IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

"Ask Ben a Question"

We Are Designed To Follow Patterns

Our brain is designed to identify and create patterns. We do this in an effort to conserve energy, increase our chances of survival, and make life easier.

This isn't a bad thing. So many of the things that we do are based on patterns that we've picked up. Many of these patterns help us be healthy, productive, and happy humans. 

There are, however, patterns that do not serve us. 

Have you heard the story of the mother who cut the end off the ham before she put it in the pan to cook? When asked why she did this, her answer was something like, "I'm not sure. I think it helps it cook better. I just learned it from my mother." So they called her mother and asked, "Why do we cut the end off the ham to bake it?" She replied, "I don't know. That's just what my mother did." So they called her mother, the grandmother of the original mother, and asked, "Why do we cut the ends off of the ham before baking?" The grandmother replied, "I don't know why you do it, but when I cooked ham we had a small oven and even smaller pan, and I had to cut the ends off so it would fit."

This is an example of a pattern that simply gets adopted and blindly continued over and over. 

I notice this in my life when I yell at my kids. I sound just like my parents did when they yelled at me.

This is simply a pattern that I learned and adopted in my own life. 

BUT, there's power in being aware of this! I see that if I disrupt these patterns NOW, my kids will benefit from the new patterns that I establish.

This goes along with one of my teachings about being herd animals. Following pre-established patterns is part of what we do as heard animals. We do this to help us fit it. It's what we do. 

Notice where you are following the patterns of the herd. 

Find it in your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Then intentionally disrupt the pattern and create new patterns. 

YOU Can Be The Pattern Disrupter! 

If you are like most human beings, you're living by a set of patterns that you repeat regularly without really even thinking about what you are doing?

If you never question your patterns, you will never change!

You can be the pattern disrupter. 

I've seen this with families that have had abuse be part of the family dynamic for generations. You can be the disruption that changes generations of negative patterns. 

Generations of beliefs, poverty, weight struggles, ways of BEing can all be changed with YOU!

You have the power to be a pattern disrupter. 

Be the change you want to see!

I Want To Help You Disrupt Your Patterns!

Are you stuck in your patterns?

Have you tried to change over and over, but nothing sticks. 

If you're like most of my clients, you do better for a few weeks, only to get completely derailed by your teen's actions. 

You are likely following a lot of the patterns that your parents followed. 

Commit to going all in. 

BE the disruption. 

Create new intentional patterns!

If not you, then who? If not now, when?

Call to ACTION!

I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact: Parenting Transformation. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.
Leading up to the launch I'm offering a Free 3 Day Live Be the Change Parent Training starting Aug. 2nd @ 2PM MDT. 

You can register for the 3 Day Live Be the Change Training by clicking the link below.

YES! I WANT IN!!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

What are Habitual Beliefs?

Habitual beliefs are beliefs that are simply habits. If you're like most people, you think and believe them without even realizing it. Just like most other habits, you've thought and believed these beliefs so many times that they come completely natural to you and it all happens unconsciously. 

Most people believe their habitual thoughts are actually fact or truth. When this happens, you start to incorporate your habitual beliefs as part of your identity. 

Habitual beliefs create habitual emotions. Emotions that underscore other emotions. 

Where Did Your Habitual Beliefs Come From and How Do They Benefit You? 

Developing awareness is one of the most powerful things you can do in all areas of your life. I talk about awareness ALL OF THE TIME! So, here we go again.

It's powerful to understand where these habitual beliefs came from and when you started developing the habit of thinking this way. This awareness and understanding will give you the power to shift your beliefs. 

Take some time to really explore where your habitual beliefs came from. When did you start thinking this way?

Next, explore, "How have these beliefs served me"?

Everything you believe benefits you on some level. Find the benefits so you are fully aware of what's going on. 

How Are Your Habitual Beliefs No Longer Benefiting You?

When I believe, "I'm not good enough" I hold myself back. I feel regular self-doubt. I don't take risks, and I don't do scary things like building my business. 

How are your beliefs no longer benefiting you?

One of my clients had the habitual belief, "Bad grades can ruin your life." For her, this belief started at a very young age. She was told that she needed to get good grades to be successful. This belief has benefited her in her life because she earned very good grades. She got scholarships to help her go to college. She learned how to work hard. 

But, she realized that this belief was no longer serving her. When she applied this belief to her teen she felt scared, which led to the action of her trying to control and/or fix her teen and make him get better grades, which created the result of a lot of tension in their relationship. 

Choosing New Habitual Beliefs

YOU have the power to choose what you will think and believe. You have the power to choose what thoughts and beliefs you will give attention to. You are where your attention is. 

You don't have to be driven by your old habitual beliefs. 

They may have benefited you in the past, but if they are no longer benefiting you, you can choose new beliefs.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR HABITUAL BELIEFS! 

How to Shift Your Habitual Beliefs

1. Distance yourself from the habitual belief
   
   
2. This will help you to stop identifying as your habitual belief. 
   
   
3. Acknowledge that the belief has served you in the past, but that this belief no longer serves you. 
   
   
4. Dismiss the old belief and move your attention to your new belief. 

Call to ACTION!

I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact Parenting Program. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.

If you are interested in getting in at founding member  pricing (a huge discount) and helping me build something that will benefit parents of teens just like you, click the link below to get on the waitlist, and I'll notify you when I'm ready to launch. It's coming soon!

YES! I WANT FIRST ACCESS!!
benpughcoaching.com/waitlist

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

100% Responsibility = Power

We live in a world that often refuses to be responsible and to take responsibility. 

As a result, it's common to blame others. 

Lately, in my own life, I've been extra aware of the blaming that takes place around me, especially when I'm guilty of doing the blaming. 

I've noticed two things over and over, . . . 

#1 Blaming positions you as the victim, every time! 

#2 Taking 100% responsibility empowers you, EVERY TIME!

What is 100% Responsibility?

First of all, I want to be 100% clear, taking responsibility is not blaming yourself for everything. It's not taking the fall for everyone else. 

100% Responsibility is taking responsibility for your reality and your part in creating it. 

BEing responsible means accepting that you are the one creating your results and your reality. 

It means that no one is coming to save you or to fix your problems but you. 

It is all up to you, and that's the best news ever!

Blaming puts your focus on things outside of your control, making you the victim.

Taking 100% responsibility puts your focus on things within your control, making you in control. 

That is empowering!

When you are 100% responsible, you have the power to be the change that you are looking for. 

Blaming Turns You Into the Victim. 

Like I said earlier, when you blame others, you shift your focus to things outside of your control. This turns you into a victim. Now, in your mind, you are at the mercy of the person or thing that you are blaming. Rather than having the power to change your circumstances, you depend on others to change. 

I see this a lot with parents who are struggling with their teens. Rather than being 100% responsible, they are willing to be 90% responsible, but they still want to blame their teen for things. 

"I know I'm not perfect, and I'm doing my best, but my teen . . . "

What if, there is no blame, no fault, and no reason for blame or fault. 

That completely frees you up to focus on what you can control. 

So Now What?

#1 Increase Your awareness around responsibility and blaming.

#2 Identify what you can control and take responsibility for that. 

#3 Shift Your Mindset

#4 Practice, practice, practice

Call to ACTION!

I'm getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact Parenting Program. And I want you to help me make it the best program ever.

If you are interested in getting in at founding member pricing (a huge discount), and helping me build something that will benefit parents of teens just like you, click the link below to get on the waitlist and I'll notify you when I'm ready to launch.

YES! I WANT FIRST ACCESS!!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

What are Values? 

Values are your beliefs about what is and is not important. Values are our principles, standards, and priorities. 

Values are deep-seated beliefs and ways of thinking that motivate and drive our actions. 

Your values live in your subconscious thoughts. Usually, you don't even know about them, but they still impact your actions and behaviors, such as unconscious habits. 

Your values are a way of BEing. You live and express your values subconsciously without even thinking. 

Your values drive you. 

Your current results and reality are a reflection of your values. 

“Whatever you have and do not have is a reflection of your values.”
~ Jim Fortin

What are YOUR Values? 

If you're like most people, you've never stopped to think, "What are my values? What values am I going to let drive my life today?"

You've probably just lived your life without putting much thought into your values. 

If you want to know what your values are, look at your current reality. 

What is your current reality and what is it telling you about your values? 

Are you fighting with your teen a lot? You might value control or being right. 

How do you feel in your current relationships? What are your relationships telling you about your values?

Your Values Belong to You, NOBODY ELSE! 

Your values belong to you and nobody else. You can't force your values on anyone else. You can't expect others to live up to your values, value your values, or meet your needs associated with your values. 

Your values are yours. 

Many of us share values. Some are outer values like religion, politics, sports teams. Many of us share inner values like integrity, hard work, freedom. 

Ultimately it's your job to live aligned with your values. 

It's nice when people value our values, but that's not within our control. 

I invite you to respect and value the values of others. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with them or go against your values, just don't try to change them to embrace your values. 

Love languages is a great example of this. 

You're empowered by knowing your love languages. It's powerful knowing your spouse's love language. But it's not your job to meet their emotional needs. It's yours. Same with values. 

It's Possible to Live Conflicting Values

Sometimes people live with conflicting values. This causes emotional discomfort. 

Understand & Choose Your Values

Seek to understand your current values. Look at your current results and reality for evidence of what your values are. When you develop this awareness and understanding, you can develop more intentionality. 

When you understand what values are creating your current reality, you can choose if you want to continue allowing those values to drive your life. 

You have the power to choose your values. 

You have the power to let go of values that no longer serve you.

Recently I chose to let go of my value of Hard Work. I was raised on a farm. I grew up milking cows, hauling hay, and working with large animals. It was hard work. I learned to value hard work. I believed that my value was tied to my ability to work hard. 

Some of My Current Values

• Freedom
• Family
• Relationships
• Personal Growth
• Service
• Honesty
• Faith
• Kindness
• Impact and Influence

Call to ACTION!

Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent! 

Join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

When you judge your teens, you disconnect with them. 

“When I pull back and look at the big picture, does it matter if my kid sleeps all day? (. . .) In the big scheme of things, it really doesn't matter.”
~ Marika Humphreys

"It was helpful to question and really let go of my expectations of what I thought my kid should be doing, and that was the gateway towards acceptance of who my child really is, and now I see them as the amazing kid they are."
~ Marika Humphreys

"I stopped judging my kid, and I know I'm closer to them than ever before."
~ Marika Humphreys

What if What You Think Is A Problem, Isn't a Problem. 

Many of the problems that we see, are only "problems" because the world around us tells us they are problems.

Often, it's our judgement that something is a problem that creates our emotional discomfort. 

Don't Try to Control, Change, and/or Fix Their Kids 

When we can let go of control, we start to connect with our teens. 

I Have the Confidence to Trust MYSELF and MY Teen

It's my job to foster who my kids are, and I can do that! I am the best parent to do this. 

Your teen will help you to grow as a parent.


Call to ACTION!

Connect with Marika at www.CoachMarika.com

Become A Firmly Founded Parent today. You can transform yourself as a parent! 

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting. 

Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

The Myth of Parenting on The Same Page 

The myth of parenting on the same page is that it will "fix" all of your problems in your relationship and with your teens. 

The myth is that when you parent on the same page, you will magically agree with everything that your spouse does. Or even better yet, they will magically agree with everything that you do. 

The Problem with "Same Page" Parenting

I have many problems with same page parenting. 

I've seen spouses manipulate each other in name of "Parenting on the Same Page." I've seen one parent try to control, change, or fix the other parent, convinced that they are the whole problem. 

Oftentimes parents will both abandon their values and inner strengths in an effort to meet in the middle somewhere. Now you've got two parents parenting out of alignment with their personal values and strengths. 

When parents try to parent on the same page, one or both often begin to see themselves as a victim in the relationship, at the mercy of the other. 

Why It's Important to Parent on the Same Team, Not on the Same Page

By now I'm sure you've noticed that I love sports analogies. They make sense in my brain. 

Look at your parenting relationship with your spouse as being on a team. 

On teams, there are different members of the same team who have different strengths, skills, and values. 

When you parent from the mentality of being on the same team, you empower the other parent to embrace their values, strengths, and skills to be the best that they can be. 

You allow them to be them. 

You trust that what they bring to the team is exactly what is needed. You notice and appreciate what they bring to the table. 

How Parent on the Same Team (even when you're NOT on the same page)

1. Define Your Own Values
   • If you're like most parents, you've never taken the time to define your own values. 
   • DO IT!
   • This will help you know what is truly important to you.
   • Look to your current reality and results. 
     • Some values you may want to ditch.
     • Some values you will want to double down on.
2. Define Your Own Role and Purpose
   • It's no one's job but your own to tell you what your job is as a parent.
   • Clearly define who you want to be as a parent. 
   • This will help guide you in tough parenting moments. 
3. Explore Your Own Strengths and Skills
   • Believe it or not you have strengths and skills that no one else has!
   • You are uniquely equipped to help your teen in ways that no one else can. 
   • Know your strengths and play to them. 
   • Develop and hone your skills as a parent. 
4. Seek to Understand and Appreciate Your Spouse as They Are
   • Your spouse has their own values.
   • They have their own role and purpose.
   • They have their own strengths and skills. 
   • Appreciate that they bring things to the table that you simply can't do. 
5. Find Ways to Be on THEIR Team!
   • You don't have to be the team captain. 
   • It's usually easier to join their team than to get them to join yours.
   • Find ways to support them and make them look good!
   • Protect them. 
   • Help them thrive and succeed. 

Call to ACTION!

Become A Firmly Founded Parent today. You can transform yourself as a parent! 

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting. 

Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

“Once you accept everything, and you become aware of how you're feeling and why your feeling that way, you can then move forward. instead continually just regressing backwards.” 
~ Abdallah

Abdallah Was Committed Because He Invested in Himself

Abdallah's mom invited Abdallah to invest in himself and his future. 

It's painful to part with $500, but he trusted that it would be worth it. 

Teens get more value from coaching when they are fully committed and have invested in themselves. 

This motivated Abdallah to do the work and go ALL IN!

Weekly Assignments and Why They Work

The work is easy, but it impacts your life. 

It's one thing to put pen to paper, but when you internalize it and start to own it, that's when change starts to happen. 

It's not enough to do the assignments on a superficial level. It's important to dig deep and get vulnerable and uncomfortable to start seeing change. 

When you give it time to sink in, think about it, and meditate on it, the more powerful they become. 

Growth and Evidence of Growth What is Emotional Health

Becoming more vulnerable. Having real vulnerable conversations. To have real vulnerable conversations, that I can hardly talk to someone in person about that. I don't think I could have done those kind of conversations. It was still difficult. Understanding that you can be vulnerable with yourself. You don't have to be vulnerable with everyone you meet. You create an environment where it is acceptable to be vulnerable. 

Being vulnerable is how to stop self-deception. 

We try to pretend that we are tough and not feeling negative emotions, but vulnerability is more powerful. 

Increased emotional health. 

After coaching, you know you can experience every and ALL emotions. Not only can you experience the emotions, but you can also identify and process the emotions. 

Most Powerful Coaching Session

I was taught to not share emotions or get vulnerable. Once you accept everything, and you become aware of how you're feeling and why your feeling that way, you can then move forward. instead continually just regressing backwards.

Abdallah was avoiding emotions in our coaching sessions. This was just a small sample of what was going on in his life. In wrestling, Abdallah was avoiding experiencing the doubt, fear, and shame that he thought would come with losing. 

When we peeled back the emotions, and experienced them, Abdallah realized that the emotions weren't so bad. 

We created a mental and emotional game plan for Abdallah's wrestling match. The mental and emotional game plan, coupled with the physical game plan set up Abdallah for success in the tournament. 

Once you've experienced the pain, there's no reason to shield yourself from the pain. You can just let lose and go all in. 

Stop over coaching yourself and just trust yourself. 

There was never anything wrong with you. I didn't fix you. I gave you some tools and helped you use them. 

The most powerful thing of the coaching sessions, yes it took some guidance, but EVERYTHING I needed, I already had within me. 

Call to ACTION!

How would your life be better if you got coaching for yourself?

How would your life be different if your teen learned the tools of self-coaching?

You have the power to create real change in your life and the life of your teen. 

We have a group coaching program for both of you. Join TODAY!

Join Firmly Founded Parent and Teen TODAY!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Times I've Tried to Change From the Outside In. 

I've got to be honest. I am guilty of trying to change things from the outside in. Even with everything that I know, I still find myself trying to change things from the outside in. 

Just yesterday, in fact it was probably today at like 12:30 am on the way home from my oldest son's basketball tournament, I tried to change something from the outside in. 

I wanted my son to go to summer football workouts the next morning and he didn't want to. I tried to change his mind. I tried to help him see that he was missing out on an opportunity to show up when tons of his teammates will be missing football due to the previous late night. 

I tried to help him see that this would be a powerful moment for him to demonstrate his commitment to football to his team and his coaches. 

I wanted to change him, how he was showing up in football, and I was losing this battle. 

I was totally trying to change something outside of myself, hoping it would change something inside of myself. 

I thought, if I could just get him to go to football, he'd be a better football player, he'd dominate the game, everyone would know that my offspring is superior in the sport of football, and I'd be proud!

Inside Out vs Outside In 

Most people try to change things from the outside in.

In parenting you might try to change your teen, your spouse, or your teen's choices, all so you can feel better inside. 

When it comes to health, you might try to change your exercise routine, your diet, or your doctor, all so you can be healthier on the inside. 

When it comes to wealth, you might try to work extra hours, get a new job or win the lottery, all so that on the inside you can enjoy the benefits of wealth. 

The problem is, these are all efforts to change something on the outside so you can experience change on the inside. 

Often times when you try to change things outside of yourself, you are focusing on things that you cannot control. 

The most powerful way to change is from the inside out!

In PARENTING, rather that trying to change your spouse or teen so you can feel peace and confidence, YOU can BE THE CHANGE!
Change how YOU Think, Feel, and Act. These are all internal changes. Change YOU and how you are BEing.

When it comes to health, change who you are on the inside. I AM HEALTHY! Then, live from that place. As a healthy person, . . . I only eat food that fuels my body, . . . I enjoy regular vigorous activity. 

See how the change starts from the inside and then radiates outward? 

When it comes to wealth, choose to be wealthy. Choose to be generous and helpful. Choose to be intentional with your money. These all start on the inside. 

How to Change from the Inside Out

Step #1 - Awareness

As is the case so often, the first step is awareness. WHERE AM I TRYING TO CHANGE FROM THE OUTSIDE->IN?

Step #2 - Identify & Shift

Step #3 - Practice

Call to ACTION!

Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent! 

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

This is the first and most powerful step in changing from the inside out when it comes to your parenting. 

Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

What Tough Parenting Moments DO & DON'T Mean 

Becoming a Professional Parent 

No one shames professional athletes for working to improve themselves. We actually respect them for their dedication and hard work. 

Don't let others hold you back because of their thoughts or their shame. You can improve as a parent with dedication and hard work. 

I Should vs I Want vs I Will vs I AM!

Should doesn't serve us. It holds us back.

An up grade from "I should" is "I want." The next step is, "I will." But, the most powerful belief is "I AM!"

When you go from thinking, "I should be better," to believing, "I AM a great parent," you will find that you have way more power than you realize. You will start to parent with confidence and purpose because you trust yourself. 

What are your "I" statements? What do you believe about who you are? What are your values? 

What are the "I" statements that you need to be the parent that you want to be?

Your teens will pattern their personal beliefs off of your "I" and "you" statements. 

How to Practice for Tough Parenting Moments

It's okay to want to be your best. 

The Wheel of Life is a visual concept that I teach to help parents and teens understand that life is 50/50. It’s 50% pleasant and 50% unpleasant. This is normal. Nothing has gone wrong.

When things are going great in our lives, we are on the top of the wheel. When things kind of suck, or things aren’t going how we want them to, we are on the bottom of the wheel.

Sometimes, when we are on the top of the wheel, we forget to enjoy where we are in life’s journey, and we forget that being on the top isn’t going to last forever. This leads us to think that something has gone wrong when we find ourselves on the bottom of the wheel.

When we are on the top of the wheel is the best time to prepare for the inevitable times that are coming when we will be on the bottom of the wheel.

When we practice when we are on the top of the wheel, when things are going well, we can prepare for future struggles. This is an opportunity to be intentional about who we are and how we want to live. This way, when things get tough, we are prepared to be who we want to be.

This is how you can prepare yourself for tough parenting moments. When you're on the top of the wheel, identify "How can I use the to prepare for when I'm on the bottom of the wheel?"

Then, when you're on the bottom of the wheel, realize that you have prepared for this. Trust yourself and show up with confidence as the best version of yourself as you can. 

How to Connect with Zach Spafford

Zack and his wife are the hosts of The Self Mastery Podcast.

You can check it out by clicking here:
https://www.zachspafford.com/podcast

You can also connect with Zach on Instagram here:
https://www.instagram.com/zachspafford.selfmasterycoach/

Call to ACTION!

Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent, and we want to help. 

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

This is the first and most powerful step in developing confidence in yourself and your parenting. 

Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
 Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question"

Transformation VS Improvement. 

Improvement focuses on better whereas transformation focuses on different. 

Usually, improvement is focused on the perceived problems, and simply improving how we respond to the problem. 

Transformation on the other hand is focused on the vision of what could be and becoming the vision. 

There is a time a place for both transformation and improvement. 

To Transform or to Improve, That is The Question

Like I said, there is a time and a place for both transformation and improvement. 

You get to decide where you are and what you need. 

You can achieve both through coaching, but it's up to you to know and understand what YOU want to be working on. 

How to Achieve Parenting Transformation

Step #1 Start with Awareness 

This is my favorite place to start. Take some time to develop some awareness about where you are in your own personal growth. Become aware of what is going on around you and within you. Understand not only the what, but the why and the impact it is having on you. 

I see lots of people skipping this step. They want a transformation. They know they are not happy as they are, but they don't really take the time to deeply understand why.  

Become aware of what you CAN and CAN'T control, what you want to control and what you don't want to control, and what you're willing to control and what you're not willing to control. This awareness will help prepare you for step #2.

For more on awareness checkout Episode 39, Awareness Before Intention

Step #2 Be Willing to Let Go of Things 

This step is huge! In fact, currently the biggest struggle that I see with the parents that I work with is their unwillingness to let go of things. And 99% of the time, the things parents have the hardest time letting go of are the things that aren't actually within their control. 

Be willing to let go of the things that you cannot control. 

Be willing to let go of things that are not your priority. We live in a world that has normalized trying to do E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. We end up doing so many things that we can't do any of them well. 

If it's not a priority, stop doing it. 

This step is key to getting a transformation! When you commit to doing less, you'll actually get way more done!

Step #3 Be intentional

Being intentional is vital to creating a parenting transformation. Being unintentional is likely what has created your current circumstance. Most of what we do is unintentional. By shifting into intention, you will change who you are BEing. 

To do this, really explore . . . 
WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? 
WHAT ARE MY VALUES?
WHAT ARE MY PRIORITIES?
WHAT ARE THE RESULTS I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH AS A PARENT?

This doesn't mean that you will magically be perfectly intentional. Learn from the times that you are living out of intention. Recommit to BEing the change that you want to see. 

Summer Is Perfect For Transformation

I believe that summer time is actually a better time to achieve a transformation, especially for parents like you!

Summer is only 2-3 months. You're not committing to a whole year like you did in January. It's doable. 

You've got this. 

Call to ACTION!

Join our parenting membership. You can transform yourself as a parent, and we want to help. 

Stop worrying that you are doing it all wrong, and join the Firmly Founded Parent TODAY!

Become the Parent of Your Dreams TODAY!

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