In which Prince Markus and his ex celebrate some much-needed good news, though their firstborn is being tested, and the first minister of Scotland and her husband are swimming with the sharks.

In which Mathew Shrove consults Benedict Morgan about Priscilla van de Lare’s border gaffe and Mandy plans her future with both Potty’s father, Somerset, and Fleur Aspall.

In which the EU commission overplays its hand; the French take the opportunity to give the UK a good kicking and Mandy connects with new and influential people in her quest for a green and pleasant land.

The only ‘world-beating’ laurels to be placed on the head of our hapless leader are that for presiding over one hundred thousand Covid deaths; Nifti Kadva, home secretary, cracks on by crashing heads together and Melania glows on her final performance as FLOTUS.

In which Tony Hancock, health secretary, guesses a few unnerving uncertainties about Covid; Trump ups his antics and Prince Markus’s ex has some good news.

In which Sabbath Malek, business secretary, is looking forward to his next move; Melania makes her final move and the Cannon’s fowl fall foul of the WI.

In which the health secretary is blasted by Steen Playfair’s committee; William Gaunt, education secretary, has his return to school policy scuppered as the new British variant lets rip and Mandy plans her future.

It’s to be a Christmas Eve like no other when the news of a deal is broken and the nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Time is really fast running out: who will chicken out first? Only time will tell.

In which the PM realises the enormity of the changes to life post-pandemic, with unfavourable mythical comparisons.