Parental burnout is described as an exhaustion syndrome, both physical and emotional. This overwhelming exhaustion leads to emotional distancing from our children and increases our feelings of inadequacy and ineffective parenting. The tricky thing about parent burnout is that was are not supposed to be able to burnout. Parenting is "wonderful" and "fulfilling" and the "greatest joy" we can ever hope for. With those expectations, how do we deal with the reality of parent burnout? How do we undo the damage of COVID lockdowns, no school, home school, working from home, fear and frustrations. Even as we move into an endemic stage and can feel "normal" we might still feel burned out and we might be getting burned out. 

Online Assessments and Inventories

Burnout Parental Assessment

Parental Stress Scale

Stress and Burnout Questionnaire

Burnout Self-Test Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI)

Articles

The impact of parental burnout: What psychological research suggests about how to recognize and overcome it

Parental Burnout: What Makes It Different

Narrative therapy is a technique for therapy that is supposed to help people separate themselves from their problems. Problems occur in cultural and social contexts. Using context and language, narrative therapy provides a way for a person to understand their own "Hero's Journey." Are you the hero or the victim of your story? Do you know? Listen to this week's podcast for an overview of what narrative therapy is and how it can be used to externalize your problems, re-author and integrate neglected aspects of yourself, and find meaning in your stories. 

Narrative Therapy, Positive Psychology

Optimist Minds Worksheets

I'm ending this series on grief with a final review of "The Grief Recovery Handbook" which I think you all should read. There are steps and activities and accountability expectations in this book to help you work through your incomplete grief before it becomes depression, anxiety, or panic. Complicated grief is hard to deal with because it's not always okay to be happy someone has died, wish we were single, or want meaningful relationships to end. Our friends, neighbors, and loved ones may not be aware that their depression or anxiety is related to grief or loss. Be open and supportive, validate without trying to fix or convince someone they need to feel differently. 

Grief and loss are emotional experiences. Unfortunately, we aren't very good at it, and we aren't very good at helping people with their grief. As a society, we are not taught how to deal with loss. Most of us don't like difficult emotions, we avoid, change the subject, and intellectualize the experience. Listen to this week's podcast as I continue reflecting on grief through the eyes of James and Friedman who wrote "The Grief Recovery Handbook." 

We've been given a narrative about grief that does not necessarily serve all of our loss experiences. The 5 emotional stages were originally identified by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross while she was working with terminally ill patients, palliative care, and hospice for those who were near death. It grew and is now widely used for bereavement, and other loss and change experiences. Friedman and James disagree with the overuse of the stages and believe there are more helpful ways to see our way through grief and loss. Also, we have learned a number of unhealthy ways to understand how to cope with our experiences. Listen to this week's podcast to see why unlearning old and learning new strategies to recover from our grief can help reduce depression and anxiety.

I'm reading "The Grief Recovery Handbook" and I think it's an interesting and unique way of looking at grief. In terms of therapy and counseling, pretty much everything can be linked to grief and trauma. I have seen research that shows where complicated or unresolved grief presents and is often diagnosed as depression. LIsten to this week's podcast as I begin a kind of book review and talk about grief - perhaps differently than you have heard before. 

Do you try to control or influence areas where you don't actually have any? Do you try to control people or things with no results? Who do you feel controls you, your emotions, or some other area of your life? Do you run from, deny, or avoid situations, feelings, or realities? Codependency is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. Listen to this week's podcast to see if you have codependent tendencies and how to do something different. 

This week I answer a question about making friends as an adult. You are not alone if you struggle with this. There are a lot of reasons this is hard, and there are a lot of limitations, but I do my best to provide ideas that are actually doable for both online relationships and in-person relationships. Following that, I have a conversation with myself about codependency, beginning with a definition. Any amount of codependency in your relationships will also impact your ability to set and respect boundaries. You will probably want to review the boundary podcasts after you hear this week's episode. Check out the links below for research on friendships, and codependency inventories you can see for free.

MIriam Kirmayer

Friel Co-Dependency Assessment Inventory

Codependency Questionnaire

Codependency: What are the Signs and How to Overcome it

Are you ready for therapy? Listen to this week's podcast for some important things to know as you look for a good fit. Self-care. What it is and what it is not. I'm not good at it, but I can tell you some ways to understand what it is, and how to make it a priority in your life. 

Set reasonable expectations. Minimize your use of the words "should, must, or have to." Recognize that doing something is better than doing nothing. Use James Clear's 2-minute rule to accomplish tasks, and create new habits. Don't let perfect keep you from getting something done, and look for ways to have good enough relationships.