Discord messages regarding this episode during editing:

• Hans: I was not having a good time with this one
• Hans: I sound completely exasperated
• Zach: Which episode is this?
• Hans: Submerged
• Zach: Oh none of us were having a good time with that one
• Hans: lol no, we open on you saying Connecticut is a trash-tier state
• Zach: Fight me, Nutmeggers
• Zach: I'll take on all 3,606,000 of those Dunkin' Donuts swilling jerks

Here's an Imgur album for screenshots we reference.

Edited by Hans.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

Finally Seagal gets to live out every single one of his weeb fantasies to the fullest. In a script just barely legally distinct from The Yakuza (1974), we follow CIA Agent Travis Hunter: a man who knows Japan better than any Japanese person, despite seemingly not recognizing mall food court sushi.

I dunno, this movie is just so... yeah... it's something or other. We spend a surprisingly large amount of time discussing the various language dubs of the 2005 documentary March of the Penguins.

Here's an Imgur album for screenshots we reference.

Edited by Zach.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

Content Warning: Seagal made a movie about human trafficking and children. He handles it with absolutely no sensitivity. We try our best, but we get it if that's not your thing.

They found a way to make the "rescue the daughter" genre of action-thriller way way worse; now we have a "rescue the 14-year-old Polish girl the hero has a very suspicious relationship with" action-thriller. Seriously, the movie doesn't even try to explain why Seagal (sorry, Billy Ray Lansing) is pen-pals with this girl because they probably know that would only make it worse. Come listen to us talk about it.

Edited by Aaron Lynch.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

Zach forbade me from making any jokes about the belly of the beast and Steven Seagal's increasingly beastly belly, so the only real thing I can tell you about this movie is that it at least made me laugh a few times at how bad it was.

On the plus side, we did get to hang out with our very good friend Isabel for her thoughts about [gut pun redacted].

- Listen to Bah Bau

- Visit our wonderful website at stevenseeitall.com to download Aaron's Babylon Essay, "Why it's good, and why I hated it".

Edited by Hans.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

After raising our hopes surprisingly high with the relatively dumb fun schlockfest of The Foreigner, the second time around Michael Oblowitz unfortunately disappoints with the very dumb not fun snoozefest of Out for a Kill. This was the second Seagal/Oblowitz collab in one calendar year; so I suppose every man has his limits.

I guess greasy lightning doesn't strike twice.

Edited by Zach.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

In what is definitely one of his most entertaining films, Steven Seagal is The Foreigner. Sadly for him, however, he remains one of the least interesting aspects of the movie. We here at Steven See It All are pretty sure there was a mix-up at the movie studio. The deranged Frenchman was supposed to be the main character (Dunoir, Boudoir, Filmnoire? whatever his absurd name is). Come and have a laugh with us over this one, and honestly, maybe watch it?

Here's an Imgur album for screenshots we reference.

Edited by Aaron.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

The week after the absolute pile of steaming garbage that was Ticker , pretty much anything seemed like a great next movie. Unfortunately about halfway through this episode we all realized that Half Past Dead is also a bad movie in a very uninteresting and unfunny way, it just seemed better in comparison.

Edited by Hans.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

You know when something is so very very bad, but then you learn about how it was pretty much doomed from the start and never even had a chance to be good? Can you even be mad at it in that situation?

Yes. Yes you can.

Edited by Zach.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

Wow, Zach was right. This is one big Beeferoni of a movie. Steven Seagal co-stars alongside hip-hop legend DMX (for some reason) in this... detective... drama? About... gun violence? Police corruption? The War on Drugs? It's really unclear what this movie is supposed to be. Anyway, Seagal finds new and interesting ways to be lame while being outshone by all his co-stars. The soundtrack slaps though.

Edited by Aaron.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.

Say you see Seagal's face front and center on the poster of his new direct to video movie right underneath the title, "The Patriot". You're naturally led to believe that Seagal himself is "The Patriot."

You are, of course, wrong. This film is 95 minutes long and just about every one of those minutes is jam-packed full of reasons why it never saw the silver screen.

Here's an Imgur album for screenshots we reference.

Edited by Hans.

Follow us on Letterboxd! Aaron, Hans, and Zach

Disclaimer: We do not endorse Steven Seagal nor any of the heinous acts of which he is accused. We do not wish to boost his career, finances, or ego; we just aim to talk about his many very, very bad movies.