Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

Happy New Year. This week's episode reflects on some of the best of 2023, as we work up to our centennial episode. Listen on and revisit more of their favorite columns, with questions from Ask Logan, Ask Daddy, and the Ethicist. A husband hides his wife's only form of sexual pleasure. A writer's partner wants to be his boyfriend when out and about, but prefers the pronoun "she" in private. An author questions her own ethics as she debates whether the murder she was a witness to is fair-game in her profession.

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It's back to the Slate's "Dear Prudence" column for Stefani & Ray this week. A whole family dynamic shifts when a man decides against donating another sample of his own sperm to his sister and her wife. When another man's brother and best-man's tendency to hire escorts for dinner is exposed, his fiancee's reaction threatens to end their engagement. Lastly, a writer is angered and perplexed with their partner's self-diagnosed autism. Listen to the Biffs weigh-in on these complex issues. [1000 Stories Bourbon Barrel Aged Red, 2018]

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Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In this week's episode, the Biffs read from Annie Lane's Dear Annie Column. A wife's secret sexual past leaves her husband of fifty years searching for the deep intimacy that once connected them. An adult couple is forced to exist behind closed doors when a man's family refuses to accept his girlfriend, for reasons unknown. A man struggles to find refuge in his girlfriend when she weaponizes his emotions for his dead wife for leverage in the relationship. [Ghost Pines Cabernet Sauvignon, 2020]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

The Biffs test their skills against advice from Coleen Nolan of the Mirror UK. A mother with knowledge of her daughter’s beau’s past questions whether to tell her or not. A man places a camera in the shower in hopes of spying on his wife and ending his 15-year-dry-spell. Finally, a woman meets a man at a wedding and suddenly she wants more than what her husband can offer. [Gualdo del Re Sangiovese, 2012]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week, the Biffs read from Reddit’s Am I The Asshole. A parent’s personal choice results in their child’s bullying and his shifting the burden to another family member. At a college party, a personal question about his penis prompts a writer to respond with a similar personal question about a co-ed’s level of baldness down-south. Navigate these interesting social situations with Stefani and Ray as they judge if these Redditors are assholes. [Novinophobia Chardonnay, 2018]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This Biffs regrettably follow-through with last week’s promise to revisit Cary Tennis’s advice column from Salon.com. Stefani and Ray differ in opinion on how to handle a situation when a baby sister is discovered to have a criminal record. A man transfers some of his angst and grief onto his partner following the passing of his ‘monster’ of a mother, and he doesn’t even see it. [The Pale Rosé, 2022]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week’s episode features questions from Cary Tennis’s advice column from Salon.com. One writer wonders how to keep their mother from traumatizing their kid sister the same way they were affected, by breastfeeding them for too long. Another writer is questioning their contributions to a series of events when their friend tries to run them over with her new beamer. [Chateau de Lacarelle Beaujolais-Villages Rouge, 2021]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

Dear Mrs. Web, personal advice for your life, peaks the interest of the Biffs in this episode. A single, professional, young woman who has it all, questions why she actually has nothing aside from the material. Another woman’s near-, albeit dishonest tryst with her best friend’s fiancé, leaves her contemplating the benefits of coming clean years later. The final writer asks for what she’s doing in wrong in her efforts to make genuine friend connections. [Rio Lindo Syrah, 2017]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

This week, the Biffs revisit How To Do It, Slate.com's sex advice column. One writer’s question deals with a low-libido remedied by liquid courage. A husband’s size isn’t an issue for 19 years, until his wife makes a targeted crack in a drunken stupor. A college student’s knack for “face painting” get’s him in trouble with his girlfriend’s girlfriends, calling his respect for women to question. [Chronic Cellars Sir Real Cabernet Sauvignon, 2020]

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com

In Best of the Biffs Part 2, relive some conversations from episodes such as Rectum Ralph, Aunty AITA, Side of Raunch, Gaslighty, and more. In these episodes, they cover some of your favorite columnist from Amy Dickinson to E. Jean Carolle, as well as some of your favorites from the Slate. Laugh at the ridiculous banter. Giggle at the over-reaching puns. Just another weekly chuckle with Stefani & Ray. It’s a wonder these Biffs have made it this far in life.

Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to [email protected].

Find sources/credits for this and all of our episodes in our show notes at www.illadvisedthepodcast.com