncing audio tech, and ends up training U.S. Army personnel to leave their bodies? You get this episode.Today we try explore the mind-bending true story of Robert Monroe and the Monroe Institute — the birthplace of Hemi-Sync, the Gateway Process, and one of the weirdest crossovers between science, spirituality, and national security.We’ll cover:Monroe’s spontaneous out-of-body experiences (OBEs)How binaural beats became a consciousness-hacking toolThe Army’s use of the “Gateway Process” during the Cold WarDeclassified CIA documents that sound like Marvel scriptsWhether the Gateway Program actually ended — or just went deeper undergroundAnd why your Tuesday night meditation might be built on a once-classified military experimentPart brain science, part X-Files, part idiot mystic — this episode is a good primer for anyone who’s curious about the limits of consciousness, the strangeness of history, and why the U.S. government once funded headphone-powered soul travel.This might be one of the last videos like this for a while, I think something much different is coming.I hope you understand that I am trying to lay the building blocks for you of what I know and how I think, so we can see things through a similarly colored lens.

There’s a kind of love that makes you feel seen—and another kind that makes you want to hide.This episode is about that second kind.The one that sees through your armor, the one that knows when you’re pretending to be okay. The kind that doesn’t look away.When we say we want intimacy, what we often mean is: we want to be known, but not too much.Because to be seen fully is to stand without defense—to let someone witness the parts of you that aren’t edited or eloquent. It’s terrifying because it asks for surrender, not performance.This is a reflection on love, safety, and the nervous system.On how we build our identity around being composed, only to find that love wants the trembling version instead.It’s about learning to unclench, one truth at a time—to let connection become the place where healing begins.🎙️ Topics: Vulnerability, Intimacy, Emotional Healing, Love, Fear, Psychology, Spiritual Growth🎧 Listen when: you’re overthinking love, when you’re scared of being known, or when you need to remember that tenderness isn’t weakness.If you want some stuff to read stop by www.idiotmystic.com or if you're looking for an actual conversation about things join our Discord. ( https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM )

People are usually surprised when I tell them that many of my clients are witches.

They wait for a punchline, a warning—something to make it safer to believe.

But it’s true.

From the rural Midwest to the deserts of Arizona to the temples and backstreets of Thailand, witchcraft has crossed my path more times than I can count.

I’m a Muslim, a meditation teacher, and a counselor.

I never sought these encounters ( maybe I did? ), but they found me anyway.

And somewhere between psychology and the unseen, I learned that what most people call “magic” often begins as pain, longing, and the need to be seen.

This episode isn’t about proving or disproving witchcraft. It’s about the people who practice it—and the human stories behind the spells.

The women ( and everyone ) reclaiming power after silence. The seekers trying to speak with something that listens back.

And the thin veil between healing and harm that I’ve had to walk for years.

Faith is its own armor, and I’ve learned that surrender protects better than fear.

Whether you call it energy, the unseen, or the Creator—the truth moves through all of it.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to sit across from someone who swears they’ve seen the other side… this is me trying to tell that story.

If...yes another if, you're looking for somethign to read check out www.idiotmystic.com and for soundbaths that I can't upload here, there's always the YouTube channel.

I hope you're well.