Hold on to your reality! You’re about to explore an episode of a podcast that explores an archived website that explores the genius mind of a child with an internet connection, too much time on his hands, and a deep working knowledge of 90’s website culture and style. Discover the answers to questions like: Who is Mr. Butt? What is the “correct short” for Theo Chandler? And are movie files too big to put online?

But trust me, you’ll leave with more questions than answers.

Also in this episode: “Did you hear about how it was ‘his driveway’?”, “Wait a second, that’s my wife!”, “Why isn’t this a template on Wix?”, “Now that’s what I want when I go to a sketchy website: tricks!”, Yahoo! GeoCities, and Survivor.

Welcome back to another installment of Joseph’s Big Book of Excuses! In today’s episode, you’ll hear Joseph’s excuses for:

• Not having any friends

Listen and follow along with your own excuses!

Also in this episode: “I microwave my food!”, loopholesinsharialaw .com, Motorola, Home Depot, Apple, Pokemon, Saddam Hussein, Prius, the Hubble Space Telescope, TI-89, Libby, Lite-Brite, Instagram, Facebook, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Joe Biden.

Do you want to be the guy whose clothes are always wet? Do you feel like the neighborhood dogs don’t need you? Are you wondering if Skechers makes shorts now? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then this delightful podcast episode will be a treat for your little ears. Listen to it.

Also in this episode: “Where’s my driving wine?”, “In Texas, we don’t just mess with alligators, we molest them.”, explosive diarrhea, Bob’s Butt Plug Emporium, Michigan State, and UNC.

2022. The prime of the Inside the Mind of a Child Genius Podcast. The content - both of podcast and of the world in general - had never been better.

The happy story ends there.

What follows is a no-no and a big one: questionable math, even more questionable science, and an alarming amount of smugness. But if there’s one thing this episode makes clear, it’s that Herbert Hoover should have done…more. What’s your opinion?

Also in this episode: “I need to go look at a cat.”, “Now I love to poison myself.”, “My horrified eyes!”, “I may not have talked about it much, but I proved it.”, the Great Depression, the Roaring Twenties, Herbert Hoover, Real Poetry for Real People, America, Switzerland, Wall Street, and Smirnoff Ice.

Jackie from the Fire the Canon Podcast visits for this exciting new mini season where we test multiple catchphrases, roast a grandpa, and revisit some particularly low points in our lives - in a fun way! Listen for tips on how to save positive money, distinguish between cats and possums, and even discover what it’s like to be a Republican.

Also in this episode: “Why do you smell like a bush?”, “You should see this shitty dog.”, “I went to a hard kindergarten.”, Jimmy Buffett, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, Zillow, Carolina Panthers, Apple Jacks, Ford, Walt Disney, and Juilliard.

In this episode we reach the end of Daniel’s ill-fated love story. It was a wild ride, and things got a little bit wilder this time with time-traveling love notes, woman-troll romance, orange juice benders, grandma roasting, Duolingo fetishes, and discounted sperm.

If that’s not enough for you, Daniel and Theo also reveal how they almost contributed to the field of eugenics in their own unfortunate ways.

Also in this episode: “Oh, were you popular? Whoops, I mean of course you were.”, “I would feel empowered talking to Poor Peasant.”, “The whole experience was a little emasculating, but I’d do it again.”, Thoo, Lord of the Rings, Valentine’s Day, Monopoly, World War II, Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and Pokemon.

Have you ever wondered how to get out of traffic tickets or get great discounts at restaurants? Well, listen to this podcast and we’ll tell you! (It’s lying). We’ll also discuss some good tips on tricking people into making out with you or even getting two different people to kiss each other.

If you like unethical life hacks, then this is the episode for you!

Also in this episode: “Did you really have to pull out the honeycombs and lick them while you were driving?”, “You’re doing 70 in a school zone and that’s fucking cool dude.”, “Right now I’m living in this traffic court.”, Jaguar cars, Lamborghini, Tesla, Prius, Toyota Corolla, Valentine’s Day, Terror at the Zoo

In this episode we're celebrating Valentine's Day with special guest, Daniel! We each have special mystery themes for this episode, not Valentine’s related in any way!

Daniel writes to his dear Uncle Nasty about his Sarah-based lovesickness, and tells him the secrets that he wants everyone to find out about. We also uncover the most astonishing reveal yet!

Also in this episode: “We all have a mystery theme y’all”, “That sounds like something Uncle Nasty does”, “That’s a good Valentine’s Day trick”, “I said a silent ‘Yes’ and walked on”, Meat Drink, Texas, Romeo and Juliet, Clue, Mystery, Onions, Biscuits and Bullets,

In this episode we're celebrating Valentine's Day with special guest, Daniel! Daniel had a strange, unsettling approach to love, as witnessed in his childhood journals. We start off in 1997, which was a bad year, especially for Mary-Jo.

Additionally, Theo opens up about a problem he's been having at work, and he asks his cousins for advice. We cover some World War I history as well.

Also in this episode: "I'm supposed to pee to this?", "Someone's gonna run into that ghost board!", Disney World, The Renaissance, Pillsbury Doughboy, The Doughboys, Joe Dirt, World War I, Age 9, Juanal, Scooby Doo, Don Rickles

In this retrospective episode, we look back and try to make some sense of the insanity that was Island of the Dinosaurs. We’ve got revisions, bad Amazon reviews, theme park design, character superlatives, and more!

Also in this episode: “Thought for sure it would be a hamburger”, “He was taking the ass-route”, Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park, Disney, Cedar Point, Scarlett Johansson, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Amy Poehler, Timothee Chalamet, Drake, Jar Jar Binks, Angelina Jolie, Charlie Day, Daniel Radcliffe, Sean Bean, Jennifer Aniston, Ellie Kemper, Andy Serkis, and Jason Statham.