Despite the important role it plays in relationships, understanding does not have to be imperative in all interactions. Sometimes our need for understanding is connecting and helps move our relationships into more safety and security. Other times, a need to be understood is an example of our inability to hold boundaries. Occasionally our inability to understand is because we aren't doing the work of gathering information. Listen to this week's podcast to see why we really can't understand each other, and what your role is as a person in relationships. 

What is the difference between hedonia and eudaimonia? What is a happiness set-point? How does my set-point affect my ability to be happy? Can happiness be pursued? Listen to this week's podcast for answers to these questions and more. 

The Hedonic Treadmill - Are we Forever Chasing Rainbows?

How to measure happiness: hedonia vs. eudaimonia

In a world where the focus on happiness is growing and science is teaching us new things about how to create lasting happiness, it's time to learn what happiness means. The science helps us understand what happy people do differently, and how we can feel happier even when things feel overwhelming.

What Happy People Know by Dan Baker

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris

">The Happiness Lab Podcast

According to James Clear, there are three levels of behavior change; the first is changing your outcomes, the second is changing your process, and the third is changing your identity. Perhaps you have habits you want to change regarding your relationships. Listen to this week's podcast to see how these two topics relate to one another. 

Drs. John and Julie Gottman have identified 4 conflict communication styles that, unless addressed, can have dire effects on any relationship. Listen to this week's podcast, identify your styles and do the work of replacing them with their antidotes. I

Gottman Four Horsemen

The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

Gottman - Small Things Often

The number one thing couples fight about is "nothing." Nothing can feel pretty bad, though. Drs. Julie and John Gottman offer some strategies for managing some of your perpetual conflicts. Additionally, perhaps we could be more open about our imperfect relationships to create a more realistic understanding of what "real" marriages look like. Listen to this week's podcast to open up new understanding.

How many types of relationship conflict are there? Let's talk this week about three specific types of conflict as described by Drs. Julie and John Gottman. In their Gottman Method Couples Therapy, they talk about solvable problems, perpetual problems, and gridlock perpetual problems. Listen to this week's podcast, and I'll give some basic information to get you started on increasing your understanding of how conflict shows up in your relationships. All the information I use in this podcast is available on the internet.

The Gottman Institute

Goals are good insofar as they provide direction for change and improvement. However, just having a goal is not likely to be accomplished without a change in the system. The system is how you choose to engage in the work to accomplish the goal. Atomic habits are the small, daily, repeated behaviors that help you engage in the process and achieve your goals.

Atomic Habits

James Clear

I accidentally published episode 51 on Sunday evening instead of Monday morning. Oops. 

James Clear