Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

Stefani and Ray read from the Ask Amy advice column. A writer questions her dying father-in-law’s legacy, when his reputation as a cop is tainted. Another asks about her friend’s penchant for venting on social media and whether she should approach her about it. Finally, a woman finds a secret life on her boyfriend’s cell phone, post-mortem, and can’t bring herself to mourn his passing. [Chateau Blaignan Red Blend, 2018]

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Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

The Biffs read from the classic Dear Abby column this week. A woman weighs the fairness of her husband’s ultimatum to choose between him or their son and his family. Another contemplates contacting her sweetheart’s other girlfriend just so that she knows she exists. A woman in a long-term relationship questions everything when her daughter and her partner’s son fall in love. The last writer wonders what to do about her sister’s knack for telling outrageous stories. [Harken Chardonnay, 2020]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week’s episode, the Biffs read from Zachary Zane’s Explain It Column from MensHealth.com. One man finds it hard to submit to his sexual desires when his not-sex-positive Mom who is all up in his business, is tracking his location. An older woman orders out frequently in hopes that she’ll one day get the nerve to seduce her delivery boy. Finally, a man ask’s for guidance in a situation where his girlfriend limit’s sex to two weeks per month, when he’s perfectly comfortable with sex during her cycle. [Amigo Perro Cabernet Sauvignon, 2021]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Stefani and Ray visit Natalie Bencivenga's, Ask Natalie column, in this week's episode. An engaged woman, three years into her relationship, questions her fiancé’s position against meeting her future in-laws. A woman is shamed by her friends when she wants to ghost on the man she’s been dating, after their first time in bed together. A sister’s drunken attempt at her brother-in-law, causes another writer to question helping her live-in, struggling sibling at all. [Château LaBorde 2Bordeaux Sauvignon, 2018]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Stefani and Ray take questions from the Facebook group, "High Value Feminine Women," in this week's episode. One woman reaches out to ask for advice in her relationship and winds up talking herself out of it mid-post. Another finds pictures of her man with his ex-wife, with whom he has a child, and questions the validity of the feelings she’s experiencing. Finally, the Biffs discuss another writer's question about standards and expectations in relationships, and how to tell the difference between the two. [Whispering Angel Rosé, 2019]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week's episode is mini, but fun. The Biffs revisit Reddit's Am I the Asshole Thread. A man asks if he's a jerk for telling his aunt that her man's given up on her when she asks for advice. Another is put off by a yogi's theatrics in the sauna, as he downward-dogs and spreads without so much as a loincloth. Make sure to join us next week as we continue our dive into this thread. [Josh Prosecco Rosé]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Stefani and Ray visit the Metro.co.uk’s Agony Aunt, Em Clarkson, in this week’s episode. A writer worries about their best friend’s borderline obsession with her beau. One half a relationship has absolutely had it, but doesn’t know how to tell her husband that it’s over. OnlyFans becomes a topic for debate among the Biffs when a woman feels betrayed by her boyfriend after discovering his subscription. [Bota Box Sauvignon Blanc]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

It’s another trip down memory lane this week. Follow along with the Biffs as they revisit columns from Dear Kiki, Urban Diplomat, and the Slate’s How To Do It. A woman dying to peg her boyfriend has a hard time finding the words to have the discussion with him. An employee walks into his Boss’s office only to find him watching films of the adult variety. A man going to town on himself is caught by his neighbor, whose trespass is, in part, due to a stray pussy [cat]. It’s the Best of the Biffs Part IV.

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week, the Biffs catch up with Carolyn Hax’s column on the Washington Post. A friendship that should stand the test of time doesn’t when one’s expectations go unmet. Weed - it’s what’s for dinner - and this dinner guest can’t keep their balance long enough to communicate their frustration over crossed boundaries. Dad’s playing sugar daddy while mom’s working extra hard to keep up with the bills on the heels of retirement. [Babich Sauvignon Blanc, 2021]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In their one-hundredth episode, honorary Biffs (the West Coast Biffs) Rachel Sievers and Ellie-the-Editor of the Answer to Everything Podcast, join Stefani and Ray to celebrate with a bottle of champagne. Ben is surprised and intrigued by his alter-ego Britney. Competitive tooth-brushing masks a fictional couple’s real issues. Cyber-ghosts haunt an imaginative and creative internet surfer. Join this foursome as they take on the internet with some “unrealistic, psychologically unsound scenarios” and responses generated by ChatGPT. Hate it. Love it. [Maybe] learn something? [Veuve Clicquot]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com