In the Wake

In honor of April being Sexual Assault Awareness month, I'm talking about consent. But not just consent -  teaching your kids the concept of consent from the time they can talk until they grow up and move out of the house. The societal norm has been to give the sex talk once at age 10 or 12 and then be done with it, but that is no longer enough. These conversations need to happen constantly, always, and forever. Consent isn't just about sex. It's about hugs, kisses, sharing, cuddling, tickling, secrets. Kids need to understand consent in order to create personal boundaries and not only respect their own bodies but also others' bodies and space. To prevent your kids from either becoming a victim of sexual assault or a predator perpetrating sexual assault, the best thing you can do for them is educate them, give them a voice of consent, and an understanding of respect.

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Resources:
- Tea Consent Video
- Grey's Anatomy Scene

Articles to help parents with conversations about consent:
- teachconsent.org
- talkwithyourkids.org
- childmind.org

Children's book about consent:
- Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect

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Song: Barbies by P!nk

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Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com
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I am talking all things therapy - my personal experience with therapy, the common stigmas attached to therapy, and the realities and benefits of therapy. March 30th, 2019, was my two year anniversary in therapy. Since that day, I have tried CBT therapy, EMDR therapy, family therapy, couples therapy, hypnotherapy, and many therapy support groups. I also helped start a support group through my foundation, End the Stigma, with my therapist running the group. The group grew so popular that there are now three support groups for teens here in Henderson, Nevada. 

My point is I. LOVE. THERAPY. But the rest of the world shames and stigmatizes therapy. I'm here to break down those stigmas and fight for the strength it takes to reach out for help.

Some of the stigmas or myths about therapy that I go over:

• You are weak for going to therapy. You weren't strong enough to do it on your own. Or you must not have a good support system or great home life. 
• It isn't "bad enough" to go to therapy.
• I tried therapy and didn't like my therapist so I guess therapy doesn't work for me.
• I'm uncomfortable talking to a stranger about my personal life.
• I don't need therapy because I have God and prayer to fix my problems.
• Going through the motions of simply showing up to therapy is good enough to make progress in my life. 

All of these are false, exaggerated, and damaging beliefs that hold people back from going to therapy. Listen in to hear what I have to say regarding each one and what the reality looks like!

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Here are the resources from Tiffany Roe - therapist, influencer, speaker, and owner of a mental health facility. She runs the campaign that Therapy IS Cool.
Instagram: @heytiffanyroe
@mindfulcounseling
Website: tiffanyroe.com
Podcast: Therapy Thoughts

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Here are the flyers for my teen therapy support groups here in Henderson, Nevada.

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Song: Clearly by Grace VanderWaal

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Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com
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In this episode I share my journey of being a people pleaser for eighteen years and what it looks like to turn that around to own your power. I go deep into the fears, underlying beliefs, and reasons why we feel the need to please everyone around us. I then list the tools and new habits you can create to quiet the inner people pleaser in you, such as boundaries, saying 'no,' understanding your fears, owning your time, and coming to peace with the fact that not everybody is going to like you. I believe that all of us have a hint of people pleasing in us because the need for approval and acceptance are basic human essentials. The difference is your intentions and where you are seeking this approval from. Instead of constantly seeking outward for these things where you'll receive crumbs, look inward to nourish and flourish that need.

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Song: What If I by Jessi Smiles

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.
Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com
Contact me here.
My Story:
Part 1
Part 2

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In this golden episode, I interview Brynlie Ellefsen, a girl using her voice and platform to spread girl empowerment. We talk about the comparison and competition girls face, how social media affects this, and what it looks like to be a girl in today's world. She talks about giveaways she has done in the past encouraging girls to share their appreciation and love for the other girls in their lives. Brynlie hypes up every girl she comes across and shares how you can start doing the same thing. Listen in to feel more empowered and lightened up!

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Brynlie recently shared her #NoFilter story about mental illness through the End the Stigma. Watch it here.

Follow, contact, and get to know Brynlie here:
Instagram: @brynlie.ellefsen

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Song: Baby, You're Beautiful by Lady Bri

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.
Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

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In this episode, I cover mental health - something I am deeply passionate about. Regardless of a mental illness diagnosis, we all have mental health. Everyone needs to maintain and strengthen their mental state of mind. I identify what poor mental health looks like, such as perfectionism, high stress, pessimism, and self esteem issues. I break down mental health into your:
 
1. Thoughts
2. Feelings
3. Behaviors

Listen in to hear how to take care of each section of your mental health.

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The meditation app I mention is called Calm.

Some of my favorite mental health experts are:

• Tiffany Roe: therapist, psychology teacher, & speaker. She has several mental health courses on her website.
• Dr. Brene Brown: researcher, writer, speaker, & goddess of all things mental health. Read her books or take her courses and you won't regret it. 
• Amanda E. White: therapist, coach, influencer. She specifies in therapy for women and has weekly newsletters, a therapy clinic, and online counseling or coaching. 

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Song: Alright by Walk Off The Earth

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Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

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In this episode, I explain the reasons we get stuck in a mindset of complaining rather than doing. I expand upon what it looks like to take action rather than simply react to what's happening around you. I share what it looked like when I was stuck in a pity party of complaining to the comparison of what my life looks like now as I have taken action to create the life I love. Take a listen to hear some mindset growth tips on shifting from complainer to doer.

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Song: A Million Dreams by P!nk

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.
Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

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*Disclaimer*

Whytli here. I would like to make an update edit stating that, in the time since this episode was posted, I have discovered that many of my personal values may not align well with those of the episode's guest(s). This is based on stances they have taken and/or shared on social media, etc. Although I may not 100% agree anymore with everything that was said, I don't feel the need to take down this episode because it may still have valuable content or messages that some may need to hear. If you are listening to this older episode, you may keep that in mind.

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On this episode, I speak with my best friend, Megan Van Alfen, about the unspoken rules of society that we find ourselves following and we are here to question them. Who made up these rules? If no one speaks of them, how do we all know them? Why do we unconsciously follow them? Listen in to find the answers. We challenge you to break these rules. Speak a different language then society. Embrace your individuality rather than following the crowd. Here are only five rules we talk about:

1. The Instagram rules--followings, double posting, perfect pictures & captions, obligated posts for events, etc.
2. The automatic response of "I'm good" to the everyday question "How are you?"
3. The unacceptable cancelling of plans for change in mental health, priorities, or circumstances
4. Saying 'yes' to dates
5. Being in a relationship equates to happiness

Better understand what these rules mean and look like by listening into this fun and light hearted conversation I had with Megan.

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Song: Misfit by High Dive Heart

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Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

This is an extra vulnerable episode as I talk about my struggle of control while I'm in the thick of it. I have found myself almost addicted to feeling in control and it has negatively affected multiple aspects of my life including my anxiety. I'm learning to navigate what I can and cannot control in my life. I tell multiple stories and insights as I make the shift and progress towards a happier, lighter life free from the urges to control everything. The three things I talk about are:

1. Circle of control
2. Fear is the root of control
3. Learning to let go

Tune in for a heartfelt conversation on what it looks like to be overwhelmed by control.

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Song: One Day at a Time by Madilyn Paige

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Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

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I discuss what helpful versus hurtful ways of supporting your loved ones look like. I explain the automatic human responses to a friend struggling that may not be the most helpful approach. I narrow it down to four ways to be a successful support:

1. Holding space free of judgement, criticism, or opinions
2. Validating them, their feelings, and their experiences
3. Showing up constantly
4. Genuine empathy

Listen in to dive deeper into these four characteristics of support. I also talk about what it's like needing support and speaking up for those needs as well as being the supporter.

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Song: Anymore by Madilyn Paige

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.
Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

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No matter who you are, we all struggle with self worth and self love at one point or another. When you learn to genuinely love yourself as you are, in turn you learn to love others and your life more fully. I tell the story of my personal journey to learning to love myself.
I committed to an 18 day challenge to do just that. Here's that challenge along with a few others:

18 Day Love Yourself Challenge
30 Day Love Yourself Book
7 Day Love Yourself Challenge

I also travel around the West Coast teaching a Love Yourself Lesson. I have taught this to church groups, youth groups, school classes, friends, teenagers, both boys and girls. If you'd like to contact me to potentially come teach at your event or group, contact me here.

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Song: Don't Be So Hard On Yourself by Jess Glynne

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Follow along with the rest of my journey.
Instagram: @whytli
Website: whytli.com

Support the show