Inner Nut Shell

I have pondered on these words from time to time throughout my life and have discovered that we can indeed, free love from the shackles of absurdity and obscurity by keeping our hearts open and accepting that we are here to FEEL love on all levels, within all moments. Yes this is a challenge, one that I freely accept and acknowledge. Fear is also a challenge that I accept and acknowledge as part of the total human experience. Language and the interpretation of these two words are keys to unlocking how we see our world and the world around us.

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Life really can be "like a box of chocolates," when you allow it. I like to look at the chocolate and select the ones I like, leaving the rest. It's time to change things up and try new and different chocolates so to speak. If I want my life to be different then I need to BE different and challenge my norm. Giving myself permission to try the chocolates I wouldn't usually eat has been rewarding. There are flavours in life I have been weary about and new ones I didn't know existed. Talk about totally blissed out! This experience has helped cement in me that feeling overwhelmed is how I learn and grow. I'm not scared of this process any longer. Watch out world, who knows where this will lead.

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I have not experienced anxiety for over 20 years. This debilitating illness has raised its ugly head again in my life as I allow myself to have an open heart and feel everything. Energetically I was reminded that I need to feel all emotions and let them pass through my body, instead of holding the emotions in. The last month has been very emotionally challenging for me. My thoughts have not felt like my own, rather a part of myself that does not exist any longer. A fractal part that was deep inside my psyche, well hidden and safe from prying eyes and ears. Now let that truth sink in!

I have been hermit like for the last 6 months so when I had to deal with a crisis, I found myself unprepared and not conscious of the choices I was making. I began to feel out of control like, I had given away my autonomy to some stranger. Before I knew it, I was creating all these stories about how dire things were and that the world was going to end by gobbling me up and then shitting me out. Actually! My ego had responded to emotions and circumstances that suited the agenda. It took a couple of weeks to see clearly and step back from the illusion.

What did I learn though?

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My motto, which I prided myself on during my 20's & 30's was, "self inflicted injuries get NO sympathy." Meaning if I hurt myself intentionally or unintentionally I was not to complain or draw attention to myself or the situation I had found myself in. After all I had probably brought it on myself. Meaning I was deserving of whatever consequences came my way, especially the negative self loathing. Now I think partly this was taught to me by family and society in general. This phrase was essentially a form of self protection to keep people away and a great place to hide the guilt and shame I was feeling, even though I was not aware that was what I was doing.

Today I expose the elephant in my room. I haven't had the best relationship with alcohol and I need and want to be open and honest with myself about this. After all, this is part of my truth. I am at a point in my life where I no longer want to hide from myself. I feel like the excuses or stories I continue to tell myself are no longer relevant and to be honest I'm sick of hearing that voice of justification. The voice that says "just one more, relax, you deserve this, I'm better than I used to be" or my personal favourite, "I'm not hurting anyone!" I've always had this voice. I always thought this was my voice of reason. I now know this is my ego or voice of justification.

I want to be proactive in my life which also means I want to be healed from the trauma that has been inflicted upon me and self inflicted. I no longer can stand the internal dialog that is negative and really, total bullshit! This story that I tell myself that I'm not good enough or not worthy is an illusion that I have bought into and no longer believe. I know it won't be easy. I also know I am worthy of a blissfully, beautiful loving life as we all are. I want to be the person I know I am capable of being. For me that means challenging and changing my relationship with alcohol. My only commitment is to myself and one step at a time. Maybe my story is familiar, maybe you too want to embrace the full potential of who you are. Or maybe you know someone who struggles with alcohol and you don't know how to help or what to do. However this comes to you please remember, you are enough, you are loved and be kind to yourself. There is help available and its #OK2SAYNO.

SEEKING INFORMATION AROUND OVERCOMING ADDICTION OR DRINKING LESS:

https://hellosundaymorning.org/

https://www.soberinthecountry.org/

https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/

https://aa.org.au/

https://ntcoss.org.au/directory/categories/alcohol-other-drugs

RELATED ORGANISATIONS (Australia):

•Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 (24 hours/day, 7 days/week)

•DrugInfo: 1300 858 584 (9am - 5pm, Monday - Friday)

•Family Drug Support Australia: 1300 368 186 (24 hours/day, 7 days/week)

•Youth Support + Advocacy Service: 1800 458 685 (9am - 8pm, Monday - Friday)

•Kids Helpline : 1800 551 800 (24 hours/day, 7 days/week)

•Parentline (QLD and NT): 1300 301 300 (phones open 8am - 10pm, 7 days/week

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Dazed and confused. There are so many new challenges that we are facing today and I'm feeling a tad vulnerable. The calling to stand up and make use of the tools I have is strong. The inner turmoil of thinking V feeling, is leaving me conflicted and overwhelmed and creates more questions than answers. I'm allowing myself to have the space I need to sit with and Be, not trying to articulate my feelings or box it nice and neatly. Life can be messy and confusing at the best of times. I feel the current flow of life for us all is about being overwhelmed with what is happening in the world. Mass hysteria and the misinformation from mainstream media, creating fear, that is trying to control our movement within borders whilst simultaneously eroding our human rights. Economic and political unrest, pointing fingers and our need to blame or hold someone accountable is dividing us further. I feel we need this shake up to help us wake up to what is really going on behind the scenes. Humanity needs a shift and we can't do that if we are not willing to see what else is possible. I don't have the answers, we can only discover this when we have open conversations about ways forward. We are in a time of deep questioning, of learning and of growth. With these feelings I went in search of answers and came across many likeminded souls.

Charles Eisenstein was one man that I was introduced to through a podcast and at the time hubby was reading his book, Sacred Economics. Everything this man says resonates with me. As a result Inner Nut Shell and A Reality Few-Sea have signed up as affiliate partners to assist in spreading his powerful message of hope and change through his course.

Political Hope with Charles Eisenstein is a 10-day, in-depth social impact course that merges the spiritual and political, the personal and communal. This course examines how our thoughts, choices, and perceptions intertwine with the fate of our civilization. Individually and collectively, we are on a journey from a story of separation to a new, yet ancient, story of reunion: ecology, interdependency, interbeing.

If this resonates sign up by following this link

https://www.onecommune.com/a/30719/Trce3X2U

Choices!

When it comes to choice are you conscious of this? I never even considered this until a few years ago when I started to become aware that I was a conscious being and naively thought everyone knew or felt the same as me. I have discovered that one of my super human powers, or is it strength? Is choice. Once I was aware that is.

Yes there can be limitations or perceptions like morals, values and beliefs. Who implanted those and what is my level of privilege or where on the scale am I oppressed if at all? Once I acknowledge this, I am afforded certain choices within my inner world and I began to see myself as deserving of choice. I can't even fathom the outer world. Therefore I am mindful of my conscious choice and how these choices influence my decisions and effect others and how I view the world.

For sure I'm still learning growing and getting it wrong. Or am I wrong? That's the choice right? To be wrong and acknowledge the choice, that's learning and growth right? To be clear this isn't about right or wrong, its about knowing we have choice. Good people make bad choices. An important choice I acknowledge and choose everyday is, love. I choose love. What are you choosing consciously today?

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Web: arealityfew-sea.com

Email: [email protected]

Website podcast link arealityfew-sea.com/innernutshell

I was in a psychology class at Uni when I first heard "your perception is your reality." WTF!! Talk about change my whole world. I started to realise that my values and beliefs were more fluid than I realised and that the evolution of these values and beliefs gave understanding of how my life experiences influence my ideals and perspectives. This leads me to question everything. I question because I do not know or I am yet to understand the deeper essence of who I am.

I feel the labels that family, friends, society, institutions and even ourselves, place on us are restrictive and limiting. Why do we do this? How do we break free? Do you want to break free? Get out of the box and step away from the distractions and ask the question, who am I really? What is the recipe that makes up this human?

Connect with Shell via Instagram or at arealityfew-sea.com

The Truth and Self Inner Nut Shell