IMPOSSIBLE COIN

Rocky is comfortable telling Ted Cruz he looks wet all the time. John Kennedy did not own a bulletproof bowler hat. Britney Spears bald head was a sign of independence and self-determination not the spastic action of a privileged elite. The spastic action of a privileged elite was when she put puke in her pocket and claimed it was peanut butter. Red Dead Redemption II is a video game and Brian and Tegan have thoughts. Brian is playing Hitman 2 and is life is better for it. There is a fire truck full of SUPER COCAINE!!! And for god's sake, TAKE A BATH.

Tegan dives into the cowboy game. Rocky plays ULTIMATE ROCKY. (It's a multiplayer game but the second player can only be found between 11-12 in line.) Brian experiences unsettling Bowsette thirst caused by a rassler and feels bad about it and Tegan doesn't care about the PS Classic line-up. Brian's positivity about it can only be characterized as positive because so much else is garbage that he is willing to let the world burn. As usual, there are video games. Regardless of what you know about us please know that we want to fuck around and make a billion dollar tequila.

What's up boils and ghouls? Looking to get your minimum allowance of murder, mayhem and mischief? Well creeps, you've come to the right place. Brian Cartwrightstein and Te-ghoul Summerset join Festevil Horrorbody for Impossible Coin's Halloween Spooktacular! It's got Pokemon Go, cowardly corporations, wrestling and cancer. All the things that make Halloween, video games and podcasts great!

The team creates a new Law and Order spin-off. Tegan knows stuff about diamonds. Evil, virtual prisons are discussed. Hamilbang is headed to Japan. Rocky briefs on Red Dead crunch and Brian likes old man things and will eventually die. Probably also anime.

The year, 2018.

Rocky Hardee and Tegan Summerset bent on slandering dolphins raise their voices in hate to besmirch mankind's favorite sea mammal. One man sees the change of seasons. He sees the rising tide and stands in defense of dolphins.

That man, Brian Cartwright. He never asked to be a one-man dolphin defense force but that is where we have arrived. THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Other things that happen on this video game podcast include Tegan and Rocky do an anime; Telltale is a shitty company from beyond the grave; Ohio is filled with haunted houses and Brian shits on Mario Party.

Rocky and Tegan die on the hill that Mario Party is good. A double fake, scam wedding is announced. The team explores the possibilities for an Ohio state slogan and also discusses Ohio state tourist attractions. Brian's fight with UPS draws to a close. Rocky gambles and loves the new Dragon Quest. Telltale continues to garbage despite expiring and big changes at Blizzard. RIP Applesnake.

First of all, I'm not apologizing for this week's thumbnail. I wanted something that conveys the SHEER AWFULNESS of a three dimensional chess of exploitation. As bad it is the thumbnail doesn't begin to capture how crappy every decision made at Telltale Games is. That stuff is so bad we had to call in additional help. We're joined by Big Sach and Joe Spiro. We also tackle important issues like is motivation important in corporate citizenship behaviors and the underwhelming nature of the new Tomb Raider. There may also be wrestling and Tegan screaming but you already knew that fam.

Rocky sets fire to his kitchen. Press F to pay respects. Telltale Games implodes, Tegan and Rocky hash out the PlayStation Classic. Marriages keep falling apart over Fortnite. Tegan seems unimpressed by Lara Croft and there aren't many games out on Steam today.

There is some discussion about whether or not Tegan smokes drugs or just vapes. These wild accusations come about as a result of the Arby's segment from last week. Tegan insists that it is too humid to vape. (Bruh do you even vape?) Doctor Disrespect got shot at. (Please don't shoot at people even if they suck you nitwits.) Brian's copy of SNK HEROINES has been lost due to a series of fun shipping errors and Brian got to go on the most magical tow truck ride of all time. Rocky says some explosive and divisive shit about cultural icon Joey Tribbiani and we start an online petition.

This is normally where our artisanal show notes go but you know what? This week we're holding that L.