In This Family

Content Warning: This episode discusses grief, eating disorders, and self-harm.

When author and artist Tracey Yokas lost her mother, which happened only a few months after her dad died, Tracey was devastated, as was Tracey’s eighth grade daughter, Faith. But things quickly got more complicated as Faith’s grief evolved into a severe eating disorder and acts of self-harm. Soon, Tracey was navigating a very difficult process of trying to help Faith get better while suffering real challenges to her own mental health and the stability of her marriage. Faith did eventually get better, she’s grown now and doing well, and in writing about this period in her book, Bloodlines: A Memoir of Harm and Healing, Tracey found that some of Faith’s problems stemmed from issues Tracey had growing up as well. She examined the traumas of her youth, the relationship to food, the habits that her parents had likely handed down from their own families. It’s an intriguing discussion of mental health, what we can and cannot control, and the long road to healing.

Content Warning: This episode discusses anxiety and generational trauma. 

New York based comedian, podcast host, and writer Ophira Eisenberg grew up in Calgary, the sixth child of parents who had survived traumatic experiences in World War 2 and wars in the Middle East. Their difficulty in addressing those traumas led to extreme anxiety, anger issues, and the creation of a family where trauma-related mental health conditions were passed down. For Ophira, who fled home as soon as she could, that has manifest in bouts of fury over a glove in a grocery store, extreme and constant worry over her own child’s safety, and a conscious effort to learn how to confront difficult things head on, despite how uncomfortable they may be. She’s also thankful to her mother in particular for teaching her the value of moving forward anyway, no matter how much events of the past try to drag you down. Ophira Eisenberg hosts the podcast Parenting is a Joke, tells stories with The Moth, and performs as a standup comic.

Content Warning: This episode mentions domestic abuse, substance abuse and suicide. 

Acclaimed writer and university professor Jason Tougaw has a very serene life now as an adult. He’s married, living in New York, and although he says he works too much, he finds time to reflect on a childhood that was much more chaotic. Jason’s family passed around a belief that something was wrong with their blood, which they cited to explain generations of eccentric and destructive behavior as well as chronic instability. As a kid, Jason lived in a school bus, lived with an abusive stepfather, lived with his grandmother for stretches of time, and tried to make sense of his homosexuality in an era where being gay definitely did not feel okay. But Jason paid attention to habits and ways of living that he didn’t wish to replicate, paths that could lead him to a better life, and to the healing power of New Wave music. It’s a fascinating conversation for anyone who has ever felt that their family of origin was their destiny and anyone who wanted to break patterns.

Content Warning: This episode discusses anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia.

On the radio as the witty host of NPR’s Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me, Peter Sagal projects an upbeat and fun personality. But, as he shares with host Dr. Michelle K. Murray, it hasn’t always been that way. From being an anxious and depressed kid with undiagnosed ADHD to a downward spiral following the end of his first marriage, Peter struggled with mental health issues he never fully acknowledged or understood. When he did start to connect the dots and seek help, Peter was able to connect with his father and learn illuminating chapters and family history. And when he married again and began raising a second family, he was able to put an end to some of his own habits and some less than healthy inherited habits. It’s a side of Peter Sagal you probably haven’t heard before and you’ll be glad you listened.

In This Family’s second season is just around the corner, coming to you on January 28th with a brand new set of moving and illuminating conversations about family and mental health. In the meantime, communities around the country are experiencing civil unrest in places like Minneapolis, where Nexus Family Healing is based, Portland, and many other cities. Host Dr. Michelle K. Murray offers some practical advice on taking care of yourself and your loved ones during these tumultuous events, including how to make a plan with your family and establishing rules and boundaries for activism and media consumption. We can’t make these challenges go away but we can offer you some guidance and ideas to take good care of your mind and family. 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, mood disorders, and suicide. 

Long before she was an acclaimed rapper, singer, and author, Dessa was a scared adolescent, facing big feelings that she didn’t know what to do with and running away from home. She eventually found peace with her parents and returned to them and the younger brother who needed her and loved her very much. Dessa tells us how family support and a curiosity about health and medicine have served her well, including when as a young adult she checked into an in-patient facility and received a diagnosis of cyclothymia, which she describes as a sort of “low-carb bipolar disorder”. She fills us in on how she’s managed that, how her family of origin has continued to lean on each other for support, and how she’s bringing her wisdom to a new relationship. 

Content Warning: This episode discusses anxiety, addiction and suicide. 

Fans of the beloved cult TV hit Mystery Science Theater 3000 have enjoyed many laughs from actor and writer Bill Corbett, who played the acerbic robot Crow on the show. Bill’s off-screen life hasn’t always been quite so hilarious. In this candid interview, he talks about growing up in an era where mental health was never discussed, even though his father had all the hallmarks of an anxiety problem and there were massive alcohol problems on his mom’s side. Bill inherited both, thumbing through self-help books at age 14, desperate to shake off an anxiety that would hold on for decades. He shares the story of having a breakdown in New York City, convinced that earthquakes were imminent. He also tells of his heavy use of alcohol and cocaine and his path to a conscientious sobriety. And Bill discusses how he’s raising his own kids, meeting their mental health issues with openness and transparency and love. 

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide, depression and schizophrenia.

Families can be loving, they can be problematic, and, above all, they can be complicated. Author and professor Clancy Martin’s family of origin was very complicated indeed, featuring a dashing, charismatic father who founded his own religion and also dealt with schizophrenia. The family was also faced with suicidality, including Clancy’s own wish to die at age three and multiple suicide attempts spanning most of his life. He tells host Dr. Michelle K. Murray about what a lifetime of trying to die feels like, about his own complex family, which features five children over the course of three marriages, and how just in the last few years he has managed to finally lose that urge to make the worst decision one can make. Talking about frightening mental health topics, as he did in his memoir, How Not To Kill Yourself, led him to not just shake that feeling but also led to helping others who are in danger, which helped Clancy even more. It’s an eye-opening episode, an episode that lets in a lot of sunlight, featuring a guest who once saw only darkness.

Family gatherings during the holidays are a time of connection and joy. They can also be a cause of anxiety or lead to triggering situations. 

In this special holiday episode of In This Family, Dr. Michelle K. Murray provides practical tips on thriving or maybe just surviving family events. She reminds us that we always have a choice on how we show up, if we show up, and when we leave. And how goals, boundaries, and a little preparation can create that holiday experience we desire. 

Content Warning: This episode discusses borderline personality disorder, delusions, psychosis and schizophrenia.

Sarah was having an ordinary day in her life as a writer living in Los Angeles when her phone rang. Her grandmother explained that Sarah’s mom had been picked up ranting and raving on the side of the freeway in Houston, where Sarah grew up. It was a shock but not a surprise for Sarah, who had already lived with her mother’s psychosis, schizophrenia, delusions for as long as she could remember, the occurrences getting more frequent as time went on. Fortunately, Sarah had wonderful loving care from her grandmother and her aunt who provided support and strategies for what Sarah was going through. Sarah, the author of the memoir No One Gets to Fall Apart, talks about conflicts with her mom from childhood through to Sarah’s successful career and marriage as an adult. She also shares how really studying and exploring the situation has helped her make connections between traumatic events and the ways both she and her mother shaped their lives as a result of that trauma. In the interview, Sarah mentions the book Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship, which she found very helpful.