Drs. John and Julie Gottman have identified 4 conflict communication styles that, unless addressed, can have dire effects on any relationship. Listen to this week's podcast, identify your styles and do the work of replacing them with their antidotes. I

Gottman Four Horsemen

The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

Gottman - Small Things Often

The number one thing couples fight about is "nothing." Nothing can feel pretty bad, though. Drs. Julie and John Gottman offer some strategies for managing some of your perpetual conflicts. Additionally, perhaps we could be more open about our imperfect relationships to create a more realistic understanding of what "real" marriages look like. Listen to this week's podcast to open up new understanding.

How many types of relationship conflict are there? Let's talk this week about three specific types of conflict as described by Drs. Julie and John Gottman. In their Gottman Method Couples Therapy, they talk about solvable problems, perpetual problems, and gridlock perpetual problems. Listen to this week's podcast, and I'll give some basic information to get you started on increasing your understanding of how conflict shows up in your relationships. All the information I use in this podcast is available on the internet.

The Gottman Institute

Goals are good insofar as they provide direction for change and improvement. However, just having a goal is not likely to be accomplished without a change in the system. The system is how you choose to engage in the work to accomplish the goal. Atomic habits are the small, daily, repeated behaviors that help you engage in the process and achieve your goals.

Atomic Habits

James Clear

I accidentally published episode 51 on Sunday evening instead of Monday morning. Oops. 

James Clear

Being a child can be hard. Being an adult can be hard, and being an adult child can feel like you are always trying to find out who you are, what you want to be, and how you want to engage in your world separate and apart from your family of origin. Listen to today's podcast to learn some ways to engage in setting boundaries with your parents. Values, compassion, assertive communication, and appreciation are all part of setting health boundaries. 

What type of parent are you? What are your values? It is useful to have some answers to these questions as you listen to this podcast about parents and parenting boundaries. There are a lot of ways to navigate how you stay in your circle while your kids stay in theirs. 

Taking a break from boundaries to talk about Christmas traditions. About 12 years ago, we started "Christmas Service Letters" as a gift from the kids to mom and dad. This is a podcast about that. 

Are you struggling with the words to use to set boundaries, reinforce expectations or reach out for help? Listen to this week's podcast to hear me talk about appropriate ways to communicate and discuss important topics. I will also run through a dozen or so different scenarios that can be generalized to just about any boundary setting experience. 

I Statements 

Soft Start-Up